July 21, 2026
The Beautiful Chaos Navigating Life with a Big Family_mixdown
What does it really take to raise a large family while helping your children grow into successful, compassionate adults? In this heartfelt episode of We Are the Hansons, Myia Hanson shares the joys, challenges, and life lessons that come with raising a big family. From creating lasting traditions and teaching responsibility to embracing the beautiful chaos of everyday life, this episode is packed with encouragement, practical parenting wisdom, and reminders that the little moments often become life's greatest memories. Plus, enjoy one of the Hansons' favorite quick family recipes and learn how to connect with us through our Facebook community, newsletter, and website.
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Have you ever walked into a grocery store pushing two
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shopping carts while one child is asking for cereal, another
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needs to use the bathroom, a teenager is texting asking
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if you can pick up something for them, and your
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husband is reminding you that you forgot dog food. If
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you have welcome, if you haven't welcome anyway, because today
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we're pulling back the curtain on what life really is
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like raising a big family. Not the picture perfect moments
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you see in photographs, not the carefully edited social media clips.
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We're talking about the real moments, the loud moments, the
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messy moments, the exhausting moments, the moments where dinner burns
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because someone scraped their knee, the moments where everyone is
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talking at once and somehow you still hear every single voice,
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the moments where you're wondering if you're doing enough. And
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then there are those moments that stop time, watching one
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of your grown children comfort a younger sibling without being asked,
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seeing your kids laugh together until they're crying, watching your
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children become amazing adults, realizing that everything you've poured into them,
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all the sleepless nights, all the sacrifices, all the prayers
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it mattered. Today we're talking about the beauty of building
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a big family, how to survive it, how to enjoy it,
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how to embrace the chaos, and why despite all the craziness,
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we wouldn't trade this life for anything. Hello everyone, and
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welcome back to We are the Hansens. I'm Maya, and
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as always, I am so incredibly thankful that you've choosen
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to spend a little bit of your day with us here.
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Whether you're driving to work, folding laundry, making dinner, cleaning
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the house, taking a walk, or maybe you're hiding in
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the pantry for five quiet minutes while your kids wander
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where you disappeared to. We're so glad you're here. This
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podcast has always been about real life, the highs, the lows,
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the laughter, the tears, the adventures, the lessons, and everything
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in between. If this is your first time listening, welcome
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to our little corner of the world around here. Family
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comes first, love comes first, Grace comes first. We simply
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share our experiences in hopes that maybe they'll encourage another
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family somewhere along the way. If today's episode encourages you,
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we'd love for you to join our growing community over
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on Facebook, just search we are the hands Ends and
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give us a follow. We share behind the scenes moments
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from our family's everyday life, updates on new podcast episodes, photos, recipes,
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and so much more. While you're there, you'll also find
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our newsletter, where we share even more family stories, encouragement, recipes,
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and exclusive content you won't find anywhere else. We'd absolutely
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love for you to subscribe and become part of our
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extended hands and family, And don't forget to visit us
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online at Werethehandsomfamily dot com, where you'll find all of
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our podcasts, updates, articles, exciting things we're working on. One
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of the things we're especially excited about is our upcoming merchandise.
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We've been working on fun items that families can enjoy together,
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including We Are the Hansons, apparel, coloring pages for kids,
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family budget planners, road trip activities, printibal, family games, and
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so much more. We can't wait to share all of
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it with you. And one more thing before we dive in.
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If you ever have a question, a topic you'd like
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us to cover, or simply want to share your family's story,
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we'd love to hear from you. Reach out through our
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website or our Facebook page. We read your messages, and
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we truly enjoy connecting with you. Your stories inspire us
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just as much as we hope ours inspire you. Now,
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let's talk about something that's become such a big part
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of who we are, life with a big family. People
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ask us all the time what it's like having such
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a big family. Sometimes they ask it with curiosity, sometimes
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with amazement, sometimes with complete disbelief, and every once in
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a while someone asks it with just a little bit
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of fear in their voice, like they're imagining absolute chaos.
