Feb. 18, 2025

We Are the Hansons: Secrets to a Strong & Thriving Young Relationship

We Are the Hansons: Secrets to a Strong & Thriving Young Relationship
Apple Podcasts podcast player icon Spotify podcast player icon
Apple Podcasts podcast player icon Spotify podcast player icon

In this heartfelt episode of We Are the Hansons, we dive into the secrets of building a lasting and thriving relationship—especially for younger couples. From overcoming challenges to strengthening communication, we share our personal experiences, lessons learned, and the key habits that have kept our love strong. Whether you're just starting out or looking to deepen your bond, this episode is packed with real, honest advice and plenty of laughs along the way. Tune in for insights, fun stories, and the truth about what it takes to make love last!

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/we-are-the-hanson-s-family-life-practical-tips-self-care--6044253/support.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

WEBVTT

1
00:00:01.159 --> 00:00:15.480
Welcome to We are the Hansons. Oh yeah, can you

2
00:00:15.519 --> 00:00:16.679
feel it? Can you feel it?

3
00:00:16.760 --> 00:00:18.359
My own I can feel it?

4
00:00:18.559 --> 00:00:25.039
Yeah, it doesn't feel good. It's an important topic today,

5
00:00:26.519 --> 00:00:30.280
secrets to stand together. We got a few tricks up

6
00:00:30.280 --> 00:00:34.320
our sleeves. It's like, right at the pinnacle of twenty

7
00:00:34.479 --> 00:00:37.479
two years, you've had the pleasure of being with me.

8
00:00:38.200 --> 00:00:39.399
That's the other way around.

9
00:00:39.560 --> 00:00:43.280
Well, it may be, but twenty two years that's a

10
00:00:43.320 --> 00:00:45.159
long time, but it's not near as long as some

11
00:00:45.200 --> 00:00:49.000
of the people we know with fifty fifty five years

12
00:00:49.520 --> 00:00:53.320
being married. It's work, but you know, it's fun, you

13
00:00:53.359 --> 00:00:54.000
know what I'm saying.

14
00:00:54.320 --> 00:00:56.880
Yes, my mom and dad are a prime example of that.

15
00:00:57.359 --> 00:00:59.920
Yeah, that's man, how many years.

16
00:01:01.679 --> 00:01:04.079
I don't even know. It's a lot of lost.

17
00:01:04.560 --> 00:01:09.959
A lot, I guess what. The secrets to stay together

18
00:01:10.760 --> 00:01:13.000
it's not that you don't fight or proof of that

19
00:01:14.280 --> 00:01:20.000
your parents, you know what I'm saying. Yeah, it's just

20
00:01:20.959 --> 00:01:23.879
the things, you know, the things I think that we

21
00:01:23.959 --> 00:01:25.519
take for granted today. What do you think?

22
00:01:26.680 --> 00:01:27.599
I think so?

23
00:01:28.840 --> 00:01:33.120
You think so? Yeah, I'm just feeling us not feeling

24
00:01:33.120 --> 00:01:42.719
it up the key. Okay, what what's your secret? Tell me? Ron?

25
00:01:43.200 --> 00:01:47.680
Tell us the secret what's your secret to keeping things together?

26
00:01:48.480 --> 00:01:53.439
You got to be strong, is it strong? I mean

27
00:01:53.480 --> 00:01:55.159
we've been through a lot of stuff.

28
00:01:55.400 --> 00:01:56.799
Oh, we've been through a lot of stuff. But do

29
00:01:56.799 --> 00:01:58.799
you think that's a secret to staying together?

30
00:02:00.359 --> 00:02:04.120
Well, what's your secret? Well, I asked you first, Well,

31
00:02:04.120 --> 00:02:05.079
I want to hear yours.

32
00:02:05.280 --> 00:02:07.599
Yeah, well, of course, because that makes it easier. No,

33
00:02:09.039 --> 00:02:10.639
for those of you that don't know, I'm going to

34
00:02:10.680 --> 00:02:14.199
tell you this is how we met. I was actually

35
00:02:14.240 --> 00:02:18.560
going through a divorce. My ex wife had moved out

36
00:02:18.599 --> 00:02:20.639
of the house and it had been three, four or

37
00:02:20.680 --> 00:02:25.199
five months, and I just started getting lonely talking to people.

38
00:02:25.439 --> 00:02:27.719
It was just me and my kids at home at

39
00:02:27.719 --> 00:02:31.280
the time, and you know, she wasn't around, so just

40
00:02:31.360 --> 00:02:33.759
you know, adds an adult, it gets lonely, you know

41
00:02:33.759 --> 00:02:39.400
what I'm saying. Yes, So I started talking just with

42
00:02:39.560 --> 00:02:44.439
random people and I met you on Wisconsin Chat four

43
00:02:45.599 --> 00:02:48.479
I think, or was it eight. I was six six

44
00:02:48.639 --> 00:02:50.680
four six eight, you know, it was an even number.

45
00:02:50.680 --> 00:02:53.919
I knew that it's on Yah Yahoo chat. And we

46
00:02:53.960 --> 00:02:57.639
started talking to we became friends, I mean, just talking normally.

47
00:02:59.080 --> 00:03:01.680
And then it was like and I think I was

48
00:03:01.719 --> 00:03:05.120
twenty two, twenty three, You were sixteen or seventeen. This

49
00:03:05.159 --> 00:03:07.479
is when we became friends. We'd never met each other.

50
00:03:07.520 --> 00:03:09.599
We had a few other like we were in a

51
00:03:09.639 --> 00:03:14.360
friend group on there. Yeah, and it was kind of weird.

52
00:03:14.680 --> 00:03:19.639
I had met your dad before that, small town you know,

53
00:03:20.000 --> 00:03:23.599
small town Midwestern stuff. And it was a couple of

54
00:03:23.680 --> 00:03:27.080
years after that that we actually met. Do you remember that.

55
00:03:27.560 --> 00:03:27.879
Yes.

56
00:03:28.680 --> 00:03:32.520
So, you know, when you come into a relationship, especially

57
00:03:32.719 --> 00:03:36.120
a internet relationship, people make fun of that all the time.

58
00:03:37.560 --> 00:03:40.199
You don't really know what to expect, do you. No.

59
00:03:41.560 --> 00:03:46.360
So anyways, folks, so this one girl that I was

60
00:03:46.639 --> 00:03:51.840
seeing at the time, different than you, I had stopped down,

61
00:03:52.240 --> 00:03:55.159
we had met and stuff, and we had became friends.

62
00:03:55.280 --> 00:03:59.639
And just one day you said, Hey, I'm coming with

63
00:03:59.680 --> 00:04:01.479
you up to your house this weekend. You remember that.

64
00:04:01.639 --> 00:04:02.520
I do remember that.

