Dec. 15, 2025

Why Family Is Our Safe Space Even When It's Loud

Why Family Is Our Safe Space Even When It's Loud

In this heartfelt episode of We Are the Hansons, we open the doors to our loud, chaotic, love-filled home and talk about why family is our safe place—even on the days when it feels overwhelming. From nonstop noise and emotional moments to laughter that follows the storms, this episode is about the beauty of being fully seen, fully known, and fully accepted at home.

Because safe places aren’t built on perfection.

They’re built on love, forgiveness, and showing up—again and again.

If your house is loud, messy, and full of life… this one’s for you.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

WEBVTT

1
00:00:06.400 --> 00:00:11.919
There's a moment, usually late at night, sometimes closer to

2
00:00:11.960 --> 00:00:16.800
midnight than i'd like to admit, when the house finally

3
00:00:16.879 --> 00:00:24.879
goes quiet, not silent. We're never completely silent. There's still

4
00:00:24.920 --> 00:00:29.559
the hum of the fridge, the occasional creek of old

5
00:00:29.640 --> 00:00:34.200
wood settling, maybe a dog shifting in his sleep down

6
00:00:34.200 --> 00:00:39.280
the hall, but still enough, still enough to hear your

7
00:00:39.320 --> 00:00:44.119
own thoughts again. And that's when it hits you. Not

8
00:00:44.280 --> 00:00:51.439
the exhaustion, though that's definitely there. Not the mess, Lord

9
00:00:51.520 --> 00:00:56.479
knows that's there too, Not even the noise that lived

10
00:00:56.520 --> 00:01:03.359
in these walls all day, the yelling, the laughter, the crying,

11
00:01:04.319 --> 00:01:11.200
the chaos. No, what hits you in those quiet moments

12
00:01:12.760 --> 00:01:21.239
is the gratitude, because this noise, this beautiful, overwhelming, sometimes

13
00:01:21.280 --> 00:01:28.560
suffocating loudness, this is the sound of your safe place breathing. Yeah,

14
00:01:28.840 --> 00:01:34.560
even that, even the interruptions, even the one who just

15
00:01:34.760 --> 00:01:38.599
had to get water right now, even the one who

16
00:01:38.680 --> 00:01:43.640
can't sleep without telling you one more thing, Because one

17
00:01:43.719 --> 00:01:48.439
day the house really will be quiet and you'll miss

18
00:01:48.439 --> 00:01:53.159
the noise. But we'll get to that. Welcome to We

19
00:01:53.239 --> 00:01:57.200
are the Hansens, The podcast where real life is messy,

20
00:01:57.920 --> 00:02:02.040
love is loud, and fly is everything we never knew

21
00:02:02.319 --> 00:02:07.120
we needed. I'm Maya Hanson and today's episode is called

22
00:02:07.480 --> 00:02:11.280
why Family is Our safe place even when it's loud.

23
00:02:12.360 --> 00:02:15.919
And if your house sounds anything like ours, if you've

24
00:02:15.919 --> 00:02:18.759
ever wondered why everyone seems to need you at the

25
00:02:18.840 --> 00:02:22.520
exact same time, if you've ever stood in the middle

26
00:02:22.560 --> 00:02:26.560
of the chaos thinking how did I get here, then

27
00:02:26.599 --> 00:02:30.960
this one's for you, because today we're talking about the

28
00:02:31.000 --> 00:02:35.159
beautiful contradiction of family life. The way home can feel

29
00:02:35.319 --> 00:02:40.319
like the loudest, most overwhelming place on earth, and somehow

30
00:02:40.719 --> 00:02:45.080
they'll be exactly where you need to be. Let's dive in.

31
00:02:46.520 --> 00:02:49.759
Let me paint you a picture. It's seven twenty three

32
00:02:49.800 --> 00:02:52.840
in the morning, which means you've already been up for

33
00:02:52.879 --> 00:02:56.520
an hour, maybe two if you count the kid who

34
00:02:56.560 --> 00:03:01.639
crawled into bed at five am because of a bad dream.

35
00:03:01.919 --> 00:03:07.000
You're standing in the kitchen, coffee in hand, barely because

36
00:03:07.039 --> 00:03:10.840
someone just asked you where their shoes are for the

37
00:03:10.879 --> 00:03:16.000
third time. Someone else is already eating something they're definitely

38
00:03:16.080 --> 00:03:20.479
not supposed to have before breakfast? Is that? Are you

39
00:03:20.560 --> 00:03:28.199
eating Halloween candy? It's January. There's arguing over who touched

40
00:03:28.400 --> 00:03:33.960
who first, Who looked at who wrong, who breathed too

41
00:03:34.199 --> 00:03:38.199
loud in the other one's direction. The dog needs to

42
00:03:38.240 --> 00:03:41.879
go out, the cat knocks something off the counter, someone's

43
00:03:41.919 --> 00:03:45.879
crying because their socks feel weird, And somewhere in the

44
00:03:45.919 --> 00:03:51.639
middle of it all, you're standing there with your lukewarm coffee, thinking,

45
00:03:52.960 --> 00:03:55.960
how is it already this loud before eight in the morning.

