Jan. 20, 2026

The Little Things That Drive Us Crazy - And Break Our Hearts When They’re Gone

The Little Things That Drive Us Crazy - And Break Our Hearts When They’re Gone

What if the very things that drive you crazy as a parent are the same things you’ll ache for one day?

In this heartfelt and deeply relatable episode of We Are the Hansons, host Myia Hanson reflects on the everyday moments of parenting that test our patience but quietly shape our memories. From the constant noise and endless questions to the messes, interruptions, bedtime rituals, and big emotions, this episode explores the truth every parent eventually learns: childhood is fleeting.

With warmth, honesty, and gentle humor, Myia reminds parents that the chaos isn’t something to rush through. It’s something to hold onto. Because one day, the house will be quieter, the mess will be gone, and the moments that once overwhelmed us will be the ones we miss the most.

This episode is a love letter to parents in the thick of it and a reminder that you’re not failing. You’re living in the middle of something meaningful.

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There are moments as a parent that make you want

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to lose your mind, Moments where you stand in the

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middle of your kitchen, barefoot, holding a cold cup of

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coffee that you reheated twice and still haven't finished, staring

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at a mess you swear wasn't there thirty seconds ago,

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and you think, why did they do this? Why did

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they leave socks in the hallway like breadcrumbs leading to nowhere?

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Why do they slam doors like they're announcing their arrival

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to the entire neighborhood. Why did they ask questions, wait

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for you to stop what you're doing, make eye contact,

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and then walk away before you can answer. Why did

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they put the empty milk carton back in the fridge?

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Why did they step over the same pile of laundry

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seventeen times without picking it up? And yet there comes

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a day, a quiet day, a day when the hallway

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is clean, the door doesn't slam, the house doesn't echo

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with noise, the empty milk curtain doesn't appear, and suddenly,

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without warning, your heart aches because the thing that drove

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you absolutely crazy, the thing you complained about, the thing

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you thought would never end. You would give anything to

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hear it again, you would give anything to see it

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one more time. Welcome back to We are the hans Ends.

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I'm your host, Maya Hansen, and if you're new here,

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welcome to our family table. Pull up a chair, pour

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yourself some coffee or wine or whatever gets you through

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the day. We're a big, loud, messy, imperfect family who

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believes real life is worth talking about the good, the hard,

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the funny, the moments that make us laugh, cry and

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question our sanity, sometimes all in the same day. Today's

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episode is one that came from a late night conversation

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with Jeremy. You know those conversations, the kind you have

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when the house finally goes quiet and you're sitting there

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in the darkness and suddenly all these feelings just surface.

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We're talking about how fast time is moving, how our

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oldest kids aren't kids anymore, how the babies aren't babies,

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how the middle ones are suddenly looking more like teenagers

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than toddlers. And we started asking ourselves this question, what

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is something your kids do that drives you crazy? But

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you know, deep down you would miss it if it stopped.

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If you're a parent, I already know your mind is

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racing right now. You're thinking of ten things, twenty things,

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maybe just one very specific thing that makes you want

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to scream and laugh at the same time. If you're

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not a parent yet, talk this episode away seriously, bookmarket

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one day, it'll make sense in a way you can't

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imagine yet. Let's dive in. Let's start with the noise.

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Oh my goodness, the noise. The constant talking, the arguing

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over things that don't matter, the laughing that somehow always

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happens at maximum volume, the random singing at the worst

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possible moments, someone narrating their entire life from the other

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room like they're hosting their own documentary. And my personal favorite, mom, Mom,

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Mom Mom, and the moment you answer silence radio silence

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like you've disappeared into thin air. It's enough to test

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your patience on a daily basis, hourly, if we're being honest,

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there are days when the noise feels like too much,

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when you crave quiet the way you crave sleep or caffeine,

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When you think, if I could just have five minutes

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of complete silence, I would be a better human, a

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nicer human, a human that doesn't fantasize about running away

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to a remote cabin in the woods. I remember one

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particular loud afternoon. All the kids were home. Everyone was

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talking at once. Someone was practicing their musical instrument, someone

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else was watching something on their iPad without headphones. Two

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kids were fighting about a video game. Another one was

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asking me questions about photosynthesis while I was trying to

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answer an email, and I just stopped. I put my

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hands up and said, everyone please just stop talking, and

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they did for about thirty seconds, and then it started again.

