Feb. 24, 2025
We Are The Hansons The Importance of Showing Our Kids Responsibility
As parents, one of the greatest lessons we can teach our children is responsibility. At We Are the Hansons, we believe that instilling responsibility at a young age helps shape independent, confident, and capable individuals. Through daily tasks, teamwork, and leading by example, we show our kids the value of taking ownership of their actions and commitments.Whether it’s caring for a pet, completing chores, or managing their time wisely, these small responsibilities teach life-long skills. Responsibility fosters discipline, accountability, and a strong work ethic—traits that will benefit them well into adulthood. By encouraging our children to take on tasks with patience and guidance, we help them build character, self-reliance, and pride in their achievements.At the end of the day, raising responsible children isn’t just about teaching them to do tasks—it’s about preparing them to navigate the world with confidence and integrity. That’s what We Are the Hansons is all about.
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Welcome back to We are the hands that today we're
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diving into a big topic, responsibility. As parents of a
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large family, we know firsthand how important it is to
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teach our kids to be responsible from a young age
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or responsibility is it just about.
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Tours or taking care of their things. It's about shaping
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them into capable and dependable adults.
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Let's talk about how we instill responsibility in our kids
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and why it matters so much in our family.
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I'm going to start off by saying responsibility is one
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of the biggest life skills we can get our children.
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When kids learn responsibility, they gain confidence, independence, and a
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sense of accomplishment. They also learn accountability, understanding that their
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actions have consequences, whether it good or bad. If we
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don't teach our kids' responsibility, they might struggle with discipline,
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decision making, and even relationships in the future. For us,
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raising responsible kids isn't just about making our lives easier,
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though it certainly helps.
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It's about preparing them.
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For the real world, where they will have to manage
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their time, commitments, and personal responsibilities without constant reminders from
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us as parents. You know, with so many kids in
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our household, we've developed different ways to teach responsibility based
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on their ages and personalities. Here are some of the
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main ways we do it, you know, giving age appropriate chores.
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Every child in our home has responsibilities that match their
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age and ability. Our younger kids, they might be in
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charge of simple tasks like putting their toys away, while
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the older ones help with dishes, laundry, or meal prepping,
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which we don't do a lot of meal prepping just
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because things change for us day to day, so we
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don't really have a lot of time because we're so busy,
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so meal prepping usually doesn't happen here, but sometimes we
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do it just depends on the week. I guess you know,
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these tours aren't just about getting things done. They help
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our kids feel like valuable members in the family. When
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I give my kids a task, they usually if they
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they know that it's gonna help them in some type
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of way, whether it be being able to go to
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a friend's house or being able to do something, play
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on their tablets or whatnot. That helps my kids with motivation.
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I guess you could say I watch the little ones
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more than the older ones because the little ones are
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more into Like I can say, if.
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You clean your room will do this.
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Or I can say, if you clean your room, I'll
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take you to the dollar tree and you might get
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to pick out something, and nine times out of ten
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they will clean that room spotless, not just pick up.
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The older kids, none of them really do laundry, just
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because they tend to overload the wash machine. That being said,
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they have other things to do. They have to clean
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their own rooms. They have to help take out trash,
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they have to help clean the table off in the kitchen,
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do dishes, wipe down counters, stuff like that. So everybody's
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helping somewhere. Sometimes if dad's outside doing car work, you know,
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changing oil, putting brakes on, the older ones are out
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there helping and learning.
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At the same time.
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We try to teach the older ones how to do
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all that stuff because it teaches them to be responsible
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with their own vehicles, making sure their oil gets changed,
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making sure their breaks are taken care of. It's teaching
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them to be responsible. I never usually have to worry
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about anything like that with the older kids. Morgan, on
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the other hand, she tends to slack a little bit
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on her oil changes, but she means to do it.
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She just very forgetful, very busy, so sometimes that does happen.
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Kids learn best by watching us as parents or adults,
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like grandparents seeing them do it, parents seeing them do it,
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aunts and uncle seeing them do it.
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They learn by us if.
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They see us taking the responsibility for our actions. Even
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if there's an argument and one of us is wrong,
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we take accountability for that.
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We are responsible for.
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That, admitting when we make mistakes and following through on commitments.
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They'll naturally start to do the same. If we tell
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them to clean up after themselves but never do it ourselves,
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they're gonna notice that disconnect. I am always cleaning. I
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just I enjoy it and it's very relaxing to me.
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I'm always cleaning, and my kids see that. Toring my
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eight year old, she especially is following that footstep. She
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does tend to mess up a lot. But if I
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say clean up, she's always the one. Or I'll say, Torrin,
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I need your help. We need to clean the table
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off and wipe it down. She will help. She is
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the first one that responds. We try to let natural
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consequences do the teaching when possible. If one of our
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children forgets something at home, they learn to double check
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next time, like my son Gavin, he always forgets his
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wallet before he leaves for work. He will sit it
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down and walk out the door, and I'm calling him, hey,
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you forgot your wallet. And then usually the next time
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he'll remember, and then he'll forget again.
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So it's just a habit too.
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If they don't do their laundry, they'll run out of
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their favorite clothes. Usually I'm the one that does the laundry,
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but if it is not in the dirty clothes basket,
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well I'm not going searching for it.
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So they learn that way too.
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They have to bring their clothes and put them into
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that clothes basket in order for their clothes to be washed.
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These lessons stick better than constant nagging. I'm not going
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to sit there and nag them twenty four to seven,
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get your dirty clothes out, take the dishes to the sink.
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They need to learn that responsibility. I can say it
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one time and I won't say it no more. Instead
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of jumping in to fix everything, we ask questions to
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guide them towards a solution. If one of the kids forgets,
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like Gavin forgets his wallet at home or something, instead
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of running it to them, we ask what can you do?
