Jan. 20, 2026
The Little Things That Drive Us Crazy - And Break Our Hearts When They’re Gone
What if the very things that drive you crazy as a parent are the same things you’ll ache for one day?
In this heartfelt and deeply relatable episode of We Are the Hansons, host Myia Hanson reflects on the everyday moments of parenting that test our patience but quietly shape our memories. From the constant noise and endless questions to the messes, interruptions, bedtime rituals, and big emotions, this episode explores the truth every parent eventually learns: childhood is fleeting.
With warmth, honesty, and gentle humor, Myia reminds parents that the chaos isn’t something to rush through. It’s something to hold onto. Because one day, the house will be quieter, the mess will be gone, and the moments that once overwhelmed us will be the ones we miss the most.
This episode is a love letter to parents in the thick of it and a reminder that you’re not failing. You’re living in the middle of something meaningful.
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There are moments as a parent that make you want
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to lose your mind, Moments where you stand in the
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middle of your kitchen, barefoot, holding a cold cup of
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coffee that you reheated twice and still haven't finished, staring
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at a mess you swear wasn't there thirty seconds ago,
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and you think, why did they do this? Why did
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they leave socks in the hallway like breadcrumbs leading to nowhere?
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Why do they slam doors like they're announcing their arrival
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to the entire neighborhood. Why did they ask questions, wait
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for you to stop what you're doing, make eye contact,
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and then walk away before you can answer. Why did
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they put the empty milk carton back in the fridge?
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Why did they step over the same pile of laundry
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seventeen times without picking it up? And yet there comes
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a day, a quiet day, a day when the hallway
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is clean, the door doesn't slam, the house doesn't echo
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with noise, the empty milk curtain doesn't appear, and suddenly,
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without warning, your heart aches because the thing that drove
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you absolutely crazy, the thing you complained about, the thing
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you thought would never end. You would give anything to
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hear it again, you would give anything to see it
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one more time. Welcome back to We are the hans Ends.
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I'm your host, Maya Hansen, and if you're new here,
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welcome to our family table. Pull up a chair, pour
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yourself some coffee or wine or whatever gets you through
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the day. We're a big, loud, messy, imperfect family who
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believes real life is worth talking about the good, the hard,
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the funny, the moments that make us laugh, cry and
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question our sanity, sometimes all in the same day. Today's
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episode is one that came from a late night conversation
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with Jeremy. You know those conversations, the kind you have
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when the house finally goes quiet and you're sitting there
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in the darkness and suddenly all these feelings just surface.
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We're talking about how fast time is moving, how our
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oldest kids aren't kids anymore, how the babies aren't babies,
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how the middle ones are suddenly looking more like teenagers
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than toddlers. And we started asking ourselves this question, what
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is something your kids do that drives you crazy? But
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you know, deep down you would miss it if it stopped.
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If you're a parent, I already know your mind is
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racing right now. You're thinking of ten things, twenty things,
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maybe just one very specific thing that makes you want
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to scream and laugh at the same time. If you're
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not a parent yet, talk this episode away seriously, bookmarket
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one day, it'll make sense in a way you can't
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imagine yet. Let's dive in. Let's start with the noise.
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Oh my goodness, the noise. The constant talking, the arguing
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over things that don't matter, the laughing that somehow always
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happens at maximum volume, the random singing at the worst
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possible moments, someone narrating their entire life from the other
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room like they're hosting their own documentary. And my personal favorite, mom, Mom,
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Mom Mom, and the moment you answer silence radio silence
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like you've disappeared into thin air. It's enough to test
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your patience on a daily basis, hourly, if we're being honest,
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there are days when the noise feels like too much,
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when you crave quiet the way you crave sleep or caffeine,
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When you think, if I could just have five minutes
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of complete silence, I would be a better human, a
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nicer human, a human that doesn't fantasize about running away
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to a remote cabin in the woods. I remember one
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particular loud afternoon. All the kids were home. Everyone was
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talking at once. Someone was practicing their musical instrument, someone
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else was watching something on their iPad without headphones. Two
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kids were fighting about a video game. Another one was
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asking me questions about photosynthesis while I was trying to
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answer an email, and I just stopped. I put my
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hands up and said, everyone please just stop talking, and
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they did for about thirty seconds, and then it started again.
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But here's what I've learned. One day, the noise faates.
