Jan. 19, 2025

We Are The Hansons Raising Kids Close In Age

We Are The Hansons Raising Kids Close In Age

Parenting in an adventure, and having kids close in age adds a unique twist to the journey! In this episode, we share the joys and challenges of raising sons born just 13 months apart and the whirlwind of welcoming the two youngest daughters just 11 months apart. From managing sibling dynamics to navigating milestones that seem to happen all at once, we dive into how this experience has shaped our family, strengthened our bond, and taught us some unexpected lessons about patience, love, and teamwork. Wheather you're in the trenches of raising little ones or just courious about what life is like with kids so close in age, this episode is full of stories, tips, and laughter.

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Welcome back to We are the Hansens. Today we're diving

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into what it's like to raise kids who are incredibly

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close in age, our two sons who are just thirteen

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months apart, and our youngest daughters with an even tighter

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gap of eleven months.

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If you've ever wondered one life with virtual.

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Twins is like or if you're in the thick of

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it yourself, this month's for you. So early days for

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us with close age gaps. Let's be honest, those first

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few years are pure chaos. Now, I'm telling you it

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was chaos for us when my second son was born.

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My first was just starting to walk, two sets of diapers,

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double the mess, and minimal sleep. It felt like the

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baby face never ended. Then came our youngest two daughters,

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and I thought, I've done this before.

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How hard could this be? Well it was harder than

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I thought. One because I had one toddler at home

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with my two daughters and one in the nick You,

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and we were in the nick you so long.

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It was eighty six days. Everyone.

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It was a struggle, bouncing from home to the hospital.

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It was a nightmare.

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But I'm going to start off with my boys because

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they were my first close in age. They were double trouble.

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You know, the adjusting part of having kids at close

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in age.

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It's tough, it is.

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It tested my patience and it tested our teamwork between

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my husband and I and our sanity.

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I mean, two.

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Kids crying at the same time.

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It was rough.

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It was rough, but we also learned to work together

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better than ever because when one is crying for something,

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and usually it wasn't the same thing they were crying for.

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One probably needed a diaper and one was hungry or

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vice versa. There's always something else that could be wrong,

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maybe one sick.

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It just depended.

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And me and my husband were a good team just

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having to work together with two babies real close in age.

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They both needed our attention. You become a stronger team,

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stronger team when you have to deal with two babies

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at one time. That's pretty much what we dealt with,

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And it was like having twins, except for one kuld

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walk and one couldn't. So we always work together. If

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we were home together, we worked together. If one had

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to work and one was home, it was tough, but

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we made it through.

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Usually the baby would.

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Be sleeping while the other one was up running around

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I would always try to get them on the same

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sleeping schedule so they were both sleeping at the same time. Granted,

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a lot of times it was hard to do because

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you know, when you have a toddler, they usually don't

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want to go to sleep, They want to play. They

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want to be up and moving around and getting into things.

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For my boys, it was a little difficult. My first

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setted kids that were really close in age. And nobody

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gives you a book on how to be a parent.

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There is no book, nothing. You learn as you go,

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You learn from seeing other people do it, You learn

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from your family. It is a learning curve when you

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have children and you're a I wasn't a first time

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mom because I was a first time mom at eighteen,

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but I still did not know everything when I had

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my second boy or my third boy, and because they

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were so close, I was feeling like I was raising

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twins even though they weren't twins. Our son Gavin, when

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he was a baby, he had what they call a

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multi sistic kidney, so we were in and out of

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the doctors a lot with him, and just having to

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go to the doctors with two kids so close in age,

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it was hard, very hectic, but we did it. We

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managed to take all the kids with us to the

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doctor's office and deal with it. As a parent, you

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have to do what you gotta do. And most of

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the time, the doctors and the nurses they understand. You know.

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People always would look at us or ask us questions.

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You know, you just deal with it whatever is asked.

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You can be honest. People might not like your honesty,

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but it's tough. It's tough having two kids close in age.

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With the girls, it was tough, like I said, because

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one was at home and one was in the NICU.

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So me and Jeremy had to be gone and awful

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lot back and forth to the hospital. We weren't sure

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if Anna was gonna make it through, and she's our youngest.

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She was the one that was born so early, so

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we were at the hospital a lot lot. And even

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though I felt like I was neglecting my children at home,

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I knew eventually my baby would be coming home with us.

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It was just time, and I feel like I missed

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out on a lot of time with my other kids

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while I was in the hospital. But I feel like

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it also made us stronger as a family, because your

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other kids know what you're going through. They feel your emotions,

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and they're very compassionate. At least my children were. My

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children were very compassionate and understanding, and they helped out

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a lot. I'm really, really, really proud of every one

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of them for helping out at home, making sure the

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house is clean, making sure the little ones get fed,

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because I could not always be there, nor could Jeremy.

