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Hey, everyone, welcome back to We Are the Hansens, the
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podcast where big family energy meets real life parenting. I'm
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Maya Hansen, your host and mom of this wild, wonderful crew.
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If this is your first time listening, bless your heart.
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You're in for a ride. And if you're one of
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our faithful listeners, welcome back to the madness. Today's episode
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is one I've been inching to talk about. It's called
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when the Chaos becomes Comfort. And if you've got more
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than let's say, three kids under your roof, you know
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exactly what I'm talking about. There's a moment somewhere in
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the journey of raising a big family where the noise
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stops being noised and starts being home. That pile of
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mismatched socks on the stairs, that's just Tuesday. The jelly
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handprint on the fridge art, the endless screaming over who
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gets the last toaster waffle, that sibling bonding character building.
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Let me paint a picture for y'all. It's seven oh
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two am, the coffee hasn't brewed yet, someone can't find
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their left shoe, and again Maddie is reminding me for
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the fifteenth time that she needs needs posterboard for her
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project due today. And in the middle of all of this,
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my husband walks by holding our little girl sock like
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it's the most normal thing in the world, and honestly
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it is. We don't always handle it well. I used
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to crave quiet like it was oxygen. I try to
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fight the noise, the clutter, and the too muchness of
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it all. But somewhere along the way, I stopped trying
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to control the storm and started dancing in the rain. Chaos,
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I realized, is the rhythm of our home, and now
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I find peace in it. Isn't that wild? Chaos is
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the calling. Embracing messiness instead of trying to fix it
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is a big thing in our house. Real life examples
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of beautiful moments found in the middle of a disaster
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is kids painting on the wall or marker getting colored
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through on the paper onto the floor. That stuff happens,
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It happens. That's just the chaos. Nothing is organized because
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you know who has time to organize When you have
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a house full of children, It's impossible. And if it
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if you do organize within five minutes, your organization is
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over done. If you're in the season where everything feels
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out of control. I honestly want you to hear this.
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You can find humor in the mess. You can turn
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tantrums into tiny tails y'all laugh about later. You can survive,
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Like the time our three year old flushed his cell
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phone down the toilet and we literally had to remove
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the whole toilet. The cell phone was stuck. It was
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just a toy cell phone and it was stuck in
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like the rounded part and we had to push it
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back up through into the bowl from the bottom of
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the toilet. Or when the kids dropped the toothpaste lid
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down the sink and we had to fish it out.
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It took a little bit. Or my personal favorite, when
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my two boys decided that they were gonna tear open
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a feathered pillow and when my niece tried to clean it,
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it plugged our vacuum. He had a lot of stories,
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and I'm not gonna tell them all here today, but
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I will eventually tell you more. If I let every
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moment like that on ravel me, i'd be in a
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padded room. But I learned if I laugh, they laugh,
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and suddenly what could have been a meltdown becomes a memory.
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I talk about that a lot because my granddaughter Riley,
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she will come over and she goes for two things,
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the dog food or I have a little like metal
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tray and it's got three candles in it and it's
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got like wood chips and little nuts around the candles.
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She goes and dumps it all over. The dog food
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she goes right to it, dumps the whole bowl. Anytime
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the kids tell me, Mom, there's a mess, I'm like, yep,
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I know, it's just Riley making memories. There is a
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strange comfort in this kind of living. The chaos is loud, yes,
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but so is the love. So is the laughter. So
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are the late night talks and the big group hugs
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and the mess that means life is happening here. I've
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learned that comfort isn't a spotless house. It's knowing that
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even if the laundry is never done, the dishes are
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piled high and the suv smell suspiciously like French fries
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and old socks, your people are fed, safe and love.
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We've built a life where the door is always open, literally,
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someone's always leaving it open, and friends and family know
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that they can walk in and grab a snack, a seat,
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or play with one of the little ones. I asked
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y'all to send in your own chaotic comfort stories, and wow,
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you did not disappoint. Here's one from Jenna in Oklahoma.
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We have six kids, and one night I came home
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to find the toddler finger painting with spaghetti sauce while
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the twins were giving the dog a haircut. I sat
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down on the floor and laughed until I cried. It
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was a disaster, but it was also the moment I
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knew that this is my life and I love it. Jenna, girl, same,
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if you're listening right now, in the middle of a mess,
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literal or emotional, I want you to know that you're
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not failing. You're just living a life full of people.
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And people are messy, but they're also magic. You don't
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need to quiet the chaos to find peace. Sometimes the
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chaos is a piece. It's what makes your house feel alive.
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It's what makes your memories rich. It's the backdrop to
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the soundtrack of your family. Raising a village is what
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we're doing. Navigating parenting styles, discipline, and the different needs
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of biological, step and adopted kids. Making every child feel
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seen and loved in a big family is most important.
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How you manage time, attention and emotional bandwidth is another
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big thing in a large family. There is power in laughter.
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Funniest moments that could only happen in a house like
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ours is having all the kids here and somebody tripping
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and falling, or the kids bickering back and forth. We
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hear so much funny stuff, or the kids just roasting
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each other just playing. Some of the stuff that our
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kids roast each other on is some of the funniest
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things we hear on a daily basis. That power of
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just listening to them is magic. Resilience through real life
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is another big one. We've gone through hardship. That's what
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shaped our family. When our anna was in the hospital
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and the nik you that was a big time. I
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realized that our family meant so much. Everybody helped, everybody
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did their share, and it all worked out. When you
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see that, it's amazing. Tools that we've used to grow
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stronger is faith, prayer, personal talks, and the big one communication.
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Communication is a big thing. There's beauty of shared struggle,
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unity and not uniformity. Teaching our kids and ourselves to
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embrace differences, dealing with conflict, constructive chaos versus destructive chaos
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and then building a legacy what we hope our children
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take with them. I have told you guys over and
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over that all the stuff that we do in our family,
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I hope my children take it with them as they
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get older and have their own children, because everything that
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we do is so much togetherness and memories that we've made,
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and those memories will last a lifetime. Teaching our kids
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responsibility and all of that. Our last boy just turned eighteen,
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and even though he's just eighteen, he's pretty dang responsible.
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Just watching them and seeing them on their own adventure
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and moving along it makes us happy. That is the
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biggest thing is teaching values through example. We try to
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show our kids example what we do. Because our kids
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are like magnets. They see everything, they hear everything. They
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are like the sponge. So teaching them by showing them
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how we are is amazing. Because they see us do it,
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they're going to do it. And then passing down stories,
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habits and humor to them is another big one. They
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can take what we've passed down to them into their
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own family and teach their kids that same thing. So
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hug your little monster's tight step over the legos leave
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the dishes for tomorrow and know that this messy, noisy,
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beautiful life you're living, it's the good stuff. Thanks for
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hanging out with me today. We are the Hansens. If
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this episode made you laugh, or cry or just feel seen,
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share it with a fellow mama or dad or chaotic
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soul who needs to hear it, and don't forget to
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go over to our YouTube channel and subscribe. You can
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send us a message on our We Are the Hanson's
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Facebook page or send us an email on We Arethehansen's
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Show at gmail dot com. Until next time, embrace the chaos,
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love your people, and remember this loud, sticky, hilarious life
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is exactly where the magic is