April 28, 2026

Gavin's 19th Birthday

Gavin's 19th Birthday
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heartfelt and fun celebration episode of We Are the Hansons as the family comes together to celebrate Gavin’s 19th birthday surrounded by love, laughter, and unforgettable moments with family and friends.

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There's a moment right before the house fills up, when

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everything goes still. The coffee's already brewed, the counters are

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wiped down, the cake pans are out lined up like

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soldiers waiting for orders. And I'm standing there in the

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middle of my kitchen just breathing because I know, I

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know what's coming. I know that in a few hours,

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every chair in this house is going to be filled,

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every voice is going to be layered over another voice.

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Every room is.

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Going to have its own little story happening inside of it.

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And somewhere in the middle of all that noise, all

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that beautiful, chaotic, messy noise, my son Gavin is going

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to turn nineteen nineteen. I set it out loud to

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myself that morning, just once, just to hear how it sounded,

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and I swear to you, I could still feel the

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weight of him as a baby in my arms. I

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could still hear that tiny laugh. I could still see

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those little shoes by the back door. Nineteen years gone

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in a blank, and here I was about to watch

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a room full of people I love walked through my

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front door to celebrate a young man who used to

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fit in the kirk of my arm. So I took

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that breath, I held it for just a second longer

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than I needed to, and I whispered something to myself

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that I say every time a day like this arrives,

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don't miss it, Maya. Don't you dare miss a single

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second of it. Because I've learned something over the years.

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The big days don't warn you before they become the memories.

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They just happen, and if you're busy, if you're distracted,

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if you're running from one thing to the next, they'll

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slip right past you and you'll wake up one day

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wishing you.

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Had stood still for just a little bit longer.

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So I stood still that morning, and I let the

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house wake up around me, one quiet minute at a time,

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because I knew as soon as that first knock came

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at the door, it was all going to start, and

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I wouldn't get that quiet back until the last car

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pulled out of the driveway, probably close to midnight, maybe later.

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And I was ready. I was so ready, but I

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wanted this minute first, just this one, just for me.

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Hey everyone, and welcome back to we are the Hansens.

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I'm Maya, and this is my favorite part of my week,

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the part where I get to sit down with you

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and tell a story from our life. Not a polished one,

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not a perfect one, a real one, the kind with

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laughter in the kitchen and kids running through the living room,

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and a husband who takes dinner way too seriously, and

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a house that somehow keeps getting fuller every year. Today's

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story is a special one because today I want to

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take you inside one of the biggest nights we've had

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in a long time, Gavin's nineteenth birthday.

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And I'm not going to lie to you.

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I almost didn't know how to put this one into words,

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because some nights don't feel like nights.

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They feel like.

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Markers, little flags you plant in the ground of your

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life that say, remember this, remember.

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All of it.

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So grab your coffee, settle in, and let me take

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you there. It started early. It always starts early in

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this house. I don't think I've had a quiet morning

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in two decades. But that's fine with me, because quiet

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was never really the dream. The dream was this a

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house that hums, a kitchen that smells like something good,

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kids coming in and out, and a life that feels

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full all the way to the edges. So when I

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walked into the kitchen, that morning, coffee in hand, slippers

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still on. I didn't rush. I just stood there for

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a minute. I looked at the light coming in through

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the window. I looked at the chairs, the ones that

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would be pulled away from the table later. I looked

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at the empty counter, and I thought, this is the

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last quiet moment this room is going to have for

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the next twelve hours. Better enjoy it. Jeremy was already up,

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of course. He was that man moves through the kitchen

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like he was born in one. He had ingredients lined up,

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cutting boards out, a big pot sitting on the stove,

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just waiting.

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Beef's strogn off tonight, he said.

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And the way he said it, you would have thought

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he was announcing a state dinner.

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But that's Jeremy.

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When he cooks for the family, it's not just cooking.

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It's a performance. It's love on a plate. It's the

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one way he's always known how to say, I've got you,

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all of you, I'll feed you, I'll take care of you,

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and I'll do it with everything I've got. I kissed

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him on the cheek and grabbed another cup of coffee.

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Big day, I said, Big day, he said back, And

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that was it. No big speech, no checklist, just two

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people who've done this dance a hundred times before getting

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ready to do it again. Because when you've raised a

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family this size, you learned something. You learn that the

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magic isn't in the planning, The magic is in the

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showing up. A little while later, Mattie came in, and

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just like that, I had my partner in crime for

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the day. You have to understand something about Maddie. That

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girl has been my shadow in the kitchen for far

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as long as I can remember. When she was little,

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she would drag her chair up to the counter just

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to see what I was doing. She'd stick her fingers

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in the batter, she'd wear more flour than she ever

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actually used, and I'd pretend to be annoyed, but the

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truth was, those are some of my favorite warnings now here.

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She was taller than me, smarter than me, some days,

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pulling down mixing bowls like she'd done it her whole life.

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Because she has cherry chocolate, she asked, and I smiled.

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Kerry chocolate, because that's the cake. That's Gavin's favorite cake,

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the one he's asked for every year since he was

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old enough to have an opinion. Some years it's been

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a little lopsided. Some years the frostings melted before we

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got the candles on. One year, and I'll never forget this,

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the dog got into it before the party even started.