46
00:03:57.159 --> 00:04:00.400
But here's the thing, and I need you to really

47
00:04:00.439 --> 00:04:10.599
hear this. That noise, that specific, chaotic, beautiful noise, that's

48
00:04:10.680 --> 00:04:14.319
the sound of home. We think of home as a

49
00:04:14.400 --> 00:04:20.600
place of peace, and it is just not always the

50
00:04:20.639 --> 00:04:27.839
way we imagined because silence, real silence, doesn't always mean peace.

51
00:04:29.600 --> 00:04:35.199
Sometimes it means loneliness. Sometimes it means absence. Sometimes it

52
00:04:35.279 --> 00:04:41.000
means something's missing. I've been in quiet houses before, houses

53
00:04:41.040 --> 00:04:47.160
where every footstep echoes, where you can hear yourself breathe,

54
00:04:47.279 --> 00:04:50.879
where the only sound is a clock ticking on the wall,

55
00:04:51.360 --> 00:04:56.720
reminding you that you're alone with time. Those houses are heavy,

56
00:04:57.480 --> 00:05:03.439
They feel empty, take cloud over empty every single time

57
00:05:04.519 --> 00:05:09.600
because the loud, the chaos, the noise that makes you

58
00:05:09.720 --> 00:05:13.000
want to lock yourself in a bathroom just for sixty

59
00:05:13.079 --> 00:05:20.000
seconds of silence. That's life. Happening. That's your people needing you,

60
00:05:21.120 --> 00:05:26.399
wanting you, trusting that you're their safe place too. The

61
00:05:26.439 --> 00:05:30.680
noise means someone's home, The mess means someone's living here.

62
00:05:31.439 --> 00:05:38.240
The chaos means you're needed. And yeah, it's overwhelming, Yeah

63
00:05:38.319 --> 00:05:42.680
it's exhausting. Yeah, some days you want to run away

64
00:05:43.000 --> 00:05:48.839
to a hotel room and just breathe. But that noise,

65
00:05:50.040 --> 00:05:54.079
that's the sound of your life. And it's beautiful even

66
00:05:54.160 --> 00:05:58.120
when it doesn't feel like it. I remember visiting a

67
00:05:58.120 --> 00:06:05.519
friend's house once full place, spotless, everything in place, but

68
00:06:05.600 --> 00:06:12.279
it was quiet, like eerie quiet. Their kids had grown

69
00:06:12.360 --> 00:06:16.319
up and moved out years ago, and as we sat

70
00:06:16.360 --> 00:06:21.839
there sipping coffee in her immaculate kitchen, she looked at

71
00:06:21.839 --> 00:06:25.720
me and said something I'll never forget. I would give

72
00:06:25.839 --> 00:06:30.560
anything to have sticky handprints on my windows. Again. She

73
00:06:30.639 --> 00:06:36.639
wasn't being sentimental, she was being honest, because the quiet

74
00:06:36.759 --> 00:06:41.800
she had now it wasn't the peaceful kind. It was

75
00:06:41.839 --> 00:06:46.639
the kind that reminded her of what used to fill it. Laughter,

76
00:06:47.680 --> 00:06:52.879
running footsteps, voices calling out, the sound of being needed.

77
00:06:54.639 --> 00:06:58.319
So when you're standing in your kitchen tomorrow morning, when

78
00:06:58.319 --> 00:07:02.079
the chaos is swirling around you, when you can't hear

79
00:07:02.160 --> 00:07:09.360
yourself think. Remember this is what peace actually sounds like,

80
00:07:10.480 --> 00:07:18.160
not silence, but fullness. Okay, real talk. Sometimes the loud

81
00:07:18.199 --> 00:07:21.879
doesn't feel warm. Sometimes it doesn't feel like a blessing.

82
00:07:22.720 --> 00:07:25.560
Sometimes it feels like it's crawling under your skin and

83
00:07:25.600 --> 00:07:30.720
you can't make it stop. You know those days where

84
00:07:30.800 --> 00:07:37.839
every sound is just too much, where you're so overwhelmed

85
00:07:38.519 --> 00:07:44.360
that even someone breathing near you makes you want to scream.

86
00:07:44.680 --> 00:07:49.759
Or you've been touched all day, climbed on, grabbed, needed,

87
00:07:50.800 --> 00:07:59.199
and you're just done, touched out, emotionally fried, running on empty,

88
00:07:59.199 --> 00:08:04.759
and everyone still wants more. Mom, can you help me

89
00:08:04.800 --> 00:08:10.639
with Dad? I need where's my can someone? I'm hungry,

90
00:08:10.800 --> 00:08:16.959
I'm bored. She's not sharing. He started it. And those

91
00:08:17.120 --> 00:08:21.600
moments you don't feel grateful, You feel like you're drowning.

