Jan. 28, 2025
We are the Hansons How I deal with Nepotism In The Schools
How I deal with nepotism in schools when my kids are mistreated and the nepotism, we tackle a sensitive yet relatable topic for many parents: navigating the challenges of favortisim and unequal treatment in schools. Drawing from personal ecperiences, we discuss how we address situations where our kids have been mistreated or overlooked due to nepotism or bias. We'll share stragies for advocating for your children, fostering open communication with educators, and setting boundries when necessary to ensure fairness. It's a conversation about standing up for what's right while maintaining respect and teaching our kids resilience and self-advocacy.
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Welcome back to We Are the Hansens, the podcast where
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we talk about the joys and challenges.
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Of raising a large family.
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Managing daily chaos, and navigating life's twists and turns. Today,
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we're diving into the topic that has probably frustrated many
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parents out there, nepotism and favoritism in schools. When our
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kids are mistreated or overlooked because of these dynamics, it's
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not just.
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Frustrating, it's heartbreaking.
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I'll be sharing some personal experiences how we've handled these
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situations and strategies for advocating for our kids effectively without
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burning bridges the problem with nepotism in school. Let's start
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by unpacking what nepotism can look like in a school setting.
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It's not always blatant as we might think. It's often subtle,
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but it can deeply impact kids.
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It might be the coach.
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Who always puts their kid in, you know, the starting lineup,
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regardless of skill, or a teacher who gives treatment to
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children of staff members.
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That has been a big thing.
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In most of the schools my children have attended, and
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I can tell you it's very frustrating. It can even
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be favoritism towards certain families who are well known or
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influential in the community, and I've seen it with my
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own two eyes. These situations can leave other kids feeling ignored, unvalued,
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or even humiliated. I'm going to start off by telling
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you a story, actually a couple stories. First story, my
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boys have always been into football, and I watched my
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boys play hard, they get good grades, and I sit
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on the sidelines in the stands watching my children. My
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boys stand on the sideline or sit on a bench
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and not be able to play till the last two
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minutes of a game. Every kid on that field whose
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name was called over the loudspeaker for getting a touchdown
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or catching a pass or a tackle.
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Have all been big names.
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Whether it be a teacher's kid or somebody that's been
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a big part of the community. It is seen, and
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my children and me are not the only parents who
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have seen it. And it's very frustrating because I see
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my kids go out there working hard, probably harder than
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a lot of the kids that got to play, and
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they probably got better grades than the kids that were
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on the field. But because those kids had a name,
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they put my child on the sideline and let those
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kids play and to me, that is disrespectful and mistreatment
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because every child who goes out to play basketball, football, soccer, volleyball, cheer,
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they should all be able to be part of the game.
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To me, it's about a game and it's for every child.
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To the schools.
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On the other hand, it's about winning, and I'm sorry,
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but my kids can be just as much of that
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win as the kids on the field playing too. So
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I've always sat back and watched, and you know, I've
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made contact with the school, and my kids ended up
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dropping football and not rejoining because of that reason.
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They busted their butt.
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They were there at every practice, they were there at
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every weightlifting, they were there for everything, and they played
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their hearts out and they still got sat on a
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bench or stood on the sidelines. And then they put
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them in the last two minutes of the game and
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my boys are, you know, getting tackles, catching passes, making touchdowns,
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and they're still pushed to the side, and that infuriates
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me to the max. I'm going to tell you another story.
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My daughter Morgan decided she wanted to drop cheer and
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join foot. She wanted to play football with her older brother.
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So I told her, if you want to join. You're
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going to have to work hard. It's not going to
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be fun, but you know, I have faith that you
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could do it. So she decided to join in eighth grade,
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and she was joining for freshman year. She went to
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every weightlifting, every practice, and it was the end of
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the year and for eighth grade, all the football players
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were called down to the cafeteria at the middle school,
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and so my daughter went walking down there. The principal
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looked at my daughter and said, you need to go
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back to class.
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You're not in football.
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And my daughter said, well, I am. I've been going
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to every practice. I'm going to go for football. And
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she said, no, you need to go back to class. Well,
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she embarrassed my daughter in front of all the football players,
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and all of them football players stood up for my
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daughter and said, no, no, she really has been coming
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to every practice and weightlifting and everything, and she.
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Still sent my daughter back to class.
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Well, during class change, my daughter went to the bathroom
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and she sent me a text and she said, Mom,
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you know, Doc Rogers embarrassed me in front of all
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of these kids. And she was in tears over it.
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And I said, don't worry about it. I'll take care
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of it, so me at that point, you don't embarrass
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any child in front of other children. If you have
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something to say to that child, you pull them aside
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and take them away from that group of kids and
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speak to them by yourself. Don't make them stand out
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in the crowd because you think you can tell them
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what they can and can't be part of.
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So I called the school and.
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I got the Rogers on the phone and I asked
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her who the parent was and she said you, And
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I said, my daughter asked if she could join football
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and I told her she could.
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Well, I don't think that girls are.
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Allowed to join and I said, whoa, whoa, wait a minute,
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who are you to say if a female joins football?
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And she said that Misha, she didn't think would allow
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a female to join. And I said, hmm, that's funny
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because Kabul School has a female player and she's not
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been discriminated against in any way, shape or form because
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she's a girl and joined football.
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So what's the problem.