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I remember that year so clearly.

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The whole family walked into the kitchen at the same

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time to find this dog standing on a chair he

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had pulled out himself, his nose covered in cherry filling,

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looking at us like we were the ones who had

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done something wrong. Gavin laughed so hard he couldn't breathe.

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He didn't even care about the cake. He just kept

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pointing at the dog. Maddie and I had to drive

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to the store and start over two hours before the party,

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and somehow that cake turned out to be one of

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the best we've ever made. That's kind of how this

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family works. The moments that are supposed to ruin something

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usually end up making it better. But every year, no

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matter what, it's always been carry chocolate cake.

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It's his.

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And something about that tradition, something about a kid picking

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the same cake year after year, it tells you something.

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It tells you they've found their anchor, They've found the

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thing that says this is mine, this is home, and

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Maddie and I werek side by side. She stirred the batter,

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she talked about something funny that happened at work. I laughed,

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and I looked at her for just a second too long,

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because I caught myself remembering. I remember her first day

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of kindergarten. I remember her tiny hand in mine. I

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remember the way she used to sing to herself when

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she thought no one was listening. And here she was, growing,

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standing in my kitchen, helping me make her brother's birthday cake.

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I didn't say anything out loud. I just smiled to

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myself and I kept listening, because there are some things

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you don't need to say. You just tuck them into

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your corner of your heart and keep them forever.

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The first knock at the.

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Door came around late afternoon, and my heart did this

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little thing. It does, you know, that feeling when someone

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you love is about to walk through the door. I

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wipe my hands on my apron and went to answer it.

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And there he was, Gavin, with Riley right next to him,

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and I just stood there for half a second, taking

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him in because listen, there's something about seeing your child

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with someone they love and HiT's different. It's not just

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that they're growing up. It's that they're becoming someone, someone

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outside of you, someone who chooses and is chosen. Riley

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had that smile, the one that says, I'm glad to

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be here, not just for the party, not just to

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be polite, but because she loves him, and I loved

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her a little more for it. Gavin walked in, and

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I worre to you. He looked older, not in the

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way I can fully explain, not because of anything he said,

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but in the way he carried himself, the way he

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said hello, the way he looked around the house like

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he was really seeing it, like he was noticing things

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he hadn't noticed before nineteen there it was written all

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over him.

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I hugged him.

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I held on a little longer than I probably needed to,

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and he let me. That's the thing about my boys,

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they let me. They're big now, they're grown. They could

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brush me off, they could roll their eyes, they could

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give me that half hug.

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That teenagers give their moms in public. But they don't.

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They hugged me.

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Back every single time. And I don't know how I

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got that lucky. I really don't. Riley gave me a

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hug too, and told me the house smelled incredible. I

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told her to tell Jeremy that he'd love to hear it,

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and she went and told him, of course she did,

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that's the kind of person she is. Then came Colin,

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right on their heels. Colin's always the one that shows

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up with that energy, that big grin, that voice that

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fills up a room before his whole body even clears

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the doorway. He gave me a hug, made some joke

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about how the house is going to be destroyed by

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the end of the night, and headed straight for Jeremy

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in the kitchen. Those two, they have their own language.

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And then came the ones I'd been waiting for, Logan

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Aliyah and little Remedy. I'm just going to tell you

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something right now, when a grand baby walks into the room,

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everything changes. It doesn't matter how loud the house is,

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it doesn't matter how many conversations are already happening. The

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second that little person comes through the door, the air shifts,

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Voices get softer, people reach out, Smiles land on faces

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that didn't even know they needed it. Remedy came in,

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wrapped in her little outfit, big eyes, taking everything in,

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and Jeremy came out of the kitchen so fast you'd

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think somebody had called his name three times.

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He scooped her right.

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Up, and for a second everything stopped. I watched him

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hold her, that big, rough, working man with flower on

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his hands and a dish towel over his shoulder, holding

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that little girl who looks just like his son used to,

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and I thought to myself, this is it. This is

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the whole thing. This is why we do any of it,

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because somewhere along the way, the kids you raised become parents,

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and the babies they bring into the world become the

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reason the whole thing keeps going. That's the quiet miracle

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nobody prepares you for. You think raising them is the

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finish line. You think the goal is getting them through it.

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But then one day you're standing in your kitchen watching

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your husband hold your granddaughter while your son watches both

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of them with that look on his face, and you

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realize there's no finish line. It just keeps expanding, just

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keeps getting bigger, It just keeps filling up with more

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love than you thought was possible, and remedy.

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This little girl.

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She's going to grow up knowing this She's going to

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know what it feels like to walk into a room

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full of people who are happy just to see her face.

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She's going to.

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Know what love sounds like when it's coming from every

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corner at once. And that's the inheritance that matters, not money,

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not stuff that After Logan and Aliyah, the door didn't

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really stop. Keenan came in next, with Sophie right beside him.

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Keenan's our funnier one. He watches, he listens, he takes

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it all in before he steps fully into the noise.

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But once he's there, he's there. Sophie slid right into

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the mix, laughing at something one of the cousins said,

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immediately comfortable. That's a gift too. You know when your

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child loves walks into your house and just fits. No awkwardness,

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no trying to find her footing, just in, just home.