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Kids grow up, Schedules change, doors close more often, Conversations
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moved behind walls or out into the world instead of
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happening in our kitchen. Someone moves out, someone gets their
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own apartment, someone has their own life that doesn't revolve
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around you anymore. And you realize the noise was never
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just noise. It was life. It was proof that your
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house was full, that your kids felt safe enough to
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be loud, that they wanted to be heard, that they
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wanted your attention, your input, your presence, the constant calling
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of mom. It meant you were their first choice, their
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go to person, the one they trusted with everything. From
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the mundoon is the meaningful, and suddenly why it doesn't
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feel peaceful anymore. It feels empty. I have friends whose
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kids have grown and moved out, whose houses are clean
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and calm and organized, and you know what they tell me.
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They missed the noise. They would give anything to hear
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mom called out one more time. So when you're in
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the thick of it, when the noise feels overwhelming, take
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a breath, because one day you'll wish you could hear
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it again. Let's talk about the mess. The shoes by
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the door, never in the closet, always right where you'll
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trip over them. The backpacks exploded across the floor like
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a tornado touchdown in the entryway. The dishes left right
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next to the sink instead of in it, not even
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close to the dishwasher, just there on the counter, mocking you.
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The snack wrappers stuffed between couch cushions, The wet towels
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on the bedroom floors. The mysterious piles of things that
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don't belong to anyone. When you ask, it's exhausting, You clean,
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and five minutes later it looks like you didn't. You
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remind them, you nag, you negotiate, You give them speeches
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about responsibility and respect that should honestly earn you a
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ted talk invitation, and yet the mess returns like magic,
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terrible frustrating magic. I used to get so frustrated by this.
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I would clean the entire house, everything spotless, and I'd think,
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this time it'll stay clean, this time they'll notice how
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nice it looks, and they'll help maintain it. And within
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an hour there would be crumbs on the counter, shoes
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in the hallway, jackets on chairs. I'd feel defeated, like
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I was fighting a losing battle. But here's the truth.
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No one tells you. One day the mess stops, not
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because they find only listen to your speeches, not because
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they suddenly became tidy, but because they're gone. The shoes
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aren't by the door because they're at their apartment. The
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backpacks aren't in the hallway because they don't live here anymore.
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The messes don't magically appear because there's no one here
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to make them. And while the clean house feels nice
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at first, it also feels strangely lonely because the mess
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wasn't disrespect. It was evidence of life happening, of kids
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coming and going, of stories unfolding in real time. Of
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a home being lived in, not just maintained. I have
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a friend who texts me pictures of her clean house
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now that her kids are grown, beautiful, pinterest worthy pictures,
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and she always adds the same caption, I trade this
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clean house for one messy afternoon with them as kids.
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So when you're picking up the same toys for the
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hundredth time, when you're stepping over shoes again, when you're
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wondering if anyone else in this house can see the mess,
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remember the mess is temporary, and one day you'll miss it.
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The interruptions, Oh, the interruptions, Your mid sentence, mid thought,
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mid conversation with another adult that you've been desperately trying
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to have for twenty minutes, and suddenly, Mom, watch this, Mom?
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Can I tell you something? Mom? Guess what? Mom? Look?
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You hold up a finger, the universal just a minute gesture.
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You try to finish what you were saying. You try
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to focus, You try to maintain adult conversation. Improve to
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yourself that you still have brain cells that work. Sometimes
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you fail, Sometimes you snap, sometimes you die. Sometimes you
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say just a minute more sharply than you meant to.
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Sometimes you completely lose your train of thought and have
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to ask the other adult, what was I even saying?
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Because interruptions feel inconvenient, they feel like a violation of
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your time and attention. They feel restless. But here's the
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part that hits hard later. They interrupted you because you mattered,
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because they thought what they had to say was important
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enough to share with you right now, because they couldn't wait,
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because you were their safe place, their audience, their person.
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Think about it. They didn't interrupt just anyone. They interrupted
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you because you were the one they wanted to tell.
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You were the one they trusted with their excitement, their discovery,
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random thought, their need. One day, the interruptions stop. They
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don't burst into your rooms anymore. They don't beg you
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to watch. They don't need your attention in the same
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urgent way. They process things internally, they text their friends instead.
