WEBVTT
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Welcome to We are the Hansens where we talk about
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family life, large family.
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We have thirteen kids.
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We've been together twenty two years. That makes me an
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expert when it comes to raising kids thirty years old
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to seven years old. And these are some tips and
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tricks that we like to tell people to make your
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adventure as awesome as it can be in your life.
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Now, today, I want to talk about daddy daughter.
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Dates because I don't think people realize how powerful it is.
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Daddy daughter dates the way to strengthen the bond between
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fathers and the daughters. Their contention, moments of one on
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one time and memory creation like no other. This is
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the stories of me doing it and why I think
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it's so important for.
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You to do it.
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People say, yeah, that's kind of weird. Well, it's only
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weird if you're a weird person. You got to understand
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the purity of daddy daughter dates. It's nothing like dating
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a girlfriend or a wife. People should know better than that.
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But I see a lot of people talk about that.
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I see people.
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Bring up the fact that a lot of daughters don't
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have daddies and it's unfair to them. And what I
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think about that is it's heartbreaking. Like you go to
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these daddy daughter dances and you'll see a lot of
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girls there without their father a on whether he's working,
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whether they don't have one. But I still think that
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it's important to set an example as a father of
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what a father should be.
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Even if it's not your kid, at least what you
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think a good father is.
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Know that can be subjective to some people, but I
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think over all we have an idea of what is
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healthy for young girls as far as a father, what
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creates and molds them into the awesome, independent, fierce loving
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women when they get.
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Older, And daddy daughter dates are a key to that.
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Like I said, it strengthens your bond because it's one
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on one time or one on two times.
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Whatever you have when you're bringing your daughters with and
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it makes them feel important. It doesn't.
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You know. There are benefits for the father here, there
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are benefits for the daughter here, and I think benefits
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for society as a whole. But we're not too worried
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about society. It's just kind of one of those good
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effects that roll off from doing the right thing. Now.
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I would say some of the benefits for the daughters
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are as follows. I think that there is nothing in
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this world that can boost a young lady's self esteem
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more than when her father prioritizes his time with her.
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I mean, kids see it, Kids see how busy we are,
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and for their dad to say, you know what tonight's
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about you. You are my priority tonight, not like you're not.
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The kids aren't your priority all the time. But you
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know what I'm saying, It sends a message to her
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without saying it, that she is prioritized, she is valued,
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she is loved.
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You know.
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This helps build their confidence, It gives and this is
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so important. It gives a young lady a positive self image.
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It's so important, especially you know with all social media,
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all the studies that are coming out about how hard
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it is and how damaging it is in this social
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world for their self image. And something as simple as
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a dad saying, come on, we're gonna go have a
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date to daddy daughter date, go to eat, go to
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do something. It makes her feel wonderful to get that time,
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to feel that she's a priority. You know. I think
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it sets a standard for them, and not only how
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you treat their mother. I think it's so important for
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husbands to realize that your daughter is going to pick
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somebody just like you. So if you want your daughter
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to be in a loving, healthy, positive, passionate, fun.
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Relationship, you better be that way with their mother.
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You know, a father's behavior during these dates should include
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things like kindness, respect, attentiveness.
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Okay, don't be a.
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Dad like some of these boys today that's sitting there
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on your phone while you're on a date. It should
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be talking to her. It should be learning about her.
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You should be kind, you should have respect, and.
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You should be very attentive to her. It teaches her
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how she deserves to be.
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Treated in future friendships and romantic relationships.
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Don't you want.
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Your daughter to have the life that you only dream
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that she could have, Well a good start to that.
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Remember their own person. They're going to pick those people.
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So by example, the best thing you can do take
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her out on that daddy daughter date, show her what kindness,
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respect means, to make her a priority, show her what
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that means, because that is sorely lacking today with young
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girls that really don't know how they should be treated.
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I think it also gives our daughter's emotional security, you know,
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spending quality time. I'm not just time because finding time
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is hard enough, but spending quality time with your daughter
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helps her feel safe. It's got to make her feel loved.
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And here's the thing she needs to feel understood from somebody,
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you know. I think that's one of the things with
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young girls and teenage girls.
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Nobody understands me.
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How many times have you heard that, Well, the father's
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there literally spending his time making an effort to try
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to understand.
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I think in doing that, you're.
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Fostering emotional resilience within her, because all of these emotions
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become something. It's the communication that you have with them.
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You know.
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It's a safe space for them to open up to
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you about things that you wouldn't even think they would
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open to you, up to you about, you know, teaching them,
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engaging in meaningful conversations about them. Like, here's the thing,
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I guarantee you a lot of the things they say
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to you, you don't really care.
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Besides, it's your daughter.
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Like when we go out and we would have my
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daughter Morgan, for example, we would go on a daddy
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daughter date and I would listen to things and I
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would intently listen about the cheer team. I would listen
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to things about what boy liked her about what boy did,
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something that made her mad. You know how her homework
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was going, what she liked to do, what she didn't
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like to do, what she wanted to do when she
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got older. All of these things, the dreams, the fantasies,
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these these things come.