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Tristan came in a few minutes later, and the minute

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he and Keenan were in the same room, I could

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hear them, the teasing, the back and forth, the brother thing.

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It's not soft, it's not always sweet. Sometimes it sounds

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like they're ready to fight, but it's love. It's the

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00:13:28.720 --> 00:13:31.759
kind of love that was forged over years of sharing

240
00:13:31.799 --> 00:13:36.519
bedrooms and fighting over the last pizza pizza, and defending

241
00:13:36.519 --> 00:13:39.799
each other at school when nobody else would. Gavin got

242
00:13:39.799 --> 00:13:42.759
pulled right into the middle of it. And there they were,

243
00:13:43.600 --> 00:13:47.639
three of our boys, laughing, giving each other a hard time,

244
00:13:48.679 --> 00:13:51.200
and somewhere in the middle of it all, I heard

245
00:13:51.200 --> 00:13:54.320
Gavin laugh that deep laugh, the one that sounds like

246
00:13:54.360 --> 00:13:57.240
his dad's, and I had to turn my face away

247
00:13:57.279 --> 00:14:00.360
for a second, because I'm not going to cry in

248
00:14:00.399 --> 00:14:03.919
my own kitchen, at least not this early in the night.

249
00:14:04.759 --> 00:14:05.639
Then the girls.

250
00:14:05.399 --> 00:14:08.799
Started showing up in full force. Maddie was already here,

251
00:14:09.240 --> 00:14:12.879
but then Aneline came around the corner and torn, each

252
00:14:12.919 --> 00:14:17.279
of them, carrying their own personality like a signature, Torn

253
00:14:17.360 --> 00:14:19.840
with that sharp sense of humor that'll cut you down

254
00:14:19.919 --> 00:14:23.200
before you even see it coming, Analine with that warmth

255
00:14:23.639 --> 00:14:26.879
that just wraps around the room. Mattie holding it all

256
00:14:26.879 --> 00:14:30.039
together like she does. They found each other in the

257
00:14:30.080 --> 00:14:34.080
living room, puddled up on the couch, talking about things

258
00:14:34.120 --> 00:14:37.639
I wasn't supposed to hear. And that's fine, that's their moment,

259
00:14:38.039 --> 00:14:42.480
that's theirs. I keep moving through the house, checking on Jeremy,

260
00:14:42.639 --> 00:14:45.639
checking on the kids, making sure the little ones weren't

261
00:14:45.679 --> 00:14:50.320
about to break something, and still people kept coming. Cousin

262
00:14:50.360 --> 00:14:56.600
Logan with Kate Connor with Haley, Matthew, Sammy, Cammy, Gigi,

263
00:14:57.200 --> 00:14:59.519
and the two little ones running around like they've been

264
00:14:59.559 --> 00:15:02.960
given mission to own the entire house for the evening,

265
00:15:03.879 --> 00:15:08.120
and of course his aunt walking in with that smile,

266
00:15:08.960 --> 00:15:12.440
that same smile that she'd had for forty years. Some

267
00:15:12.480 --> 00:15:16.399
people carry family with them, they just do. You see them,

268
00:15:16.799 --> 00:15:19.879
and you remember every family gathering you've ever been to,

269
00:15:20.440 --> 00:15:25.320
every birthday, every holiday, every scraped knee, every tear wiped away.

270
00:15:26.279 --> 00:15:27.759
Yep, that's it.

271
00:15:28.519 --> 00:15:30.759
Every corner of the house had life in it now,

272
00:15:31.159 --> 00:15:35.559
every single corner. The living room had its own conversation happening.

273
00:15:36.080 --> 00:15:39.000
The kitchen had another, The hallway had a group of

274
00:15:39.080 --> 00:15:43.200
cousins laughing about who knows what. The front porch had

275
00:15:43.200 --> 00:15:46.360
the boys stepping outside to take a breath. The dining

276
00:15:46.440 --> 00:15:49.759
room had the little ones coloring on something they shouldn't

277
00:15:49.759 --> 00:15:52.720
have been coloring on. And I stood in the doorway

278
00:15:52.799 --> 00:15:56.559
for just a second, just a second, and I took

279
00:15:56.600 --> 00:16:00.120
it all in, because here's the truth. Nobody really tells

280
00:16:00.159 --> 00:16:03.639
you when you're young and raising babies. You think the

281
00:16:03.679 --> 00:16:07.720
full houses are exhausting ones. You think the loud ones

282
00:16:07.799 --> 00:16:11.320
are the hard ones. You think you'll be relieved when

283
00:16:11.360 --> 00:16:16.679
things calm down someday, but you won't be, because this,

284
00:16:17.000 --> 00:16:20.960
right here, this is what you're working for. The whole

285
00:16:21.000 --> 00:16:24.679
time you were working for a full house, you were

286
00:16:24.679 --> 00:16:27.080
working for the day when all the kids you used

287
00:16:27.080 --> 00:16:29.759
to carry around would walk through the door on their

288
00:16:29.799 --> 00:16:33.080
own two feet, with the people they love, with babies

289
00:16:33.080 --> 00:16:33.679
of their own.