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She said, Well, I'll have to talk to my husband
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and I said, no, I know the rule. I've looked
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it up, and you overstepped your bounds by telling my
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daughter that she wasn't joining the football team. I said,
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you got five minutes to go find my daughter and
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apologize to her for embarrassing her in front of all
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of them boys, or I'm coming to the school.
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It wasn't.
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Maybe four minutes later and Morgan texts me from school
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and said, mom, Doc Rogers just came and pulled me
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out and apologized to me. Well, needless to say, at
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that point, Morgan was done. She did not want to
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go back. She did not want to see those boys
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again because that principle embarrassed her in front of all
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them kids. It made me so angry as a parent.
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You do not do that to any child, period. It
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was almost like she wanted Morgan to get picked on.
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She was so embarrassed about it. We'll needless to say,
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from that point on, Doc Rogers never questioned my children
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ever again, because she knew she was wrong. I don't
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take that lightly what she did, because that's when kids
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do stupid things because some ignorant teacher or principal or
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any staff at a school embarrassed them in front of
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other kids.
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They don't even want to go to school. You know, it's.
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Horrible, So needless to say, that's what happened there? The
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next story I'm going to tell you because this bothers
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me as well. Every time a child is sick, they
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get sent to the nurse. Well, one day, my thirteen
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year old had to go to the nurse because she
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was sick. She had thrown up, and they sent her
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to the office. So she goes in by the nurse
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and she said she wanted to call her mom, that
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she'd just thrown up and she wanted to go home.
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She didn't feel good. Well, this nurse tells her, I
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think you're okay. I don't think you need to call
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your mom. And Madison's like, no, I need to call
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my mom. I threw up, I don't feel good. I
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just want to go home and sleep, lay down, you know, rest.
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Well she what Madison called me. So I get the
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phone call. Madison said that she threw up and she
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wanted to come home. So I said, okay, I'll be
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there shortly to get you. I hang up the phone
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and I go to the school and mind you, when
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I get there, I go in check Mattie out. We
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get in the car and Madison just starts bawling her
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eyes out, like what in the world, why are you crying?
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And she said the school nurse told her that because
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she missed school for her tumor removal in her neck,
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she was out five days. She told her that she
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had already missed too much school for that, so she
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didn't really need to go home. She should have stuck
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it out. And that made me mad too, because I
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look at it like all of these kids with big
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names are traveling all over the place for rodeos or
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vacations or whatnot. How come they're not getting talked to
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about missing school. Madison had a doctor's excuse because she
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had an operation to have a tumor remove from her neck,
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so her absences were excused. There's no reason that nurse
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needed to bring up anything to her. So I told
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Madison I would deal with it. I called the school
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and I got the nurse on the phone, and I said,
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are you her parent? She said no, and I said, okay,
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I am the parent. And I told Madison that if
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she is ever feeling sick at school, she is always
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able to call me. There should be no questions asked.
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And as for you telling her that she can't call
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me and she should stay in school because she's already
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missed enough because of her surgery. That's a no no.
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If you have a problem with how many days my
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child has missed in school, you should be calling me
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her mom. And those school days that she missed were excused.
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I said, So, don't ever question when my child comes
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to you sick. Don't ever question her about calling her mom,
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because how would you like it if I made you
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stay in school and you were sick Like that's not acceptable.
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Not only is she sick, but she is going to
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give it to somebody else at school. And she apologized
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and said, well, I didn't mean it like that, And
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I said, well, you sure meant it some way because
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you made her cry. I told her, don't ever question
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my kids again ever, And needless to say, she ended
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up apologizing to me. But you're overstepping your bounds when
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it comes to my children, because my children don't miss
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a lot of school, so when they do miss, it's
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for a good reason, and most every time they miss,
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they always have a doctor's note. That being said, them
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are a few of my stories because I sit there
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and think of all these kids that get to go
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on vacations with their families, and they're gone for seven
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eight nine days, nothing ever is said to them, and
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then they'll come back to school for a couple of
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weeks and then they're gone again for a rodeo or something.
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How do them kids? And mind you, the kids I'm
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talking about, they have big names in the area, They
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are well known, very wealthy people, but nothing and most
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of it is the nieces or nephews of a school teacher.
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And to me, that's wrong.
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Just because they're your family doesn't mean that they can
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get away with it. What's good for them is good
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for the other children in that school period. A kid
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is a kid, So I'm not big into the public
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school system because of that, there is always favoritism and nepotism.
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Here's another story that I wanted to share because this
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opened my eyes too, favoritism in school. Madison had a
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science fair and we worked so hard on her project.
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I went to the science fair and she was so
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excited thinking she was gonna win something, even if it
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was third place, fourth place, whatever, she was for sure
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she was going to get something. And I'm sitting there
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listening to all the awards and then call the names.
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And I am not kidding you when I say this.
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Almost every child that received an award for first place,
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second place, third place, best project, just different awards. It
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was all the kids that were related to the teachers,
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the principals, daughter one, the nieces.
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And nephew's one. It's like, what in the world is happening.
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I told Maddie we left there.
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She said, Mom, I knew when they started calling names
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on the intercom telling who won and to come and
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get your ribbon and your award that I was not picked.
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And I said, that's okay.
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Them kids are going to be sorry when they get
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older because they were favored. And it just makes my
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kids stronger knowing and opening their eyes to see what me,
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as a parent see when I go to that stuff,
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so they'll be watching for that when their kids go
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to school. As parents, we want our kids to feel
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that hard work and fairness is rewarded, but when nepotism
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