65
00:04:02.919 --> 00:04:05.759
And again it was just friendship at that point, yes,

66
00:04:06.000 --> 00:04:07.919
And I had a friend and you had a friend,

67
00:04:07.919 --> 00:04:11.120
and you know how the friend thing goes. And we

68
00:04:11.159 --> 00:04:15.800
went up that weekend, and I knew at that point that,

69
00:04:16.360 --> 00:04:18.680
you know, I liked you as more than a friend.

70
00:04:19.199 --> 00:04:22.360
But I really wasn't pushing the limits of dating anybody

71
00:04:22.399 --> 00:04:24.639
just because of the horror show that I was going

72
00:04:24.680 --> 00:04:25.480
through at that time.

73
00:04:26.439 --> 00:04:32.800
Yep, and we kind of just hit it off.

74
00:04:32.839 --> 00:04:35.639
I guess, well we did, and you had the same thing.

75
00:04:35.680 --> 00:04:39.399
You were like, Man, this guy is hot, right, I

76
00:04:39.399 --> 00:04:42.439
mean that's what you thought, right? Was that like a

77
00:04:42.480 --> 00:04:46.199
cute geek? Or was I like? I mean you you

78
00:04:46.240 --> 00:04:48.240
had a nickname for me. Do you remember what it was?

79
00:04:49.240 --> 00:04:53.920
That's right? Because I was still am Yeah. So anyways,

80
00:04:54.000 --> 00:04:57.600
just for a little backdrop, that's that's how we got together.

81
00:04:57.639 --> 00:04:59.680
Maybe we'll do a whole show because we could go

82
00:04:59.720 --> 00:05:04.839
for just talking about that. It was fun. It was,

83
00:05:05.120 --> 00:05:08.920
you know, very sporadic, like just out of the blue

84
00:05:09.079 --> 00:05:13.480
type stuff. But when me and you got together, it

85
00:05:13.600 --> 00:05:16.759
was kind of weird. We were like pieces in a

86
00:05:16.759 --> 00:05:20.120
puzzle and I knew what I wanted and you knew

87
00:05:20.160 --> 00:05:23.040
what you wanted, and we kind of just agreed. I mean,

88
00:05:23.040 --> 00:05:24.839
it wasn't like a thing that we had to talk

89
00:05:24.920 --> 00:05:27.920
through or anything like that. This is what we wanted

90
00:05:27.959 --> 00:05:30.759
out of a relationship. And I think at first you

91
00:05:30.800 --> 00:05:32.839
didn't really think that it was going to last very

92
00:05:32.839 --> 00:05:34.519
long because you thought I was a player.

93
00:05:35.160 --> 00:05:37.959
I did. I thought you were because you had a

94
00:05:38.000 --> 00:05:39.439
lot of chicks digging you.

95
00:05:40.160 --> 00:05:42.120
Yeah, but I wasn't dating all of them. I mean

96
00:05:42.199 --> 00:05:42.759
just just.

97
00:05:42.720 --> 00:05:45.160
Well that I know of you weren't.

98
00:05:45.160 --> 00:05:47.079
Well no, I mean, it just it was what it was.

99
00:05:48.439 --> 00:05:52.759
And you know, so we started dating and it was

100
00:05:52.800 --> 00:05:55.759
like just fast and furious from the beginning. It was

101
00:05:56.600 --> 00:05:59.160
you know, since that day, we really haven't had that

102
00:05:59.279 --> 00:06:00.639
many days away from each other.

103
00:06:01.680 --> 00:06:05.519
No, most of our days spent away is whether it

104
00:06:05.560 --> 00:06:09.439
was work or you going to the races.

105
00:06:09.279 --> 00:06:11.759
Right, And I mean that was it except for the

106
00:06:11.800 --> 00:06:17.519
few few times I entered joined the hustkow and and

107
00:06:17.560 --> 00:06:20.079
we'll get into that too, because that was a real

108
00:06:20.160 --> 00:06:25.319
hard time for you. You know, we're not perfect people, never

109
00:06:25.399 --> 00:06:30.040
claimed to be. We both came from chaotic backgrounds. We

110
00:06:30.120 --> 00:06:34.560
both had a bunch of turmoil going on. Now we

111
00:06:34.560 --> 00:06:38.199
were friends, so I knew that you were pregnant when

112
00:06:38.279 --> 00:06:41.399
we got together. Yes, okay, so that was just that

113
00:06:41.480 --> 00:06:44.120
was one of the things that everybody, I think at

114
00:06:44.160 --> 00:06:46.759
least we thought when we looked out and everybody looked

115
00:06:46.800 --> 00:06:49.879
at us, they thought, Okay, well, this guy is going

116
00:06:49.920 --> 00:06:55.480
through a really bad divorce and this girl just got

117
00:06:55.600 --> 00:06:58.959
knocked up by somebody else. There's no way they're going

118
00:06:59.040 --> 00:06:59.759
to make it right.

119
00:07:00.199 --> 00:07:02.399
That was how it was too right.

120
00:07:02.439 --> 00:07:07.639
Oh man, we got some looks like you would yeah,

121
00:07:07.920 --> 00:07:11.759
you know whatever. But the thing was is I never

122
00:07:12.480 --> 00:07:16.079
I felt like I had a from the very beginning,

123
00:07:16.120 --> 00:07:19.040
I felt like, you know what, I really liked this girl,

124
00:07:19.199 --> 00:07:22.519
and I probably trust this girl more than I should.

125
00:07:22.560 --> 00:07:26.600
But there was just something that I felt there about that.

126
00:07:27.000 --> 00:07:29.319
Were you the same loyalty probably.

127
00:07:29.199 --> 00:07:32.680
Yeah, just loyalty. Just I'd never really felt that type

128
00:07:32.680 --> 00:07:38.360
of loyalty. And loyalty number one, if you want to

129
00:07:38.399 --> 00:07:41.120
stay together, you have to be loyal. If you're not loyal,

130
00:07:41.720 --> 00:07:44.319
if your partner's not loyal, don't waste your time.

131
00:07:45.079 --> 00:07:48.800
Yep. And you got to prioritize each other right well,

132
00:07:48.800 --> 00:07:50.439
and that's just part of the loyalty.

133
00:07:50.600 --> 00:07:55.480
Like, if you don't have loyalty, you don't have a relationship.

134
00:07:55.800 --> 00:07:59.480
Like the easiest thing in the world in a relationship

135
00:07:59.519 --> 00:08:01.240
is not that on the other person, is it? Not?

136
00:08:01.560 --> 00:08:01.920
That is?

137
00:08:02.879 --> 00:08:07.560
I mean, that's that's so simple. But yet not everybody

138
00:08:07.800 --> 00:08:11.040
can figure it out, can they? No? I don't know why.

139
00:08:11.720 --> 00:08:15.600
But loyalty. You have to have loyalty. And the second

140
00:08:15.600 --> 00:08:19.399
thing is in a relationship, and obviously it grows. It's

141
00:08:19.439 --> 00:08:22.240
not from day one that you're you know, you have this,

142
00:08:22.360 --> 00:08:24.040
but you kind of meld into it and you kind

143
00:08:24.040 --> 00:08:29.639
of have ideas for your future. So I think are

144
00:08:30.160 --> 00:08:34.200
probably our biggest secret of all. Okay, are you ready?

