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Welcome back to We are the Hands, and today we're
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diving into a topic that is at the heart of parenting,
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making sure can have everything they need growing up. And no,
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we're not just talking about the material things, so those
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are important too, we mean emotional, mental, and physical needs,
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the things that truly shape them into healthy, happy.
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And well rounded people.
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As parents of thirteen kids, we've had to learn a
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lot about balancing needs, prioritizing what really matters, and figuring
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out how to give each child what they need without
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losing ourselves in the process. It's the journey and we're
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still learning. So today we'll cover basic necessities Verse one,
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emotional needs, the important of stability and consistency, opportunities for growth,
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and how.
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We teach responsibility. Let's jump in so basic needs verse once.
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In our home, we all want to give our kids
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the world, but reality doesn't always allow that, and honestly,
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giving kids everything they want isn't always what's best for them,
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let's face it. In our house, we make sure every
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child has a safe place to live, nutritionous foods to eat,
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clothing that fits them and makes them feel good, school
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supplies and access to learning material else and healthcare and
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wellness support. When it comes to once, we try to
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teach gratitude and appreciation. Our kids know that just because
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they want something doesn't mean they're going to get it
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right away. All of our kids know that because money
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is tight when you have thirteen kids, we encourage them
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to work for extras, save up for the things that
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they really want, and understand the difference between needs and wants.
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I mean, it's simple, guys. Sometimes it can be difficult,
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you know, because kids don't always understand. We've had moments
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where one of the kids has really wanted the latest
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gadget meaning PS five, you know whatever, or a brand new,
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brand name pair of shoes. We've used these opportunities to
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talk about budgeting, making choices, and understanding value. Sometimes we
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say yes, sometimes we say no, and sometimes we help
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them figure out a way to earn it themselves. Obviously,
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kids need shoes, they need clothes, they need all kinds
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of stuff. But as a parent of thirteen, you want
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your kids to have name brand stuff because schools kids
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are mean and they'll eventually get bullied, you know, if
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they don't have the name brand stuff. And it's sad
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to say that because it shouldn't be like that, but
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it is and it's horrible. So obviously we make sure
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our kids have shoes, clothes, whatever they need. When it
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comes to like the newest name brand shoe and let's
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say it's one hundred and fifty dollars, my kids are
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going to work for that. This balance is key in
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helping them grow into responsible, financially aware adults. I mean,
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who doesn't want their kids to know that stuff. Meeting
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physical needs is one thing, but emotional needs that takes
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daily effort. In a big family, it's easy for the
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child to feel lost in the mix if we're not
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intentional about giving them time and attention. So here's what
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our family focuses on. We focus on one on one time,
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especially with the older kids. You'll go with them someplace,
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or maybe sit down at nighttime and have a chat
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with them, or a walk around the block. Individual attention
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makes a huge difference for the little kids. It's sitting
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down with them, especially at dinner time they like to
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be heard and reading a bedtime story to them, or
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just having a conversation with them just to make them
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feel that they're being seen and heard. Sometimes kids just
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need to be heard, even when their problems seems small
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to us, they are big to them. We make sure
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they know their voices matter, affirmation and encouragement. It's easy
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to correct behavior, but we also try to point out
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to them the good we see in them. Hard work, kindness, creativity.
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Them are things that our kids need to know, and
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it couldn't come from somebody better than a parent. Life
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isn't always fair, and we don't shield our kids from that. Instead,
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we teach them how to handle disappointments, setbacks, and struggles.
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They need to know that, they need to know how
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to handle that stuff. Our kids also know that home
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is a place where they can be themselves without fear
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of any rejection. We've seen firsthand that when a child's
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emotional needs are met, they're more confident, kinder to others,
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and better able to handle life's challenges. I've seen it
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with every single one of our children. You know, I
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couldn't be prouder to say that every one of our
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kids handles situations different, but they handle it very well.
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You know.
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Providing stability and consistency is a big deal for our kids.
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Even in the craziness of our big family, we work
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hard to maintain structure and consistency. Some things that provide
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stability in our home are routines, from bedtime to family meals.
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Them are important and they make our kids more secure.
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They know that family values, what we stand for and
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what is expected of them. That is very important as well.
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We have an open communication in our home. We talk
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things through so they aren't left guessing trying to figure
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out what they're looking for. That's a good thing. And
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then we also have faith and morals. This gives them
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a foundation to stand on when you know, life gets tough.
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Even when life throws curveballs like unexpected expenses or job
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changes or health struggles. We show our kids how to
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handle uncertainty with faith and resilience. I see it every
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day with my children and how they're handling things. That
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is a big thing for us. Giving our kids the
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opportunity to grow. While we focus on their immediate needs,
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we also think long term. We want our kids to
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have opportunities to explore, to grow and develop into their
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best selves. Encouraging their interest, whether it's in sports, art,
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you know, whatever it may be. We help them develop
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their passions, teaching life skills from cooking, budgeting to fixing
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things around home. They learn to be self sufficient. And
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every single one of our kids know that. From the
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thirty year old all the way down to the seven
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year old, every one of them know that. You know,
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they've all jumped in to help with different things, whether
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it be helping cook dinner, taking out trash, you know,
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whatever it may be, they are always We're always teaching
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them something new, pushing them to step outside their comfort zone.
