March 24, 2026

Maddie's 1st Job

Maddie's 1st Job
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Apple Podcasts podcast player icon Spotify podcast player icon

Maddie just started her very first job at 14—and it’s a big moment for the whole family. In this episode of We Are the Hansons, we talk about what it really means for kids to start working, the lessons that come with earning that first paycheck, and how parents can balance responsibility without taking away childhood. From her first shifts at Culver’s to the bigger life lessons behind it all, this is a story every family can relate to.

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You know, there are these moments in parenting that absolutely

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nobody warns you about, not in the books, not in

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the mommy blogs, not even in the well meaning advice

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from people who have already been through it. They're not

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the big obvious milestones. They're not the ones that take

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one hundred photos of and put it in a scrap

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book with stickers and captions. They're the quiet ones, the

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sneaky ones, the ones that catch you completely off guard

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while you're standing in the middle of your kitchen trying

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to remember if you already added salt to the pasta.

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It's a Tuesday afternoon, or maybe it was a Thursday. Honestly,

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when you have as many kids as we do, the

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days of the week start plunding together somewhere around mid

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October and they don't really separate again tell Christmas. But

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there she was, Maddie, standing in the hallway, tucking her

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shirt in, fixing her hair in that mirror by the

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front door, the one that has a little crack in

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the corner that Jeremy has been meaning to replace for

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approximately a year. And she looks up at me and

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she says, Okay, Mom, I'm heading to work, and I

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just stood there for a second because in my head

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I still have that very vivid memory of a tiny

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little girl with pigtails who used to drag her stuffed

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animal absolutely everywhere she went, and I mean everywhere. That

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stuffed animal went to the grocery store, it went to

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birthday parties, it went to Sunday dinners at Grandma's house,

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it went places that stuffed animals really have no business going.

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And now the same little person is standing in front

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of me in a work uniform, telling me she's heading

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to her job per job at fourteen years old. I

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cannot fully explain what that feels like as a mom,

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but I'm going to try, because I think a lot

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of you out there know exactly what I'm talking about,

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and I think this episode is going to hit home

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for a lot of families. Welcome to We Are the Hansens. Hey, hey, hey,

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welcome back everybody you're listening to We Are the Hansens,

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the podcast where we pull back the curtain on what

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real family looks like. Not the highlight real version, not

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the perfectly created, everybody smiling and coordinating outfits version, the

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real version, the loud, messy, beautiful, chaotic. Can someone please

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find the remote version of family life. Hi, Maya, and

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if you're new here, let me just give you the

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quick version of who we are. We are a big family,

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like genuinely big. We have kids of various ages, grandkids

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coming up, cousins always around, and our house is basically

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a revolving door of people, food, noise, and love. It

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is never ever quiet, and on the rare occasions when

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it actually is quiet, my first instinct is to assume

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something is going very wrong somewhere. We started this podcast

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because we believe in the power of sharing real stories,

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real parenting wins, real parenting struggles, real conversations about the

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things that matter most. And today, the thing that is

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very much at the top of my mind, sitting at

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the very front of my heart is our girl, Mattie.

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Maddie just started her first job. She is fourteen years

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old and she is working at Callvers and y'all, she

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is absolutely crushing it. But this episode is bigger than

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just celebrating Mattie's new job, which for the record, we

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absolutely are doing because she has worked hard and she

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deserves all the celebrating. This episode is about something every

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parent of a teenager is eventually going to wrestle with.

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How do you teach your kids to work hard without

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accidentally robbing them of their childhood? Where is the line

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between responsibility and overscheduling? And why does watching your kids

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take on a real job feel like one of the

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most pride filled and heartbreaking things at the same time.

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Pour your coffee, settle in. Let's talk about all of it.

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So let me take you back a little bit, because

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context matters, and I think this story is better when

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you understand where it came from. Mattie has always been

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someone who notices things. I don't know exactly how else

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to describe it. Some kids are some kids are doers.

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Some kids are the ones who immediately take charge of

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every situation. Maddie is an observer. She watches how things work.

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She pays attention to details that most people walk right past,

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and for as long as I can remember, he has

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always wanted to understand the purpose behind it. When she

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was younger, she used to ask questions like, but why

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do we do it that way about everything? Why do

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we set the table like this? Why do we do

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all that? Why do we go to that grocery store

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and not the other one? Why does that sign say

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what it says. She wasn't being difficult. She was genuinely

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curious about how the world works. And I think that

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curiosity is exactly what led her to this moment, because

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at some point this past year, Mattie started noticing something.

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She started noticing that there are things she wants, things

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she'd like to have, experiences she'd like to be part of.