145
00:08:34.960 --> 00:08:35.159
Yep?

146
00:08:35.240 --> 00:08:42.240
Are you sure? Okay? And that's not that commitment over feelings.

147
00:08:43.279 --> 00:08:46.080
There was a lot of times that I had hurt feelings,

148
00:08:46.200 --> 00:08:50.559
or maybe she had hurt feelings. But in today's society,

149
00:08:51.200 --> 00:08:54.679
all you see is, well I feel this way, I

150
00:08:54.759 --> 00:08:58.080
feel that way. You never hear people say, well, I

151
00:08:58.120 --> 00:08:59.320
made a commitment.

152
00:08:58.879 --> 00:09:00.279
Do you now?

153
00:09:01.039 --> 00:09:04.679
And the truth is if you don't put commitment before feelings,

154
00:09:04.720 --> 00:09:08.240
you can never have anything because commitment is a choice.

155
00:09:08.559 --> 00:09:11.080
Sometimes the way you feel is not a choice, right.

156
00:09:11.320 --> 00:09:13.879
That's right. Communication is everything too.

157
00:09:14.799 --> 00:09:18.000
I agree with that. Communication, but that that's all part

158
00:09:18.080 --> 00:09:21.720
of commitment. So if you know what you want and

159
00:09:21.759 --> 00:09:26.399
there's loyalty there obviously, if you have commitment, you're going

160
00:09:26.480 --> 00:09:30.679
to go somewhere, even though your feelings will, you know,

161
00:09:30.919 --> 00:09:34.320
go back and forth over time, and people all people

162
00:09:34.559 --> 00:09:38.679
all the time talk about their feelings. And you know,

163
00:09:38.759 --> 00:09:44.320
you see a lot of marriages where one or the other,

164
00:09:44.399 --> 00:09:47.759
the husband or the wife. It's it's usually the wife.

165
00:09:47.919 --> 00:09:51.080
We'll say well, I feel like I need to do this,

166
00:09:51.159 --> 00:09:55.200
and they leave their whole family. Yeah, they leave their husband.

167
00:09:55.399 --> 00:09:57.159
You know, they usually take their kids with them, but

168
00:09:57.159 --> 00:09:59.960
they're absent a lot. You see this with men too.

169
00:10:00.679 --> 00:10:03.360
But the thing is is because they're leading all of

170
00:10:03.399 --> 00:10:07.200
their choices with feelings instead of leading their choices with commitment.

171
00:10:07.879 --> 00:10:11.519
And if you are committed to something, guess what Eventually,

172
00:10:11.600 --> 00:10:15.320
if you stay committed, you're going to get through the

173
00:10:15.399 --> 00:10:18.759
thing like feelings that are going to fluctuate, yep.

174
00:10:18.879 --> 00:10:23.200
And commitment is also like you have to choose each

175
00:10:23.240 --> 00:10:27.159
other and even when things get hard, you still got

176
00:10:27.159 --> 00:10:28.039
to battle through it.

177
00:10:28.600 --> 00:10:31.799
Right, It is what it is. It's the hard times.

178
00:10:32.679 --> 00:10:36.080
And I don't care if you're talking about you personally.

179
00:10:36.120 --> 00:10:37.879
I don't care if you're talking about a marriage. I

180
00:10:37.879 --> 00:10:40.440
don't care if you're talking about a family. I don't

181
00:10:40.480 --> 00:10:44.799
even care if you're talking about business. It's hard times

182
00:10:45.120 --> 00:10:48.559
that define you. Yeah, because anybody can get through the

183
00:10:48.559 --> 00:10:51.879
easy times with anything. Easy times are easy. They don't

184
00:10:51.919 --> 00:10:53.679
define you. As a matter of fact, it's like a

185
00:10:53.759 --> 00:10:57.320
day off. It's the hard times. It's the committed times,

186
00:10:57.360 --> 00:11:01.519
it's the sacrifice times. It's those who define you and

187
00:11:01.559 --> 00:11:04.960
it's those times that create the legacy that you're going

188
00:11:05.039 --> 00:11:05.600
to leave behind.

189
00:11:05.919 --> 00:11:08.399
I think with all the struggles we've been through, I

190
00:11:08.440 --> 00:11:09.960
think that's what made us stronger.

191
00:11:10.879 --> 00:11:13.240
I think it's the struggles, and I also think it's

192
00:11:13.320 --> 00:11:18.799
how we dealt with them. I think in the hard times,

193
00:11:19.039 --> 00:11:25.600
especially the hard times, you learn how to deal with

194
00:11:25.720 --> 00:11:27.600
something going forward. And I think that it gives you

195
00:11:27.639 --> 00:11:30.879
a little bit of self confidence knowing that you've had

196
00:11:30.919 --> 00:11:34.240
to dig through something, you've had to be you know,

197
00:11:35.080 --> 00:11:41.679
extra smart, or use resources or develop new resources. One

198
00:11:41.679 --> 00:11:45.200
of the things that I really liked, I would say

199
00:11:45.720 --> 00:11:50.159
my grandmother was a huge secret of mine. That was

200
00:11:50.159 --> 00:11:53.519
like my secret weapon. And I remember when she told

201
00:11:53.559 --> 00:11:56.159
me she's like, I really like her. Well that was

202
00:11:56.200 --> 00:11:59.080
it for me. That was it. Well, if Grandma proves,

203
00:11:59.080 --> 00:12:05.720
that's it. I remember my dad saying, you know, I've

204
00:12:05.720 --> 00:12:09.759
talked to her for one day and I've spoken more

205
00:12:09.799 --> 00:12:14.320
to her than my ex in eight years. Yep, that's

206
00:12:14.360 --> 00:12:19.919
what you're saying. So I mean, I think that family approval,

207
00:12:19.919 --> 00:12:22.840
even though families, family and what they say really have

208
00:12:22.919 --> 00:12:24.919
nothing to do with you being happy in your life,

209
00:12:25.600 --> 00:12:26.759
except for it does.

210
00:12:28.840 --> 00:12:32.559
Yeah, and you're supposed to like grow together rather than

211
00:12:32.559 --> 00:12:35.960
a part. So even during struggles and hard times, you

212
00:12:36.120 --> 00:12:40.039
just whether you have a family member that doesn't like

213
00:12:40.080 --> 00:12:43.000
the other person, it's not their life to live as yours.

214
00:12:43.159 --> 00:12:47.200
So right, and you know, with commitment that means that

215
00:12:47.279 --> 00:12:51.840
you can't be a quitter. Okay. And some people are

216
00:12:51.919 --> 00:12:56.000
just not mentally prepared, emotionally prepared. Some people are not

217
00:12:56.240 --> 00:12:58.440
at that point in their life. But I was twenty four,

218
00:12:59.039 --> 00:13:03.000
you were eighteen, and somehow we were both at the

219
00:13:03.000 --> 00:13:06.840
point in our life that this is what we want yep.