92
00:08:23.120 --> 00:08:27.639
So you snap. You raise your voice louder than you

93
00:08:27.920 --> 00:08:33.440
meant to. You say something sharp, something you didn't mean,

94
00:08:35.159 --> 00:08:37.600
something you wish you could take back the second it

95
00:08:37.679 --> 00:08:42.919
leaves your mouth. Maybe you walk away, close the door

96
00:08:42.960 --> 00:08:47.559
a little harder than necessary, lock yourself in the bathroom,

97
00:08:47.799 --> 00:08:52.279
just for sixty seconds where no one needs you, And

98
00:08:52.320 --> 00:08:57.159
then later when the house finally settles down. When everyone's

99
00:08:57.399 --> 00:09:03.960
in bed, the gilt creeps in. You replay the moment,

100
00:09:05.279 --> 00:09:09.320
the look on their face when you snapped, the way

101
00:09:09.360 --> 00:09:14.320
their voice got small when you raised yours. You wonder

102
00:09:14.360 --> 00:09:18.919
if you're doing enough, if you're doing it right, if

103
00:09:18.919 --> 00:09:23.399
you're failing them somehow. You think about all the parents

104
00:09:23.480 --> 00:09:27.720
who seem to have it together, the ones whose Instagram

105
00:09:27.840 --> 00:09:32.679
shows nothing but smiles and patience and perfect moments, and

106
00:09:32.720 --> 00:09:35.720
you feel like you're the only one barely holding it together.

107
00:09:37.240 --> 00:09:41.399
But listen to me closely. The fact that you feel

108
00:09:41.399 --> 00:09:45.200
that guilt, the fact that it bothers you, the fact

109
00:09:45.279 --> 00:09:48.000
that you care enough to replay it and wish you'd

110
00:09:48.039 --> 00:09:53.320
done better. That means this is your safe place too.

111
00:09:53.519 --> 00:09:58.159
But safe places are where we fall apart. Think about it.

112
00:09:59.159 --> 00:10:04.320
When do you cry? I really cry? Not the polite

113
00:10:04.360 --> 00:10:09.480
tears you brush away in public. I mean the ugly cry,

114
00:10:10.679 --> 00:10:12.960
the one where you can't catch your breath and your

115
00:10:13.000 --> 00:10:17.039
face gets all red and your nose runs. You don't

116
00:10:17.039 --> 00:10:20.200
do that at the grocery store. You don't do that

117
00:10:20.279 --> 00:10:24.360
at work. You don't do that in front of strangers.

118
00:10:24.879 --> 00:10:29.000
You do that at home, because home is where you

119
00:10:29.000 --> 00:10:32.559
can fall apart and trust that someone will help you

120
00:10:32.639 --> 00:10:36.360
pick up the pieces. Home is where you can be

121
00:10:36.480 --> 00:10:40.440
your worst self and still be loved. Home is where

122
00:10:40.480 --> 00:10:44.240
you don't have to pretend. And yeah, that means it

123
00:10:44.279 --> 00:10:50.360
gets messy. It means emotions spill. It means sometimes the

124
00:10:50.440 --> 00:10:53.360
people we love the most see the parts of us

125
00:10:53.399 --> 00:10:59.159
we wish didn't exist. But that's not failure, that's trust.

126
00:10:59.799 --> 00:11:03.879
That it's safety. Last Tuesday was one of those days

127
00:11:03.879 --> 00:11:11.080
for me. Everything went wrong from the moment I woke up, overslept,

128
00:11:12.000 --> 00:11:16.360
forgot about an important meeting, spilled coffee on my shirt,

129
00:11:17.799 --> 00:11:20.720
and by the time I got home that evening I

130
00:11:20.919 --> 00:11:25.000
was a powder keg. One of the kids asked me

131
00:11:25.039 --> 00:11:29.960
a simple question, Mom, can you help me with my homework?

132
00:11:31.360 --> 00:11:38.200
And I just exploded, not because of the question, because

133
00:11:38.240 --> 00:11:43.720
everything else. I said something like, can I have five minutes,

134
00:11:44.080 --> 00:11:48.519
just five minutes where nobody needs me? And the look

135
00:11:48.559 --> 00:11:53.519
on their face, I'll never forget it. They just quietly

136
00:11:53.600 --> 00:11:58.799
said okay and walked away, and I stood there feeling

137
00:11:58.879 --> 00:12:02.399
like the worst parent on the planet. But you know

138
00:12:02.440 --> 00:12:07.600
what happened next. Twenty minutes later, after I cooled down,

139
00:12:08.399 --> 00:12:12.200
I found them, apologized explained that I had a rough day,

140
00:12:13.000 --> 00:12:17.399
but that was no excuse, and they forgave me instantly,

141
00:12:19.559 --> 00:12:23.360
because that's what family does. We hurt each other, sometimes,

142
00:12:23.519 --> 00:12:27.320
we mess up, we say things we regret, but we

143
00:12:27.440 --> 00:12:33.080
also repair, We apologize, we try again. And that's what

144
00:12:33.279 --> 00:12:39.039
makes it safe, not the absence of conflict, but the

145
00:12:39.080 --> 00:12:43.279
presence of forgiveness. Here's something I've been thinking about a

146
00:12:43.320 --> 00:12:49.000
lot lately. Out in the world. We perform. We smile

147
00:12:49.080 --> 00:12:52.639
when we don't want to. We say I'm fine when

148
00:12:52.639 --> 00:12:57.960
we're not. We hold our tongues when we want to scream.