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And I'm glad that we had other family that came

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to help out, to sisters, aunts, you know, stuff like that.

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Because it showed.

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My children that they were cared about. You know, a

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lot of times kids, you know, if you don't have

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family that would come and give up their own time

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to help in a situation. That is the situation we

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were in where we were on pins and needles, not

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knowing if we were going to ever be able to

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bring our baby home, if we were going to have

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to bury our baby. We had no idea and we

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were left in the unknown. So with them two girls

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being so close in age, only eleven months apart, it

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was tough. I felt like when I was in the

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hospital all that time with a broken water that my

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little Torren didn't remember who I was, even though Jeremy

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brought them to the hospital all the time. She was

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my baby, you know, and so having another baby and

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so close in age, it was hard because I still

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had a baby at home and I was so sad

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that I had to leave her because I was stuck

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in the hospital and I wasn't there to put her

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to bed at night and just to be there. I

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missed out seeing her take her first steps. And I

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feel like I missed out on a lot of Torn's

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life when I was in the hospital, but I still

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got to see.

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Her, you know.

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It wasn't ever every day because we lived an hour

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a little over an hour from the hospital, but I

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missed out as well. So it was rough for me.

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But I made it through and were stronger than ever. No,

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so having kids close in age is definitely not a joke.

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Some of the unique bonds between the two sets of

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close siblings. I've always wanted to look back and see

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their bonds because as they were growing up, my boys

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they were really close. They fought a lot, but they

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were also best friends. They did everything together. They played

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outside together, they built forts together, they climbed trees together,

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they played Hide and go Seek together, and always wanted

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to hide together. They had a very strong bond. And

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seeing them today at seventeen and eighteen, I sit here

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and I'm like, hmm, my boys still have that bond.

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They do almost everything together still to this day. And

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I know all our kids are super close and they

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always hang out together and do things together. If you've

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seen my kids out and about all of them together,

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you would never know that they were siblings. If you

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didn't know them, you would think that they were all friends.

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And if they didn't all look similar and looks, you

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would think they were all best friends. Because that's how

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close our children are. My two boys, they work on

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their cars together, they go to the mall together. I mean,

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they do a lot of stuff together. Still, I'm super

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proud of them because both of them have worked at

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McDonald's and they held that job for a long time.

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They have both bought multiple vehicles working at McDonald's and

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now the only thing that has changed in them is

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what they want to do for work. Tristan he likes

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to build things. He works very hard. He has worked

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building grain bins and now he is working doing wood flooring.

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So they the company Tristan works for, they make wood

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flooring for your home. Gavin, on the other hand, he

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works in a restaurant as a busser. So Gavin, eventually

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when he graduates this may he wants to either do

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construction work or.

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He wants to go be alignment.

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So each of them have a little different outlook on

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what they want to do as far as work in life.

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Gavin is more my type of kid. That he's my

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trouble kid. Let's put it that way. That boy, he

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likes to drive fast, act crazy, have fun. He's more outgoing.

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I guess I could say Tristan is more laid back.

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He doesn't say a lot when they're out and about,

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you know, he's very quiet. He he doesn't just strike

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up a conversation with anybody. He lets them, you know,

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do most of the talking. He's more introvert. Maybe I

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don't really know. He's just not not as crazy Gavin.

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He talks to anybody. He doesn't care, He'll just talk.

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I guess he's more like me maybe than anything. Gavin

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is so but it's the most beautiful thing raising kids

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so close in age and seeing their bond it's almost

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like they're inseparable. At most points. They do fight definitely

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fight like siblings. But if anybody said anything bad about Tristan,

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Gavin was always there to back him up. And I'm

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going to tell you a little story. So my boys

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were at the park one time and there's some older

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kids there, and the one kid had flicked a cigarette

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at my son, Gavin, and it hit him in his arm.

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And.

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It infuriated Tristan to the point Tristan grabbed this kid,

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threw him to the ground and said, don't you ever

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do that to my brother again, or put your hands

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on my brother, he said, because next time it won't

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be so pretty.

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That is how my boys are.

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Gavin, on the other hand, somebody at school one time

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when Tristan was still in school was saying some pretty

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hurtful stuff about Tristan, and Gavin pretty much took care

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of that situation. It infuriated Gavin and he put an

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end to it real quick.

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So my boys are like that.

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All of my kids, I should say, are like that,

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because they will all stick up for one another regardless.

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You never say anything bad about somebody's sibling in front

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of them, because you're supposed to stand up for your siblings.

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So my boys do, my girls do. As well.

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We have a little bit of rivalry in our kids.

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When milestones are only months apart. It's like learning to

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walk or talk. There's temptation to compare, you know. Gavin

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would always pick on Tristan and say, oh, I walked

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before you were. He just picked It wasn't true. He

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was just teasing them because of how close an age

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they are. But we had to remind them that every

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child progresses in their own pace. Not every kid has

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a toothfall out and one grows back in before the other.