220
00:13:07.240 --> 00:13:09.679
So we didn't do stupid stuff like I see. I

221
00:13:09.720 --> 00:13:13.080
see people and I see couples all the time that

222
00:13:13.679 --> 00:13:17.240
they go out drinking, you know, and usually they don't

223
00:13:17.279 --> 00:13:19.519
go out together. Usually I'm going with the girls and

224
00:13:19.559 --> 00:13:20.480
you go with the boys.

225
00:13:20.759 --> 00:13:21.480
It doesn't work.

226
00:13:21.799 --> 00:13:24.840
It'll never work, you know. People say, well, that's where

227
00:13:24.840 --> 00:13:28.200
you develop trust. Okay, No, that's where you lose trust.

228
00:13:28.600 --> 00:13:31.960
You lose trust and you lose your companion because you know,

229
00:13:32.080 --> 00:13:35.600
alcohol is a big problem in a relationship, right.

230
00:13:35.919 --> 00:13:38.679
I don't say that. I'm not saying alcohol makes you

231
00:13:38.879 --> 00:13:41.840
make decisions that are bad. But what I am saying

232
00:13:41.919 --> 00:13:46.080
is it can influence you know, the prohibitions that you yourself,

233
00:13:46.080 --> 00:13:48.639
that you put up. It changes those a little bit,

234
00:13:48.679 --> 00:13:50.840
like it kind of lets your guard down a little bit.

235
00:13:52.519 --> 00:13:54.440
And we never really did stuff like that. I would

236
00:13:54.519 --> 00:13:58.600
go I remember what three or four times that I

237
00:13:58.639 --> 00:14:01.840
went with my friends in the twenty two years that

238
00:14:01.879 --> 00:14:05.480
we've been together. Yeah, roughly, I'm talking about going out

239
00:14:05.519 --> 00:14:07.639
and having a few beers, you know, without you just

240
00:14:08.000 --> 00:14:08.279
just me.

241
00:14:08.600 --> 00:14:11.200
Most of the time you went out it was with family.

242
00:14:11.240 --> 00:14:14.879
Right right, So, because I really didn't have that desire

243
00:14:14.960 --> 00:14:17.080
to go out and get drunk or anything like that.

244
00:14:17.600 --> 00:14:20.480
Not that I didn't tie on a couple while we

245
00:14:20.559 --> 00:14:22.720
are together, but most of the time it was when

246
00:14:22.759 --> 00:14:26.919
we were together, you know, like physically at a bar.

247
00:14:27.120 --> 00:14:30.600
I'll give you a perfect example. So we're pretty young

248
00:14:30.679 --> 00:14:35.559
in our relationship and we're sitting at the bar. I

249
00:14:35.559 --> 00:14:38.559
think we had cheese Kurtsburgers, and I had a beer,

250
00:14:38.559 --> 00:14:41.440
and I think you hardly ever drank literally.

251
00:14:41.120 --> 00:14:44.000
I had a soda because I was pregnant with Morgan.

252
00:14:44.440 --> 00:14:47.679
And we're sitting there in this drunk girl comes up

253
00:14:47.759 --> 00:14:50.480
and she just really starts flirting with me, and I

254
00:14:50.480 --> 00:14:54.080
was kind of getting angry because I'm like, I'm sitting

255
00:14:54.159 --> 00:14:57.840
here with my girlfriend and this girl sees it and

256
00:14:57.879 --> 00:15:01.320
I could tell it was making you mad, and she

257
00:15:01.519 --> 00:15:05.360
was like, just inebriated, and she came up, what do

258
00:15:05.399 --> 00:15:07.200
you think of me? And you know I was not

259
00:15:07.519 --> 00:15:11.000
very nice, but I made you feel good in saying

260
00:15:11.000 --> 00:15:15.000
what I did, right, Yeah, because I already had committed

261
00:15:15.039 --> 00:15:18.399
to you and I'm with you, okay, So that makes

262
00:15:18.440 --> 00:15:21.320
a difference. It's not like you're gonna be in a

263
00:15:21.399 --> 00:15:24.799
knight in shining armor. You are doing what you're supposed

264
00:15:24.840 --> 00:15:27.360
to do to make the other person feel at ease.

265
00:15:28.159 --> 00:15:31.320
I was communicating to you without communicating to you. Yes,

266
00:15:31.559 --> 00:15:36.399
you know that. Hey, you're important to me, right yep? Okay, so,

267
00:15:37.480 --> 00:15:41.000
and I do think you're right. I think communication is

268
00:15:41.080 --> 00:15:44.840
paramount in any relationship. If you're gonna stay together, you

269
00:15:44.919 --> 00:15:48.080
better be ready to communicate. And it is so hard

270
00:15:48.639 --> 00:15:52.559
to communicate, especially with an angry girlfriend or an angry wife.

271
00:15:53.879 --> 00:15:55.240
Yeah, that's for sure.

272
00:15:55.480 --> 00:15:58.639
I mean, remember the Bible says, hell hath no fury

273
00:15:58.720 --> 00:16:01.759
like a scorned woman. So literally, there is nothing in

274
00:16:01.799 --> 00:16:05.879
Hell that's worse than what you can go through. But

275
00:16:06.360 --> 00:16:10.919
usually I'm not saying all the time, but usually if

276
00:16:11.080 --> 00:16:13.320
a girlfriend or something like that. Is that mad at you?

277
00:16:13.679 --> 00:16:17.639
She's probably, at least in her own mind, got a

278
00:16:17.720 --> 00:16:18.600
valid reason for it.

279
00:16:19.440 --> 00:16:24.840
Yep. I would have to say you're right, just because

280
00:16:25.840 --> 00:16:28.799
we don't just get mad to get mad. There's always

281
00:16:28.840 --> 00:16:30.480
a reason, right.

282
00:16:30.559 --> 00:16:34.039
And you know, I think as a guy in the relationship,

283
00:16:34.080 --> 00:16:37.000
if you want to make it last, you have to

284
00:16:37.120 --> 00:16:39.080
learn the unspoken language of.

285
00:16:39.080 --> 00:16:42.679
Lady all that language.

286
00:16:43.039 --> 00:16:45.080
I absolutely know that language.

287
00:16:45.480 --> 00:16:45.960
I don't know.

288
00:16:46.080 --> 00:16:48.720
Let me give the guys a couple of pointers. If

289
00:16:48.759 --> 00:16:53.519
you notice that your significant other, your wife, your girlfriend, whatever,

290
00:16:54.879 --> 00:16:57.320
that she just doesn't seem like she's in a very

291
00:16:57.320 --> 00:16:58.879
happy mood. As a matter of fact, she gets to

292
00:16:58.919 --> 00:17:02.080
be a little pointed in what she says, and you

293
00:17:02.159 --> 00:17:06.839
say what's wrong, and she says nothing. There is definitely

294
00:17:06.839 --> 00:17:08.839
something wrong. Am I wrong?