149
00:12:58.919 --> 00:13:03.440
We swallow ours just to get through the day. Because

150
00:13:03.440 --> 00:13:07.799
the world isn't safe for honesty. Your boss doesn't want

151
00:13:07.799 --> 00:13:10.960
to hear about your bad morning. The person at the

152
00:13:11.039 --> 00:13:16.360
checkout counter doesn't care that you're overwhelmed. The other parents

153
00:13:16.399 --> 00:13:19.159
at school pickup don't need to know you've been crying

154
00:13:19.159 --> 00:13:24.399
in your car. So we mask. We put on the

155
00:13:24.519 --> 00:13:33.639
version of ourself that's acceptable, professional, polished, put together, but

156
00:13:33.720 --> 00:13:40.039
at home, at home, we unmask. That's why kids melt

157
00:13:40.120 --> 00:13:42.919
down the second they walk through the door after school,

158
00:13:44.039 --> 00:13:48.240
not because they're being dramatic, but because they've been holding

159
00:13:48.279 --> 00:13:52.360
it together all day. They've been sitting still when they

160
00:13:52.399 --> 00:13:56.759
wanted to move, following rules when they wanted to push back,

161
00:13:57.720 --> 00:14:02.279
being good when they felt wild, and home is where

162
00:14:02.360 --> 00:14:05.480
they finally feel safe enough to let it all out.

163
00:14:07.000 --> 00:14:10.399
Adults do the same thing. We walk in the door

164
00:14:10.440 --> 00:14:13.879
after a terrible day at work and we just unravel.

165
00:14:15.519 --> 00:14:18.440
We snap at the first person who asks us a question.

166
00:14:19.559 --> 00:14:22.799
We cry over something small because we can't cry about

167
00:14:22.840 --> 00:14:28.960
the big things. Yet we shut down. We isolate. We

168
00:14:29.039 --> 00:14:34.559
process not because home made us feel bad, but because

169
00:14:34.679 --> 00:14:38.000
home is finally safe enough for us to feel at all.

170
00:14:39.039 --> 00:14:43.480
This is what people don't understand about family. They see

171
00:14:43.480 --> 00:14:49.480
the fighting, the raised voices, the slammed doors, the tears,

172
00:14:51.000 --> 00:14:55.600
and they think it's broken, But it's not. It's honest.

173
00:14:56.279 --> 00:15:01.120
Family is where we stop pretending, where we show up

174
00:15:01.320 --> 00:15:07.519
as our messy, complicated, contradictory selfs and trust that will

175
00:15:07.559 --> 00:15:12.840
still be loved. That's the whole point. You can't build

176
00:15:12.840 --> 00:15:17.759
a real relationship with a mask on. You can't create

177
00:15:17.840 --> 00:15:22.840
real intimacy while performing. You can't love someone fully without

178
00:15:22.879 --> 00:15:27.440
showing them who you really are. And yeah, that means

179
00:15:27.799 --> 00:15:33.120
they see the ugly parts, the impatient parts, the selfish parts,

180
00:15:33.480 --> 00:15:37.360
the parts we're still working on. But they also see

181
00:15:37.360 --> 00:15:41.879
the real parts, the brave parts, the parts that try

182
00:15:42.039 --> 00:15:47.039
even when it's hard, the parts that apologize, that grow,

183
00:15:47.919 --> 00:15:51.600
that keep showing up. I grew up in a house

184
00:15:51.600 --> 00:15:55.919
where emotions weren't really allowed. You don't cry, you don't

185
00:15:55.919 --> 00:16:03.360
get angry, you don't make a scene. Everything was calm, controlled, quiet,

186
00:16:04.440 --> 00:16:09.200
and it was miserable because I learned to hide, to

187
00:16:09.360 --> 00:16:14.039
stuff everything down, to pretend I was fine when I wasn't.

188
00:16:15.399 --> 00:16:18.240
And when I started my own family, I knew I

189
00:16:18.279 --> 00:16:22.600
wanted something different. I wanted a home where feelings were allowed,

190
00:16:23.440 --> 00:16:26.159
where you could be angry without being punished for it,

191
00:16:26.840 --> 00:16:30.000
where you could cry without being told to toughen up,

192
00:16:30.840 --> 00:16:36.000
where you could be yourself without fear of rejection. And

193
00:16:36.080 --> 00:16:38.960
let me tell you, creating that kind of home is

194
00:16:39.039 --> 00:16:45.799
hard because it means sitting with uncomfortable emotions. It means

195
00:16:45.879 --> 00:16:50.679
not shutting down when someone's upset. It means teaching kids

196
00:16:50.960 --> 00:16:55.360
how to express themselves instead of just demanding maybe quiet.

