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Welcome to We are the Hansens, the podcast where we
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share the joys, challenges, and adventures of life in a
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big family. I'm buy A Hansen, and today we're diving
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into the topic that's close to my heart, the role
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of extended family in providing emotional support during difficult times.
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Life isn't always easy, and as parents, partners, and family members,
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we all face moments that test us. But one of
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the most beautiful things about family, especially a big one
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like ours, is how everyone rallies together when times get taught.
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I want to start off by reflecting on the importance
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of family in our family. We've been through our share
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of challenges, unexpected health situations, financial stress, and the day
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to day chaos that comes with raising kids. What's gotten
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us through so many of these moments isn't just our
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immediate household, but also the support of our extended family.
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We've leaned on grandparents, aunts, uncles, siblings, and even close
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family friends who feel like family to us. Their presence
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has been a lifeline in times of need for our family.
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I never have to question myself who to call when
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we need help, and when I mean by needing help,
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I mean in an emergency situation. If we need to
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call somebody, I know exactly who I'm picking up the
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phone to call for help, and those people I will
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always hold dear to my heart. I'm gonna give you
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a little bit first, you know, just a story to start.
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When I went into labor with my last baby, Anna,
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nobody knew I was pregnant, and we didn't tell anybody
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until I was in the ambulance being transferred from one
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hospital to another. I didn't want to tell anybody because
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of the situation. We didn't know our baby he was
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going to make it. So when I knew I was
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going into the hospital and I wasn't getting out, my
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family that I reached out to were my mother, my
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mother in law, my sister in laws, and my sisters.
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I did reach out to some friends for prayer because
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at that point, everybody knew what was happening. Everybody knew
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I was having a baby, and I was having a
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baby very early, so at that point it was a
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little easier for me to reach out and ask for help.
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I didn't want to reach out and ask for help,
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but I did because I needed Jeremy to be there
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at the hospital with me. But I also needed somebody
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for my children. Needless to say, after we found out,
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you know that I was going to be stuck in
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the hospital for a while before I was coming home.
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Jeremy went home and was with the kids. Thank God
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for our older kids, because they really helped during that time.
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They did a lot, and I am so grateful for them,
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and I don't know how much more I can tell
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them how much I appreciate them for what they did
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when I was in the hospital. It's just a tremendous
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overfalling of love because they were there, they helped, they
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did a lot, and I'm grateful for that. I'm so grateful.
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But when the times really came down to it, when
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I needed my mom because I didn't know if Jeremy
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was going to make it to the hospital for my
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C section, my mom was there. After my Anna was born,
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my mother in law flew in, my sister in laws came.
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They helped tremendously, They brought food, they helped with the kids.
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Then when I got out, they were still there helping.
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And you never know who's going to be there for you,
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but the ones that do show up, it was much
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of a relief on me and Jeremy that we actually
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had people that cared enough to show up. I know
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my family lives very far from me eight hours, and
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I know that they can't always be here. Not everybody
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has the money to be here, so I understand, but
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sometimes in moments like that, you do wish you had
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family that would be there. My family was more there
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on the phone video. You know. If I needed to
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call him, i could, which I'm thankful for. Sometimes in
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those situations, you just want to hug your family. Needless
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to say, I couldn't do that. My mom and dad
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did come and visit me when I was in the hospital.
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My mom came and seeing my little Anna when she
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was in the nic You but I just wish I
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had them there all the time. During times like that,
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you just want to lean on your family. Pastor Jeff
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and his wife Tracy came, which was a big relief
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because just them praying for Anna and us was like
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a big lift of heavy weights off of our shoulders.
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After we knew that Anna was getting a little bit better,
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then we'd jump two steps forward and then we were
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knocked down two steps back. So it was like a
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revolving door. Like things were different every day. Sometimes she
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was getting better, sometimes she wasn't. Sometimes there was improvement,
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sometimes there wasn't. Sometimes things were getting worse. We did
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have family come in, you know, just because I wanted
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Anna to know that she had family there in case
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anything happened. I was hopeful that she would know that
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her family loved her and they were there. You know,
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I wish I could have had all of my family there,
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but it was just too hard to get everybody to
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come down here. Most of my family is in Wisconsin.
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We got Arizona, we got California and Illinois, so family
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was just spread all over the place, so it was
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really difficult. But to us, we learned that we could
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lean on grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, even close family friends
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who we felt like family. Their presence has been a
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lifeline in times of need for us. You know, there's
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only so much you can do when you're in a
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situation like that. Then when things started to get really
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rough for us is when we were having to travel
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back and forth to the hospital, plus work, plus take
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care of the kids at home. We were running out
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of money because we couldn't be at the hospital twenty
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four to seven like we wanted to be because we
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had other children at home that had to go to
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school and I didn't want to miss out on their
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school stuff either. And I knew my Aunta was safe
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at the hospital with the nurses she had and the doctors,
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so I felt a lot of relief from that, but
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the fuel just getting back and forth to the hospital
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was just so much. So I had to swallow my
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pride and reach out to Children's Miracle Network and ask
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for help. And that is what they are there for.
