WEBVTT
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Welcome to We are the Hansens. I'm Maya Hansen, and
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this is the show where we share all about our
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big family, the chaos, the love, and the lessons we're
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learning along the way.
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Today we're talking.
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About something that's become really important to us over the years,
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creating a home where all our kids.
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Friends want to hang out.
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If you've ever wondered how to make your house the
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go to spot for your kids and their friends, or
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why you'd even want.
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To, We've got plenty to share. Let's dive in.
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So our home has always been the hangout spot for
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our kids and their friends, and I am so thankful,
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and I'm going to tell you a little bit about
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why it is important to us as the parents to
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have our home be the place where kids want to
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gather and talk about the benefits. I'm going to start
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by sharing it's really important to us because we know
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where our kids are. We know our kids are safe,
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and we know other kids are safe, and we know
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that nobody is going to be doing something that they
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should not be doing. It has always been a big
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thing to me to know where my kids are to
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make sure they are safe and they have plenty of
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stuff to eat. I just like to know that my
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kids are taking care of it, and I would expect
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that from somebody else's parents as well. You know, other
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parents some just don't really care. And I'm the type
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of parent that as long as I know my kids
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are safe and they're fed and they're warm, I feel
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a lot better. And I hope that other parents would
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do the same if my kids were at their home.
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It helps by building trust and relationships. When our kids
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bring their friends over, we get to know who they're
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spending their time with. We see their dynamics, their personalities,
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and honestly, we just love getting to know the kids
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who are shaping our children's world.
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I mean, to know that your.
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Kids are hanging out with good kids is almost a relief.
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And I want my kids to have good friends and
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safe friends, friends that aren't getting into trouble or doing drugs.
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And I'm going to tell you all of my kids
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as friends. I think there's only been one friend, maybe two,
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that I really didn't like too much because always wanting
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to drink, always wanting to smoke, always wanting to do drugs.
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It wasn't great and my kids ended up weaning him
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out of the friendship circle. Because of that, I also
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see how my kids interact with their friends and how
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their friends interact in our home, and it's helped build trust.
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I can let my kids go to a party with
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a friend or go hang out, and I know my
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kids will make the right decisions. I know that my
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kids would say no to peer pressure. I know how
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my kids are. I've instilled, and so has Jeremy, my husband,
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into our kids, that if you ever go to a
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party with your friends and there is drinking there, you,
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for one, do not get in the car with anybody
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who's been drinking or driving, And you especially do not
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get in the car and drive drunk. That is one
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thing that I've pushed and so has Jeremy, my husband,
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to make sure our kids never make that mistake. And
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I'm going to tell you my kids know if they
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go to a family member's house or their cousins, you know,
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just wherever, they better not get behind the wheel. If
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they want to leave, they know how to pick up
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a phone and call me, my husband, or an older
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sibling to get them home safe. Because I do not care.
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I might be mad at them for drinking or whatever
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for a little while, but I know it's bound to happen,
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and I'd rather them call me and wake me up
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out of bed to come and get them wherever they're
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at than to get behind a wheel and put other
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lives at risk or their self at risk. That's a
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no no, and my kids know that is a no no.
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I'd like to be able to keep an eye on
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things as a parent. It's comforting to know our kids
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are safe, supervised in an environment where we can keep
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our eye on them and what's going on, but not
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be a helicopter parent, not hover over our kids. My
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kids are very trustworthy kids, and they would never put
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somebody else at risk. And they are the type of
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kids if they go to a party or anything, they're
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the type of kids that will take their friend's keys
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and hide them so their friends don't do something stupid.
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So that's how we've raised our children, and I'm very
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proud of every single one of them because of that reason.
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Some of the best memories for our kids have been
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the nights they've spent laughing and hanging out with their
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friends at our home, and we want to be part
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of that. We get involved, we play games, we have
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a movie night, we maybe have music and just let
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the kids dance. We enjoy that. That is something that
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I will cherish forever, and I know my kids will
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remember those things and them memories that we created.
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We like to create a.
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Space for them, meaning we open up our living room
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for movie nights, or we put like a strobe light
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on the ceiling, you know, just fancy lights so that
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the kids can dance.
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Our movie nights are a big thing.
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We get popcorn, and we get snacks, and usually I
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make a good dinner before the movie starts, so we
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all eat and just relax.
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It's fun. The kids enjoy it.
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We all gather around a table and we play games,
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whether it be board games or card games or charades
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or whatever it may be. And it is so fun
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because all of my kids, as friends say, we are
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the cool parents. We don't need to have drinking or
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drugs or any of that or these kids to want
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to be around us, and I love it. I love it.
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Me and my husband are not drinkers or drug addicts.
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And I want these other children that are coming to
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my home to see you can have fun without all
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that nasty stuff. I think us being role models like
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that will help guide some kids in the right direction,
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at least I hope it will. Even just hanging out
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chatting stuff like that, it makes a big difference. The
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kids still have fun. I will go to the store
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if I know that there's a large group of kids
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coming over. I make it a point to go to
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the store and pick up all kinds of snacks, you know, drinks,
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whether it's chips and cookies or fruits, whatever it may be.