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And she made a very Maddy kind of observation, which

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is that those things require money, and money requires work,

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and therefore she needed to find a way to work.

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I'm not going to pretend that the conversation happened in

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one neat, tidy, sit down discussion at the kitchen table.

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That is not how anything works in our house. It

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happened in pieces, little bits here and there. A comment

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while we were driving somewhere, a question she asked Jeremy

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one evening when they were watching something on TV, A

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conversation she had with one of her older siblings that

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eventually made its way back to us. But the through

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line of it all was the same. Maddie wanted to work,

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She wanted her own money, and she wanted to learn

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what it felt like to earn something entirely on her own.

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When she told us she was thinking about applying at Callver's,

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Jeremy and I talked about it. Not a long, complicated conversation,

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but a real one, because fourteen is young. That is

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not something we take lightly, and there are real questions

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to answer when your teenager wants to start working. How

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many hours are we talking about, How does this fit

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around school, What happens when she has a test or

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a project or something that has to take priority. What

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happens on the days when work and family life conflict.

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We talk through all of it, and at the end

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of that conversation we decided to support her, not because

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we needed her to work, not because we were pushing

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her out of the nest the head of schedule, but

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because Maddie had made a genuine, thoughtful decision for herself,

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and our job as her parents is to support that.

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So she applied and she got the job. I want

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to talk about the first day because the first day

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was something. Maddie had her uniform ready the night before.

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She laid it all out on her chair the way

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she does when she's nervous about something. Her shirt, her pants,

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her non slip shoes, everything in order exactly where she

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needed it to be everything. Now. I have watched this

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kid take tests, perform in things at school, try out

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for things, show up to events where she didn't know anybody.

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I've seen her nervous before, but this kind of nervous

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was different. This wasn't the nervous you feel before something

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you've done a hundred times. This was the nervous you

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feel standing at the edge of something completely new, something

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that is entirely real, with real steaks and real people

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and real consequences if you mess up. She came into

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the kitchen now day and she had this look on

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her face that I can only describe as focused determination

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with a side of mild tear, which honestly is probably

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exactly the right way to feel on your first day

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at your first real job. She asked me about a

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dozen small questions, not big ones, just about the nature

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of work, Small practical, logistical questions. What if I don't

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remember something, what if I mess up in order? What

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if I forget where something is? What if I'm too slow?

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What what if? And I just kept telling her the

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same thing. You're going to be fine. You're going to

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make mistakes, and that is completely okay because it's your

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first day, and you're not supposed to be perfect. You

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are supposed to show up, try your best, pay attention,

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and learn. That's it. That is the whole job on

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day one. She nodded, she took a breath, she grabbed

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her bag, and she walked out that door. And I

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just stood there in the kitchen for a minute after

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the door closed. I wasn't sad, exactly, but I wasn't

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not sad either. It was one of those complicated parent

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emotions that doesn't have a clean, simple name. Cried and

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a little bit of grief all mixed together because you're

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so happy for them, You are so genuinely proud of

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who they are becoming. But somewhere underneath all of that

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happiness is this quiet, bittersweet awareness that they are becoming

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it without you. They are walking into a room you

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can't walk into for them, and that's exactly how it

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should be, but it still feels like something. I want

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to take a minute here to be honest about something,

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because I know not everybody is going to agree with

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me on this, and that is completely okay. In our family,

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we believe in kids working, not over working, not sacrificing

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childhood on the altar of responsibility, but working contributing, understanding

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what effort actually costs and what it actually built. I

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grew up in a family where work was just part

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of life. It wasn't optional, and it wasn't presented as

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a punishment either. It was just what you did. You

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worked because working meant something. You worked because there was

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always something that needed doing and you were capable of

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doing it, and so you did it. That was the equation.

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And I think somewhere along the way, in our culture's

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very well meaning effort to protect children from hardship, we

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started accidentally protecting them from the growth too. We started

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confusing struggle with suffering. We started assuming that if something

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is hard, it must be bad for kids. And I

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just don't believe that hard things teach hard things. Struggle

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builds character in ways that comfort simply cannot. When a

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teenager takes a real job and shows up for a

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real shift and works alongside real adults for depending on

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them to do their part, something happens inside of them.

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Something shifts. They start seeing themselves differently, not as kids

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waiting to become something, but as people who are already

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capable of contributing to the world around them, and that

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shift matters. That shift is worth something. Now, with that said,

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I also want to be very clear about something because

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I do not want to be misunderstood. Kids need to

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be kids, full stop. There is no amount of work ethic,

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no paycheck, no lesson about the value of money. That is,

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we're treading away a childhood. For Maddie is fourteen. She

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needs time for school, she needs time for friends. She

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needs lazy Saturday mornings and movie nights and the kind

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of long, wandering conversations with her siblings that don't have

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to be any particular destination. She needs room to be

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young and silly and irresponsible in the small, normal ways

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that teenagers are supposed to be. Balance is everything, and

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in our house we are very intentional about protecting that balance.

