Oct. 29, 2025
Raising Leaders, Not Followers
In this inspiring episode of We Are the Hansons, Myia Hanson opens up about what it truly means to raise children who think for themselves, stand for what’s right, and lead with confidence and compassion. From the kitchen table to real-world moments, the Hanson family shares powerful lessons on building character, resilience, and responsibility.
It’s not about raising kids who simply “fit in” — it’s about raising kids who lift others up, who question, create, and lead with heart. Join Myia as she shares stories, strategies, and family values that shape future leaders, not followers.
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You ever have one of those mornings where you're pouring
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cereal for one kid, finding a missing shoe for another,
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and answering deep life questions before your first step of coffee. Yeah,
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that's the Hansen House. This morning, one of our boys asked, Mom,
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why do some people always follow everyone else? I laughed,
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took a deep breath, and said, because not everyone knows
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how to lead yet. And that's when it hit me.
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Raising leaders isn't about being bossy or loud. It's about
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raising kids who know who they are and aren't afraid
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to walk their own path. Hey everyone, welcome back to
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We are the Hansons. I'm your host, Maya Hanson. If
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you've been here before, you know we talk about real
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family life, the love, the laughter, and yes, the chaos
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that comes with raising thirteen kids and grandkids who keep
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us on our toes. Today's episode is called raising Leaders,
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not followers, because leadership doesn't start in a boardroom. It
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starts right around your kitchen table. Every parent knows the
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copycat phrase. You say one thing once and suddenly it
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echoes all over the house for a week straight. One
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day I heard our eight year old say to her brother,
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be a leader. Not a follower, and I thought, wow,
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she's listening. Then she added, because leaders get the front seat.
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That's right. There is leadership and training the hilarious kind.
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But here's what I've realized. Kids don't just copy our words,
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they copy our energy. They watch how we handle stress,
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how we talk to people online, at the grocery store,
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and how we deal with disappointment. They're studying leadership every
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single day, and where there examples. When we stay home
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during chaos, they learn emotional leadership. When we apologize first,
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they learn humanity. When we say let's figure it out
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instead of forget it, they learn persistence. I remember one
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afternoon we were late getting somewhere. Everyone was stressed, and
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I snapped at one of the kids over something small.
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The whole car went silent. My daughter looked at me
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and said, Mom, are you okay? And right there in
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that moment, I had a choice. I could defend myself,
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brush it off, keep driving, or I could model leadership.
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So I pulled over. I turned around and said, I'm
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sorry I shouldn't have spoken to you like that. I
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was stressed, but that's not an excuse. Will you forgive me?
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She nodded and said it's okay, mom. We all have
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hard days. That's when I realized the copycat phrase isn't
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just about mimicking words, it's about mirroring character. The copycat
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phrase is actually a mirror. It's our chance to see
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what kind of leadership we're modeling before the world teaches
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them something else. And if we want to raise leaders
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we have to be willing to lead vulnerably. At dinner
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one night, I asked if everyone in your class cheated
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on a test, would you Our oldest son said I
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probably wouldn't cheat, but I wouldn't say anything either, And
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then the youngest looked at me and said, I'd make
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a whole new test that nobody could cheat on. I
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nearly dropped my fork. That's when I thought, that's leadership,
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seeing a problem and creating a new right way around it.
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Real leadership means courage, the courage to stand alone, to
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speak differently, to think differently, And in our house, that
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starts with curiosity. We don't say don't question it, We say,
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tell me why you think that. I love hearing their answers,
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even when they're wild, because every time they explain what
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they believe, they build confidence in their voice. One of
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our kids came home upset because the teacher told him
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he was asking too many questions in class. He said, Mom,
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maybe I should just be quiet like everyone else. And
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I sat down with him and said the world doesn't
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need more quiet, it needs more curious people who aren't
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afraid to ask why. I told him you can disagree respectfully,
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you can think creatively, and you can lead bravely, but
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never follow blindly. That night, we made a list together
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all the questions he wanted to ask, all the things
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he wandered about. And I realized, when we shut down curiosity,
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we shut down leadership. When you teach your kids that
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it's okay to question things, you're not raising rebels, you're
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raising thinkers, and thinkers changed the world. Failure the word
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alone can make any parent cringe. Right, But here's the thing.
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Failure training ground for leadership. I remember when one of
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our teens started his first small business, washing cars and
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detailing just around the neighborhood. He was so excited he
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made a list, printed flyers, lined up clients. Then he
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ran out of supplie halfway through his first week, missed
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a few appointments, and came home defeated. He sat on
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the porch, tears in his eyes, and said, I'm just
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not cut out for this. And my first instinct was
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to fix it, to grab the keys, run to the store,
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buy everything he needed, and make it all okay. But
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that wouldn't have taught him anything. So I sat down
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beside him and said, okay, let's talk about what happened.