197
00:16:56.519 --> 00:17:00.639
But it's worth it because now when my kids they're upset,

198
00:17:01.799 --> 00:17:07.000
they don't hide, they come to me. They know it's safe,

199
00:17:07.240 --> 00:17:15.519
and that's everything. Home is where we practice being human imperfect, emotional, real,

200
00:17:16.640 --> 00:17:21.319
and that's exactly what makes it safe. You ever notice

201
00:17:21.359 --> 00:17:26.160
how fast things can flip in a family, Like one minute,

202
00:17:26.480 --> 00:17:32.559
someone's furious, someone's crying, someone's stomping down the hallway yelling

203
00:17:32.720 --> 00:17:38.400
I hate this family, And five minutes later everyone's laughing

204
00:17:38.400 --> 00:17:44.599
over something completely ridiculous. That's family. Last week, one of

205
00:17:44.640 --> 00:17:48.119
my kids had an absolute meltdown, and I mean meltdown

206
00:17:48.400 --> 00:17:53.960
over socks. The socks felt weird, which apparently was my fault.

207
00:17:55.039 --> 00:17:59.759
There were tears, there was yelling, there was a sock

208
00:18:00.039 --> 00:18:05.720
thrown across the room, and I'm standing there thinking we're

209
00:18:05.759 --> 00:18:12.079
really doing this over socks. Ten minutes later, we're both

210
00:18:12.200 --> 00:18:16.720
laughing because we realized the sock was just inside out.

211
00:18:17.440 --> 00:18:22.119
That's the thing about family. We fight hard, we feel

212
00:18:22.160 --> 00:18:29.119
everything intensely, but we also forgive fast because the foundation

213
00:18:29.319 --> 00:18:35.240
is solid. See, when you know someone loves you, really

214
00:18:35.359 --> 00:18:39.920
loves you, you can get mad at them without being

215
00:18:40.039 --> 00:18:43.680
scared the leaf. You can have a bad moment without

216
00:18:43.720 --> 00:18:48.400
it defying the relationship. You can mess up without fear

217
00:18:48.559 --> 00:18:53.839
that it's over. That's what makes family different from every

218
00:18:53.880 --> 00:19:01.039
other relationship. With most people, We're careful, we guard our words,

219
00:19:01.920 --> 00:19:04.519
we worry about saying the wrong thing or showing too

220
00:19:04.599 --> 00:19:10.119
much emotion. But with family, we know we're safe enough

221
00:19:10.440 --> 00:19:13.839
to be messy. And yeah, that means we're going to

222
00:19:13.960 --> 00:19:17.599
fight sometimes, that we're going to hurt each other's feelings.

223
00:19:18.680 --> 00:19:22.440
We're gonna say things we regret, but we're also going

224
00:19:22.519 --> 00:19:26.400
to apologize. We're going to work through it, We're going

225
00:19:26.440 --> 00:19:30.079
to laugh about it later. Some of my favorite family

226
00:19:30.160 --> 00:19:34.039
memories are the ones that came right after the hard moments.

227
00:19:35.240 --> 00:19:37.519
The way we all pile on the couch after a

228
00:19:37.599 --> 00:19:44.000
disagreement and just exist together. The inside jokes that were

229
00:19:44.039 --> 00:19:49.319
born from complete disaster. The stories we tell now that

230
00:19:49.519 --> 00:19:52.880
start with remember when we all lost our minds over

231
00:19:54.519 --> 00:19:59.920
the laughter after the storm hits different. It's relief, it's connection.

232
00:20:00.079 --> 00:20:05.279
It's proof that we can weather anything together. Because we

233
00:20:05.319 --> 00:20:08.960
don't just love each other when it's easy. We love

234
00:20:09.000 --> 00:20:13.200
each other through it all. There's this thing we do

235
00:20:13.240 --> 00:20:17.680
in our family after everyone's had a rough day, after

236
00:20:17.720 --> 00:20:22.240
the tears have dried and the emotions have settled, we

237
00:20:22.359 --> 00:20:27.000
have what we call a reset moment. It's simple. We

238
00:20:27.079 --> 00:20:31.960
gather everyone together, we acknowledge what happened, and then we

239
00:20:32.000 --> 00:20:37.440
start fresh. No grudges, no bringing it up later, no

240
00:20:37.559 --> 00:20:45.000
holding it over anyone's head, just forgiveness and moving forward.

241
00:20:45.920 --> 00:20:50.839
Because here's what I've learned. Conflict isn't the enemy of connection.

242
00:20:51.960 --> 00:20:58.240
Unresolved conflict is. Fighting isn't what breaks families apart. Refusing

243
00:20:58.279 --> 00:21:03.359
to repair is so we fight and then we fix it.

244
00:21:04.599 --> 00:21:08.960
And in the fixing, that's where the real intimacy happens.

245
00:21:10.400 --> 00:21:16.799
That's where trust deepens, that's where relationships strengthen. That's where

246
00:21:16.839 --> 00:21:22.039
love proves it's real. A safe place isn't built overnight,

247
00:21:23.039 --> 00:21:29.200
and it's definitely not built on perfection. It's built on consistency.