295
00:17:10.839 --> 00:17:12.400
Sometimes all the time?

296
00:17:12.720 --> 00:17:13.039
Okay?

297
00:17:14.200 --> 00:17:17.759
Because sometimes there isn't anything wrong, and you asking just

298
00:17:17.880 --> 00:17:18.920
makes things wrong.

299
00:17:20.119 --> 00:17:22.400
Okay. So what you're saying is, see, this is all

300
00:17:22.519 --> 00:17:27.240
part of communicating in a lady. Us wanting to communicate

301
00:17:27.279 --> 00:17:29.759
with you can have a drawback. If we ask you

302
00:17:29.799 --> 00:17:33.880
the wrong thing, the communication can be the dagger. No, okay,

303
00:17:33.920 --> 00:17:35.119
explain this to me please.

304
00:17:35.440 --> 00:17:39.359
Okay. So if you think something's wrong and you question

305
00:17:39.559 --> 00:17:44.240
me and then you say no, there is something wrong.

306
00:17:44.640 --> 00:17:46.279
That just makes us madder.

307
00:17:47.920 --> 00:17:49.880
Well, hang on a second, you aren't mad to begin with.

308
00:17:52.240 --> 00:17:54.200
I'm throwing your nuggets here, guys. I'm telling you I

309
00:17:54.240 --> 00:17:55.880
know I've learned it. I've figured it out.

310
00:17:55.960 --> 00:17:59.039
Now. If you say, if I continue to hound you

311
00:17:59.079 --> 00:18:02.319
and say, is what's wrong? Or is there something wrong?

312
00:18:02.880 --> 00:18:06.559
And you say no, it should be done. If you

313
00:18:06.720 --> 00:18:13.000
continue to intagonize and question, then there's gonna be something

314
00:18:13.039 --> 00:18:15.319
wrong because you're gonna drive us nuts.

315
00:18:15.920 --> 00:18:18.519
Well just listen to me, guys. I'm telling you the truth,

316
00:18:18.559 --> 00:18:22.680
and I'm a king when it comes to this. Okay,

317
00:18:22.759 --> 00:18:25.920
I've been down the battlefield and I'm telling you I

318
00:18:25.960 --> 00:18:26.799
know what I'm talking about.

319
00:18:26.880 --> 00:18:28.640
Not every woman is the same.

320
00:18:28.720 --> 00:18:30.960
Not every woman is the same, but all good women

321
00:18:31.359 --> 00:18:32.079
I usually.

322
00:18:31.920 --> 00:18:33.920
Think, alike, No, I'll just say it.

323
00:18:35.359 --> 00:18:36.640
But yeah, that's what I'm saying.

324
00:18:37.359 --> 00:18:40.519
A lot of women won't I will. I'll just tell it.

325
00:18:40.759 --> 00:18:43.480
Well, yeah, but you can always tell. I mean, you know,

326
00:18:43.559 --> 00:18:46.920
if you've got a connection and you're committed to the

327
00:18:46.960 --> 00:18:49.720
other person, and you know you've got this idea where

328
00:18:49.759 --> 00:18:53.880
you want to go, usually people can tell Sometimes there's

329
00:18:53.920 --> 00:18:56.759
people like me where I don't really want to Like,

330
00:18:57.400 --> 00:18:59.440
I don't want to fight it out. I don't want

331
00:18:59.480 --> 00:19:06.440
to deal with it. Sometimes I need to decompartmentalize what

332
00:19:06.519 --> 00:19:08.559
I'm thinking. Just go for a walk, maybe go for

333
00:19:08.559 --> 00:19:11.359
a ride, come back, then talk about it. Where you're

334
00:19:11.400 --> 00:19:14.400
definitely the type of person where you're like ding ding,

335
00:19:14.440 --> 00:19:15.519
it's on, let's fight this out.

336
00:19:16.519 --> 00:19:19.759
Yeah, probably, And I know that, and I mean you

337
00:19:19.880 --> 00:19:20.200
know that.

338
00:19:20.319 --> 00:19:23.279
So it helped us in communicating. Now we both had

339
00:19:23.279 --> 00:19:25.480
to have flexibility going back and forth.

340
00:19:26.200 --> 00:19:30.079
Respect and appreciation is another one, right.

341
00:19:30.279 --> 00:19:34.599
And sometimes just misunderstandings. If you don't talk about things,

342
00:19:34.839 --> 00:19:38.680
if you don't get to the core, even the little things,

343
00:19:39.279 --> 00:19:41.200
they just pile up and pile up and pile up.

344
00:19:41.240 --> 00:19:45.440
That's why it's so important to have good communication. But

345
00:19:45.599 --> 00:19:50.240
just learn how your partner communicates. And guys, I'm telling you,

346
00:19:50.440 --> 00:19:57.039
I think that listening is probably the one thing in

347
00:19:57.079 --> 00:20:01.039
the guy's repertoire that needs to be fit more than anything.

348
00:20:01.079 --> 00:20:05.680
If you want to know a secret about staying together

349
00:20:05.799 --> 00:20:09.359
with your wife, it's that you really do need to

350
00:20:09.519 --> 00:20:12.640
listen to what they say. Now, they won't even admit

351
00:20:12.759 --> 00:20:15.920
that they say some things, but you need to have

352
00:20:15.960 --> 00:20:19.480
that so you can try to understand what they're communicating

353
00:20:19.519 --> 00:20:23.440
to you. And there's other crazy stuff that you don't

354
00:20:23.799 --> 00:20:27.920
know about. And my family has told me some of

355
00:20:27.960 --> 00:20:34.799
this that, like, sometimes a lady just wants to talk

356
00:20:34.880 --> 00:20:36.920
to you. They just want to get things off their chest.

357
00:20:36.960 --> 00:20:39.400
They don't want you to fix a problem. And that

358
00:20:39.559 --> 00:20:42.160
is a very big learning curve for men, because when

359
00:20:42.200 --> 00:20:46.960
we talk, we're logical. We're very logical. So if there's

360
00:20:47.000 --> 00:20:51.839
a problem, we want to fix the problem now. Sometimes

361
00:20:52.759 --> 00:20:56.400
your significant other, your girlfriend, your wife, they just want

362
00:20:56.640 --> 00:20:59.759
you to listen, which doesn't make any sense to a guy,

363
00:20:59.759 --> 00:21:02.720
like why are you wasting the breath to talk if

364
00:21:03.000 --> 00:21:05.920
you don't want a solution. But that's the way that

365
00:21:06.039 --> 00:21:09.920
a lot of significant others are is they just want

366
00:21:09.960 --> 00:21:12.319
to know that you're there to listen to them so

367
00:21:12.359 --> 00:21:15.400
they can confide something in you for it, so they

368
00:21:15.480 --> 00:21:17.720
can tell you about their problems at work. They don't

369
00:21:17.720 --> 00:21:19.200
want you to fix them. They don't want you to

370
00:21:19.240 --> 00:21:20.920
tell them how to fix them. They just want to

371
00:21:20.960 --> 00:21:23.599
be able to tell you. That. That is something that

372
00:21:23.680 --> 00:21:25.839
men need to learn that I wish I would have

373
00:21:25.880 --> 00:21:28.319
learned a long time ago. And it's one of those

374
00:21:28.359 --> 00:21:30.680
taboo subjects that you're not supposed to bring up because

375
00:21:30.880 --> 00:21:34.880
there's a difference between you know, women and men in

376
00:21:34.960 --> 00:21:37.599
that regard, and that's one of them. You have to

377
00:21:37.640 --> 00:21:40.680
be a good listener, and sometimes you have to pick

378
00:21:40.720 --> 00:21:42.599
your battles of when you're going to try to help

379
00:21:42.680 --> 00:21:43.440
and when you're not.