290
00:16:34.320 --> 00:16:36.440
This is the prize. This is it.

291
00:16:37.120 --> 00:16:40.720
The most people, when they finally get here, they're too

292
00:16:40.840 --> 00:16:41.639
tired to see it.

293
00:16:42.440 --> 00:16:43.639
But I saw it that night.

294
00:16:44.480 --> 00:16:47.600
I saw every single face, and I promised myself I

295
00:16:47.639 --> 00:16:51.159
wouldn't forget a single one. Meanwhile, back in the kitchen,

296
00:16:51.720 --> 00:16:54.799
Jeremy was deep in it. I mean deep in it.

297
00:16:55.440 --> 00:16:58.320
If you've never watched your husband cook for twenty plus

298
00:16:58.360 --> 00:17:02.519
people like he's preparing a feast for royalty, you haven't lived.

299
00:17:03.159 --> 00:17:07.160
The strogan Off was on, the noodles were going, Something

300
00:17:07.240 --> 00:17:09.039
was in the oven that I hadn't even asked about.

301
00:17:09.599 --> 00:17:12.480
He was moving from pot to pot, the oven to counter,

302
00:17:12.680 --> 00:17:16.440
without ever once looking rushed. That's the thing about Jermy.

303
00:17:16.559 --> 00:17:20.000
He doesn't cook fast. He cooks with intention, every stir,

304
00:17:20.279 --> 00:17:24.839
every pinch of something, every taste, every adjustment. And the smell, oh,

305
00:17:24.880 --> 00:17:29.359
my goodness, the smell rich, warm, savory, the kind of

306
00:17:29.400 --> 00:17:31.880
smell that gets into the carpet and stays there for

307
00:17:31.920 --> 00:17:34.559
two days, the kind of smell that makes people walk

308
00:17:34.599 --> 00:17:37.640
into the kitchen just to ask how long. And every

309
00:17:37.680 --> 00:17:41.839
single time somebody asked, he'd smile because he was loving it.

310
00:17:42.119 --> 00:17:45.279
He was in his element. People kept drifting in to

311
00:17:45.400 --> 00:17:51.319
steal little tastes. They bite off a spoon. Hmm, that's incredible, Dad, Jeremy,

312
00:17:51.319 --> 00:17:52.319
what did you put in this?

313
00:17:52.920 --> 00:17:54.200
Can I take some of this home?

314
00:17:54.880 --> 00:17:58.319
And he just kept stirring, nodding, laughing a little under

315
00:17:58.359 --> 00:18:02.480
his breath, because for him, this wasn't a chore. This

316
00:18:02.640 --> 00:18:06.440
was the whole point. Feeding his family is his love language,

317
00:18:06.880 --> 00:18:10.359
always has been, and that night he was speaking it

318
00:18:10.440 --> 00:18:13.960
fluently when dinner finally hit the table. I wish you

319
00:18:14.000 --> 00:18:17.319
could have seen it, I really do. Flights being passed,

320
00:18:17.359 --> 00:18:21.200
cares being pulled closer, people standing up, sitting down, reaching

321
00:18:21.200 --> 00:18:24.960
over each other, somebody asking for the salt, somebody else

322
00:18:25.039 --> 00:18:28.319
asking why they always have to pass it, Kids at

323
00:18:28.359 --> 00:18:31.480
the table arguing about something small and important to them.

324
00:18:32.039 --> 00:18:36.119
Remedy on someone's lap, grinning, the big boys at one end,

325
00:18:36.519 --> 00:18:39.160
the girls at the other, Jeremy standing for half of

326
00:18:39.200 --> 00:18:41.519
it because he refused to sit down and tell everyone

327
00:18:41.559 --> 00:18:45.039
had food. It was loud, Oh my goodness, it was loud,

328
00:18:45.519 --> 00:18:48.079
but it was the best kind of loud, the kind

329
00:18:48.079 --> 00:18:50.519
of loud that tells you no one is a stranger

330
00:18:50.519 --> 00:18:53.039
in this room, the kind of loud that says we

331
00:18:53.119 --> 00:18:57.240
are comfortable here, we belong here, we're home. Somebody knocked

332
00:18:57.240 --> 00:19:00.839
over a glass of water, nobody panicked. Three people reached

333
00:19:00.880 --> 00:19:03.440
for napkins at the same time. One of the little

334
00:19:03.440 --> 00:19:05.920
ones thought it was the funniest thing she'd ever seen

335
00:19:05.960 --> 00:19:08.559
in her whole life and started laughing so hard she

336
00:19:08.599 --> 00:19:11.759
almost fell out of her chair, which made everybody else

337
00:19:11.799 --> 00:19:14.640
start laughing, Which is exactly the way dinner in this

338
00:19:14.759 --> 00:19:18.119
house goes. Something goes wrong, and we just absorb it,

339
00:19:18.559 --> 00:19:22.000
We turn it into part of the story. Jeremy finally

340
00:19:22.039 --> 00:19:25.000
sat down for about thirty seconds before he was back

341
00:19:25.079 --> 00:19:26.680
up checking on somebody's plate.

342
00:19:27.279 --> 00:19:29.720
I told him to sit. He didn't listen.