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To make sure it doesn't happen again, like you have
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to start remembering that stuff. This helps them develop critical
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thinking and accountability. We encourage our kids to take ownership
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of their schedules. Every child has a schedule, or at
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least in our home, and part of that schedule is
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remembering what you have to.
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Do that day.
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We do it day by day because the whole week
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would just confuse them. So we start off Monday, What
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do you got to do Monday? And I'll say that
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to them, especially the younger ones, and they will usually
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go through and tell me what they have to do.
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It's just a responsibility that we give them to remember
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what they have to do that day, and they're pretty
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good about that. The sooner they learn time management, the
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better prepared they'll be for adult I've watched it with
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the older kids, learning how to manage their time, not
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forget their stuff, you know, get everything together the night before.
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That way, when you're running out the door for college
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or work, you can just grab it and go in
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the morning. You don't have to worry about running around
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like a chicken with your head cut off, grabbing it
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and going. And I see that all the time with
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our older kids. They are very responsible children, and it's
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because we've instilled in them that these are the steps
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you need to take. You have to be the responsible
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one doing your laundry. When do you do your laundry?
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Pick a day.
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Usually the older kids like to do their laundry Saturday
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or Sunday. They do all their laundry for the week,
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and then it's done Saturday and Sunday come around and
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they're right back at laundry. So I've seen them do
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that a lot. Let's be honest, teaching responsibility isn't always easy.
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Sometimes it feels like, uh, you know, it would be
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quicker and easier to just do things ourself.
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But we can't do that.
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There are times when our kids push back, they complain,
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or even fail, but failure is part of that process.
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When they mess up, it's a chance for growth. I mean,
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we can't be there every single day twenty four to
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seven to show them how to be responsible. They have
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to learn by watching and by getting told. Eventually, you're
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not going to be there to do that, so they
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have to take the initiative first their actions. There's also
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the challenge of finding the balance between responsibility and overwhelming
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them when we want our kids to be responsible, but
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we don't want to load them with so much that
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they feel stressed or burnt out. We keep an open
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dialogue with them to make sure they feel supported while
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still being challenged.
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And it's not that hard. It really is not that hard. One.
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I don't want to be that nagging mom that's always hounding,
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but I also want them to learn from me the
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first time, so I try and be as stern as
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I can to let them know that listen, this is
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your responsibility. You need to figure it out and take action.
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The best part of teaching responsibility is seeing the long
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term benefits in our kids. We've watched our older kids
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step up as leaders, not just in our home, but
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in school, in sports, and in work. They've learned the
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value of hard work, the importance of keeping their word,
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and the satisfaction of a job well done. Seeing them
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become independent and reliable young adults makes all the.
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Effort worth it.
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I'm sure a lot of you know what I mean
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by that. Sometimes kids don't want to be responsible, and
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you can sit there and drill them and drill them
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and drill them. I'm going to tell you a little story.
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Our son Gavin, he is the youngest boy. For a
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long time, he wouldn't listen. He just he was very stubborn.
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I always told myself, I got to try and break
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him of that stubbornness, because you could tell him one
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thing and it would just go right out his ears
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and he would do the total opposite. And I would
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always get on him about his schoolwork in middle school
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and the beginning of high school, and I would be like, Gavin,
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you are so much better than this. His teacher said, Man,
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he works so hard, but he always forgets to.
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Turn in his homework.
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And I'm like, hmm, she said, if he would just
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do his homework and turn it in as soon as
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it's done instead of waiting four days to turn it in,
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he would be an ab student. But here he's sitting
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at a sea because he doesn't turn in his homework.
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I thought to myself, how can I fix this so
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that he will turn in his homework. So I was
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like Gavin, from now on, when you complete your assignment,
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turn it in right away. Don't put it in your folder,
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fuck it up, stick it in the basket, stick it
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on the teacher's desk wherever they want you to turn
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it in at turn it in, he says, Mom, Well,
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sometimes she tells us to hold on to it till
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the next day. I just forget to turn it in.
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I told him, from now on, even if she tells
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you to hold on to him, turn it in right away.
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That way you never forget. And if she says anything
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to you, tell her your mom told you to because
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you're forgetful. So I noticed he was doing a lot
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better with turning in his homework. I had reached out
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to his teacher a couple weeks later and I was like,
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you know, I'm just checking in to see how Gavin's
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doing with his schoolwork getting it turned in on time.
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And she's like, he's doing pretty good. He's doing a
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lot better than what he was, but he's still forgetting.
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I told him, I was like, Gavin, you cannot forget
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because you're killing your grade. Eventually, I noticed that he
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was doing a lot better. I mean to the point
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where his grade was staying between an A and a
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B and it wasn't dropping below that. You know, that
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was his responsibility to make sure it got turned in.
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And I think, you know, just my two talks to
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him helped a lot, because I always tell my kids,
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I know you guys can do the work. You just
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got to do it. You guys are super smart kids,
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and if you put time and effort into it, you
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can do it. And I'm going to tell you, I
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see how hard my kids work at stuff. Like Tristan
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in middle school. Tristan really struggled in middle school. He
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was very quiet, didn't say a lot. He was scared
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to ask for help. Even though all the teachers were
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openly and willing to help him, he was scared to ask.
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So he was starting to struggle and I was like, Tristan,
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you shouldn't be struggling.
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You know this stuff.
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Well, what he was doing was he was second guessing
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his answers and then he'd redo it and he'd get
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the wrong answer, even though the first answer he got
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was correct. Needless to say, his teacher helped him. He
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told him, don't stuck and guess yourself. You know this,
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You're very smart. Take your time and do it. So
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