May 21, 2025
We Are the Hansons: How We Handle Negativity with Grace and Grit
In this heartwarming and candid episode of We Are the Hansons, we open up about how our family chooses to respond when others pass judgment or make negative comments about our lives. Whether it’s criticism about having a large family, our values, or simply how we live day-to-day, we share real stories and our honest, sometimes funny, always loving approach to staying grounded and united. Join us as we talk resilience, boundaries, and the power of choosing kindness over conflict.
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Well, welcome to We are the Hansons. I'm Jeremy Hanson,
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the husband and the dad, and you.
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Are Maya Hanson, the mom and the wife.
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Mom and the wife. Okay, and today we're going to
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do a little bit different of a show, mostly because
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somebody pissed me off about what they said, so I
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thought I would come up with some of the things,
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at least some of the the ten things that people
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say most to us that are just kind of weird.
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You know, we chose to have a lot of kids.
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We have thirteen kids, just so people know a large family.
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We're entrepreneurs, both self employed. We have been four years
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ups and downs, Like we're going to do a show
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one of these days about being homeless with our kids,
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which we were. Yes, you know, lots of surprise. Is
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not like any I mean, we're not any different than
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any other family. Instead of like you know, you going
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and grabbing a couple of chicken breasts to make supper,
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we got to go to Costco and bring a tank
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with to load up the food.
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Yeah.
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Yeah, it's kind of the same thing. But you wouldn't
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believe how rude some people are very very rude, like
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to the point like they almost want to pick a
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fight with you. Yep, you know, and they will say
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some of the rudest things, you know, and you get
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to a point where you get tough skin and it
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kind of rolls off your back. But today I don't
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know why this person kind of made me angry. It
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wasn't even in person, it was actually online.
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Yeah, people are rude.
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Yeah, well, I'm going to say I'll tell you which
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one it was as we go through them. But the
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number one thing that gets asked of us are are
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they all yours? In twenty two years, how many times
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have you answered that question? Are they all yours?
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I think I've answered it quite a bit.
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Yeah, what a thousand?
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Yeah? Yeah, Yeah.
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I don't know if it's because you know, people are stunned,
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or you know, do they wonder if all your children
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are biological? Are they adopted? Are they blended? It's ad
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a mix, but they got to know. It's like it's
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something with the gossip. You know. You can even even
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in church sometimes you will feel like people talking like, man,
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they got thirteen kids? Yeah, I mean, don't you feel
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that I do.
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I look at it like, you know, we don't have
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to explain to anybody, and just because we're a blended family,
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that doesn't change that those kids are ours, all of ours.
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Yeah, I mean, it's it is. It is a weird dichotomy,
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and people really don't understand it. I don't think that
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people understand anything if it's not about selfishness, if it
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takes you not to be selfish, I don't think people
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can understand it.
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Do you No?
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How about this one? And this is basically what the
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guy said today. This is number two. But this guy
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was responding to a post of all our pictures together
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and it wasn't even all the kids, it was just
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kids I think from maybe it was Easter, I can't remember.
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But this guy responded to He's like, and this one
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gets probably the second most of all time. Do you
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know what causes that hurt?
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Yeah?
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Have you gotten that?
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Yes?
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Yeah? Well no, we have no idea what causes it?
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You know, because when they say this, usually they have
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a smirk on their face. They're trying to be funny,
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they're trying to be nosy, they're just they're trying to
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be pricks. How do you usually respond to that?
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I tell them, like, it's none of your business. There
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are kids regardless, and I'll do what I want because
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guess what we pay for our children.
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We pay our own way, right.
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Not only do we pay, but we spend the proper
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amount of time with them. We've done things even though
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it's extremely hard. We've done things the right way, and
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some people just can't get around that. They just can't
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understand that. And then you get people that will say
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that that are like super tree huggers, and they will
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say things like the world's overpopulated, or they'll say something
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like why don't you let the rest of the world
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have some kids? And I'm like, hey, I'm not stopping
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anybody from having kids, you know what I mean? Like,
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here's the thing that'll really make them mad. I chose
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to have this many kids, especially those people. I chose this,
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and I did it, and I love it. And I
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wouldn't change my life for anything, wouldn't change my kids
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for anything, wouldn't change the struggles we went through. I
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wouldn't change a thing. And I absolutely love it. And
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if it makes you mad, well compliments to me. I'm happy, right,
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Isn't that the way you feel about it?
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That is how I feel.
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So I mean that one's probably the one that will
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get me the most, you know, hot and bothered and angry,
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just because they're not coming usually from a place of like,
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you know, how do you do this? How do you
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do that? They're coming from a place like, well you pricks,
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or you know, what's wrong with you? Or they're you know,
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there's something wrong with you, or don't you care about this?
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Or don't you care about that? Those type of people.
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Yeah, yep.
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And they often try to flip it that they're being.
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Not enough time being spent with them.
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Yeah, or they try and make it sound like they're
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not being jerks winch. In reality, the way they say
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it and the way they respond to your response shows
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there how they are.
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Yeah, some people are just a holes, right, yes, and
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that they are. And you're a little bit nicer about
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it most of the time than I am. Like I
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have no problem calling somebody, uh you know, I got
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a plethory dirt bag. Well that'd be mild for me.