343
00:19:29.920 --> 00:19:33.319
He never does, because in his head, as long as

344
00:19:33.359 --> 00:19:36.160
one person at the table doesn't have something they need.

345
00:19:36.720 --> 00:19:39.880
Dinner isn't done. I looked over at Gavin and he

346
00:19:40.000 --> 00:19:43.240
was just soaking it in. He was laughing at something

347
00:19:43.279 --> 00:19:47.799
Colin said, listening to his cousin tell a story, helping

348
00:19:47.839 --> 00:19:49.440
one of the little ones with a napkin.

349
00:19:49.839 --> 00:19:51.640
He looked happy, really happy.

350
00:19:52.000 --> 00:19:54.160
Not the kind of happy you fake for a birthday,

351
00:19:54.799 --> 00:19:58.240
the deep kind, the kind that settles in your chest.

352
00:19:58.519 --> 00:20:01.920
I remember at one point he just stopped for maybe

353
00:20:01.960 --> 00:20:06.119
five seconds. He didn't eat, he didn't talk, he just

354
00:20:06.160 --> 00:20:08.599
looked around the table, and I watched him do it.

355
00:20:09.119 --> 00:20:11.599
I know what that look is because I made that

356
00:20:11.640 --> 00:20:15.240
same look standing in this house a hundred times. It's

357
00:20:15.240 --> 00:20:19.559
the look of someone realizing these people this right here,

358
00:20:20.279 --> 00:20:23.279
this is mine, this is who loves me, And for

359
00:20:23.359 --> 00:20:28.039
a mom, that's everything, that's the whole job. When dinner

360
00:20:28.119 --> 00:20:31.240
started winding down, I knew it was time. I caught

361
00:20:31.279 --> 00:20:35.000
Maddie's eye across the table. He nodded, We moved, Light

362
00:20:35.160 --> 00:20:38.119
started going down around the house. Jeremy cleared a spot

363
00:20:38.119 --> 00:20:40.880
on the table, Maddie and I carried out the cake,

364
00:20:41.319 --> 00:20:46.960
carry chocolate, nineteen candles flowing, flickering. The whole room went

365
00:20:47.039 --> 00:20:49.839
quiet for just a second when it came around the corner,

366
00:20:50.119 --> 00:20:52.880
and then somebody started singing. I'm not even sure who

367
00:20:53.000 --> 00:20:57.200
started at first, but once it started, everybody joined in.

368
00:20:57.599 --> 00:20:59.839
And I'm going to be honest with you.

369
00:20:59.400 --> 00:21:02.279
Nobody was in tune, nobody was in time.

370
00:21:02.880 --> 00:21:05.880
Half the people were laughing while they sang. The little

371
00:21:05.880 --> 00:21:09.200
ones were half a verse behind. Somebody was singing the

372
00:21:09.200 --> 00:21:12.640
wrong words on purpose, and it was perfect. It was

373
00:21:12.720 --> 00:21:16.799
absolutely perfect, because you don't need harmony when you've got

374
00:21:16.839 --> 00:21:19.400
this much love in one room. I watched Gavin the

375
00:21:19.440 --> 00:21:22.319
whole time. I couldn't help it. I watched my son,

376
00:21:22.799 --> 00:21:26.160
my second boy, my kid who used to hide behind

377
00:21:26.200 --> 00:21:29.480
my legs when strangers came over, standing in front of

378
00:21:29.480 --> 00:21:32.720
a cake, his mom and sister, made surrounded by people

379
00:21:32.720 --> 00:21:35.519
who have known him his whole life, and for a second,

380
00:21:35.960 --> 00:21:38.920
I saw all of him at once. I saw the baby.

381
00:21:39.440 --> 00:21:42.319
I saw the toddler with the messy hair. I saw

382
00:21:42.359 --> 00:21:44.599
the little boy who used to hand me dandelions like

383
00:21:44.640 --> 00:21:47.000
they were roses. I saw the kid on the first

384
00:21:47.079 --> 00:21:50.279
day of school. I saw the teenager who figured out

385
00:21:50.279 --> 00:21:52.880
how to make people laugh. I saw the young man

386
00:21:53.039 --> 00:21:58.319
standing there now, quiet, steady, surrounded all of them, all

387
00:21:58.359 --> 00:22:02.440
at once stacked up inside that one face. That's what

388
00:22:02.480 --> 00:22:06.000
a birthday really is when you're the mom. It's not

389
00:22:06.160 --> 00:22:11.039
one year, it's every year. It's every version of that kid,

390
00:22:11.359 --> 00:22:14.759
all existing in the same breath. And right before he

391
00:22:14.839 --> 00:22:17.880
blew out the candles, he closed his eyes just for

392
00:22:17.920 --> 00:22:21.799
a second, longer than most people do. And I don't

393
00:22:21.880 --> 00:22:25.079
know what he wished for. I never asked. I'm not

394
00:22:25.160 --> 00:22:28.880
going to because some wishes are meant to stay between

395
00:22:28.880 --> 00:22:32.960
a boy and his birthday. But whatever he wished for

396
00:22:33.039 --> 00:22:36.839
that night, I hope he feels it someday. I hope

397
00:22:36.839 --> 00:22:40.359
it comes true in the biggest way, because if anyone

398
00:22:40.440 --> 00:22:42.440
deserves it.