380
00:21:44.160 --> 00:21:46.480
I don't know, I don't think a lot of men listen.

381
00:21:47.000 --> 00:21:48.799
Oh that we don't. That's what I'm saying. We need

382
00:21:48.839 --> 00:21:52.279
to learn to become better listeners. And that's something that

383
00:21:52.359 --> 00:21:58.680
I'm continually in progress of listening and learning. You know,

384
00:21:58.759 --> 00:22:02.200
sometimes you got to store those gets away.

385
00:22:03.319 --> 00:22:05.920
Now we just need to clean your ears out better,

386
00:22:08.519 --> 00:22:08.720
you know.

387
00:22:08.759 --> 00:22:15.000
I think one of the things about staying together is

388
00:22:15.079 --> 00:22:18.680
just supporting each other. Like we've both had different goals

389
00:22:18.839 --> 00:22:25.160
along our path. You know, sometimes I've agreed, other times

390
00:22:25.279 --> 00:22:28.799
I haven't agreed. But the one thing that hasn't changed

391
00:22:29.359 --> 00:22:33.279
is my support for what you wanted to do or

392
00:22:33.319 --> 00:22:35.480
how you wanted to grow, or maybe it was a

393
00:22:35.519 --> 00:22:39.119
business you wanted to start, or you know, something you

394
00:22:39.160 --> 00:22:43.079
wanted to do with our children, but that started way

395
00:22:43.119 --> 00:22:43.519
back then.

396
00:22:44.240 --> 00:22:49.839
It's almost like like a safe space where you can

397
00:22:50.359 --> 00:22:54.839
depend on going to that other person and them listening to.

398
00:22:54.839 --> 00:23:00.359
You, right, because right, I mean we are we are

399
00:23:00.400 --> 00:23:04.759
our own people, but we're also a team, and you

400
00:23:04.799 --> 00:23:06.640
want to be the best person you can be, but

401
00:23:06.720 --> 00:23:10.200
you also want to be the best team you can be.

402
00:23:10.319 --> 00:23:13.480
Like those two you get you'll get steamrolled if you

403
00:23:13.480 --> 00:23:14.759
get in their way, that type of thing.

404
00:23:15.319 --> 00:23:18.599
And it also teaches our kids like how to go

405
00:23:18.680 --> 00:23:22.839
through their relationships. And I think we've done a pretty

406
00:23:22.839 --> 00:23:23.279
good job.

407
00:23:23.839 --> 00:23:26.440
Yeah, I do too. I mean we're kind of like

408
00:23:26.480 --> 00:23:30.519
an open book. Everybody's kind of known us. And there's

409
00:23:30.559 --> 00:23:32.759
been a couple of times in our relationships where we

410
00:23:32.880 --> 00:23:36.839
really struggled, and there was probably one time where divorce

411
00:23:36.960 --> 00:23:42.839
was even in you know, in our heads. But we

412
00:23:42.960 --> 00:23:47.599
got through the hardest one. We got through and we

413
00:23:47.640 --> 00:23:51.400
had to use Pastor Jeff, which I do not recommend

414
00:23:51.440 --> 00:23:55.960
going to most counselors. You go to most relationship counselors

415
00:23:56.000 --> 00:23:59.759
and they're like on their third marriage and you know,

416
00:24:00.079 --> 00:24:02.359
do as I say, not as I do type people.

417
00:24:04.000 --> 00:24:06.519
But Pastor Jeff was really good for us and he

418
00:24:06.640 --> 00:24:09.680
kind of centered us where I think at that time

419
00:24:10.319 --> 00:24:14.599
our communication level had dropped a lot. I think that

420
00:24:14.640 --> 00:24:20.000
respect and appreciation for each other just because we were

421
00:24:20.000 --> 00:24:22.359
both working so much, we never saw each other and

422
00:24:22.359 --> 00:24:24.880
that was what a year and a half, two years straight,

423
00:24:26.160 --> 00:24:30.559
and it it just got very very hard from that aspect.

424
00:24:30.599 --> 00:24:36.200
I mean most people won't say this. And you know, kids,

425
00:24:36.240 --> 00:24:40.200
if there's kids around, cover your ears, but are the

426
00:24:40.240 --> 00:24:46.200
kids ears covered? Because sex is very important, that physical

427
00:24:46.480 --> 00:24:50.480
connection that you have is very very important to your relationship,

428
00:24:51.039 --> 00:24:53.920
and you know, you can kind of play games with

429
00:24:53.960 --> 00:24:56.920
it when you're married and stuff. But one of the

430
00:24:56.960 --> 00:25:00.640
secrets to staying together is to make make sure that

431
00:25:00.759 --> 00:25:04.400
the other person is satisfied, especially when it comes to

432
00:25:04.440 --> 00:25:08.319
the bedroom, especially when it comes to conversation and communication.

433
00:25:08.480 --> 00:25:11.200
It's like the whole sphere of things.

434
00:25:11.799 --> 00:25:17.960
Yes, you gotta make sure everybody's happy.

435
00:25:18.119 --> 00:25:23.759
Yeah, I think so too. It's it's one of those

436
00:25:24.079 --> 00:25:28.039
things that if that part stops, then all these other

437
00:25:28.119 --> 00:25:31.559
things start creeping in. I'll give you an example. If

438
00:25:31.640 --> 00:25:36.759
you are happy in the bedroom, okay, and then all

439
00:25:36.759 --> 00:25:41.680
of a sudden that stops or slows way down. Even

440
00:25:41.720 --> 00:25:44.920
if you trust that other person, even if you are

441
00:25:44.960 --> 00:25:47.960
communicating with that other person, there's something in your brain

442
00:25:48.039 --> 00:25:49.880
that always says, okay, something's wrong.

443
00:25:50.480 --> 00:25:55.799
Yeah, And it could be maybe you feel like they're

444
00:25:56.799 --> 00:26:00.000
cheating on you, or maybe you feel they're not interesting

445
00:26:00.119 --> 00:26:01.839
than in you anymore or something.

446
00:26:02.400 --> 00:26:04.759
Yeah, or you know, you guys are going your separate ways.

447
00:26:04.799 --> 00:26:07.799
I mean, doubt creeps in. And that's a very important thing.