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But here's what I've learned. One day, the noise faates.

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Kids grow up, Schedules change, doors close more often, Conversations

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moved behind walls or out into the world instead of

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happening in our kitchen. Someone moves out, someone gets their

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own apartment, someone has their own life that doesn't revolve

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around you anymore. And you realize the noise was never

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just noise. It was life. It was proof that your

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house was full, that your kids felt safe enough to

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be loud, that they wanted to be heard, that they

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wanted your attention, your input, your presence, the constant calling

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of mom. It meant you were their first choice, their

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go to person, the one they trusted with everything. From

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the mundoon is the meaningful, and suddenly why it doesn't

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feel peaceful anymore. It feels empty. I have friends whose

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kids have grown and moved out, whose houses are clean

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and calm and organized, and you know what they tell me.

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They missed the noise. They would give anything to hear

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mom called out one more time. So when you're in

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the thick of it, when the noise feels overwhelming, take

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a breath, because one day you'll wish you could hear

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it again. Let's talk about the mess. The shoes by

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the door, never in the closet, always right where you'll

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trip over them. The backpacks exploded across the floor like

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a tornado touchdown in the entryway. The dishes left right

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next to the sink instead of in it, not even

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close to the dishwasher, just there on the counter, mocking you.

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The snack wrappers stuffed between couch cushions, The wet towels

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on the bedroom floors. The mysterious piles of things that

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don't belong to anyone. When you ask, it's exhausting, You clean,

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and five minutes later it looks like you didn't. You

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remind them, you nag, you negotiate, You give them speeches

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about responsibility and respect that should honestly earn you a

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ted talk invitation, and yet the mess returns like magic,

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terrible frustrating magic. I used to get so frustrated by this.

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I would clean the entire house, everything spotless, and I'd think,

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this time it'll stay clean, this time they'll notice how

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nice it looks, and they'll help maintain it. And within

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an hour there would be crumbs on the counter, shoes

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in the hallway, jackets on chairs. I'd feel defeated, like

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I was fighting a losing battle. But here's the truth.

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No one tells you. One day the mess stops, not

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because they find only listen to your speeches, not because

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they suddenly became tidy, but because they're gone. The shoes

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aren't by the door because they're at their apartment. The

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backpacks aren't in the hallway because they don't live here anymore.

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The messes don't magically appear because there's no one here

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to make them. And while the clean house feels nice

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at first, it also feels strangely lonely because the mess

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wasn't disrespect. It was evidence of life happening, of kids

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coming and going, of stories unfolding in real time. Of

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a home being lived in, not just maintained. I have

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a friend who texts me pictures of her clean house

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now that her kids are grown, beautiful, pinterest worthy pictures,

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and she always adds the same caption, I trade this

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clean house for one messy afternoon with them as kids.

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So when you're picking up the same toys for the

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hundredth time, when you're stepping over shoes again, when you're

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wondering if anyone else in this house can see the mess,

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remember the mess is temporary, and one day you'll miss it.

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The interruptions, Oh, the interruptions, Your mid sentence, mid thought,

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mid conversation with another adult that you've been desperately trying

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to have for twenty minutes, and suddenly, Mom, watch this, Mom?

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Can I tell you something? Mom? Guess what? Mom? Look?

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You hold up a finger, the universal just a minute gesture.

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You try to finish what you were saying. You try

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to focus, You try to maintain adult conversation. Improve to

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yourself that you still have brain cells that work. Sometimes

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you fail, Sometimes you snap, sometimes you die. Sometimes you

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say just a minute more sharply than you meant to.

