May 12, 2025
What We Thought Parenting Would Be vs. Reality | We Are the Hansons
In this hilarious and brutally honest episode of We Are the Hansons, we peel back the curtain on the great parenting expectation vs. reality gap. Remember when we thought parenting meant quiet mornings, tidy living rooms, and kids who listened? Yeah… not quite. Join us for a laughter-filled breakdown of the chaos, the mess, and the unexpected joys that come with raising a big family. It's a wild ride—and we’re here to make you feel a little less alone in it!
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Hey there, and welcome back to We are the Hansons.
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I'm your host, Maya Hanson, and today we're diving into
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one of the most relatable parenting topics ever, what we
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thought parenting would be like versus what it actually is.
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If you've ever looked around your house at seven pm
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wearing mismatch socks, holding a toddler in one hand and
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a cold cup of coffee in the other, and thought
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this is not in the brochure, This one's for you,
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So buckle up, because we're pulling back the curtain on
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parental expectations versus the beautiful, messy, real life reality. Let's
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be real, we all had that Pinterest fueled fantasy before
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having kids, you know, the one themed birthday parties with
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homemade decorations, kids in perfectly coordinated outfits, family dinners with
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everyone sharing their day over a fresh, healthy meal. I
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remember imagining peaceful bedtime stories, my kids hanging on every word,
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then then drifting off to sleep like angel. Spoiler alert,
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that happened once and it was probably a fluke. We
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expect control, routine and order. We assume our parenting style
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will be calm, organized, and dare I say it, fun
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We even tell ourselves, my kids will never act like
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that in public. Huh, that ain't happening, and then reality
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hits like a juice box thrown across the room. Parenting
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in reality is improvising ninety percent of the time. Dinner
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usually something we throw together while helping with homework, and
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tripping over a pile of the laundry. Those coordinated outfits,
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They're lucky to leave the house wearing pants. Bedtime, it's
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a full contact sport. One kid's hungry, another can't find
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their stuffed animal, and someone's having a crisis about death
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for the third night in a row. But here's a
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beautiful twist. Even in the chaos, there are these unexpected
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perfect moments. A spontaneous hug, a weird, hilarious joke that
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makes everyone laugh, a thank you whispered when you least
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expect it. The biggest difference between expectation and reality the
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idea that we'd be perfect parents. Social media doesn't help.
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It's easy to compare your worst day to someone else's filtered,
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highlighted reel, but perfection isn't the goal. Presences. We thought
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we'd teach them everything, but turns out we learn just
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as much like how to function on four hours of sleep,
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how to do algebra again, or to stay calm while
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cleaning up a glitter explosion, and that guilt we all
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feel sometimes it's normal because caring enough to worry means
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you're doing something right, You're invested, you're in it. Here's
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a twist. Parenting in real life, with all its imperfections,
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is better than the version we imagined. Why Because it's real.
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It's connection and growth. It's getting to know your child,
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not just raise them. It's witnessing their quirks, cheering their wins,
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holding space for their heartbreaks. The messy moments become inside jokes,
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the loud days turn into cherish memories, and the things
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that once drove us crazy become the stories will tell
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for the rest of our lives. Would I make this chaotic,
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beautiful reality for the perfect Pinterest parent dream? Not a chance.
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We all thought parenting would be always sweet cuddles and
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bedtime stories, kids listening the first time we asked that
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ain't ever happening, matching outfits and picture perfect family photos.
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It's hard. It's very hard, especially with thirteen kids. Home
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cooked meals every night. Well, needless to say, we do
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cook home cooked meals almost every night. Some nights we
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do order out just because we're busy, it's getting late,
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whatever it may be, it happens. Every parent goes through
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it instantly, knowing how to handle every situation that you know.
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You are not given a book about life and how
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it works. You go along like we do as parents,
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and figure it out as you go. The discipline would
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be simple and effective, and there's no such thing as
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simple family vacations being relaxing. Most of the time, our
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family vacations are relaxing. There are sometimes that it is chaotic.
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Are home always feeling joyful and peaceful? Well, guys, I
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hate to say it, but with thirteen kids, it's definitely joyful,
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but definitely not always peaceful. Love alone would be enough
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to guide us. There is more to life than just love.
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There is a lot more that we'd never say the
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things our parents said to us as kids, And I've
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caught myself saying some of those things, And I catch
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myself and I think, man, I've heard that a million times.
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What parenting is actually like cuddles, yes, but also sleepless nights,
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in constant messes, repeating ourselves a lot and a lot,
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and a lot is normal for us. Someone always has
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a stain or tear or a missing shoe, never ends.
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Sometimes it's cereal for dinner, and that's okay. When we're
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busy and it's getting late. Sometimes we don't have time
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to order, so we just pick what we have here.
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Constantly learning, guessing, and adjusting is true. Discipline takes creativity, consistency,
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and patience, and it does vacations, same chaos, new location
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every time, a mix of chaos, laughter, and occasional shouting.
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Love is the foundation, but we need structure, support and
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grace too. Yep, we've said it, because I said so
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more than once. Kids would be just like us, so
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we'd understand them easy. We'd always be patient and calm.
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We'd have time for date nights, hobbies and self care.
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Our kids would love everything we cook. Hu wouldn't that
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be a miracle? Milestones would be magical and full of
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happy tears. We'd never need help. We'd figure it out
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all on our own. School mornings would run smoothly, with
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a routine screen time, only educational shows and only in
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moderation that doesn't happen. Tours would be fun, family bonding activity,
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not we'd stay organized with perfect schedules and chort charts.
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We try, We definitely try. Every child is widely different
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and they challenge us in different ways. We lose our
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patience sometimes, and that's okay. We're only human. Self care
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often looks like hiding in the bathroom for five minutes.
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Picky eaters everywhere, and someone always wants a snack right
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after dinner. Milestones come with bitterness, emotion, anxiety, and paperwork.
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We lean on others more than we thought we ever would.
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School mornings lost, shoe spilled cereal and yelling, get in
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the van organized. Chaos is the name of the game
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and that's our rhythm. Now. So where do we land?
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Are you still holding on to some expectations or are you,
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like us, riding the wave of real life parenting and
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learning as you go. Here's a takeaway. Let go of
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the pressure to match the fantasy, embrace your unique parenting style,
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laugh at the mess, celebrate the wins, no matter how small,
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because this version of parenting, the unscripted, unfiltered one, is
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the one your kids will remember, and they'll remember that
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you showed up, that you love them through it all.
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Thanks for spending time with me today on We Are
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the Hansens. Make sure you get over to our YouTube
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channel and subscribe and share this episode with a fellow
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parent who needs to know they're doing better than they think.
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And remember the reality might not be perfect, but it's
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perfectly ours. Until next time, keep loving, keep laughing, and
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keep surviving the chaos. You've got this
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