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Lots of popcorn, lots of bottled water, lots of soda.
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I make sure I get all of that, because the
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small things make a big difference. We want our home
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to feel like a place where everyone can just be themselves.
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That means keeping the atmosphere light, warm and welcoming. We
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greet our kids as friends, like they're our own. Most
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of the friends that come here we know their names,
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just because they've been our kids as friends for a
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long time. Every now and then we will get a newcomer,
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and all of the kids as friends say their parents
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are awesome. I don't sit there and yell at my kids.
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I want my kids to be able to bring their
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friends here and feel like they have a space that
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they can enjoy. And that's just the bottom line right there,
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and that's why our house is always full of a
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bunch of kids besides ours. We don't care about the noise.
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We have dealt with noise for a very long time.
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Having thirteen kids is a lot of noise, and then
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you add their friends makes it funner. And let's be honest,
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when you're in a house where all the kids hang out,
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it's not going to be quiet at all. But we've
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learned to embrace the noise and see it as a
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sign of life, laughter, and connection. That is how we
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feel it's worth a little mess and chaos to know
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our kids and their friends are safe and happy and
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enjoying themselves. There are some boundaries that it's just a
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normal thing. We try to keep things level.
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No fighting.
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You know that many kids around there can be arguments.
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What's okay for our kids is okay for their friends.
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We've always made sure that everyone knows the basics. No
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getting too rough while rough housing in you know certain areas,
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or cleaning up before you leave. You don't have to
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make my house shiny clean, but make sure you take
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your trash out, your dishes out, stuff like that. I
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don't expect their friends to do my dishes. I don't
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expect them to mop my floors or sweep or anything
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like that. Just pick up what you mess. That's all
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I have for them. We also talk to our kids
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about how to make their friends feel more welcome and included.
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And most of their friends know that. You know.
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I always tell them, if you guys are hungry or thirsty,
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help yourself. There is plenty of food and snacks to
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go around. Help yourself. Don't be scared to ask, just
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get up and do it. And the payoff of being
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the hangout house for us.
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Is the kids being.
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Able to gather and not feel like they're being spied
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on or.
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Just they can be theirself.
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There are times when it feels like revolving door or
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like our grocery bill has doubled overnight, but the rewards
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are huge, guys, They're huge. We're building relationships with our
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kids and their friends and creating sense of community and
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giving them a safe space where they feel loved and supported.
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It's very important for kids to feel that, very very
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important for a kid to feel that. Plus we see
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how this has helped our kids build confidence and learn
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how to be good friends. They've also seen the value
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in kindness and hospitality, which we hope they'll carry.
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Into their own lives as they grow up.
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I want my kids as friends, even if they don't
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come from a very well home. I want their friend,
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whoever that may be, to know that they always can
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come here. Whether they don't have food, I will open
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my doors to them. I don't ever want to see
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a child go hungry, ever, And I've brought many kids
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into my home to make sure that they are loved,
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cared for, and to know that if they ever needed
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somebody to talk to, me and my husband would always
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open our hearts and our ears to listen.
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They may not like our advice, but.
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You know, we've had many kids come to us asking
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for advice on what to do, and they've taken our
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advice and they've used it, and they'll come back around
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and they'll be like, you know, when you told me
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to go talk to my dad, you led me in
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the right path, and I want to thank you for that.
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And we're always like, you don't ever have to thank
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us for any of that. That is what parents are
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supposed to do. And I think that's why a lot
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of our kids as friends like to come and hang
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out here. We are considered the cool parents, and to
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be honest, I don't think I'm that cool. I don't
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think my husband's that cool. But just them knowing that
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they have a place to go and just be themselves
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with no judgment. I think that helps. I honestly think
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that helps. And it makes me laugh because I listen
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to them and they talk to me like I'm one
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of their friends most of the time, and I just
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try and show them that not all things have to
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be a bad setting. You know, I don't want them
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to be in a bad setting. I want them to
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also know, as I tell all of them my kids
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and their friends, even if my kids aren't at a
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party and you end up at a party and you
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are wanting to leave, call I will take you home
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and drop you off. I will make sure you are safe.
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And I sure hope one day if they encounter a
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situation like that that they will call. If they're too
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scared to call their parents themselves, they can call me,
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because I would drop everything to make sure any child
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is safe, because I know, deep down in my heart
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there are other parents out there like me that would
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do the same for my children if that ever did happen.
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I know quite a few parents that would do it
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for my kids. So just being that parent parents helps
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helps a lot, and I want them to carry it
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on to their children as well.
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So I am going to end this.
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By saying, that's how we made our home the hub
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for our kids and their friends. If you're thinking about
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doing the same, start small, maybe with a game night,
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or a pizza party, or even just a movie, and
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see how it grows from there. You don't need a
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perfect home or a huge budget to create welcoming space.
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We don't have a huge home, but we always make space.
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All you need is love, a little creativity, and a
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willingness to embrace chaos, because I'm going to tell you