448
00:26:07.799 --> 00:26:11.960
And you will never hear hardly anybody else talk about that,

449
00:26:12.440 --> 00:26:15.160
but it's something very very important. You know, if you're

450
00:26:15.160 --> 00:26:19.279
gonna support each other in their business, if you're gonna

451
00:26:19.279 --> 00:26:21.440
support each other when it comes to them being a mother,

452
00:26:21.720 --> 00:26:24.400
you know, like you've got to stand behind each other.

453
00:26:25.480 --> 00:26:27.960
Or whether it's a family or anything, all of them

454
00:26:28.559 --> 00:26:31.880
have their time and place, and I think at the

455
00:26:32.039 --> 00:26:36.880
very core, usually the reason that people got together is

456
00:26:37.680 --> 00:26:40.920
first of all, they thought this person was hot. Okay,

457
00:26:41.240 --> 00:26:43.440
because there has to be physical attraction, because if there's

458
00:26:43.480 --> 00:26:48.920
not physical attraction, then you're just friends, you're just roomors. Yeah.

459
00:26:48.960 --> 00:26:54.079
And the emotional attraction also, And if you start losing that,

460
00:26:54.079 --> 00:26:59.039
that's like the foundational basis of you know, the instinctual

461
00:26:59.240 --> 00:27:02.960
carnal being that you are. And right away, I think

462
00:27:03.039 --> 00:27:05.599
your body sends up red flags.

463
00:27:06.079 --> 00:27:11.519
Yeah, and you can't let others get involved in your relationship.

464
00:27:11.920 --> 00:27:15.680
No, And I think that's really easy to do. It's

465
00:27:15.759 --> 00:27:18.759
always easier to talk to somebody else. Like I noticed,

466
00:27:18.839 --> 00:27:22.119
young people do this a lot. Have you ever noticed

467
00:27:22.640 --> 00:27:25.599
in this maybe somebody listening to this. You get into

468
00:27:25.799 --> 00:27:29.640
an argument or a big fight with your girlfriend, your wife, whatever,

469
00:27:30.400 --> 00:27:32.559
the first thing each of you do is go to

470
00:27:32.640 --> 00:27:36.480
your friends and talk about it. And the reason that

471
00:27:36.599 --> 00:27:38.480
is is because it's like, Okay, well I'm going to

472
00:27:38.519 --> 00:27:39.440
get them on my side.

473
00:27:40.079 --> 00:27:42.160
I'm not like that. I don't call anybody.

474
00:27:42.440 --> 00:27:47.240
No, you're not, but most people do. We didn't really

475
00:27:47.279 --> 00:27:50.519
deal with that a lot because we were always communicating together,

476
00:27:51.880 --> 00:27:54.519
you know. So what do you think?

477
00:27:56.759 --> 00:28:02.799
I think everybody goes through struggles, and I think when

478
00:28:02.839 --> 00:28:06.000
you choose to pick up that phone to call somebody,

479
00:28:06.440 --> 00:28:09.480
whether it be a family member or a friend, you

480
00:28:09.559 --> 00:28:13.759
turn your family or your friends against your significant other.

481
00:28:14.559 --> 00:28:15.720
It happens all the time.

482
00:28:16.240 --> 00:28:21.039
Yeah, and that's if that happens, you're either going to

483
00:28:21.200 --> 00:28:23.400
alienate the person that you're with or you're going to

484
00:28:23.480 --> 00:28:27.200
have to alienate your family later. Yes, that's ninety nine

485
00:28:27.200 --> 00:28:28.960
percent of the time. That's the way that it works.

486
00:28:29.039 --> 00:28:30.680
We've seen that a lot, right.

487
00:28:32.319 --> 00:28:35.559
I think that one of the secrets that isn't really

488
00:28:35.559 --> 00:28:39.240
A secret is you have to learn how to forgive.

489
00:28:40.079 --> 00:28:44.400
And as perfect as you think you are, you're always

490
00:28:44.440 --> 00:28:46.480
going to make a mistake. You're going to do something stupid.

491
00:28:46.519 --> 00:28:50.359
It could be hurtful words, it could be a white lie,

492
00:28:51.440 --> 00:28:56.200
it could be anything from you from them, but you

493
00:28:56.480 --> 00:28:59.720
truly have to forgive. And you know, not like that

494
00:29:00.039 --> 00:29:02.680
country song that says bury the hatchet, believe the handles

495
00:29:02.680 --> 00:29:06.200
sticking out. I see that happen a lot in especially

496
00:29:06.240 --> 00:29:10.519
young people's lives, Like they'll do something stupid and then

497
00:29:10.559 --> 00:29:13.960
three four years later they'll get into an argument and

498
00:29:14.000 --> 00:29:17.319
then that thing gets brought up again. And what that does.

499
00:29:17.359 --> 00:29:21.680
It's self defeating, Like you're carrying this grudge, you're you're

500
00:29:21.720 --> 00:29:26.000
not allowing your relationship to you know, be good and

501
00:29:26.039 --> 00:29:27.400
be happy. What do you think?

502
00:29:28.039 --> 00:29:32.759
I think there are certain things that aren't forgivable, like cheating.

503
00:29:33.200 --> 00:29:40.440
Cheating is an unforgivable one. What else would be? There's

504
00:29:40.519 --> 00:29:41.839
there's very few.

505
00:29:42.400 --> 00:29:46.359
Like talking to another woman when you're married.

506
00:29:48.680 --> 00:29:52.319
I think that I think that that has levels. Cheating

507
00:29:52.400 --> 00:29:53.759
is different. Cheating is just if.

508
00:29:53.640 --> 00:29:56.759
You're gonna cheat, Cheating is it's pretty close to the

509
00:29:56.799 --> 00:30:01.240
same thing. If you're talking to another woman not about

510
00:30:01.319 --> 00:30:03.920
just like business stuff or something.

511
00:30:03.680 --> 00:30:06.200
You're talking about like pre cheating. Yeah, yeah, I mean

512
00:30:06.240 --> 00:30:09.759
that can be that can be the same thing. But

513
00:30:09.799 --> 00:30:13.119
then that comes again to communication. You know, is this

514
00:30:13.279 --> 00:30:17.000
making your partner uncomfortable? Are you willing to sacrifice what's

515
00:30:17.079 --> 00:30:21.160
making them uncomfortable? And do you think, as you know

516
00:30:21.240 --> 00:30:26.279
that person, is it reasonable at that point? And I

517
00:30:26.279 --> 00:30:28.480
think that goes into a lot of things, you know,

518
00:30:28.720 --> 00:30:32.240
like what do you think if if a person went

519
00:30:32.440 --> 00:30:35.160
and made a financial decision and then lied about it

520
00:30:35.400 --> 00:30:36.680
and it harmed somebody else.

521
00:30:39.640 --> 00:30:45.319
I don't think that's ground for not forgiving, But I

522
00:30:45.359 --> 00:30:46.759
think it takes time.

