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Welcome to We are the Hansens.
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Where we talk about family, we talk about life, we
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talk about marriage, we talk about pretty much everything on
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this channel. If it's happened to us, it's going to
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be on this channel. And sometimes that's good, sometimes it's not.
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But I am Jeremy Anson, the husband of Maya Hanson,
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and you know, once in a while I will do
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a show on here. Sometimes i'll do one with her.
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But there are some things that are very hard.
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To teach, and I want to talk about one of
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them today, teaching other young men about what it.
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Requires, not about what you want a but.
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What it requires to be a good husband and a
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good father. I personally think that the world would be
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a much better place with a strong father and a
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strong mother in every home. And the only way we
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can do that is to get back to the basis
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of what it really is to be good at it,
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to want it, to love it, to do the things
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that I have been trying to do now. Number One,
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I would say this, folks, I would say that you're
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always on a journey. Literally, you're always on a journey
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to get better. I do a political I do a
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political podcast too, but I also do probably that this
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is my favorite podcast, and then I have a comedy one,
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and I do four different ones, but my favorite is
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about business and I talk about success and I talk
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about happiness all the time in that podcast. But the
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thing that I say about that is that success and
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that happiness that is not a destination. Okay, it's the journey.
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It's all part of the journey. So you're constant learning.
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You're trying to get better all the time. There's so
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many things that you need to learn, like patience and
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how to learn and you know, love, empathy, all these
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different things that you're always constantly evolving in your journey
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of life with and today, you know, there's some simple
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things that I wanted to talk about about being a
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father and a husband.
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Okay.
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Number one, you got to know that you're never going
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to be perfect, You're never you are human, but it
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is your job to be the best role model for
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your wife first, then for your children, and then for
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your community. You can't believe how many different times we
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have other kids come over and the kids, you can
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just see it in their eyes, you can see it
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in their face that they are yearning so bad for
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a father, that they want a father. They want that connection,
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they want the little things they see. I learned a
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lot from my father and my mother. I learned a
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lot from my grandfather's and my grandmother's you know, mostly good.
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And I try to be the best that I can be,
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and I try to prepare.
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It's really hard as a father because.
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The people that you want to spend all your time
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with your children, you're literally preparing them to spend all
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their time without you. And you know, that gets really
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really hard sometimes, I mean thinking about that. I saw
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a short video where the guy says what's the best
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part about being a dad, And he says, watching your
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kids grow up? And then he says, well, what's the
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hardest part about being a dad? And it literally is
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watching your kids grow up. You know, I've got thirteen kids,
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seven sons, six daughters, and it makes you have a
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lot of pride, and it makes you have love, and
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it makes you have those things seeing them grow up
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and become good men and women, productive in society, happy,
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you know, successful, chasing their dreams, living life, I mean
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literally living life. And you know, I don't agree with
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all the people that write books about this kind of
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thing about being a father and what I want my
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kids to do. I want my kids to be happy, absolutely.
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Do I want them to be successful? Absolutely?
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But am I doing enough? Then?
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I ask myself this every day? What could I do better?
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And am I doing enough to make sure to ensure
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that I am setting them up to be successful to
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be happy? Do you guys ever think like that? Do
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you ever ask yourself? Am I good enough? I mean,
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when things get mundane and you keep doing the same
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things over and over again, do you ever to stop
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and say, what can I do better to be a
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better man?
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Now?
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For me, it's a little bit easier than most. Like
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some guys they find out that they're going to have
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a baby, and their whole world gets turned upside down.
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You know, maybe it wasn't part of the plan, maybe
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it wasn't goals, but it wouldn't have happened if it
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wasn't supposed to happen. And it's part of responsibility. Part
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of being a good father and a good husband is responsibility.
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But I think the number one most important thing is
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just time. Your most valuable asset in the world forever
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is your time. So be there when it matters. Okay,
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not just when it matters to you, but when it
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matters to them.
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My oldest daughter the other.
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Day made a TikTok and she was talking about her
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being there for kids. Single mother, works full time job,
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plus goes to school, plus she's a TikTok whatever you
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call them, and she still makes time to volunteer. She
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still makes time to go to the kids's shows. I'm
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talking about my grandkids. She still makes the time because
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to them it matters. My kids, my daughters just yesterday
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they set up a movie night where I'm busy working,
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and they're, hey, Dad, you got to come and do this.
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You got to come and do this, and it's important
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for you to just take the time.
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Okay, the bills will always be their work will always
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be there, making money will always be there, So take
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some time and spend it with your kids. You need
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to make moments stand out, I mean really stand out
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in your family.
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You know, you need to pay attention.