399
00:22:41.680 --> 00:22:42.960
It's him.

400
00:22:43.200 --> 00:22:47.319
He blew out the candles, the room erupted, clapping, cheering,

401
00:22:47.960 --> 00:22:52.960
somebody yelling speech speech in the back. He just laughed

402
00:22:52.960 --> 00:22:56.920
and shook his head. That's Gavin. Never needed the spot,

403
00:22:58.119 --> 00:23:01.480
but he had it anyway. After the cake, the night

404
00:23:01.640 --> 00:23:05.519
just kind of softened, you know what I mean. The

405
00:23:05.559 --> 00:23:09.799
peak had happened, the big moment had landed, and now

406
00:23:10.799 --> 00:23:15.519
everyone was just together, just being The older kids drifted

407
00:23:15.519 --> 00:23:17.880
out to the porch, the girls curled up on the

408
00:23:17.880 --> 00:23:22.319
couch with their plates. Jeremy finally sat down, actually sat down,

409
00:23:22.519 --> 00:23:25.920
with a full plate and a glass of something cold.

410
00:23:26.680 --> 00:23:29.640
I watched him lean back for the first time in hours.

411
00:23:30.160 --> 00:23:33.119
He looked at me from across the room and he

412
00:23:33.200 --> 00:23:37.079
gave me that little smile, the one that only I know,

413
00:23:38.240 --> 00:23:41.359
the one that says we did it another one, and

414
00:23:41.440 --> 00:23:45.920
I smiled back, because yeah, we did. The little kids

415
00:23:45.920 --> 00:23:49.279
were starting to wear out. One of them was asleep

416
00:23:49.359 --> 00:23:51.960
on the floor with a pillow under her head. Another

417
00:23:52.000 --> 00:23:56.240
one was fighting sleep with everything she had remedy, was

418
00:23:56.279 --> 00:24:00.559
ready to go. The big boys were outside talking, and

419
00:24:00.599 --> 00:24:03.720
I'll tell you something. I don't know what they were

420
00:24:03.759 --> 00:24:06.880
talking about. I don't need to, because whatever it was,

421
00:24:07.400 --> 00:24:10.839
it was theirs brothers. Talking on the porch at night

422
00:24:11.480 --> 00:24:15.960
after a birthday dinner is something sacred. You don't interrupt that.

423
00:24:16.920 --> 00:24:20.240
You just let it happen. You just know that somewhere

424
00:24:20.240 --> 00:24:24.440
out there in the dark, your sons are connecting, and

425
00:24:24.480 --> 00:24:25.079
that's enough.

426
00:24:26.079 --> 00:24:27.200
I glanced out the window.

427
00:24:27.240 --> 00:24:30.519
At one point I could see them standing there, Gavin

428
00:24:30.559 --> 00:24:33.400
in the middle, a couple of the others around him.

429
00:24:33.759 --> 00:24:37.000
Someone said something I couldn't hear, and Gavin threw his

430
00:24:37.079 --> 00:24:40.440
head back, laughing that full body laugh, the one that

431
00:24:40.519 --> 00:24:43.480
tells you he's okay, the one that tells you he's happy,

432
00:24:44.519 --> 00:24:47.200
the one that tells you this day landed.

433
00:24:46.880 --> 00:24:48.599
Exactly the way it was supposed to.

434
00:24:49.720 --> 00:24:52.799
And I stepped away from the window because that wasn't

435
00:24:52.799 --> 00:24:57.319
my moment to watch, it was his. The girls inside

436
00:24:57.359 --> 00:25:02.079
were laughing harder, now deep laughs laughs. Somebody was telling

437
00:25:02.079 --> 00:25:06.279
a story, somebody else was adding details to it. Anneline

438
00:25:06.359 --> 00:25:08.839
had that look on her face like she was about

439
00:25:08.880 --> 00:25:11.880
to drop a one liner that was going to wreck everybody,

440
00:25:12.319 --> 00:25:13.720
and sure enough she did.

441
00:25:14.160 --> 00:25:15.440
The whole room lost it.

442
00:25:15.680 --> 00:25:18.160
I laughed to tell my cheeks hurt, and for a

443
00:25:18.200 --> 00:25:21.920
second I caught myself thinking, I'm going to remember this

444
00:25:22.039 --> 00:25:24.680
night for the rest of my life, not because anything

445
00:25:24.799 --> 00:25:28.920
huge happened, not because we did anything crazy, but because

446
00:25:28.920 --> 00:25:33.000
it was full. It was so full, full of people,

447
00:25:33.519 --> 00:25:37.799
full of love, full of noise, full of life. One

448
00:25:37.839 --> 00:25:41.680
by one, people started heading home. That's the bittersweet part

449
00:25:41.720 --> 00:25:45.480
of a night like this, the leaving hugs at the door,

450
00:25:45.839 --> 00:25:49.079
Drive safe, love you, text me when you get home,

451
00:25:49.359 --> 00:25:52.960
don't forget your plate. We'll see you Sunday. And each

452
00:25:53.039 --> 00:25:56.279
time the door closed, the house got a little quieter,