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Sometimes you completely lose your train of thought and have

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to ask the other adult, what was I even saying?

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Because interruptions feel inconvenient, they feel like a violation of

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your time and attention. They feel restless. But here's the

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part that hits hard later. They interrupted you because you mattered,

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because they thought what they had to say was important

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enough to share with you right now, because they couldn't wait,

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because you were their safe place, their audience, their person.

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Think about it. They didn't interrupt just anyone. They interrupted

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you because you were the one they wanted to tell.

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You were the one they trusted with their excitement, their discovery,

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random thought, their need. One day, the interruptions stop. They

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don't burst into your rooms anymore. They don't beg you

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to watch. They don't need your attention in the same

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urgent way. They process things internally, they text their friends instead.

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They keep things to themselves, and you realize the interruptions

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were moments of connection disguised as inconvenience. I remember being

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on a phone call once, an important call, and my

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daughter came in three separate times to show me a drawing,

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ask me a question, and tell me about something that

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happened at school. I was frustrated. I kept whispering I'm

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on the phone, but she kept coming back, and later,

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when the call was over, I thought about it. She

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came to me three times because she wanted to share

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her world with me, and one day she won't. One

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day she'll have another person to share with. So now

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when I get interrupted, I try to remember this won't

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last forever. The questions, so many questions, why, how? What? If?

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Did you know? But why? How do you know what

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happens if? Sometimes the questions feel endless. You answer one

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and it leads to five more. You try to give

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thoughtful responses, but your brain is tired and you're pretty

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sure you're making up facts. At this point, your patients

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wear thin. You start giving shorter answers. You think, can

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we just have five minutes without a question. I once

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counted how many questions my eight year old asked me

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in one hour forty three forty three questions in sixty minutes,

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Questions about everything from why is the sky blue? Do

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fish sleep? What would happen if everyone in the world

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jumped at the same time? And I loved her curiosity,

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but I also felt exhausted by it. But then the

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questions change, slowly, subtly, they get fewer, more guarded, more selective.

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The little kick questions fade away, the big cake questions

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become more private, and one day you realize they're not

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asking you anymore. They're figuring things out on their own.

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They're googling instead of asking. They're asking their friends, or

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their siblings or strangers on the internet. And you miss

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the questions because questions meant curiosity. Questions meant trust. Questions

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meant they believed you had answers. Questions meant they wanted

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to under stand the world and they wanted you to

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help them do it. I would give anything to answer

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forty three questions in one hour from my older kids. Again,

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So when your little one asks you why for the

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tenth time in a row, when they wake you up

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at six in the morning with a question about dinosaurs,

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when they interrupt your thoughts with wondering, answer them, even

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when you're tired, even when you don't know the answer,

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because one day the questions will stop and you'll wish

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they hadn't. Every kid has that habit, you know, the one.

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The tapping, the humming, the chewing too loudly, the bouncing

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their leg under the table, the pacing while they talk,

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the clicking their pen, the cracking their knuckles, the snipping

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instead of blowing their nose, the thing that makes you

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grit your teeth and say can you please step doing that,

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and they say sorry and try to stop, but five

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minutes later they're doing it again, because it's not intentional,

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it's just part of who they are in this moment.

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My daughter used to hum constantly while doing homework, while eating,

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while just sitting there existing, and it would drive me crazy.

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I'd say, do you realize you're humming? And she'd looks surprised?

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Was I every single time? It wasn't defiance, it was

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just her. Those habits feel annoying in the moment, they

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feel like nails on a chalkboard, But habits are personal.