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Let me talk about Culver's for a minute, because I

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think it matters where she's working, not just that she's working.

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Culver's is the kind of place where the culture is

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right from the very beginning. It's clean, organized, people are

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trained to treat customers with genuine respect, not just a

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scripted pleasantness. It is a place that takes its food

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seriously and takes its staff seriously, and for a fourteen

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year old's first job experience, that environment makes a real difference.

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And what I've watched happen to Maddie over the last

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several weeks is that she is learning things that I

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genuinely could not have taught her at home, not because

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I don't know them, but because some lessons only land

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when they come from real world experience. They do not

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land the same way when Mom says them at the

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dinner table. She is learning to read a situation quickly.

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In a very busy restaurant, things move fast. You have

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to be able to assess what's happening around you, figure

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out where you're most needed, and move accordingly. That is

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a skill that is a real, usable, valuable skill that

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she is developing in real time. She is learning how

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to communicate with people who are older than her, adults

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who have expectations of her as a coworker, not as

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a kid. There is a specific kind of confidence that

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comes from being treated like a capable person by people

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who have no reason to be patient with you just

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because you're young. It forces you to rise to the

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level they're asking for. She is learning how to push

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through There are days when you are tired. There are

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days when your feet hurt and you've been on them

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for hours, and there are still customers to serve, and

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there is still work to be done, and you do

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it anyway because that is what you said you would do,

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that is what the job requires. That is what showing

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up actually means. And she is doing it. She is

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showing up, is putting in the work. She is earning

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the respect of the people around her. We get little

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updates here and there, little glimpses into how things are going,

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and every single one of them makes us proud. Our

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girl is doing great. One of my absolute favorite things

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about this whole season of life with Maddie is watching

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her come home after her shift. There is a specific

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kind of tired that comes from physical work. It is

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different from the tired that comes from sitting through a

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long school day, or the tired that comes from being

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overstimulated or stressed. It is a clean tire, a satisfied tired.

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Your body is genuinely worn out from having genuinely done something,

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and there is a certain quiet satisfaction that lives inside

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that feeling. Maddie walks in after her shift and she

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has that tired. She has something else too. She has

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this quiet pride that she carries with her that I

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don't think she even knows is visible, but it is

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absolutely She'll come in and sit down and she'll start

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talking about her day, not in a big dramatic way,

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just casually, the way you talk about something that is

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becoming a normal part of your life. She'll mention something

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that happened, something she figured out, a moment where she

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felt like she finally got the rhythm of something she'd

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been struggling with before. And every time I listen to

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one of those stories, I'm struck by something. My daughter

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is building herself right in front of my eyes. Not

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in the ways I can plan for, or orchestrate or guide.

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She is building herself through the ordinary, repetitive, unglamorous work

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of showing up and doing her job. And it is

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one of the most beautiful things I have ever had

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the privilege of watching. Okay, I want to talk about

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the first paycheck, because the first paycheck is a whole thing.

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It truly is. I remember my first paycheck. I remember

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looking at my name on that and feeling this very

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specific sensation that I can only describe as realness. This

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is real. This is actual money that exists in the

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actual world. Because I showed up and I did an

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actual job. Nobody gave this to me. Nobody felt sorry

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for me and handed it over. I worked for this.

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This is mine. That feeling is different from any other

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feeling in the world. It is not the feeling you

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get when someone gives you money as a gift, as

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wonderful as that is. It is not the feeling you

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give from an allowance. It is something entirely in its own.

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It is the feeling of having exchanged your time, your effort,

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your energy for something tangible and understanding, maybe for the

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first time, what that trade really means. When Maddie gets

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that first paycheck in her hands and looks at that number,

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she is going to understand something she couldn't have understood before.

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Every dollar on that check represents a real chunk of

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her time, her life, her energy. She will be able

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to look at something in a store and think, that

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costs me three hours of work? Is it worth three hours,

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is it worth six? Is it worth the whole check?

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That is not a thought most kids have, but it

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is a thought that changes everything once you start having it.