453
00:25:56.759 --> 00:26:00.680
a little emptier, a little softer, until finally it was

454
00:26:00.839 --> 00:26:03.359
just a handful that stayed until the end, the ones

455
00:26:03.359 --> 00:26:06.119
who aren't in any hurry, the ones who linger because

456
00:26:06.119 --> 00:26:08.799
they don't want the night to be over either. Jeremy

457
00:26:08.839 --> 00:26:12.079
and I started cleaning up, slowly, not in a rush,

458
00:26:12.559 --> 00:26:16.519
just moving through the kitchen, wiping counter, stacking plates, picking

459
00:26:16.599 --> 00:26:19.799
up a straight cup here, a crumbled napkin there. And

460
00:26:19.880 --> 00:26:22.920
in the middle of all of it, I stopped. I

461
00:26:22.960 --> 00:26:25.519
stopped right there in the kitchen, and I looked around.

462
00:26:26.119 --> 00:26:29.319
The counters were sticky, there were chairs out of place.

463
00:26:30.200 --> 00:26:32.720
Somebody had left their sweater on the back of the chair.

464
00:26:33.319 --> 00:26:36.200
There was cake frosting on the floor, a plate of

465
00:26:36.319 --> 00:26:40.119
leftover strogan Off on the stove. The trash was overflowing.

466
00:26:40.480 --> 00:26:44.400
And I just stood there and I smiled, because that mess,

467
00:26:45.079 --> 00:26:51.559
that beautiful, sticky, exhausting, cluttered mess, was the proof, the

468
00:26:51.640 --> 00:26:54.920
proof that this house held a party tonight, the proof

469
00:26:54.960 --> 00:26:57.480
that it held a lot of people, the proof that

470
00:26:57.519 --> 00:27:00.960
they came, the proof that they stayed, the proof that

471
00:27:01.039 --> 00:27:06.319
my boy turned nineteen and he was loved deeply, completely

472
00:27:07.000 --> 00:27:10.720
buy everyone in that room. Okay, before I wrap this up,

473
00:27:10.839 --> 00:27:13.440
I got to do something for you, because you know,

474
00:27:13.519 --> 00:27:14.279
I can end this.

475
00:27:14.279 --> 00:27:15.799
Episode without it.

476
00:27:15.880 --> 00:27:20.279
The cherry chocolate cake, the cake, the one Gavin's asked

477
00:27:20.319 --> 00:27:23.400
for every year. I'm going to give it to you

478
00:27:23.480 --> 00:27:26.480
the way my family does it. Nothing fancy, just real.

479
00:27:27.000 --> 00:27:30.720
You're going to need one box of chocolate cake mix. Yes,

480
00:27:31.200 --> 00:27:34.359
one box. Don't give me that look. I've been making

481
00:27:34.400 --> 00:27:38.519
cakes for twenty plus years and sometimes a box is

482
00:27:38.599 --> 00:27:42.599
exactly right. Make them according to the directions on the back.

483
00:27:43.240 --> 00:27:46.319
Add one can of cherry pie filling into the batter.

484
00:27:46.519 --> 00:27:51.880
Pour them into the pan, bake it. Let it cool completely. Now,

485
00:27:51.920 --> 00:27:55.640
while it's cooling, take a can of cherry pie filling

486
00:27:55.720 --> 00:27:58.160
and set it on the counter next to it. Open

487
00:27:58.200 --> 00:28:02.400
it up, and while you're at it, open your whipped frosting.

488
00:28:03.599 --> 00:28:06.880
When the cake is cool, spread a good layer of

489
00:28:06.920 --> 00:28:11.519
whipped frosting on top. Then spoon cherry pie filling on

490
00:28:11.680 --> 00:28:15.119
top of that. Let it sit for a little while.

491
00:28:15.799 --> 00:28:18.599
Don't be neat. This cake isn't supposed to be neat.

492
00:28:18.880 --> 00:28:21.400
It's supposed to look like it was made with love.

493
00:28:22.160 --> 00:28:24.880
Let it pool, Let it drip a little down the

494
00:28:24.920 --> 00:28:28.119
sides if you want to. That's the whole beauty of it.

495
00:28:28.640 --> 00:28:32.559
Stick some candles in it, dim the lights, call the

496
00:28:32.599 --> 00:28:36.000
people you love into the room, and watch somebody's face

497
00:28:36.119 --> 00:28:39.279
light up when they see it. That's the recipe. It's

498
00:28:39.319 --> 00:28:43.680
not complicated, it never was. The best ones never are.

499
00:28:44.519 --> 00:28:45.079
And listen.

500
00:28:46.039 --> 00:28:49.559
If yours comes out a little crooked, if the frosting

501
00:28:49.599 --> 00:28:53.400
slides off the side, if the cherry filling drips onto

502
00:28:53.440 --> 00:28:57.240
the counter and you have to wipe it up, that's fine.

503
00:28:57.519 --> 00:29:01.000
That's better than fine, because in this house, we don't

504
00:29:01.079 --> 00:29:05.200
make pinterest cakes. We make cakes that taste like childhood.