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They're part of who your child is in the season

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of life. They're coping mechanism, comfort, self regulation, and when

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they grow out of them, you don't even notice at first,

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until one day you realize she doesn't hum anymore, she

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doesn't tap, he doesn't bounce, she doesn't paste, and somehow

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the silence feels heavier than the noise ever did, because

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those little kirks were uniquely there. I caught myself missing

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my daughter's humming. The other day, the house was quiet,

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I was doing some work and I realized I hadn't

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heard her hum in months, and my heart broke a

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little because the humming was part of her childhood and

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now it's gone. So when your kid does that annoying thing,

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when they tap and hum and bounce and fidget, try

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to see it differently. This is who they are right now,

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and one day you'll miss it. Let's talk about being needed.

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Being needed is exhausting. There's no sugarcoating that kids need

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you for everything. Food, comfort, guidance, reassurance, help fighting things

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that they are literally right there in front of them,

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permission validation, problem solving. They need help trying shoes, solving

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math problems, navigating emotions they don't understand yet. They need

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you to mediate fights, interpret instructions, explain the world. There

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are days when you feel touched out, need out, emotionally drained,

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days when you lock yourself in the bathroom just to

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have two minutes alone. Days when you think I just

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want a moment to myself, a moment where I'm not mom,

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where I'm just me. I remember feeling so overwhelmed by

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being needed all the time, I felt like I couldn't

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breathe without someone needing something from me. I felt guilty

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for wanting space, but I also felt suffocated by the

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constant demands. And then they don't need you like that anymore.

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They're capable, independent, confident. They tie their own shoes, they

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solve their own problems, they find their own things, they

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make their own decisions, and you're proud. You're so proud.

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This is what you raised them to do, this is

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what you wanted. But you also miss being needed, because

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being needed meant you were central to their world. Being

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needed meant you mattered in a way that nothing else

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could replicate. One of my older kids said something to

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me recently that stuck with me. We're talking about college

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applications and future plans and I offered to help with

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something and she said, I got it, Mom, I don't

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need help, and she didn't. She really didn't need me,

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And I was proud and heartbroken at the same time

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because I want her to be independent, but I also

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miss being the person she needed for everything. So when

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your kids need you constantly, when you feel exhausted by it,

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remember one day they won't need you like this. And

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you'll miss it more than you can imagine. Bedtime the

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endless request, one more drink, one more hug, one more story.

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I'm not tired yet. My pillow isn't right. I need

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to tell you something. The stalin, the negotiations, the dramatic

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declarations of absolutely definitely not being tired, while they're literally yawning.

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You sigh, You check the clock. You wonder how something

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so simple takes so long long. You've read the book twice,

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you've gotten the water, you've adjusted the blankets, you've said

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good night four times, and just when you think you're free, mom,

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bedtime can feel like a battle, especially when you're exhausted

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and you just want to collapse on the couch. But

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bet time is sacred. It's where secrets come out, where

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fear's surface, where love is reaffirmed. It's when they tell

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you things they couldn't say during the busy day. It's

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when they ask the hard questions. It's when they're vulnerable

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in ways they won't be in the daylight. I've learned

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some of the most important things about my kids at bedtime.

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Things that they were afraid of, things they were excited about,

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things they were processing because bedtime is when the world

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slows down, when distractions fade, when it's just you and

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them in the quiet. One day, bedtime routines end. No

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more stories, no more tuk ins, no more whispered conversations

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in the dark, no more one more hug. They go

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to bed on their own, They close their door. They

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don't need you to say good night. And you would

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give anything for one more, one more hug. You would

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read the same book seventeen times, you would get the

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water and adjust the blankets and answer the question because

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those moments were connection. So when bedtime feels long tonight,

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when you're tired and they're asking for one more thing,

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give them one more hug. One day, they won't ask.

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Kids feel everything intensely. They go from laughing to crying

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in seconds, from joy to devastation over things that seems

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to us, from anger to affection in the blink of

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an eye. Their emotions are big, loud, messy, and sometimes confusing.

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One minute they're your best friend. The next minute they

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hate you because you cut their sandwich wrong. Five minutes later,

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they're hugging you like you're their favorite person in the world.