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You know that growth doesn't happen in a bubble. We
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encourage our kids to try new things, even when they
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are scared. It's important to step out of your comfort zone,
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to try something new because then you know, it just
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opens you up for bigger and better and it makes
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the child feel good regardless of what it is. And
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then we also teach our kids to dream. We want
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them to believe they can do big things, but also
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that it takes hard work and dedication to get there.
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One thing we remind our kids often we'll give them
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all the tools they need, but what they do with
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them is up to them. And we've had to do
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it a lot, but they ran with it and it's
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amazing to see that, every one of them. A big
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part of making sure our kids have what they need.
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Isn't just about giving. It's also about teaching them to
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take care of themselves. Chores everyone pitches in, no one
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is exempt. That's a family team thing, and our kids
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know that we don't rush into fix everything. Learning from
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mistakes is very powerful, and every one of our kids
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have learned from their mistakes, and me and my husband
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just sit back and watch it with our own eyes
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and we see them fix it on their own. So
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that makes us feel good as parents. Teaching financial responsibility
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from saving birthday money tooth fairy money, you know, their
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first job, whatever they get money for or whether it
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be you know, helping out in the yard, they learn
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to manage their own money. And now the younger two,
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they like to spend their money quick, and I'm always
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telling them save, save, saved, because you're gonna want something
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better and it's gonna cost more money and you aren't
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gonna have that money. You need to save it. Instead
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of fixing their problems, we encourage problem solving. We ask
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what do you think you should do? Because that's a
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question that's gonna make them think of should I do
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it or shouldn't I. So that's another thing. When our
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kids leave the house. We want them to know how
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to function in the real world. That means balancing freedom
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with responsibility, knowing when to ask for help, and having
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the confidence to tackle challenges head on. And I have
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no issues watching my kids make mistakes or fail at
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something that isn't going to hurt them, but they're going
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to learn from it. And as I watch all our
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kids go through life from the time they're little until now,
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each one of them has fixed things along their journey.
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Money has never been an issue for our older kids
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when it comes to saving, because they know that nothing
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is free in life. You always have to sacrifice some things,
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whether it be well, I got to pay this bill,
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so I don't have money for that. Maybe you wanna
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redo your car and you just don't have the money,
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so you do little things at first. Maybe you're gonna
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buy new seat covers one day, and then next time
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you get paid, you're gonna do the breaks. Or you
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got to make sure they're setting their priorities where they
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need to go. The brakes come first, and then all
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the little extras come in. I've seen my kids make
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a few mistakes on that end because they'll buy like
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speakers that they don't need, but they want and then
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they're oh, I should have bought brakes, I should have
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did an oil change. So it's not like our kids
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are stupid. Sometimes they just make their own decisions and
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that's okay. It's a learning experience for them, and we
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want them to know, Hey, you caught it yourself. You've
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seen it for yourself. You knew what you needed to do.
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Next time, it won't happen that way. You'll do the
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right thing first. So seeing our kids do all this
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and watching them to us as parents, we know we
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did something right because nobody is perfect and we make mistakes.
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Everybody makes mistakes. There is no book that life hands
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you of what you need to do in life and
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how you need to do it. You learn as you
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go and as young adults, I can say our children
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are very smart. Our children know what they gotta do.
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If they make a mistake, it's not super big, they'll
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fix it. I wouldn't say our kids are failures because
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I know our kids are not failures whatsoever. They are
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very smart children. We are always getting compliments on how
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our kids are. They have a great work ethic, they're
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very smart with money. All of them save and I'm
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gonna tell you, if our kids get anything five hundred
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or lower in their bank account, they will stop spending
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their money because at five hundred dollars, they think they're broke.
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And I'm glad because I want them to save, safe, save.
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I've always told them, if you hit a certain point
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in your bank account and you feel like you know
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that's your limit, don't use any money until you get
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paid again. Save, save, saved, because let's say you blow
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a tire, where's that money coming from. You're gonna have
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to find money or go without a vehicle with maybe
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you donut tire. My kids are very smart. I am
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so proud of what all of our children have accomplished
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in life so far, and I cannot wait to see
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what the younger three have in store because they are
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learning not only from us, but from their siblings. They
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see their struggles, they're like, oh, especially Madison, She's always like, well,
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you shouldn't have spent that money. You should have done this,
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or you should have boughten. That stuff that they need
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comes first once or on the back burner, and if
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you want it bad enough, you will save that money
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to buy it. And that's what our children do so.
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It's always great seeing your kids struggle a little bit
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it but then they fix it and then they don't struggle.
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That's a good thing for us. I love seeing that,
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and I love that the younger ones see it because
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it's teaching them as well as us as parents teaching
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the younger ones as well. I'm gonna end this with
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my final thoughts, and I just want to say parenting
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is never about being perfect. It's about being intentional making
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sure kids have what they need. Growing up is a
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constant balancing act between providing, guiding and letting them figure
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things out on their own. Kids don't need perfection. They
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need parents who show up, who care, and who create
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an environment where they feel safe, loved, and prepared for
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the real world. We'd love to hear from you. You
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can send us a Facebook message on our We are
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the Hansen's Facebook page. You can send us an email
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at we Arethehanson Show at gmail dot com, and please
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go over and like our YouTube channel. We are the Hansens.
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Thanks for joining us today and we are the Hansens
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until next time. Keep loving your family and showing up
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for your kids. It makes all the difference in the world.