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We talk about money in our house, openly, honestly, without

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the shame or secrecy that a lot of families attached

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financial conversations. We talk about what things cost, We talk

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about the difference between needs and once. We talk about

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saving and spending, and why the decisions you make with

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money when you're young create the patterns you live with

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when you're older. But there is a limit to how

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much those conversations can do when they're theatrical. They become

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real when there's actual money involved, when it's your money,

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when you are the one who worked for it, then

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the lesson has weight. I think it's worth stepping back

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and talking about the bigger picture here, the family culture

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00:20:30.440 --> 00:20:33.920
that Maddie is growing up inside of, because I don't

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think you can understand why we parent the way we

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00:20:37.599 --> 00:20:41.759
parent without understanding where we come from. Jeremy and I

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have been building things our whole lives, not just businesses,

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though there have been those two. We have been building

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a family culture, a set of values that we want

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our kids to carry with them when they leave this house,

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and work ethic is absolutely at the center of that culture.

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Jeremy has run a business he understands in a bone

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00:21:07.119 --> 00:21:10.400
deep way what it means to build something from nothing

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what it costs in terms of time and energy and

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sacrifice and commitment. And he has never, not once tried

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to hide that reality from our kids. He has always

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00:21:23.160 --> 00:21:26.799
been transparent about the fact that good things require effort,

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00:21:27.480 --> 00:21:32.519
that nothing worthwhile arrives without some version of struggle, that

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00:21:32.680 --> 00:21:36.279
the discomfort of hard work is not something to run from,

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but something to walk straight into with your head up.

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And I grew up in a family where you worked,

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where you contributed, where contribution was expected, where nobody sat

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00:21:47.400 --> 00:21:51.240
out because they didn't feel like participating. You showed up,

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You did your part, and you understood that the family

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00:21:55.079 --> 00:21:59.200
functioned because everybody carried their share. Our kids have grown

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00:21:59.279 --> 00:22:02.920
up watching us work. They've watched us build things, and

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00:22:02.960 --> 00:22:06.960
fail at things and rebuild things. They've watched us disagree

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and figure it out. They've watched us exhausted and keep

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going anyway. And I believe in my heart that all

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of that watching has taught them more than any conversation

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00:22:19.039 --> 00:22:23.720
we could have deliberately designed to teach them something. Maddie

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00:22:23.759 --> 00:22:27.079
is not starting her first job in a vacuum. She

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is starting it inside of a family story that has

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always had work as one of its central chapters, and

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she knows that she feels that, and I think it

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makes her proud. I want to get real for a second,

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because I think it would be dishonest to talk about

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00:22:45.279 --> 00:22:50.480
this topic without addressing something. There is guilt. Every parent

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00:22:50.519 --> 00:22:55.359
who has ever encouraged their child toward responsibility or independence,

337
00:22:55.559 --> 00:22:58.799
or growing up in any way has felt this guilt,

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00:23:00.240 --> 00:23:04.160
something like am I pushing her too fast? Is she

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missing out on something she can never get back? Is

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fourteen too young? Should I have let her just be

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a kid for a few more years? I feel that

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I genuinely do, and I don't have a perfect answer.

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I don't think any parent does. I think we all

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just do our best to navigate the incredibly complicated task

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of preparing our kids for a world we cannot fully predict,

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while also protecting the parts of their childhood that are irreplaceable.

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What I keep coming back to is this, Mattie chose.

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This was not something we pushed her into. She came

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to us with the idea, she did the research, she

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submitted the application. She wanted this, and our job in

351
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that moment was not to talk her out of something

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she decided She wanted, but to support her doing it

353
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fully and safely. There is a difference between a parent

354
00:24:04.039 --> 00:24:08.400
who pushes their kid into early responsibility because it's convenient

355
00:24:08.440 --> 00:24:12.599
for the parent, and a parent who supports their kid

356
00:24:13.000 --> 00:24:16.440
in taking a step they've asked to take. The first

357
00:24:16.480 --> 00:24:20.640
one is something I'm always vigilant about avoiding. The second

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00:24:20.720 --> 00:24:23.599
one is what I hope I'm doing and for what

359
00:24:23.720 --> 00:24:27.519
it's worth. Watching Maddie in these past few weeks, I

360
00:24:27.640 --> 00:24:30.960
haven't seen a kid who seems like she's missing out

361
00:24:31.039 --> 00:24:34.079
on her childhood. I have seen a kid who is

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00:24:34.240 --> 00:24:38.240
standing a little taller than she has before, who looks

363
00:24:38.279 --> 00:24:42.039
at herself a little differently than she did before, who

364
00:24:42.400 --> 00:24:45.799
has something to talk about at dinner that is entirely

365
00:24:45.960 --> 00:24:49.559
hers that nobody else in the family can claim that

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belongs completely to her. That looks like growth to me,

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and I'm choosing to trust it. Can we talk about

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00:24:58.759 --> 00:25:02.039
the rest of the family for minute? Because I loved

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00:25:02.119 --> 00:25:06.079
this part of the story. When Mattie told her siblings

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00:25:06.079 --> 00:25:09.759
she got the job, the reaction was everything you would

371
00:25:09.839 --> 00:25:12.599
expect from a house full of people who love each

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other loudly and enthusiastically. There was cheering, There were questions.

