April 22, 2025

"When the Chaos Becomes Comfort – Thriving in the Beautiful Madness of Family Life"

"When the Chaos Becomes Comfort – Thriving in the Beautiful Madness of Family Life"

On this heartwarming episode of We Are the Hansons, we dive into the beautiful, unpredictable storm that is family life—and how, over time, the chaos becomes comfort. From loud mornings to never-ending to-do lists, we talk about the wild rhythm that somehow turns into home. Jeremy and Kelsey share real-life stories, laughs, and reflections on how the messiness of raising a big family actually builds resilience, humor, love, and connection. From toddler tantrums to teenage debates, and midnight snack attacks to Sunday serenity, we embrace it all. Learn how to stop resisting the noise and start finding the joy in it. This one’s for the parents in the trenches, the couples learning patience, and anyone who's ever looked at the madness and smiled anyway.

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Hey, everyone, welcome back to We Are the Hansens, the

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podcast where big family energy meets real life parenting. I'm

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Maya Hansen, your host and mom of this wild, wonderful crew.

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If this is your first time listening, bless your heart.

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You're in for a ride. And if you're one of

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our faithful listeners, welcome back to the madness. Today's episode

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is one I've been inching to talk about. It's called

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when the Chaos becomes Comfort. And if you've got more

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than let's say, three kids under your roof, you know

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exactly what I'm talking about. There's a moment somewhere in

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the journey of raising a big family where the noise

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stops being noised and starts being home. That pile of

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mismatched socks on the stairs, that's just Tuesday. The jelly

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handprint on the fridge art, the endless screaming over who

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gets the last toaster waffle, that sibling bonding character building.

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Let me paint a picture for y'all. It's seven oh

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two am, the coffee hasn't brewed yet, someone can't find

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their left shoe, and again Maddie is reminding me for

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the fifteenth time that she needs needs posterboard for her

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project due today. And in the middle of all of this,

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my husband walks by holding our little girl sock like

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it's the most normal thing in the world, and honestly

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it is. We don't always handle it well. I used

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to crave quiet like it was oxygen. I try to

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fight the noise, the clutter, and the too muchness of

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it all. But somewhere along the way, I stopped trying

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to control the storm and started dancing in the rain. Chaos,

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I realized, is the rhythm of our home, and now

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I find peace in it. Isn't that wild? Chaos is

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the calling. Embracing messiness instead of trying to fix it

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is a big thing in our house. Real life examples

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of beautiful moments found in the middle of a disaster

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is kids painting on the wall or marker getting colored

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through on the paper onto the floor. That stuff happens,

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It happens. That's just the chaos. Nothing is organized because

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you know who has time to organize When you have

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a house full of children, It's impossible. And if it

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if you do organize within five minutes, your organization is

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over done. If you're in the season where everything feels

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out of control. I honestly want you to hear this.

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You can find humor in the mess. You can turn

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tantrums into tiny tails y'all laugh about later. You can survive,

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Like the time our three year old flushed his cell

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phone down the toilet and we literally had to remove

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the whole toilet. The cell phone was stuck. It was

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just a toy cell phone and it was stuck in

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like the rounded part and we had to push it

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back up through into the bowl from the bottom of

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the toilet. Or when the kids dropped the toothpaste lid

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down the sink and we had to fish it out.

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It took a little bit. Or my personal favorite, when

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my two boys decided that they were gonna tear open

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a feathered pillow and when my niece tried to clean it,

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it plugged our vacuum. He had a lot of stories,

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and I'm not gonna tell them all here today, but

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I will eventually tell you more. If I let every

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moment like that on ravel me, i'd be in a

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padded room. But I learned if I laugh, they laugh,

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and suddenly what could have been a meltdown becomes a memory.

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I talk about that a lot because my granddaughter Riley,

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she will come over and she goes for two things,

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the dog food or I have a little like metal

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tray and it's got three candles in it and it's

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got like wood chips and little nuts around the candles.