248
00:21:29.319 --> 00:21:32.400
It's showing up even on days you don't want to,

249
00:21:33.079 --> 00:21:37.440
especially on days you don't want to. It's saying I'm

250
00:21:37.559 --> 00:21:42.400
sorry when you mess up, not because you're weak, but

251
00:21:42.559 --> 00:21:47.799
because you're teaching them that strong people take accountability. It's

252
00:21:47.880 --> 00:21:52.519
trying again tomorrow and the next day and the day

253
00:21:52.559 --> 00:21:58.680
after that. Because family isn't a one time decision, it's

254
00:21:58.720 --> 00:22:02.680
a thousand daily choice. Says to stay, to show up

255
00:22:03.119 --> 00:22:06.759
to love even when it's hard. A safe place is

256
00:22:06.839 --> 00:22:12.279
built in bedtime routines, the ones where you're exhausted but

257
00:22:12.400 --> 00:22:15.480
you still read one more chapter, the ones where you

258
00:22:15.559 --> 00:22:18.920
listen to the same story about their day even though

259
00:22:19.319 --> 00:22:23.799
you were there. The ones where you pray together, or

260
00:22:23.839 --> 00:22:26.680
talk about highs and lows, or just sit in the

261
00:22:26.799 --> 00:22:30.880
dark for a minute before you leave. It's built in

262
00:22:31.000 --> 00:22:37.279
shared meals, even the chaotic ones, especially the chaotic ones,

263
00:22:38.359 --> 00:22:42.240
the ones where someone's still something, where someone complains about

264
00:22:42.240 --> 00:22:48.640
the food, where someone won't stop making inappropriate noises, but

265
00:22:48.759 --> 00:22:55.359
you're all there together at the same table. That matters

266
00:22:55.400 --> 00:23:02.480
more than pinterest perfect place settings. Ever, it's built in

267
00:23:02.559 --> 00:23:06.880
traditions that don't look like anyone else's, the weird things

268
00:23:07.000 --> 00:23:10.559
only your family does, the inside jokes no one else

269
00:23:10.599 --> 00:23:16.799
would understand, the song you sing wrong on purpose, the

270
00:23:16.839 --> 00:23:20.680
games that have made up rules, the holidays that look

271
00:23:20.799 --> 00:23:25.799
nothing like the magazines. Those are the things they'll remember,

272
00:23:26.839 --> 00:23:31.720
not the perfect moments, the real ones. Your family doesn't

273
00:23:31.759 --> 00:23:35.240
have to be quiet to be healthy. Your family doesn't

274
00:23:35.279 --> 00:23:39.319
have to look calm to be connected. Your family doesn't

275
00:23:39.359 --> 00:23:44.200
have to be peaceful to be safe. Sometimes loud is

276
00:23:44.400 --> 00:23:49.039
just love without a filter. Sometimes chaos is just life

277
00:23:49.119 --> 00:23:54.240
happening all at once. Sometimes overwhelming is just proof that

278
00:23:54.400 --> 00:24:01.039
you're needed, wanted, essential. We have this thing we do

279
00:24:01.119 --> 00:24:07.160
every Sunday morning, pancake breakfast. Nothing fancy, just pancakes and

280
00:24:07.200 --> 00:24:13.640
bacon and way too much syrup. But it's ours. And

281
00:24:13.680 --> 00:24:17.400
even when life gets crazy during the week, even when

282
00:24:17.400 --> 00:24:22.279
we're all running in different directions, even when things feel disconnected,

283
00:24:23.240 --> 00:24:29.039
Sunday morning pancakes anchor us. It's a promise, no matter

284
00:24:29.079 --> 00:24:34.720
what happens, we'll be back at this table together. That's

285
00:24:34.720 --> 00:24:40.440
what traditions do. They create consistency, They build trust, They

286
00:24:40.480 --> 00:24:44.759
say this is who we are. And you're building something

287
00:24:45.559 --> 00:24:49.960
every single day, even on the days it doesn't feel

288
00:24:50.000 --> 00:24:55.799
like it. You're building trust, you're building security. You're building

289
00:24:55.880 --> 00:24:59.440
a foundation that will hold them long after they leave

290
00:24:59.480 --> 00:25:04.640
your house, because one day they're going to face something

291
00:25:04.720 --> 00:25:08.480
hard and they're going to think back to home, not

292
00:25:08.599 --> 00:25:12.319
the perfect version of home, the real one, and they're

293
00:25:12.359 --> 00:25:16.319
going to remember that they survived hard things before. That

294
00:25:16.400 --> 00:25:21.400
emotions are safe, that falling apart doesn't mean falling apart forever,

295
00:25:22.559 --> 00:25:26.880
that love is louder than chaos. That's what you're building,

296
00:25:27.720 --> 00:25:33.599
not a museum, a home, a launching pad, a refugee,

297
00:25:34.359 --> 00:25:38.920
a place they'll carry with them wherever they go because

298
00:25:38.920 --> 00:25:42.720
the safety you're creating now becomes the voice in their

299
00:25:42.720 --> 00:25:47.720
head later, when they face rejection, they'll hear you saying

300
00:25:48.160 --> 00:25:52.480
you're worthy. When they make mistakes, they'll hear you saying

301
00:25:52.839 --> 00:25:57.720
we all mess up. When they feel alone, they'll hear

302
00:25:57.799 --> 00:26:02.640
you saying you always have a place here. That's the

303
00:26:02.759 --> 00:26:08.880
legacy of a safe home, not perfection, but presence. One day,

304
00:26:10.000 --> 00:26:13.640
the house will be quieter. Shoes will stay where they're left.