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It can feel overwhelming to manage your own emotion while

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helping them navigate theirs. It can feel exhausting to be

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their emotional anchor. I remember my daughter having a complete

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meltdown over her socks, feeling weird, full tears, genuine distress,

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and part of me wanted to laugh because their socks.

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But to her, in that moment, it was everything. It

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was the worst thing that had ever happened, and I

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had to take it seriously. But those big feelings mean

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big hearts. They mean when your kids trust you enough

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to feel deeply in your presence, they mean they know

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it's safe to fall apart with you. They mean they

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haven't learned to hide their emotions yet, and one day

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they will. One day they'll guard their emotions more carefully.

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They won't cry as easily, they won't share as freely.

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They'll process things internally, they'll hide their struggles. They'll say

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I'm fine when they're not, and you'll miss the raw

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honesty of their feelings. Even the meltdowns oversop because at

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least you knew what they were feeling, at least they

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trusted you with it. So when your child is having

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a big feelings over something that seems small, when they're

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crying over things you don't understand. When their emotions feel

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like too much, Remember they're showing you their heart, and

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one day they won't. Here's the truth no one prepares

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you for. Parenting is a constant state of this is

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hard and this is fleeting happening at the same time.

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The days feel long, but the years feel short. You're

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exhausted in the moment. You want them to grow up

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and be independent, but you also want them to stay

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small forever. The things that drive you crazy today are

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the things that you'll ache for tomorrow. Not because they

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were perfect, not because they were easy, but because they

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were yours. They were part of your story, part of

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this season, part of this chapter of life that you

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can never get back. I look at my older kids

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now and I see glimpses of who they were, But

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they're not those kids anymore. They're wonderful, they're growing, they're becoming,

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but they're not the little ones who interrupted me and

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made messes and asked endless questions. Those versions of them

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are gone, and I miss them, even though I love

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who they are now. Time doesn't stop. Kids don't stay kids,

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and the annoying things, the hard things, the exhausting things.

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They end before you're ready. So if your house is

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loud right now, if it's messy, if you're being interrupted

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and needed and questioned, you're not doing it wrong. You're

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just in the middle of it. And that's exactly where

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the magic lives. Before we close today, I want to

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share something with you, a recipe. Now. I know that

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might be like a strange shift. We've been talking about

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emotions and memories and all these big feelings, but food.

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Food is a part of this story too, because some

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of the best memories with my kids aren't from the

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perfect moment. They're from the kitchen, from the messy, chaotic

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flour everywhere someone's crying because they crack the egg growing moments.

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There's this recipe I make when life feels overwhelming, when

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the house is too loud and I need to do

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something with my hands, when I want to create something

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that brings everyone together. It's my favorite chocolate chip cookies.

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And I'm going to share it with you. Not because

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it's fancy, it's not, not because it's unique, it's actually

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pretty standard, but because this recipe represents everything we've been

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talking about today. Here's what you need. One cup of

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softened butter, real butter, not margarine. Trust me on this.

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Three quarters cup of white sugar, three quarters cup of

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brown sugar, packed, two eggs, two teaspoons of vanilla extract,

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two and a quarter cups of all purpose flour, one

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teaspoon of baking soda, one teaspoon of salt, and two

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cups of chocolate chips. Maybe a little more if you're

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feeling generous. Here's how you make them. Preheat your oven

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to three seventy five. In a bowl, cream together the

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butter and bowl sugars until it's fluffy. This takes a

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few minutes. Don't rush it. Let your kids help if

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they want to, even if they make a mess, especially

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if they make a mess. Beat in the eggs one

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at a time, then add the vanilla in a separate bowl.

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Mix your flour, baking soda, and salt. Gradually add the

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dry ingredients to the wet ingredients. Mix and tel just combine.