505
00:29:05.759 --> 00:29:09.240
We make cakes that get remembered. We make cakes that

506
00:29:09.400 --> 00:29:12.519
end up in the family photo album twenty years from

507
00:29:12.519 --> 00:29:16.519
now with somebody's little face behind them, covered in frosting.

508
00:29:17.440 --> 00:29:21.400
That's what you're making. You're not making dessert. You're making

509
00:29:21.400 --> 00:29:25.000
a memory. So don't stress about it looking perfect. Just

510
00:29:25.079 --> 00:29:28.240
make it with love. The people you're feeding will taste it,

511
00:29:28.400 --> 00:29:31.799
I promise. Jeremy and I finally made it to the

512
00:29:31.799 --> 00:29:36.400
couch that night, late, very late. The house was quiet,

513
00:29:37.079 --> 00:29:40.559
the dishwasher was humming, the lights were low, and I

514
00:29:40.680 --> 00:29:41.640
just leaned into him.

515
00:29:42.000 --> 00:29:44.160
Didn't say a word. He didn't either.

516
00:29:45.160 --> 00:29:50.359
We just sat there, tired, full together and somewhere in

517
00:29:50.359 --> 00:29:53.799
that quiet I thought about my boy. I thought about

518
00:29:53.799 --> 00:29:57.359
my baby I held nineteen years ago. I thought about

519
00:29:57.400 --> 00:29:59.599
the toddler who used to run through the living room

520
00:29:59.599 --> 00:30:02.519
with no p hands on. I thought about the little

521
00:30:02.559 --> 00:30:05.759
boy who lost his first tooth. I thought about the

522
00:30:05.839 --> 00:30:08.599
kid who fell off his bike and got right back on.

523
00:30:09.640 --> 00:30:12.200
I thought about the teenager who was crazier than I

524
00:30:12.279 --> 00:30:14.920
expected him to be. I thought about the young man

525
00:30:15.079 --> 00:30:19.240
walked through my door tonight, holding hands with someone he loves,

526
00:30:19.559 --> 00:30:23.400
and I thought, you don't raise them for the milestones.

527
00:30:23.519 --> 00:30:26.519
You raised them for the room. You raised them for

528
00:30:26.599 --> 00:30:29.599
the day when the room is full. You raise them

529
00:30:29.640 --> 00:30:32.960
for the moment when every chair is taken, every plate

530
00:30:33.039 --> 00:30:36.839
is out, every voice is layered, and they look around

531
00:30:36.839 --> 00:30:41.319
and realize this is mine, this is my family, this

532
00:30:41.400 --> 00:30:45.160
is where I belong. You raise them for that. Everything

533
00:30:45.200 --> 00:30:48.160
else is just a road to it. I kissed Jeremy

534
00:30:48.200 --> 00:30:50.400
on the top of his forehead, and I told him

535
00:30:50.440 --> 00:30:53.839
thank you for all of it, For the dinner, for

536
00:30:53.920 --> 00:30:57.319
the life we built, for saying yes to every one

537
00:30:57.319 --> 00:31:01.400
of those kids, for showing up every single time. He

538
00:31:01.440 --> 00:31:04.960
didn't say anything, He just squeezed my hand, and that

539
00:31:05.119 --> 00:31:08.880
was enough. Because some nights, words would only get in

540
00:31:08.920 --> 00:31:12.319
the way. Some nights, you just sit with the person

541
00:31:12.400 --> 00:31:15.240
you love in a house that held everything it was

542
00:31:15.240 --> 00:31:16.799
supposed to hold, and.

543
00:31:16.799 --> 00:31:18.480
You let the quiet say it for you.

544
00:31:19.200 --> 00:31:22.960
That's what we did for a long long time, just

545
00:31:23.039 --> 00:31:27.359
sat there and let the night settle into the walls. So, Gavin,

546
00:31:27.799 --> 00:31:30.839
if you ever hear this someday, when you're older, or

547
00:31:30.839 --> 00:31:33.440
when your kids are older, or when you're standing in

548
00:31:33.480 --> 00:31:36.839
your own kitchen watching your own household of people you love,

549
00:31:37.279 --> 00:31:40.519
I want you to remember this night, not because anything

550
00:31:40.559 --> 00:31:45.319
big happened, but because everyone came, everyone showed up, everyone

551
00:31:45.400 --> 00:31:48.559
loved you. And that's the kind of wealth nobody can

552
00:31:48.599 --> 00:31:53.160
take from you ever. Happy nineteenth birthday, my boy, and

553
00:31:53.200 --> 00:31:56.799
to everyone listening, thank you for being here with me tonight.

554
00:31:57.319 --> 00:31:59.440
Thank you for letting me bring you into our little

555
00:31:59.480 --> 00:32:03.519
corner of the world. If tonight's episode meant something to you,

556
00:32:03.920 --> 00:32:07.519
share it with someone you love, call your kid, bake

557
00:32:07.559 --> 00:32:11.440
a cake, fill your table. Because the nights you think

558
00:32:11.559 --> 00:32:15.640
are ordinary are almost always the ones you'll remember the longest.

559
00:32:16.400 --> 00:32:19.319
I am Maya Hanson, and this is we are the Hansons.

560
00:32:19.920 --> 00:32:21.000
I'll see you next time.