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There were at least three different people asking immediately whether

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00:25:24.039 --> 00:25:26.519
this meant we were going to Cllvers to visit her.

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00:25:27.599 --> 00:25:32.559
The answer for the record is yes, obviously, yes, we

376
00:25:32.599 --> 00:25:36.400
have already been and we will absolutely be going again

377
00:25:37.039 --> 00:25:42.960
multiple times, because one, we love Culvers. Their butterburgers are

378
00:25:43.119 --> 00:25:47.599
genuinely in a category of their own, and they're frozen custard.

379
00:25:48.240 --> 00:25:52.039
Come on, there is no universe in which we are

380
00:25:52.079 --> 00:25:55.359
going to pass up an opportunity to support Mattie on

381
00:25:55.519 --> 00:26:00.359
her home turf and also enjoy some excellent frozen custom.

382
00:26:00.640 --> 00:26:04.000
But beyond the food, something really sweet has happened in

383
00:26:04.039 --> 00:26:08.599
our family around this. Her siblings have become her unofficial

384
00:26:08.680 --> 00:26:13.000
cheering section. They ask her how her shift went. They

385
00:26:13.039 --> 00:26:16.960
want to hear the stories. When she came home tired

386
00:26:17.160 --> 00:26:21.119
after a particularly busy shift, a couple of the younger

387
00:26:21.200 --> 00:26:23.759
kids had already made her a snack and left it

388
00:26:23.799 --> 00:26:27.359
on the counter without being asked. That's just who we

389
00:26:27.400 --> 00:26:30.279
are as a family. You show up for each other

390
00:26:30.640 --> 00:26:35.519
every time, and the conversations it sparked among the kids

391
00:26:35.960 --> 00:26:39.960
have been really wonderful. The older ones who have already

392
00:26:40.000 --> 00:26:43.559
had jobs and have been sharing their own first day stories,

393
00:26:43.720 --> 00:26:49.079
their own nervous moments, their own memories of that first paycheck,

394
00:26:49.720 --> 00:26:52.359
and the younger ones who haven't gotten there yet are

395
00:26:52.440 --> 00:26:56.279
watching all of it with eyes wide open, starting to

396
00:26:56.440 --> 00:26:59.680
form their own ideas about what it's going to feel

397
00:26:59.680 --> 00:27:02.799
like when they have their turn. This is how family

398
00:27:02.839 --> 00:27:07.559
culture gets passed down, not through lectures, through living, through

399
00:27:07.640 --> 00:27:10.960
watching the people you love navigate real things and learning

400
00:27:10.960 --> 00:27:13.160
from what you see. I want to spend a few

401
00:27:13.200 --> 00:27:16.960
minutes on something I think gets lost in conversation about

402
00:27:17.039 --> 00:27:20.400
kids and work and responsibility, and that is a question

403
00:27:20.480 --> 00:27:25.119
of what childhood is actually for. I think we sometimes

404
00:27:25.119 --> 00:27:28.440
talk about childhood as if it's just a waiting room,

405
00:27:28.759 --> 00:27:31.599
as if the whole point of being young is to

406
00:27:31.640 --> 00:27:34.559
get to the part where you're old enough to handle

407
00:27:34.640 --> 00:27:37.880
real things. And I think that framing does a real

408
00:27:38.119 --> 00:27:42.880
disservice to what childhood actually is. Childhood is not a

409
00:27:42.920 --> 00:27:46.000
waiting room. It is a whole season of life that

410
00:27:46.119 --> 00:27:51.839
has its own value, its own purpose, its own irreplaceable gifts.

411
00:27:52.119 --> 00:27:55.880
The friendships formed in childhood are different from any friendship

412
00:27:56.039 --> 00:28:00.359
you'll ever form after the way you experience wonder and

413
00:28:00.359 --> 00:28:05.680
curiosity and pure, uncomplicated joy when you're young is something

414
00:28:06.079 --> 00:28:10.480
that softens and quiets as you get older, and not

415
00:28:10.680 --> 00:28:13.680
all of it comes back. So when I say I

416
00:28:13.720 --> 00:28:16.839
believe in kids working, I do not mean I believe

417
00:28:16.880 --> 00:28:19.960
in kids trading their childhood for a paycheck. I mean

418
00:28:20.440 --> 00:28:23.920
I believe in kids adding work to the full life

419
00:28:24.079 --> 00:28:28.000
they are already living, not replacing anything adding to it.