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But you know, just because when you're doing it to
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try to start something, I have no problem meeting me
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at the line. Yeah, that's kind of where I'm at.
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So and then then we get questions from people and
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usually these are people that have already had a kid
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or two, they will say something like, oh, how do
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you afford all those kids? And you know, for me,
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that's just a practical question, that's you know, definitely rooted
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in understanding or or concern. Maybe it's just disbelief because
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they know how expensive it is to raise a big family.
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Yeah, it is expensive, and we've had our struggles. But
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one thing I can say, our kids have never gone
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without right.
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They've always had something come hell or high water. I mean,
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we've done what we need to do. And I think
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I think every family gets into a jam once in
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a while. Most of the time you can get out
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of it yourself if you are willing to pay and
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sacrifice the things that you need to. And usually that
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sacrifices time, you know, like more time at work, or
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more time doing a side hustle or something like that.
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But what I have found is we've created systems in
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our house, even down to the way we cook food,
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how we dish food up, how we eat, how we
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wash the dishes, what we do before we go to bed.
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All those things are systems. And when you have a
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lot of kids, systems really really help, especially when it
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comes to well, how do you afford all those kids? Well,
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we have systems.
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Yep, we have systems, and you know, whatever it takes
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to make sure our kids have.
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We do it.
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Yeah. That's it's almost like it's an attitude. Also, it's
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the way that we look at things.
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We wanted these kids, so we're going to make a way.
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Right And you know, trust me, it was not all
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sunshine and rainbows. It wasn't that way at all. It
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was a lot of hard work. It was a lot
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of sacrifice, especially for the parents. I mean, that's just
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what we do as a parent, is you sacrifice to
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make sure that the dreams of that your kids come true.
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And even for our kids. I'll give you an example.
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My daughter, she's going to college and you know, she
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got a lot of like a grant and scholarships and
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worked very hard, and she's still struggling right now. And
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I see it. And I you know, I was telling
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you the other day, I was like, you know, this
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struggle is actually going to benefit you later. Like you know,
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I understand, you're never going to go hungry. You can
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stay at mom and dads if you need to for
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a while, as long as you follow the rules, like
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none of your crap TV on my TV. But no, seriously,
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I think that struggle benefits you way more, especially in
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the long run, than having it everything easy.
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Well, you don't want your kids to have everything easy
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or handed to them.
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No Otherwise, when I'm dead and gone, how are they
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ever going to do for their kids and their grandkids
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unless you learn the struggle and you learn to accept everything.
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And I think that's when people say, well, how do
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you afford that? That's what we did. We did our struggling.
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You know, we went through and said, it doesn't matter
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what it takes, We're going to do it.
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There's a lot of calling the electric company and getting
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the payment postponed or you know, just to set it
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so we could pay this bill on this day and
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then next pay this day and just on and on.
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And we did it to make sure that our kids
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could have right.
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So I mean, yeah, and that's not what a question
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I don't I don't get mad at that question. If
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they want to ask, well how do you do this? Hey,
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I'm all here, we went through the struggle, we know
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what it's like. We can give you the tips and
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tricks that work for us.
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We still to this day tell our kids, like when
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we see them struggling, especially the ones that have kids
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themselves already, are like, hey, if you do this and this,
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you'll have more to do this, or.
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If if they listen, Yeah, and that's that's a big if,
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if they listen, you know, because you know, kids are
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humans and after you turn eighteen, you got to become
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your own person. So we try really hard to support
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them and what they want to do with being also
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being cautious and trying to tell them what we would do,
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but trying to support them for what they want.
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To do, trying to guide them in the right direction
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and the right path, right.
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So, and that kind of I don't know, it's just
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kind of one of them learning curves that you have
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as a parent. And another question I get quite frequently
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is do you have a favorite? How many times have
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you been asked that?
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A lot?
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Yeah, And the truth is I have never honestly had
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a favorite, maybe a favorite to discipline, just because each
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one of them have their own persona, their own you know, ego,
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their own Some listen all the time, some didn't listen
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at all. I mean, every kid is different, but you
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you love them all the same. Yeah, And you know,
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I don't think you can say that you have a favorite.
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I don't have a favorite.
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I don't have a favorite.
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No, it's it's but they're they're definitely different kids, and
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there's some things that you like about them, and there's
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some things that you don't like about them. And it's
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just a lot of those things that you don't like
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about them they grow out of. Like I've noticed that
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kids are like in stages, like right now, my daughter.
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You know, when you're young, you have a heart, when
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you old, you have a brain, And she's kind of
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in the have a heart thing right now and just
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this this total bleeding heart and it's like, what are
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you thinking as a dad? That's what I'm saying. But
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I love her to death and I know that it's
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just a phase. But we went through that with all
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of them, wouldn't you say, Yeah, give an example.
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Okay, So our kids are well, especially the girls, they
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tend to watch really sappy movies. Well, yeah, they will
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watch them and then they'll come in later and they'll
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be crying about something that had nothing to do with
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the movie, but they think.
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That it's happened.
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Like when our son Gavin moved out Maddie came in
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bawling her eyes out, and we try to explain to
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them there's no sense in crying. You're not gonna not
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ever see them again. You'll see them, right, you know,
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