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And you know, had I not been able to reach
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out to them and get the help we did for Gas,
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I don't know where we'd be today. So I am
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an advocate. I try and tell everybody you know, if
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you ever need help, or if you're gonna e or donate,
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donate to Children's Miracle Network because they will help you,
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especially when you have a child in the hospital. They
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will do whatever they can to help you. So that
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was kind of our support during that difficult time. And
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there's been, you know, many other times that we've had struggles,
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and I always can reach out. Sometimes you don't want
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to reach out because there are family that won't help.
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To be honest, we are pretty blessed with most of
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the family we have, it's really hard to see them
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all the time. I know my kids would love to
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see their extended family a lot more, but it's just
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really hard to get everyone together. And so there are
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emotional struggles during all of this. After you know, difficult
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conversations or setbacks. I've had siblings and you know stuff
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text me just to check in. They didn't have all
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the answers that I was wondering, you know, or wanted
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to know, but they listened, and sometimes that's all I needed.
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Sometimes that's all Jeremy needed. You know. We celebrated the milestones,
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aimed the hardships, and still to this day we are
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going through hardships because of our little Anna is still
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having some medical issues and just trying to figure out
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why and what is going on. She is seven years
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old and doesn't have a voice of her own to
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be telling these doctors how she's feeling. She can tell
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me her parent, you know, she feels comfortable telling me.
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You know, I know she won't tell the doctors how
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she's feeling, or at least what she wants to tell them.
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She doesn't like taking all the meds she takes, and
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so I vent a lot to my family because it
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really makes me angry that you know, I'm her advocate.
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I fight for her every single day just to get
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answers to get some relief for her. Sometimes my family
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probably thinks I'm crazy or I'm very blunt and honest,
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and I don't hold back on anything. So when I
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talk to a doctor, if they don't listen to me,
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they are gonna know how I feel about that. Even
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during tough times, our extended family has reminded us to
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find joy, whether it's taking a trip somewhere where or
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when life feels overwhelming, just start creating traditions that bring
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us together. You know, it's helped us focus on good things.
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Some of the lessons that we've learned about relying on family.
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One of the biggest lessons I've learned is that it's
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okay to ask for help. You know, we often think
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we have to do everything on our own, but family
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exists to share the load. You know they will be there.
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Sometimes you can't reach them, so you jump from one
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family member to another just to get the craziness off
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your chest, and it works. Another lesson is the importance
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of maintaining those relationships when times are good. It's easier
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to lean on someone during hard times if you've already
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nurtured that bond during good times. So not all the
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time is your family going to have the answers you
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want to hear. But they're going to help guide you
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in the right direction. You know. I always talk about
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building a support of family culture because in our family,
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we've worked to create that culture of support. We encourage
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our kids to be there for one another, and we
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also model what it looks like to show up for
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the people that we care about. We want our kids
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to know that we want them to do the same.
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It's also about being intentional, and what I mean by
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that is we make a point to stay connected with
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our extended family through phone calls. We try to visit
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as much as possible, but it is really hard for
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us to visit because we have a big fan family,
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so our funds are limited. When we do visit, we
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try and make the best of it. These small efforts
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build the foundation for when life gets tough. I want
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to encourage my listeners that if you are going through
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tough times, I want to encourage you to lean into
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your family. It's not always easy. Sometimes relationships are very complicated,
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but you might be surprised by the love and support
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that you find when you open up to your family.
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It was not easy for us to open up to
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our family when our animal was in the hospital, but
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at that point we needed it. I have a Facebook
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family that has been since Anna was born and they
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still mind you. She is seven years old. They still
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to this day reach out to me to see and
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sometimes I feel like I'm closer with them people because
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they actually reach out to us and see how things
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are going. They check on Anna, they see how we're doing.
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It almost feels like they're part of our family. So
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if you are on the other side, if you see
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someone in your family struggling, reach out to them, even
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the smallest gesture, it can mean the world to someone
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who's struggling. I'm going to finish up here by some
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of my closing thoughts, and I want to say family
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is a gift, and it's during life's storms that we
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truly see the value. Whether it's through kind words, a
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helping hand, or just being present. Our extended family can
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provide the strength we need to get through anything. Your
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friends that have been there for you can be the
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strength to get you through anything. I want to thank
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you all for listening to We Are the Hansens. If
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this episode resonated with you, we'd love to hear your thoughts,
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share your own stories of how your family has supported you,
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or let us know how we've been able to be
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there for others. You can send us a message on
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our Facebook We Are the Hansens. You can send us
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an eat email at We Are THEE. Hansen's Show at
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gmail dot com, and please go subscribe to our We
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Are the Hansen's YouTube channel. Thank you