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You need to know what's going on, even though it
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can become mundane and it really doesn't feel that important
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to you. It's not about what's important to you in
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the macro. Maybe the micro, but in the macro, it's
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about what is important to them. So teaching your kids
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how to ride a bike, teaching them how to fish,
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sitting down and watching a movie with them, being there
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when they go through a breakup, or talking to them
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when they get good grades on their report card, or
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when they figured something out, or just walking up and
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doing something. Now with all my kids, you know, sometimes
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my boys might get a little embarrassed because I tell
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them I love them. When I leave their presence, I
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tell them that I love them. I don't care if
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they're at school, I don't care if they're with twenty friends,
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and I will give them a big hug, say I
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love you, because it's important. Not only is it important
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for them, their friends should know what a strong man
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looks like. A strong man doesn't care what other people
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think when he's dealing with the people that he loves.
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I respect my father a lot, and I asked my
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dad looking for anything out there. I was like, if
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you could change one thing, just one thing about your life,
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what would it be?
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My dad.
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I was a good dad, but he was very busy man.
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He is successful, he's happy, he's got a wonderful wife.
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You know, nice house, nice vehicle. I mean, he's got
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it all.
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But I asked him, and he said, you know, one
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thing I would change is I wouldn't have worked as much. Now,
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coming from a son of a dad like that, it
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almost knocked me over. It like took the wind out
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of me. Because his values had changed as he got older,
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and as he looked back on his life and he
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decided what was important and what was not important, or
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at least putting a list together of what is most important,
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what his goals were. It had moved because the most
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important thing to him was creating memories. Because he told me,
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you know, when you get older, when the gold and
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the money kind of fades away, it's not so shiny anymore,
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and you have all the things, the only really thing
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that you really have are the memories that you created.
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And you know, I started thinking about that, and when
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I think about our Christmases and Birthdays, I remember a
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sum but very few of the presence that I got
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at any time. But I'll tell you what, I can
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go through almost every single year of Christmas and tell
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you a memory about Christmas, about something that happened, something
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that was funny. I talked, that we had something that
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was going on. I can remember, and it shrinks the
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importance of money down. And when you start shrinking the
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importance of money down, what you start seeing is that
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the importance of time starts getting bigger. So don't miss
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out on things. Go to as many. I mean, life's
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going to get in the way. It just it is
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what it is. Life happens sometimes. But try to get
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to their sporting events and their recitals. And if you've
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got anniversaries or you've got family reunions or birthdays or
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any of that, do everything you can, not only for
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your children, but for your spouse. Make sure that you're
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on the same wavelength with your spouse. Guys, as far
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as being a father and being a husband, it is
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your job to go over and above.
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You are the leader within the home.
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You are your daughter's hero, and you are exactly the
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man that your sons are going to be. Now that
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should scare the hell out of you, guys, that it
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is that important. Okay, you are going to be your
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daughter's hero.
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Your daughters are.
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Going to pick a guy that treats her like you
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treat your wife, and the sons are going to look
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at you and they are going to become a mini
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version of you. That is a fact. You can look
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at the statistics. That's just the way that it happens, okay.
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I would also say that you have to show interest
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in your spouse and kids. If you're one of those
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guys and like, let's say you have an addiction to
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something and your wife, ain't it you guys know what
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I'm saying. You've got a serious issue. You got a problem.
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I've been with my wife for twenty two years now,
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and I still think that she's the hottest chick I
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ever met. She's still my best friend. I still get
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those feelings, do you know what I'm saying. In Sometimes
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if you don't feel that way anymore, or you've lost
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interests or something thing, there's a reason for that, and
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usually it's not them. Most of the time, it's us, okay,
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And you have to learn how to get back to
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the place where you remember her in a way, your
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point of view.
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A lot of it is your point of view and
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your kids.
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I see so many guys all the time that have
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these outstanding, awesome kids, and they don't want to spend time.
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They'd rather go out with their buddies and go drinking.
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They'd rather, you know, go do this, go do that.
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When they come home. You know, kids are meant to
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be seen, not heard. That type of thing that doesn't
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work anymore. If you want to do what you should do,
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if you want to take full responsibility of the things
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that you've created or building your legacy, you're going to
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make sure that you have interest in your spouse. And
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if things aren't better, water the lawn. Make them better.
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Now.
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I know, I know logically it can be really really
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hard to fix things or to work on things. But
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if you're going to be a good spouse, you need
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to work on things. You need to do it logically.
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You need to.
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Decompartmentalize the things that are blocking you. And if it
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has to do with your kids, you're not showing interest
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in your kids.
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That's very odd for me.
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I can't imagine a father not wanting something to do
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with kids, or being interested in what the kids are doing,
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or how they're doing, or how they're feeling, or how
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they are developing into this machine that is going to
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be successful and happy. But you need to pay attention
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and you need to show interest. You know, you really
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should every once in a while write down well just
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take just questions you don't want chat GPT five questions
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I should know about my child. What's their favorite color,
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what's their favorite cartoon? Why is it their favorite cartoon?
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What's their favorite class at school? Why is it their
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favorite class? What interest do they have that you don't
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have that maybe you can get involved in to make
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sure that they know that, hey, we think you're cool.
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It gives them self confidence, It makes them be better