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To light when you spend time, one on one time.
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With your daughter and you express an interest in her remembered.
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You're prioritizing her during these daydaddy daughter dates and it
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makes them feel comfortable, which they should feel comfortable with
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their father. They should have a communicable relationship with their
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father where communication is going back and forth and you
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can know everything that she's afraid of, everything that she
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aspires to, everything about her that makes her her you
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can learn on daddy daughter dates. You come up with
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some of the most meaningful conversations that you ever have.
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You see their eyes light up in ways that you
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haven't ever before.
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I went to a daddy.
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Daughter date with all three of my daughters, Madison, Torn
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and Anlin, and there was I don't know, probably half
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the girls had their dads there, and the girls were
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just as nervous about dancing in front of people as
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anybody else was. But when the dad walks out there,
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and guess what, he's risking social rejection from the other
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dads there and everything else. But he goes out there
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and he prioritizes his daughters and he starts dancing with them.
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And they go off and start dancing, goofy and having fun,
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and their eyes light up because they're having a blast.
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And guess what, the outside world doesn't matter anymore because
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they're spending time with dad, and Dad doesn't care what
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other people think. Dad is out there dancing, even.
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If he's a terrible dancer.
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Like me, I'm a terrible dancer, but I'm willing to
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go make a fool out of myself.
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I don't care as long.
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As it creates a memory and it makes my daughters happy.
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And that's the thing.
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The memories that you get from daddy daughter dates, they're
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going to remember long after we're dead and gone. It's
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special moments. It's their cherished memories. And guess what that
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gives them a positive view. It reinforces everything that you're
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trying to teach your daughter about future relationships, about her husband,
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about how they treat their children. It reinforces everything.
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Just from a simple.
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Daddy daughter date where you make them the priority. You talk,
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you learn how to communicate, You teach them things by example,
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not by just browbeating them with the same talking points.
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You're doing something that they're going to remember forever. And
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as far as fathers go, there's nothing better than to
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see that flicker in your daughter's eye when you're out
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dancing with her, when she throws caution into the wind
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and she doesn't care anymore.
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She gets to be herself, she gets to be happy.
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It does. It deepens your bond.
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We get to gain a deeper understanding of their personalities,
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their dreams, you know, challenge is that they have in
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their life, strengthening you know, this father daughter connection that's
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so important.
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Remember after doing this my five year old at the time.
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Now she could be dramatic, don't get me wrong, but
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she would come up to me and say things to
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me after, you know, going out and having these these
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one on one times, and she'd be like, Dad, you
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need to listen. There's bad things happening to me. And
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I would ask her, well, what is it. Well, this
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kid is calling me this name or this and we'd
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get to the bottom of it. But I don't know
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if we didn't have these one on one times in
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this communication. If we would actually have these moments, if
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would she just go to mom usually or is she
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going to come to dad as well? I think that
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that type of thing strengthens when you actually find out
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who they are the one on one time. Because I'll
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tell you this. You know, some people say that there's
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a parenting style. I actually want to do a show
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on that, because there's four main parenting styles. Well, folks,
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I better get really good at all of them because
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every child is different. The parent, if they're a great parent,
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shouldn't be dictated by the way they think their parenting
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style fits in. I think that your parenting style changes
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and evolves when you know who your child is, when
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you know their personality, what do they respond to It's
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so simple when you start realizing and seeing them from
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a personal connection, and anything that you can do is
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going to deepen your bond with your kids. Like knowing
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their dreams is so important to me, strengthening the connection
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that we have that my daughters can come to me
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for anything. Now I might not like what they have
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to say, but they can come to me in confidence
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knowing that anything I say back to them is out of.
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Place of love and concern.
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I think as guys, as dads, I think that it
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improves listening skills, and I think this could even be
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for mother and daughter.
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Listening skills. How do you listen to your kid?
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Have you ever noticed that when you're talking to your
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teenage kids, especially, you say one wrong thing and they
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just shut down. You can see this emotional curtain come
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right over their eyes and conversation's over. I think that
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it makes you more intelligent when it comes to your
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listening skills, and it allows you to navigate any challenges
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that they're facing easier because of times like this. I
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think that also as a father, I think, yes, it's
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a feather in your cap, but I think it's so
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much more than that. I think that building a strong
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role model image is just part of who you are,
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it's part of how you live. But I think that
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father's model positive behaviors. Okay, and there's some that are
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good and some that are bad, but the positive ones,
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these strengthen and reinforce those things. It helps you become
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not just a parent, but it helps you become a
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trusted figure in your daughter's life. Okay, now, my daughters
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know when they come to me, they're not going to
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always get the answer that they want. But they do
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know that they can trust me, and they know that
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I love them and I would never steer them wrong.
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It happens all the time. One daughter's in college right now.
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She comes and asks for advice all the time.
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I don't sugarcoat things.
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I tell her exactly the way that it's going to be.
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But we have developed this mutual respect for each other.
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She's a grown woman.