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Sometimes Gavin would lose a tooth before Tristan. Sometimes Tristan

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would lose the tooth before Gavin. Sometimes Gavin had bigger

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feet than Tristan.

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It just depended.

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Everything was different about them, even though they were so

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much alike. So that is some of the stuff. Now.

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Torn and Anna, which are our two youngest daughters, they

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are only eleven months apart, so their clothing they pretty

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much shared clothes and they still do to this day.

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Anna it definitely is a little bit bigger than Torn

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weight wise, but shoes, clothes, everything that Torn wears, Anna

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can wear, everything that Anna wears Torn can wear. So

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there's so much stuff that they have that is similar

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as well. They fight a lot, but they like a

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lot of the same stuff. So if you know, when

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Christmas time comes around or birthday stuff, they usually ask

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for almost the exact same stuff, but different colors. Gavin

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and Tristan they are similar to except for Gavin likes

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a little bit different style than Tristan. Tristan has kind

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of turned country and he likes the cowboy country western,

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where as Gavin likes the new hip hop today's style

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in boys clothes and stuff, So they're just a little

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bit different in that sense. They do like different colors.

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Tristan likes orange, Gavin he wears a lot of black.

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He likes blues too, so they're different in that sense.

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Torn and Anna, on the other hand, it's really hard

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to get them something different because if I pick out

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something different for each of them, then they're fighting over it.

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So they're more like twins than they are not if

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you get my drift. Same with hairstyles for Torn and Anna,

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each of them like the same hairstyle. If I braid

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one's hair, the other one needs a braid too. I

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try and do it a little different because I think,

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to be honest, I think they like acting like twins

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because a lot of people question if they're twins because

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they look so similar, but they're not. So I try

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and do a little bit different hairstyle on each of

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them to kind of separate the looks a little bit,

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just so you know they can be their own self.

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I try and tell them all the time, you guys

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do not have to dress alike. You guys can dress different.

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When we go shopping for clothes, they tend to pick

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out the almost the exact same outfits as each other.

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I mean, it's weird, but it's true. So here's some

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things that I've learned along the way.

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Routine is key.

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When everything feels a little overwhelming. The thing that you

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should remember is a schedule should be made. It's a lifesaver.

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I have from diaper changes to bottle feedings to who's

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getting a bath? You know, every day schedule. When they

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were little. It helped us a lot. We often have

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to help each other out, you know. Jeremy was always

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there helping me, whether you change the stiper, I'll change

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the stiper, or I'll feel bottle, you get hammer her

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some food, you know, So we always tried to focus

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on who was going to do what, and we had

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a schedule and that's what we went by. Because it

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does get very, very very hard. I don't know how

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many times that we had change diapers or whatnot and

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I'd be like, did you just change him? Or he'd

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ask me, did you change him? We always knew yep,

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I changed him. You changed him. You got to prioritize

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time together as well, because it's easy to let your

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relationship take take a back seat. It happens in every relationship,

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but staying connected as a couple has helped us handle

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the chaos a lot better in our family. So looking back,

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I would not trade any of those hectic years for anything,

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because that is what made us the parents we are today.

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They were yet exhausting, but filled with so much love

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and laughter. I mean, I don't know how many times

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we laughed at some of the ridiculous stuff that we

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probably did because while me pretty much as a new parent,

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having two kids so close in age with Tristan and Gavin,

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I mean, ugh, yeah, So it does get chaotic, but

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it's special and it's a life long bond you see

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your kids have. Even though all of our kids are close,

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Tristan and Gavin and Torn and Anna are a lot

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closer if you can understand what I'm saying there, because

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they are so close in age. I am going to

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finish up here tonight bye, saying life is chaotic and

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as a parent, if you have children close in age,

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it's okay to make mistakes. Everybody does. There is not

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a perfect person on this earth, not a perfect person

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at all. So it is stressful and chaotic, but you

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can get through it. I know life doesn't hand us

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a book, and it never has. It will never hand

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you a book. No parent has ever prepared for kids.

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No matter how many kids you have, you're still never prepared.

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Never.

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So I want you guys to know that we have

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thirteen kids, and when you have two kids that are

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close in age, it makes it even worse. It makes

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it it's more chaotic. So that being said, raising kids

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with such small age gaps isn't easy, but it's an

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adventure and we wouldn't trade it for anything. The sleepless

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nights and the endless piles of laundry are temporary, but

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the relationships they're building will last a lifetime. If they're

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in the trenches of close in age parenting, hang in there.

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It's definitely worth it. Thanks for joining us on We

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Are the Hansens today and we'll see you next time.

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You can go subscribe to our YouTube channel on We

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Are the Hansens. You can reach out to us on

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Facebook at we Are the Hansens, or you can send

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us an email at we Are thee. Hansen's Show at

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gmail dot com