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Now they're not completely wrong. There is chaos. There are
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days when someone can't find their shoes, someone forgot their backpack,
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someone needs a ride, someone has a doctor's appointment, someone
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has a school event, someone is hungery again. The washing
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machine never seems to stop. The dishwasher is basically a
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full time employee. The grocery bill can make your eyes water,
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and somehow, even after all these years, the refrigerator still
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looks empty twenty four hours after shopping. But here's what
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people don't always see. Behind every bit of that chaos
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is something incredibly beautiful. It's a home that's alive, a
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home filled with conversations, a home where there's almost always
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someone to laugh with, someone to cry with, someone to
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celebrate with, someone to lean on. That's one of the
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greatest gifts of a big family. No one has to
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do life alone. One of the biggest misconceptions people have
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is that raising a lot of children means your life
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is out of control. I'd actually argued the opposite. Having
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a big family teaches organization, It teaches teamwork, it teaches payations,
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it teaches responsibility because it has to. You simply can't
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do everything by yourself, and honestly, you shouldn't. One of
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the greatest lessons we've learned over the years is that
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a family isn't built around one person doing everything. It's
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built around everybody doing something. That's such an important difference.
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Even young children can contribute. Maybe it's setting the table,
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maybe it's feeding the dog, Maybe it's matching socks, maybe
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it's helping a younger sibling pick up toys. Those little
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responsibilities don't just help mom and dad. They build confidence.
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Children begin to understand that they're valuable members of the family,
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that they matter, that they're capable. As they grow older,
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those responsibilities naturally grow too. Older. Kids can help cook meals,
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teach younger siblings, mow the lawn, help with homework, run errands,
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not because they're replacing parents, but because they're becoming adults.
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An adulthood isn't something that magically appears on your eighteenth birthday.
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It's something you prepare for your entire childhood. That's something
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Jeremy and I have always tried to remember. Our job
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isn't simply to raise children. Our job is to raise adults.
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Adults who are kind, responsible, hardworking, compassionate people who leave
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every room a little better than they found it, because
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someday they're going to have families of their own. They're
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going to build homes of their own, and the values
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they learned inside your home will become the foundation of theirs.
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When Jeremy and I look back over the years, one
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of the biggest lessons we've learned is that successful family
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doesn't happen by accident. It happens one day at a time,
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one conversation at a time, one meal around the table
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at a time. People often ask us, how do you
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manage thirteen kids? The truth is, we don't do it alone.
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We do it together. That word together has become one
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of the most important words in our family. When the
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little ones see the older kids helping carry groceries into
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the house, they naturally want to help too. When they
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watch an older siblings stop what they're doing and comfort
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someone who's upset, they begin to understand what kindness looks like.
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Children learn far more from what they see than from
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what they are told. Of course, we teach them with words,
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but they're always watching our actions. They're watching how we
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treat one another when we're tired. They're watching how we
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respond when things don't go according to plan. They're watching
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how we apologize when we make mistakes, and yes, parents
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make mistakes. We certainly have. There have been days we've
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been exhausted, days when dinner didn't go as planned, days
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when the schedule felt him popped, days when we wish
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there were just a few more hours in the day.
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But we've also learned something beautiful. Your children don't need
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perfect parents. They need present parents. They need parents who
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are willing to admit when they're wrong, ask for forgiveness,
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and keep showing up every single day. One of the
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greatest gifts we've received from having such a large family
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is watching our children build genuine relationships with each other.
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Some of our kids are close in age, others have
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many years between them. Yet somehow, each relationship has become
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special in its own way. We've watched older siblings become mentors.
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We've watched younger siblings become their biggest fans. We've watched
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them celebrate birthdays, graduations, first jobs, engagements, new babies, and
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countless everyday victories together. Those are moments you simply can't
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put a price on. One thing. We've tried to prote
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over the years as family time life gets busy. Work
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demands attention, school activities fill calendars, Sports, appointments, errands, and
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responsibilities can easily consume every free minute. If we're not intentional,
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the calendar begins running the family instead of the family
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deciding how they want to spend their time. That's why
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we treasure the simple moments. Family dinners, movie nights, cookouts,
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road trips, playing games around the kitchen table, fishing together,
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stopping for ice cream after a long day. Those moments
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may seem ordinary while you're living there, but one day
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they'll become the memories your children tell their own kids about.