305
00:26:14.720 --> 00:26:18.119
No one will yell from the other room asking where

306
00:26:18.119 --> 00:26:23.000
their stuff is. No one will interrupt your thoughts every

307
00:26:23.119 --> 00:26:28.519
five minutes. The bathroom will be yours again. The fridge

308
00:26:28.559 --> 00:26:34.160
won't be rated at midnight. The laundry pile won't regenerate overnight.

309
00:26:35.480 --> 00:26:38.000
You'll be able to finish a cup of coffee while

310
00:26:38.039 --> 00:26:42.920
it's still hot. Watch a show without someone asking a

311
00:26:43.039 --> 00:26:48.359
hundred questions. Go to the store without negotiating over every item,

312
00:26:50.160 --> 00:26:55.039
and you'll miss the noise. You'll miss the interruptions. You'll

313
00:26:55.039 --> 00:26:58.599
miss the chaos. You'll miss the way your name was

314
00:26:58.759 --> 00:27:06.359
said one hundred different ways in a single day. Mom, Mommy, Mom.

315
00:27:07.440 --> 00:27:11.359
You'll miss the little voice at your bedroom door at

316
00:27:11.400 --> 00:27:16.160
three am, I had a bad dream. You'll miss the

317
00:27:16.200 --> 00:27:20.400
sticky fingerprints on the windows you just cleaned. You'll miss

318
00:27:20.400 --> 00:27:23.720
the toys you used to trip over. You'll miss the

319
00:27:23.720 --> 00:27:28.920
noise that used to drive you absolutely crazy, because that

320
00:27:29.079 --> 00:27:35.440
noise that was love calling out to you, that was

321
00:27:35.480 --> 00:27:39.559
your people, trusting that you'd answer, that you'd show up,

322
00:27:40.519 --> 00:27:46.079
that you'd be their safe place. And you were, even

323
00:27:46.119 --> 00:27:50.359
on the days you felt like you were failing, even

324
00:27:50.400 --> 00:27:54.599
on the days you lost your patience, even on the

325
00:27:54.680 --> 00:27:59.200
days you locked yourself in the bathroom just to breathe

326
00:28:00.039 --> 00:28:04.240
still their safe place. My oldest is getting ready to

327
00:28:04.319 --> 00:28:08.000
leave for college soon, and I find myself doing this

328
00:28:08.119 --> 00:28:13.160
thing where I just listen to the sounds of the house,

329
00:28:15.079 --> 00:28:19.200
their footsteps coming down the stairs, their voice calling out

330
00:28:19.319 --> 00:28:23.000
asking what's for dinner, the sound of their laughter with

331
00:28:23.119 --> 00:28:29.000
their siblings, Because I know, I know these sounds won't

332
00:28:29.000 --> 00:28:32.839
fill the house forever, and it's already breaking my heart.

333
00:28:34.480 --> 00:28:36.680
So if you're in the thick of it right now,

334
00:28:38.000 --> 00:28:42.599
if your house is loud and chaotic and overwhelming, take

335
00:28:42.640 --> 00:28:49.000
a breath. Look around. This is it. This is the

336
00:28:49.079 --> 00:28:53.640
life you prayed for, the family you dreamed of, the

337
00:28:53.720 --> 00:28:58.160
home you're building, one imperfect day at a time. It

338
00:28:58.200 --> 00:29:02.160
won't always look like this, so be here for it,

339
00:29:03.559 --> 00:29:10.880
even when it's hard, especially when it's hard, because this noise,

340
00:29:12.039 --> 00:29:18.000
this beautiful, overwhelming, exhausting noise, this is the soundtrack of

341
00:29:18.039 --> 00:29:23.000
your life and one day you'll give anything to hear

342
00:29:23.039 --> 00:29:28.480
it again. So tonight, when your house is loud and

343
00:29:28.519 --> 00:29:31.880
you're tired and you just want five minutes of silence,

344
00:29:33.079 --> 00:29:39.319
remember you're standing in your safe place. Not because it's perfect,

345
00:29:40.599 --> 00:29:45.400
not because it's peaceful, not because it looks like anyone else's,

346
00:29:46.640 --> 00:29:52.440
but because it's real, because it's yours, because it's filled

347
00:29:52.440 --> 00:29:56.480
with people who trust you enough to be their full self.

