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Welcome to We are the Hansens. In today's episode, we're
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diving into the topic that's all about keeping the spark
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alive day nights for mom and dad. With a houseful
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of kids and a whirlwind of daily life, carving out
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time for each other isn't always easy, but it's so
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worth it.
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We'll share our favorite date night ideas, how we make
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it happen amidst the chaos, and why prioritizing your relationship
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as parents is key to the thriving family that you have.
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Let's get started. So today, I wanted to share this
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because there are a lot of couples out there with
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children that don't do date nights, and it is so
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important to do date nights. I'm going to tell you why.
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So date nights matter because it strengthens the relationship. It
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keeps things fresh for you and your significant other. The
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importance for us also is showing our kids a loving
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and connected partnership. Me and my husband, we don't get
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to do a lot of date nights one because we
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do have a lot of kids, and our kids are
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older and younger, so most of the time when we
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want to go on date nights, the older kids are
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out enjoying their life and so and it's really hard
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to find a babysitter that you can trust. We live
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in an area that I don't I think it's too
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high a crime for me maybe, or maybe I just
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see too much or hear too much because the city
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is big and we're not used to big city living.
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So date nights for us when we do go out,
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we usually ask one of the older kids, and I
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usually try and do it in advance so that they
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have time to plan and they can make sure they're
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not busy overcoming challenges. It's finding time with a busy
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schedule with a large family. We try to make it work.
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We try to work around our kids's schedules, so if
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our kids have things going on, we'll wait. We'll do
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our date night to different night. It's not a big deal.
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We're you know, we're parents, So we try and make
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time for ourselves doing other things. And most of the
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time that's after the kids go to sleep. So it's
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just it's really hard to find time when kids are
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going all over the place. We try to think of
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budget friendly ideas for couples, especially with type finances. Not everybody,
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especially with a large family. Finances are tight. You have
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a lot of kids, you have a lot of food
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going out, a lot of money for bills, so it
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is sometimes a struggle. We try to come up with
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ideas that don't cost a lot. One of our ideas
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that we like to go do is we like to
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go fishing. I'm going to tell you a little story.
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It's actually really funny. So when Jeremy and I first
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got together, it wasn't like right when we first got together,
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but it was we'd been together for a little while
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and we wanted to go fishing. So we got the
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idea to go night fishing. Not thinking about it. We
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went to the Cranberry bogs and we got these little
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bells that you put on the tip of your fishing pole.
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We had like three poles each, and we were going
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bullhead fishing. So Jeremy gets them all hooked up and
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we get all the worms on and we throw them
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all in. Mind you, the later it got, the worse
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the mosquitoes were, and it was pretty warm out. So
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we threw them all in, and we didn't think we
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were going to get any bites. While all the poles
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started going, all the bells started ringing, all at the
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same time. So me and Jeremy were running from one
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pole to another, reeling him in and setting him down,
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reeling in, setting him down, and we were laughing so
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hard because here we are not thinking. So we threw
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all six poles in the water, and they all had
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fish on them within a matter of two minutes of
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being in the water. So we get all the bullheads
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off the hooks and we are just covered in mosquite
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bites because the mosquitoes were carrying us away, and we're
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itching and trying to get worms back on the hooks,
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but instead we learned not to throw all six poles
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in the water at one time. We were doing one
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pole each because it just got so chaotic and we
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were running all over the place. But we left there
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with a ton of bullheads, and it was great because
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I like catching bullheads. They're a lot of fun to catch.
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And thanks to Gramma Darlene, Jeremy's grandma, she taught me
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how to skin them so we could eat the meat.
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So that was a funny story. If you guys only
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could have seen us running around, scratching all over, swatting
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at mosquitoes. We even had mosquito spray on and we
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were still getting carried away. It was hilarious at the
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time because we're like, God, we are not too bright
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coming out here with all these mosquitoes in the cranberry
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bogs in the marshy areas and throwing six poles in.
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But it was fun and we enjoyed it, and it
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was a memory that we always share. So you don't
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have to have a lot of money to go on dates.
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A lot of people ask don't you feel guilty leaving
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your kids when you go places? And my answer is
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you do you feel like, well, I should have probably
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done something with them, or you know, there's a lot
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of different things that you feel when you leave your
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kids with a babysitter or their siblings. How I got
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over that, and I'm sure Jerby would probably agree, is
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you have to show your kids date nights as a couple,
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strengthen your relationship. It keeps things alive. So that being said,
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it helped me not feel so guilty leaving them when
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I'm also teaching them that everybody, every parent needs time
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away from their kids. So our kids know when we
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say we're going on a date, they know that, oh,
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it's mom and Dad's time and we're going to do
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something fun at home while they're gone. So they usually
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do movie, popcorn and eat cookies and snacks and stuff,
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so they have fun while we're gone. So that kind
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of helped me get over the guilt feeling of leaving
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my kids to go on date night. I want them
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to see that when you have a spouse, you got
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to keep things alive, you got to keep that spark,
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and I want them to be that way with their
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significant other, and their significant others should feel the same.