420
00:28:28.519 --> 00:28:32.079
Maddie still has all the rest. She still has her

421
00:28:32.119 --> 00:28:35.640
friends and her family, and her lazy days and her

422
00:28:35.680 --> 00:28:39.599
inside jokes and her late night watching things she shouldn't

423
00:28:39.640 --> 00:28:42.839
probably be staying up that late to watch. None of

424
00:28:42.880 --> 00:28:45.920
that has gone anywhere. She has added one more thing

425
00:28:46.240 --> 00:28:49.680
to who she is. She is now also someone who works,

426
00:28:49.880 --> 00:28:53.440
someone who earns, someone who knows what it feels like

427
00:28:53.519 --> 00:28:56.720
to walk into a room of adults and hold her own.

428
00:28:57.119 --> 00:29:01.279
That addition makes her fuller, not smaller. I want to

429
00:29:01.319 --> 00:29:04.319
close the main body of this episode by talking about

430
00:29:04.359 --> 00:29:07.400
what I hope Maddie takes with her from this season,

431
00:29:07.720 --> 00:29:10.920
not just from the job itself, but from all of it,

432
00:29:11.240 --> 00:29:14.559
from the decisions she made, the courage it took her

433
00:29:14.799 --> 00:29:17.839
to walk in on that first day, the work she

434
00:29:17.960 --> 00:29:21.599
put in. Since I hope she carries the knowledge that

435
00:29:22.079 --> 00:29:25.359
she is capable that she can show up somewhere new,

436
00:29:25.759 --> 00:29:30.640
somewhere unfamiliar, where nobody is obligated to be easy on her,

437
00:29:30.799 --> 00:29:33.960
just because she's young and she can handle it. That

438
00:29:34.119 --> 00:29:37.240
is not a small thing. There are adults who have

439
00:29:37.480 --> 00:29:41.039
not yet learned that about themselves. I hope she carries

440
00:29:41.119 --> 00:29:44.599
the respect for money that comes from earning it yourself,

441
00:29:45.160 --> 00:29:50.200
not fear, but respect, understanding that every dollar has a

442
00:29:50.319 --> 00:29:54.720
real cost attached to it, and making choices accordingly. I

443
00:29:54.759 --> 00:29:57.880
hope she carries that habit of showing up. This might

444
00:29:57.920 --> 00:30:01.519
be the most important one up even when you're tired,

445
00:30:01.880 --> 00:30:05.559
even when you'd rather be somewhere else, even when the

446
00:30:05.680 --> 00:30:09.039
day is hard. There is something built into a person

447
00:30:09.079 --> 00:30:13.480
who learns early that showing up is non negotiable, that

448
00:30:13.640 --> 00:30:17.519
responsibility is one of the most valuable things you can

449
00:30:17.599 --> 00:30:23.200
offer anyone in any relationship, professional or personal. And I

450
00:30:23.240 --> 00:30:26.960
hope she carries the memory of this time as something

451
00:30:27.079 --> 00:30:33.079
she chose, something she initiated, something she was entirely, completely,

452
00:30:33.279 --> 00:30:38.200
one hundred percent hers. Because when you are fourteen and

453
00:30:38.319 --> 00:30:41.839
you set a goal for yourself and you walk toward it,

454
00:30:42.480 --> 00:30:45.920
and you achieve it, and you do it well enough

455
00:30:46.000 --> 00:30:50.559
that people around. You notice you learn something about yourself

456
00:30:50.640 --> 00:30:55.079
that stays with you for decades. You learn that you

457
00:30:55.119 --> 00:31:00.200
are someone who can make things happen, and that, more

458
00:31:00.240 --> 00:31:04.079
than any paycheck, more than any skill she picks up

459
00:31:04.119 --> 00:31:07.559
behind the counter, is the thing I most want my

460
00:31:07.680 --> 00:31:12.039
daughter to carry forward from all of us. Okay, before

461
00:31:12.079 --> 00:31:16.359
we wrap up today's episode, you know we always love

462
00:31:16.440 --> 00:31:20.000
to share something from the Hands and Family Kitchen, and

463
00:31:20.039 --> 00:31:23.640
today's recipe is one of my personal favorites for exactly

464
00:31:23.799 --> 00:31:27.279
this kind of season, when you've got a teenager coming

465
00:31:27.319 --> 00:31:30.880
home from work, tired and hungry, when schedules are all

466
00:31:30.920 --> 00:31:34.960
over the place, when you want something warm and sweet

467
00:31:35.400 --> 00:31:39.119
without turning the whole kitchen upside down, this is the one.