348
00:29:57.720 --> 00:30:03.920
Even the loud parts, the loud parts from our loud,

349
00:30:04.319 --> 00:30:09.559
imperfect love filled, beautiful chaos of a family to yours.

350
00:30:11.440 --> 00:30:14.920
This is We are the Hansens. Thanks for being here,

351
00:30:15.599 --> 00:30:19.000
and we'll see you next time. But before I go,

352
00:30:20.359 --> 00:30:24.279
we've got something special for you. You know what makes

353
00:30:24.319 --> 00:30:28.839
a house feel like home the smell of cookies baking.

354
00:30:29.920 --> 00:30:34.279
And in our house, there's one recipe that gets requested

355
00:30:34.599 --> 00:30:40.759
more than any other. Snicker doodles. Yeah you heard that right,

356
00:30:41.880 --> 00:30:44.359
So this one's straight from our upcoming We are the

357
00:30:44.400 --> 00:30:47.640
Handsome Digital Recipe Book, and I'm going to share it

358
00:30:47.680 --> 00:30:50.960
with you right now, here's what you'll need for the cookies.

359
00:30:52.240 --> 00:30:56.119
One cup of softened butter, one and a half cups

360
00:30:56.160 --> 00:31:02.559
of white sugar, two large eggs, two and three quarter

361
00:31:02.640 --> 00:31:08.119
cups of all purpose flour, two teaspoons of creama tartar,

362
00:31:09.720 --> 00:31:14.920
one teaspoonful of baking soda, and a quarter teaspoonful of salt.

363
00:31:16.319 --> 00:31:20.119
For the cinnamon and sugar coating, three tablespoons of white

364
00:31:20.200 --> 00:31:26.000
sugar and three teaspoons of ground cinnamon. Now here's how

365
00:31:26.000 --> 00:31:31.000
you make magic happen. Preheat your oven to three seventy five.

366
00:31:32.559 --> 00:31:37.039
In a large bowl, cream together the butter and sugar

367
00:31:37.319 --> 00:31:41.759
until it's light and fluffy. Beat in those eggs one

368
00:31:41.799 --> 00:31:46.960
at a time. In a separate bowl. Combine your flour, crema, tartar,

369
00:31:47.680 --> 00:31:52.680
baking soda, and salt. Gradually blend it into your butter mixture.

370
00:31:54.079 --> 00:31:58.680
Now here's the fun part. In a small bowl, mix

371
00:31:58.759 --> 00:32:03.160
together your cinnamon and sugar. For the coating, Roll your

372
00:32:03.240 --> 00:32:08.599
dough into walnut sized balls. We're talking about two tablespoons

373
00:32:08.599 --> 00:32:12.799
of dough per cookie. Roll each ball in that cinnamon

374
00:32:12.880 --> 00:32:17.559
sugar mixture until it's completely coated. Place them on an

375
00:32:17.640 --> 00:32:22.640
ungreased cookie sheet. About two inches apart. Bake for eight

376
00:32:22.680 --> 00:32:27.000
to ten minutes. You want them just until the edges

377
00:32:27.119 --> 00:32:31.559
start to turn golden. Don't over bake them. Trust me

378
00:32:31.640 --> 00:32:36.039
on this. The center should still look slightly soft when

379
00:32:36.079 --> 00:32:39.960
you pull them out. They'll firm up as they cool.

380
00:32:41.119 --> 00:32:43.960
Let them cool on the baking sheet for about two minutes,

381
00:32:44.480 --> 00:32:48.039
then transfer them to a wire rack. And here's the

382
00:32:48.119 --> 00:32:51.880
secret our families learned over the years. These cookies are

383
00:32:51.880 --> 00:32:56.039
best when they're still slightly warm, when the outside is

384
00:32:56.119 --> 00:33:00.480
crispy with that cinnamon sugar coating, and the inn is

385
00:33:00.519 --> 00:33:04.839
soft and chewy. Pour yourself a glass of cold milk,

386
00:33:05.400 --> 00:33:10.079
grab a cookie, gather your people and enjoy the moment.

387
00:33:11.119 --> 00:33:17.559
Because that's what it's all about, right, Creating memories, building traditions,

388
00:33:18.119 --> 00:33:22.319
making your home smell like love. This recipe comes from

389
00:33:22.319 --> 00:33:27.119
our hearts to yours, straight from we are the Hanson's Kitchen.

390
00:33:27.960 --> 00:33:31.519
Try it with your family, make it your own, add

391
00:33:31.559 --> 00:33:36.119
your own twist, and when you do, take us on

392
00:33:36.160 --> 00:33:41.319
social media. We want to see your creations. All right, friends,

393
00:33:42.319 --> 00:33:46.759
that's it for this episode. From our loud, cookie filled,

394
00:33:47.079 --> 00:33:51.519
perfectly imperfect home to yours. This is we are the

395
00:33:51.599 --> 00:33:55.079
hands ins. We'll see you next time. Now go make

396
00:33:55.119 --> 00:33:55.680
some noise.