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Fold in the chocolate chips. Drop spoonfuls of dough onto

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a baking sheet. They don't need to be perfect. In fact,

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the imperfect ones always taste better. Bake for nine to

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eleven minutes. They should be golden around the edges, but

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still soft in the middle. Let them cool for a

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few minutes before you move them. Now here's the real recipe.

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Make these cookies on a random tuesday. Let your kids help,

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even though it will take twice as long. Let them

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eat the dough even though you're supposed to say no.

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Let them fight over who gets to crack the eggs.

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Let them make a mess, Let them lick the beaters.

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Let them burn their mouth on a cookie fresh from

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the oven because they couldn't wait. Because one day you'll

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make these cookies alone, and the kitchen will be clean

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and quiet, and you'll wish for the mess. The recipe

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for these days isn't just ingredients and measurements. It's patients

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mixed with exhaustion. It's chaos folded into love. It's mess

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sprinkled with grace, its presence even when you're tired, And

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it's worth it every single time. If I could write

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a letter to my future self, it would say this,

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dear future me, Remember the noise, Remember how the house

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was never quiet. Remember how you couldn't finish a sentence

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without being interrupted. Remember the messes that appeared out of nowhere,

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Remember the questions that never seemed to end. Remember the

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habits that drove you crazy, Remember feeling needed and touched

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out and exhausted. Remember the bedtime routines that took forever.

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Remember the big emotions that filled your days. I know

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you miss it now. I know you would give anything

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to go back. I know you wish you had been

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more patient, more present, more grateful in those moments. But

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here's what I want you to know. You did your best.

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You loved them fiercely. You showed up even when you

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were tired. You were enough, and they knew they were loved.

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You can't go back, but you can remember. You can

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hold those memories close. You can be grateful for every loud, messy, chaotic,

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beautiful moment, because those moments meant life was happening right

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in front of you, and you didn't wish it away.

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You lived it. Love your past self. So today, if

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your kids are driving you crazy, if the noise feels

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like too much, if the mess is overwhelming, if the

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interruptions are constant, take a breath, look at them, really

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look at them. Because the things that test your patience

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now are the memories your heart will cling too later.

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You're not doing it wrong. You're not failing, You're just

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in the middle of it. And one day, when the

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house is quiet and clean and calm, you'll wish you

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could go back, just for one day, just for one loud, messy, chaotic,

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beautiful day. Hold them close, even when they're loud, even

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when they're messy, even when they drive you a little crazy,

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because one day you'll miss it all. Thank you for

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00:31:26.200 --> 00:31:29.759
spending time with me on We Are the Handsome. If

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00:31:29.759 --> 00:31:33.559
this episode resonated with you, please share it with another

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00:31:33.680 --> 00:31:36.240
parent who needs to hear they're not alone in this.

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00:31:36.839 --> 00:31:38.880
Share it with someone who's in the thick of it.

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00:31:39.279 --> 00:31:42.359
Share it with someone whose kids have grown. Share it

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00:31:42.400 --> 00:31:45.680
with someone who needs permission to feel both overwhelmed and

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00:31:45.720 --> 00:31:48.920
grateful at the same time. You can find us on

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00:31:49.160 --> 00:31:53.720
all major podcast platforms. Leave us a review. If this

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00:31:53.880 --> 00:31:58.240
episode touched your heart, it helps other families find us,

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00:31:58.440 --> 00:32:00.400
and if you want to connect with the us more,

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00:32:00.640 --> 00:32:04.119
find us on Instagram or Facebook under we are the Hansens.

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Share your stories with us, tell us about your kids

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00:32:08.240 --> 00:32:11.240
and what drives you crazy but you know you'll miss

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00:32:11.880 --> 00:32:15.240
You can also find us on we Arethehansoenfamily dot com.

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Because we're all in this together until next time. Hold

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them close, even when they're loud, even when they're messy,

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even when they drive you a little crazy, because one

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00:32:26.799 --> 00:32:28.279
day you'll miss it all