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As parents, it's easy to feel pressure to provide extravagant
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vacations or expensive gifts. But when we ask our own
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children about their favorite memories, they rarely mention something that
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costs a lot of money. They remember laughing until their
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stomach hurt, camping in the backyard, fireworks on the fourth
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of July, long drives with music playing, heat the Knights,
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family game nights that become so competitive everyone was laughing.
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Those are the moments that stay with them. That's encouraging
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because it reminds us that what children often want most
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is our time, our attention, our presence, not perfection. One
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of the biggest blessings of having older children is watching
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them become successful adults. Success looks different for everyone. For some,
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it's building a career they love. For others, it's becoming
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an amazing parent. For someone else, it's faithfully showing up
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every day and taking care of the people they love.
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We don't measure success only by a paycheck. We measure
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it by character. Are they kind? Do they work hard?
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Do they keep their word? They treat people with respect?
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Are they willing to help someone who needs it? Those
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are the things that matter most. Watching our children become
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people who genuinely care about others has been one of
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the greatest rewards of parenting. Does that mean everything has
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always been easy? Not at all. Every family faces challenges,
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Every child is different. What works for one child may
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not work for another. Some children need more encouragement, some
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need more structure, some need extra patience. Parenting isn't about
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treating every child exactly the same. It's about loving each
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child in the way they need to be loved, while
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maintaining the same values and expectations throughout the home. That's
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something we've continued to learn year after year. We also
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want parents listening today to know something important. Don't compare
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your family to someone else's highlight reel. Comparison steals joy.
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Every family has struggles, Every marriage has difficult seasons. Every
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parent has moments where they wonder if they're doing enough.
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Give yourself grace, celebrate progress, laugh at the messy moments,
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keep showing up, Keep loving your family well, because years
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from now, your children probably won't remember whether every room
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was perfectly clean. They'll remember whether home felt safe, whether
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they felt loved, whether someone believed in them, and that
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is what truly lasts. One of the things Jeremy and
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I talk about often is this our children are growing
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up much faster than we ever imagine they would when
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they're little. The days sometimes feel long. There are diapers
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to change, lunch is to make, laundry that seems to multiply, overnight,
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boys on the floor, school pickups, homework, bathtime, bedtime stories,
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and somehow, before you know it, those little kids who
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once reached up to hold your hand are standing taller
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than you are. They're getting their first jobs, learning to drive, graduating,
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getting married, and beginning families of their own. People tell
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you it goes by fast, but you don't truly understand
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that until you're living it. That's why we've learned to
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slow down and appreciate the ordinary days. Not every day
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has to be an adventure. Some of our favorite memories
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have happened right in our own living room. A spontaneous
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family game night, watching an old movie together, ordering pizza
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because nobody felt like cooking, sitting outside on a summer
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evening while the kids laughed and chased each other through
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the yard. Those moments don't seem extraordinary while they're happening,
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but years later they're often the memories everyone talks about.
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As parents, we have a ch we can become so
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focused on building a beautiful house that we forget to
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build a beautiful home. A house is made of walls,
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a home is made of love. A house is where
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people sleep. A home is where people feel accepted. A
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house can be spotless. A home can be messy and
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still be filled with peace. That's always been our goal,
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not perfection, peace, not a picture perfect family, a family
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that knows how to forgive. One thing we've worked hard
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to teach our children is that disagreements don't have to
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become divisions. Brothers and sisters argue, parents and children disagree.
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That's normal. The important part of learning how to work
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through these moments with respect. We've always encouraged our kids
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to apologize when they're wrong, forgive one another, and move forward.
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Holding onto anger only weighs you down. Forgiveness set you free.
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Another less and we've tried to pass along is the
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value of hard work. Hard work isn't just about earning
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a paycheck. It's about taking pride in what you do,
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whether it's cleaning your room, mowing the lawn, helping with dinner,
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studying for a test, or showing up for your first job.
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Giving your best effort matters. We've told our kids. Many
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times that character will open more doors than talent ever will.
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Talent might get someone's attention, character earns their trust. Watching
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our older children grow into responsible adults has been one
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of the greatest joys of our lives. Each one has
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their own personality, their own dreams, their own path, and
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that's exactly how it's supposed to be. We've never wanted
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our children to become copies of us. We've wanted them
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to become the very best version of themselves. Sometimes parents
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feel pressure to map out every detail of their child's future.
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