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She goes and dumps it all over. The dog food

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she goes right to it, dumps the whole bowl. Anytime

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the kids tell me, Mom, there's a mess, I'm like, yep,

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I know, it's just Riley making memories. There is a

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strange comfort in this kind of living. The chaos is loud, yes,

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but so is the love. So is the laughter. So

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are the late night talks and the big group hugs

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and the mess that means life is happening here. I've

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learned that comfort isn't a spotless house. It's knowing that

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even if the laundry is never done, the dishes are

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piled high and the suv smell suspiciously like French fries

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and old socks, your people are fed, safe and love.

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We've built a life where the door is always open, literally,

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someone's always leaving it open, and friends and family know

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that they can walk in and grab a snack, a seat,

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or play with one of the little ones. I asked

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y'all to send in your own chaotic comfort stories, and wow,

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you did not disappoint. Here's one from Jenna in Oklahoma.

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We have six kids, and one night I came home

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to find the toddler finger painting with spaghetti sauce while

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the twins were giving the dog a haircut. I sat

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down on the floor and laughed until I cried. It

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was a disaster, but it was also the moment I

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knew that this is my life and I love it. Jenna, girl, same,

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if you're listening right now, in the middle of a mess,

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literal or emotional, I want you to know that you're

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not failing. You're just living a life full of people.

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And people are messy, but they're also magic. You don't

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need to quiet the chaos to find peace. Sometimes the

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chaos is a piece. It's what makes your house feel alive.

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It's what makes your memories rich. It's the backdrop to

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the soundtrack of your family. Raising a village is what

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we're doing. Navigating parenting styles, discipline, and the different needs

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of biological, step and adopted kids. Making every child feel

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seen and loved in a big family is most important.

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How you manage time, attention and emotional bandwidth is another

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big thing in a large family. There is power in laughter.

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Funniest moments that could only happen in a house like

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ours is having all the kids here and somebody tripping

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and falling, or the kids bickering back and forth. We

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hear so much funny stuff, or the kids just roasting

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each other just playing. Some of the stuff that our

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kids roast each other on is some of the funniest

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things we hear on a daily basis. That power of

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just listening to them is magic. Resilience through real life

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is another big one. We've gone through hardship. That's what

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shaped our family. When our anna was in the hospital

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and the nik you that was a big time. I

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realized that our family meant so much. Everybody helped, everybody

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did their share, and it all worked out. When you

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see that, it's amazing. Tools that we've used to grow

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stronger is faith, prayer, personal talks, and the big one communication.

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Communication is a big thing. There's beauty of shared struggle,

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unity and not uniformity. Teaching our kids and ourselves to

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embrace differences, dealing with conflict, constructive chaos versus destructive chaos

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and then building a legacy what we hope our children

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take with them. I have told you guys over and

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over that all the stuff that we do in our family,

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I hope my children take it with them as they

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get older and have their own children, because everything that

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we do is so much togetherness and memories that we've made,

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and those memories will last a lifetime. Teaching our kids

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responsibility and all of that. Our last boy just turned eighteen,

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and even though he's just eighteen, he's pretty dang responsible.

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Just watching them and seeing them on their own adventure

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and moving along it makes us happy. That is the

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biggest thing is teaching values through example. We try to

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show our kids example what we do. Because our kids

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are like magnets. They see everything, they hear everything. They

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are like the sponge. So teaching them by showing them

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how we are is amazing. Because they see us do it,

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they're going to do it. And then passing down stories,

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habits and humor to them is another big one. They

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can take what we've passed down to them into their

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own family and teach their kids that same thing. So

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hug your little monster's tight step over the legos leave

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the dishes for tomorrow and know that this messy, noisy,

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beautiful life you're living, it's the good stuff. Thanks for

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hanging out with me today. We are the Hansens. If

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this episode made you laugh, or cry or just feel seen,

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share it with a fellow mama or dad or chaotic

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soul who needs to hear it, and don't forget to

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go over to our YouTube channel and subscribe. You can

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send us a message on our We Are the Hanson's

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Facebook page or send us an email on We Arethehansen's

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Show at gmail dot com. Until next time, embrace the chaos,

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love your people, and remember this loud, sticky, hilarious life

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is exactly where the magic is