468
00:31:39.680 --> 00:31:43.319
This is our Hands and Family quick chocolate mugcake. It

469
00:31:43.359 --> 00:31:46.599
takes about five minutes from start to finish, It requires

470
00:31:46.640 --> 00:31:49.599
almost nothing in the way of equipment, and it tastes

471
00:31:49.680 --> 00:31:53.039
like a warm little hug in a cup. Here's what

472
00:31:53.119 --> 00:31:56.880
you need, and I promise you have all of this

473
00:31:57.279 --> 00:32:00.880
in your pantry right now. Four tables spoons of flour,

474
00:32:01.880 --> 00:32:06.839
four tablespoons of sugar, two tablespoons of coco powder, one egg,

475
00:32:07.480 --> 00:32:11.920
three tablespoons of milk, three tablespoons of vegetable oil, a

476
00:32:11.960 --> 00:32:16.119
good splash of vanilla extract, and a handful of chocolate chips.

477
00:32:16.640 --> 00:32:20.079
Because life is too short to leave out the chocolate chips.

478
00:32:20.319 --> 00:32:24.319
Here's what you do. Take a microwave safe mug, a

479
00:32:24.400 --> 00:32:27.799
big one because this thing rises when it cooks and

480
00:32:27.880 --> 00:32:31.400
you don't want a chocolate explosion in your microwave. Ask

481
00:32:31.440 --> 00:32:36.519
me how I know. Mix your dry ingredients first, flour, sugar,

482
00:32:36.880 --> 00:32:41.119
cocoa powder. Stir them together right in the mug. Then

483
00:32:41.559 --> 00:32:44.279
crack your egg in there and stir it really well,

484
00:32:44.880 --> 00:32:48.640
getting all the way down to the bottom. Then pour

485
00:32:48.720 --> 00:32:53.839
in your milk, your oil, and your vanilla. Stir everything

486
00:32:53.920 --> 00:32:59.200
until it's smooth and combined. Then fold in those chocolate chips.

487
00:32:59.720 --> 00:33:04.200
Hop in the microwave for about a minute and thirty seconds. Now,

488
00:33:04.599 --> 00:33:08.759
every microwave is a little different, so start there and

489
00:33:08.839 --> 00:33:11.680
see where you're at. You want it to be set

490
00:33:11.720 --> 00:33:15.839
in the center but still slightly soft on top. If

491
00:33:15.880 --> 00:33:19.880
it needs another fifteen or twenty seconds, go for it,

492
00:33:19.920 --> 00:33:23.039
but don't overdo it or it gets a little rubbery.

493
00:33:23.559 --> 00:33:26.079
Let it cool for just a minute and then eat

494
00:33:26.119 --> 00:33:29.359
it right out of the mug with a spoon. At

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00:33:29.400 --> 00:33:32.440
the kitchen counter if that's where you end up, which

496
00:33:32.480 --> 00:33:35.400
in our house is where half of us seem to

497
00:33:35.480 --> 00:33:40.400
end up most evenings. Anyway, It's warm, it's chocolatey, it's

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00:33:40.559 --> 00:33:45.000
deeply satisfying, and it is absolutely perfect for the end

499
00:33:45.039 --> 00:33:48.000
of a long day, whether that day was spent in

500
00:33:48.119 --> 00:33:51.799
school or at work or running around doing all the

501
00:33:51.839 --> 00:33:55.079
things that big families spend their days doing. We love

502
00:33:55.160 --> 00:33:58.160
this one. I hope your family loves it too. I

503
00:33:58.200 --> 00:34:01.119
have been thinking in the day since I decided to

504
00:34:01.160 --> 00:34:05.720
record this episode about what I most want to say

505
00:34:05.920 --> 00:34:10.000
about all of this, about Maddie and her job, and

506
00:34:10.480 --> 00:34:15.039
childhood and work and the strange, tender grief and joy

507
00:34:15.119 --> 00:34:18.400
of watching your kids grow up. And what I keep

508
00:34:18.440 --> 00:34:23.079
coming back to is this, every milestone your child hits

509
00:34:23.400 --> 00:34:27.280
is really two things at once. It is a beginning

510
00:34:27.599 --> 00:34:30.760
and an ending. It is to start to something new

511
00:34:31.320 --> 00:34:35.599
and the quiet clothes of something that was. And the

512
00:34:35.679 --> 00:34:38.559
job of parenting is to hold both of those things

513
00:34:38.639 --> 00:34:42.079
at the same time without crushing either one in your grip.