523
00:30:47.480 --> 00:30:52.759
Too to be able to forgive for real forgive. Yeah,

524
00:30:53.079 --> 00:30:55.839
you know, it's so important and people don't do this

525
00:30:55.920 --> 00:31:00.200
anymore because there's so much individualism and about me me, me,

526
00:30:59.880 --> 00:31:04.160
me me today. But truly in order to be happy,

527
00:31:04.200 --> 00:31:08.400
I think that humans at their center are about service,

528
00:31:08.759 --> 00:31:12.440
you know, like not like in the like slave or

529
00:31:13.000 --> 00:31:15.039
she's my wife, gonna make me a sandwich, or he's

530
00:31:15.039 --> 00:31:17.640
my husband, go shovel the driveway. Not that type of service.

531
00:31:17.640 --> 00:31:21.480
I'm talking about the selfless service that is an act

532
00:31:21.519 --> 00:31:25.240
of love when it comes between two people, like she's

533
00:31:25.240 --> 00:31:27.279
got my back and I know that, and I've got

534
00:31:27.279 --> 00:31:30.240
her back and she knows that. And it's the little

535
00:31:30.279 --> 00:31:33.599
things of service that actually make you feel better in

536
00:31:33.640 --> 00:31:38.359
your relationship. And I think that's something that you learn that, Hey,

537
00:31:38.440 --> 00:31:40.640
you know what, when I make her happy, that makes

538
00:31:40.640 --> 00:31:41.519
me feel pretty good.

539
00:31:42.519 --> 00:31:47.559
Yeah. And it's like even like family members, when they

540
00:31:47.880 --> 00:31:53.559
try to get involved, it's always the you know, it's

541
00:31:53.680 --> 00:31:56.960
my life, my relationship. I'll deal with it. You know,

542
00:31:57.160 --> 00:32:00.920
you always have to put them aside and tell them like.

543
00:32:03.599 --> 00:32:06.920
Yeah, well either side. Yeah. I mean, it's just you

544
00:32:07.119 --> 00:32:12.400
have a place that you're going with your life, with

545
00:32:12.880 --> 00:32:15.559
your relationship with the things. So as long as you

546
00:32:15.599 --> 00:32:18.559
have that centered with that person and you're practicing this

547
00:32:18.759 --> 00:32:25.279
type of you know, support and communication and commitment and

548
00:32:25.400 --> 00:32:31.039
respect and appreciating your partner, you know, you're learning how

549
00:32:31.079 --> 00:32:35.079
to forgive at a big level. You're keeping the intimacy

550
00:32:35.119 --> 00:32:39.319
between you alive, and you're remembering why you're started. It

551
00:32:39.359 --> 00:32:42.200
shouldn't matter who tries to come in between your relationship

552
00:32:42.599 --> 00:32:44.880
as long as you're willing to put an end to

553
00:32:45.640 --> 00:32:48.920
whatever threatens the commitment you made in the beginning. Yes,

554
00:32:49.839 --> 00:32:54.400
So those I think are the secrets that have kept

555
00:32:54.519 --> 00:32:58.079
our marriage together for this long and happy for this long.

556
00:32:58.519 --> 00:33:02.960
And I think that above everything else that I said today. Obviously,

557
00:33:03.000 --> 00:33:07.039
communications right up there. Intimacy is way up there. But

558
00:33:07.680 --> 00:33:11.839
being of service to your best friend and you know

559
00:33:11.880 --> 00:33:15.200
your lover, being of service to them is probably the

560
00:33:15.240 --> 00:33:17.759
greatest honor that you're going to have on this earth,

561
00:33:18.240 --> 00:33:20.759
besides being a good parent, in my opinion.

562
00:33:21.359 --> 00:33:24.400
Yes, and you never stop dating, right.

563
00:33:24.680 --> 00:33:27.519
You got to make them. If it's a woman, you

564
00:33:27.640 --> 00:33:29.279
got to make them feel like a lady. It is

565
00:33:29.279 --> 00:33:31.160
what it is. And I'm telling you as a guy,

566
00:33:31.640 --> 00:33:35.960
a man has to feel respected. The minute that a

567
00:33:36.000 --> 00:33:41.480
man doesn't feel respected, everything shuts off, his communication, doorway,

568
00:33:42.039 --> 00:33:46.400
his compartmentalizing feelings, everything shuts off because that is a

569
00:33:46.519 --> 00:33:50.400
defense mechanism in most men. And you know women have

570
00:33:50.519 --> 00:33:54.720
other ones. So I know a lot of people say this,

571
00:33:55.079 --> 00:33:59.599
but women need communication, women need love, men need respect,

572
00:33:59.759 --> 00:34:03.680
and men need loyalty. And if those things are taken

573
00:34:03.720 --> 00:34:06.000
care of, everything else can work itself out.

574
00:34:07.400 --> 00:34:11.159
Yes, but women also need respect and loyalty as well.

575
00:34:11.639 --> 00:34:14.079
Right, It's just I don't think it's the top two

576
00:34:14.079 --> 00:34:19.800
for them. I think it's communication is number one, and

577
00:34:19.960 --> 00:34:23.679
love is number two, and with men, it's definitely respect

578
00:34:23.719 --> 00:34:27.800
and loyalty number one and two. So that's kind of

579
00:34:27.800 --> 00:34:31.920
our secrets for staying together. If you want to ask

580
00:34:32.000 --> 00:34:34.440
us a question, if it's something that we didn't cover

581
00:34:34.519 --> 00:34:37.239
good or whatever, tell them the email it is.

582
00:34:37.599 --> 00:34:41.840
We are the Hansons Show at gmail dot com, or

583
00:34:42.280 --> 00:34:44.760
you can send us a message on Facebook on our

584
00:34:44.800 --> 00:34:48.400
we are the Handsome page and please go subscribe to

585
00:34:48.440 --> 00:34:51.079
our We are the Hansen's YouTube channel.

586
00:34:51.320 --> 00:34:55.119
Yeah, you know, I think we are Theehansens dot com.

587
00:34:55.159 --> 00:34:58.360
Is it. Yes, it's supposed to be live this week.

588
00:34:59.119 --> 00:35:01.000
You get to go there, you get to read about things,

589
00:35:01.000 --> 00:35:03.119
you get different articles. I'm telling you, we have some

590
00:35:03.840 --> 00:35:07.239
darn good recipes that are coming out there, some things

591
00:35:07.280 --> 00:35:10.519
that we're doing, some places we're traveling, some uh, some

592
00:35:10.559 --> 00:35:12.559
things we're looking into, if you know what I'm saying.

593
00:35:12.679 --> 00:35:16.360
So yeah, some live videos, some you know, kind of

594
00:35:16.400 --> 00:35:19.840
like just average like what we do videos, and then

595
00:35:19.880 --> 00:35:21.719
some really freaking cool videos.

596
00:35:22.239 --> 00:35:24.880
Yes, thank you for joining in tonight. Guys.

597
00:35:25.039 --> 00:35:26.440
Absolutely, we love you