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Favorite date night for us. Some of our date night
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ideas are a simple stay at home date, which is
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movie night between my husband and I. We will pick
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out a movie and get in bed and just watch
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a movie together. Some other idea is cooking at home
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together like something special, especially if all the kids are gone,
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or something just cooking with them your spouse. It's I mean,
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it's fun. Some of our creative date date night outings
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would be like mini road trips or trying a new
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hobby together. I mean, there's a ton of stuff that
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we like to do. Jeremy will say just get ready,
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we're going somewhere, and pretty much get your stuff on
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and get in the car. We're just gonna go take
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a road trip somewhere, or just something fun that we
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both enjoy doing, or maybe one of us enjoys doing
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that the other one has never done. We do it together.
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So that's another one. Quick date nights when time is limited,
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we do like a walk at the park, or we
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like to go out and have coffee together. I mean
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it's fun. Well, I think it's fun anyway, because you
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have time to sit there and chat with your significant
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other and drink coffee and just enjoy each other's company.
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Planning date nights as a team is like one of
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our roles of communication and discussing what you both need
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from your time together. So me and Jeremy, we will
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decide where we want to go, especially for our anniversary.
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Will decide, oh, well, let's go to Texas Roadhouse. So
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we plan to go to Texas Roadhouse because that's one
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of our favorite places to go and eat, and it's
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usually for our anniversary because we both like it. Other times,
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we will especially if we're going on a trip somewhere.
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If we're taking a trip to see family in Wisconsin,
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then we will decide, like Jeremy likes to go to
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Rocky with cocos, so we'll plan that during our trip,
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so it's all planned out and discuss between the two
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of us. So sometimes, you know, my sister will watch
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the kids up there for us while we go on
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our dates, or you know, it just depends on the plans.
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It's a little bit crazy, but we make time for it.
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I'm going to share some funny stories, and this is
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it's a hilarious one of our date nights. So one
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night we planned to go to Texas Roadhouse and it
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started freezing rain. Jeremy's like, come on, we have plenty
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of time. We'll get there, we'll eat, and we'll just
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be very careful going home. So we get going on
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our date and this is a date night fail. And
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I'm sure some of you have had this happen or
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not the same situation, but you've had a date night fail.
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We get going to our date and by the time
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we made it from our house to Texas Roadhouse, which
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was about fifteen minutes twenty minutes away. By the time
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we got there, we were froze in the car, like
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we could not get out of the car. At that point,
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I was like, it's getting late. It's gonna be really
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bad going home. Let's just figure out something else. So
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we decided to go to Walmart parking lot. Jeremy finally
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got his door open on his side. I climbed over
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the seat. We went into Walmart and we ended up
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getting mac and cheese and we went home and cooked
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it and ate mac and cheese. So that was our
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date night fail. That was a hilarious story. We were
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laughing about it in the car because we were stuck
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in the car. Needless to say, we got frozen again.
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By the time we got home. The roads were horrible.
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We slid down the hill through the stop light because
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the hill was huge. It was scary. I was so
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scared and Jeremy was laughing at me. How we involve
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our kids is like getting the older kids to babysit.
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Morgan she's always up for babysitting, especially if it's a
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date night for mom and dad, because she is one
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of the older girls and she knows that sometimes mom
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and dad need a break. So she's really good about
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helping when it comes to babysitting. She's always like, Hey,
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if you need a sitter, I'll watch them as long
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as I don't have work or something going on. We
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try to explain to our kids the importance of date
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nights because I want them, Like I said in the beginning,
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I want them to be able to go on date
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nights with their spouse when they have kids. Even when
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they don't have kids, I still want them to go
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on dates because it keeps the relationship alive. I also
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want them to see how important you are to that
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other person in your life, your spouse or significant other, whichever.
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You should be treated like a queen and he should
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be treated like a king on your date nights. That's
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you know, it's just really important for kids to see
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that mom and dad are happy and they're enjoying each other.
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So that's an important thing. I'm going to give you
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guys some tips for date nights. One tip that I
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want to talk about is getting away from stress. You
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just when you go on a date, it is just
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to get away. Don't think about anything else but the
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person you're with. Stress free, you know, work at keeping
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things alive. Some of ideas for starting small for people
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that haven't really done date nights is playing cards at home,
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or a chat over coffee, or go for ice cream.
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You know, them are some easy things to do as
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a couple, just because there are a lot of people
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that don't really do date nights. But I'm telling you
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right now, guys, it is great to go on a
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date night and just leave everything behind and just worry
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about eating the food that you're gonna eat, or maybe
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you're going golfing or something like that. Just let all
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that stress behind you and enjoy the company you're with
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and have fun about it. We like to set rules
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for our date nights. Some of the rules that we
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kind of set are no talking about business while we're
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out on dates. It's just about the two of us.
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And just that, no being on the phone while on dates,
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unless obviously our kids call them will answer it, because
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they usually don't call unless there's something bad happens or
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something and that has only happened maybe one time since
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we've been together. Enjoy each other, keep your attention on
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each other, and also keep the spark going in the
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bedroom because that is your spouse. You need to keep
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it alive regardless. And if you're not keeping the spark
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in the bedroom alive, you know what they say, they
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ain't gonna stay. So I want you guys to know
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that I appreciate you all being here with me on
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this episode of We Are the Hansons. We hope you
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are inspired to carve out some time for your own
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date nights no matter how busy life gets. Remember, taking
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care of your relationship isn't just good for you, it's
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a gift to your entire family. So whether it's a
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quiet night at home or an adventure out on the town,
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make that time count. Guys, make it count. Don't forget
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to share your favorite date night ideas with us. We'd
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love to hear them. Until next time, take care and