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They keep things to themselves, and you realize the interruptions
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were moments of connection disguised as inconvenience. I remember being
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on a phone call once, an important call, and my
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daughter came in three separate times to show me a drawing,
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ask me a question, and tell me about something that
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happened at school. I was frustrated. I kept whispering I'm
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on the phone, but she kept coming back, and later,
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when the call was over, I thought about it. She
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came to me three times because she wanted to share
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her world with me, and one day she won't. One
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day she'll have another person to share with. So now
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when I get interrupted, I try to remember this won't
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last forever. The questions, so many questions, why, how? What? If?
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Did you know? But why? How do you know what
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happens if? Sometimes the questions feel endless. You answer one
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and it leads to five more. You try to give
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thoughtful responses, but your brain is tired and you're pretty
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sure you're making up facts. At this point, your patients
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wear thin. You start giving shorter answers. You think, can
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we just have five minutes without a question. I once
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counted how many questions my eight year old asked me
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in one hour forty three forty three questions in sixty minutes,
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Questions about everything from why is the sky blue? Do
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fish sleep? What would happen if everyone in the world
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jumped at the same time? And I loved her curiosity,
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but I also felt exhausted by it. But then the
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questions change, slowly, subtly, they get fewer, more guarded, more selective.
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The little kick questions fade away, the big cake questions
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become more private, and one day you realize they're not
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asking you anymore. They're figuring things out on their own.
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They're googling instead of asking. They're asking their friends, or
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their siblings or strangers on the internet. And you miss
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the questions because questions meant curiosity. Questions meant trust. Questions
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meant they believed you had answers. Questions meant they wanted
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to under stand the world and they wanted you to
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help them do it. I would give anything to answer
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forty three questions in one hour from my older kids. Again,
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So when your little one asks you why for the
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tenth time in a row, when they wake you up
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at six in the morning with a question about dinosaurs,
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when they interrupt your thoughts with wondering, answer them, even
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when you're tired, even when you don't know the answer,
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because one day the questions will stop and you'll wish
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they hadn't. Every kid has that habit, you know, the one.
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The tapping, the humming, the chewing too loudly, the bouncing
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their leg under the table, the pacing while they talk,
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the clicking their pen, the cracking their knuckles, the snipping
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instead of blowing their nose, the thing that makes you
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grit your teeth and say can you please step doing that,
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and they say sorry and try to stop, but five
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minutes later they're doing it again, because it's not intentional,
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it's just part of who they are in this moment.
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My daughter used to hum constantly while doing homework, while eating,
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while just sitting there existing, and it would drive me crazy.
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I'd say, do you realize you're humming? And she'd looks surprised?
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Was I every single time? It wasn't defiance, it was
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just her. Those habits feel annoying in the moment, they
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feel like nails on a chalkboard, But habits are personal.
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They're part of who your child is in the season
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of life. They're coping mechanism, comfort, self regulation, and when
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they grow out of them, you don't even notice at first,
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until one day you realize she doesn't hum anymore, she
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doesn't tap, he doesn't bounce, she doesn't paste, and somehow
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the silence feels heavier than the noise ever did, because
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those little kirks were uniquely there. I caught myself missing
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my daughter's humming. The other day, the house was quiet,
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I was doing some work and I realized I hadn't
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heard her hum in months, and my heart broke a
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little because the humming was part of her childhood and
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now it's gone. So when your kid does that annoying thing,
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when they tap and hum and bounce and fidget, try
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to see it differently. This is who they are right now,
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and one day you'll miss it. Let's talk about being needed.
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Being needed is exhausting. There's no sugarcoating that kids need
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you for everything. Food, comfort, guidance, reassurance, help fighting things
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that they are literally right there in front of them,
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permission validation, problem solving. They need help trying shoes, solving
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math problems, navigating emotions they don't understand yet. They need
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you to mediate fights, interpret instructions, explain the world. There
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are days when you feel touched out, need out, emotionally drained,
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days when you lock yourself in the bathroom just to
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have two minutes alone. Days when you think I just
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want a moment to myself, a moment where I'm not mom,
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where I'm just me. I remember feeling so overwhelmed by
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being needed all the time, I felt like I couldn't
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breathe without someone needing something from me. I felt guilty
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for wanting space, but I also felt suffocated by the
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constant demands. And then they don't need you like that anymore.
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They're capable, independent, confident. They tie their own shoes, they
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solve their own problems, they find their own things, they
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