514
00:34:42.760 --> 00:34:45.679
We cheered when Mattie got the job. We will cheer

515
00:34:45.760 --> 00:34:49.320
when she nails her first difficult shift. We will cheer

516
00:34:49.440 --> 00:34:53.360
at the first paycheck and the first proud story she

517
00:34:53.480 --> 00:34:57.039
brings home from behind that counter. And at the same time,

518
00:34:57.480 --> 00:34:59.719
there is a part of me that will always be

519
00:34:59.760 --> 00:35:02.559
a little bit tender about the fact that she doesn't

520
00:35:02.639 --> 00:35:05.920
need me to walk through those doors with her. She

521
00:35:06.000 --> 00:35:10.320
walks through them herself. She always has, she always will,

522
00:35:10.800 --> 00:35:14.039
and that is exactly as it should be. To every

523
00:35:14.119 --> 00:35:17.599
parent listening who has a teenager on the edge of

524
00:35:17.639 --> 00:35:22.280
some version of this moment, whether it's their first job

525
00:35:22.480 --> 00:35:25.960
or their first independent step of any kind, I want

526
00:35:25.960 --> 00:35:29.000
you to hear me on this. Your instinct to protect

527
00:35:29.039 --> 00:35:32.840
them is good. Your instinct to cheer for them is

528
00:35:32.960 --> 00:35:37.039
also good. You do not have to choose one or

529
00:35:37.079 --> 00:35:39.840
the other. You can hold both. You can be the

530
00:35:40.000 --> 00:35:43.679
soft place they land when it gets hard and the

531
00:35:43.719 --> 00:35:47.320
loudest voice in the room when they succeed. That is

532
00:35:47.440 --> 00:35:51.639
the whole job. To Maddie, if you ever listen to this,

533
00:35:52.159 --> 00:35:55.800
which I sincerely hope you do, because Mom put a

534
00:35:55.800 --> 00:35:58.960
lot of heart into this episode, we are so proud

535
00:35:58.960 --> 00:36:02.199
of you just for getting the job, not just for

536
00:36:02.320 --> 00:36:05.360
showing up and doing it well, but for being brave

537
00:36:05.480 --> 00:36:08.840
enough to want something and go after it, for knowing

538
00:36:09.039 --> 00:36:12.280
your own mind, for walking out that door in your

539
00:36:12.320 --> 00:36:15.400
work shirt, with your hair tied back and your chin

540
00:36:15.480 --> 00:36:18.440
up and your whole future ahead of it. You are

541
00:36:18.480 --> 00:36:21.599
going to do incredible things, baby girl, and we will

542
00:36:21.599 --> 00:36:24.840
be right here hearing every step of the way. Thanks

543
00:36:24.880 --> 00:36:27.719
so much for joining us today on We Are the Hands.

544
00:36:27.800 --> 00:36:30.679
And if this episode hit close to home for you,

545
00:36:31.480 --> 00:36:34.760
if you have a kid who just started their first job,

546
00:36:35.000 --> 00:36:38.440
or if you remember what your own first job felt like,

547
00:36:39.039 --> 00:36:42.760
we would absolutely love to hear about it. Find us

548
00:36:42.800 --> 00:36:46.920
on Facebook and reach out. Tell us your story, because

549
00:36:46.920 --> 00:36:49.760
the whole reason we do this is to remind each

550
00:36:49.760 --> 00:36:52.639
other that we are not doing any of this alone.

551
00:36:53.320 --> 00:36:56.519
If today's episode meant something to you, please share it.

552
00:36:57.000 --> 00:36:59.519
Share it with the mom in your life who is

553
00:36:59.559 --> 00:37:02.039
in the middle of watching her kid grow up. Share

554
00:37:02.039 --> 00:37:04.679
it with the dad who is trying to figure out

555
00:37:04.800 --> 00:37:08.920
how to balance responsibility and freedom. Share it with anybody

556
00:37:08.960 --> 00:37:11.840
who understands that parenting is one of the hardest and

557
00:37:11.920 --> 00:37:16.639
most beautiful jobs that exist, and that sometimes you just

558
00:37:16.719 --> 00:37:20.360
need to hear that somebody else gets Until next time,

559
00:37:20.800 --> 00:37:23.880
From all of us to all of you, thank you

560
00:37:23.920 --> 00:37:26.840
for being here. Thank you for letting our family into

561
00:37:26.880 --> 00:37:30.079
your ears and your hearts and your kitchen while you

562
00:37:30.159 --> 00:37:33.239
make dinner in your car, while you drive the kids

563
00:37:33.239 --> 00:37:36.679
to practice. We are the Hansens, and we are so

564
00:37:36.840 --> 00:37:37.719
glad you're here.