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What did you learn. He wiped his face and said,
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I should have made a list of everything before I started,
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and I should have stuck to my schedule. That was
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the day I saw something shift. He wasn't just learning
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about business, he was learning about accountability. Leadership isn't about
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getting it right every time. It's about learning fast, standing
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back up, and trying again even when it's embarrassing. I
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tell my kids all the time, you can't protect yourself
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from failure and still expect to grow. Sometimes the best
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things you can do as a parent is sit quietly
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on that porch and let your kid feel the lesson,
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because when we rescue them from every hard moment, we
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rob them from resilience, and resilience is the backbone to leadership.
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Let's talk about servant leadership, because that's a big one
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in our house. It's the idea that real leaders serve.
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They don't lead by demanding or showing off. They lead
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by showing up. If one of the kids sees me
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cleaning up after dinner, I'll hear a small voice say, Mom,
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I'll help. And I always tell them that's leadership, because
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leadership don't wait to be told, they notice what needs doing.
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I'll never forget this moment with one of our daughters.
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Her little sister couldn't tie her shoes and I asked
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her to help. She sighed hard. Why do I always
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have to help, she said. I smiled and said, because
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you're a leader. And leaders don't do it because it's easy.
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They do it because it matters. Her face changed. That
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little light bulb moment when a child realizes their actions
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set the tone for others. That's leadership awakening. Servant leadership
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isn't glamorous. It's not about recognition or applause. It's about
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doing the quiet kind things that nobody sees. One Sunday,
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we were heading out the door to church and I
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noticed one of our boys had gone back inside. I
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called out, hey, we're going to be late, and he
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yelled back, I know, mom, just one second he came
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out holding his little sister's favorite stuffed animal. She forgot
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mister bear. She gets sad without him. That's servant leadership, noticing, caring,
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acting without even being asked. I tell our kids, you
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don't have to be the loudest voice in the room
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to be a leader. You just have to be the
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kindest one. Leaders don't need applause, they just need awareness.
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One thing I've learned over the years, leaders are made
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in the small decisions, not the big, dramatic ones, the
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every day mundoon seemingly insignificant choices. So we practice decision
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making constantly in our house. I'll ask things like, you
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have thirty minutes before bet, how do you want to
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spend it? Or we have two boxes of cookies and
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three of you, how should we split them fairly? You'd
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be surprised how heated those cookie negotiations can be. But
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here's the thing. Every time they make a choice and
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live with the outcome, they're learning leadership. Sometimes they choose
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your own They pick the argument over compromise, they pick
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screen time over sleep and regret it the next morning.
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They pick the easier path and miss the adventure. And
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I let them because if I make every decision for them.
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They'll never learn how to make decisions without me. One
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of our daughters once asked me, Mom, how do you
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always know the right answer? And I laughed and said
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I don't. I just know how to think through the
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options and pick the best one I can see, and
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if I'm wrong, I adjust. That's what I want them
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to learn, not perfection, but adaptability, because leaders aren't people
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who never mess up. They're people who know how to
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course correct with grace. Every night, before bed, we talk
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about what went right and what we learned. Sometimes it's
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something small I helped a friend at school. Other Times
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it's I lost my temper but I said sorry. That's
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leadership too. We don't need perfect kids. We need self
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aware kids, kids who know when they messed up and
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are brave enough to admit it. That's how you build
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culture of leadership, one reflection at a time. Our home
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is our training ground. When we say thank you, I'm sorry,
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and I love you freely, we show that humanity and
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strength can live in the same space. We talk about decisions,
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we talk about emotions. We talk about why following the
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crowd feels easier, but why leading yourself feels better Because
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here's what I've learned. Leaders start as learners always, and
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every child, no matter how shy, stubborn or strong willed,
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has leadership potential when they're loved consistently and trusted deeply.
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So we give them space to lead. We let them
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plan family movie night. We let them teach us something
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they're passionate about. We let them make mistakes in safe
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spaces where love is constant and correction is gentle. Because
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if they can't practice leadership at home, where can they.
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I want them to know. Leadership isn't reserved, confident, or extroverted.
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It's for the quiet kid who stands up for someone
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being bullied. It's for the creative kid who invents a
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new way to solve an old problem. It's for the
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sensitive kid who notices when someone's hurting and asks if
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they're okay. Leadership is for all of them, and it
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starts when we believe in them, even before they believe
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in themselves. So here's the thing. We can't control who
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our kids follow out there in the world, but we
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can show them how to lead with kindness, curiosity, and courage,
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because someday they'll be the one setting the tone for
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their own families, their workspaces, and their friendships, and how
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we lead them now will echo for generations. I'm Maya
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Hanson and this is we are the Hansons. Thank you
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for spending time with me today and for doing the hard,
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beautiful work of raising leaders, not followers. If this episode
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spoke to you, share it with another parent who's walking
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this journey too. Go on to our YouTube channel and
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liken subscribe, Send us a message on our Facebook, or
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send us an email. We are the Hansons Show at
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gmail dot com and let us know what does leadership
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look like in your home, because together we can change
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the world, one little lead at a time. Thanks for
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tuning in and we will see you next time.
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67
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68
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69
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70
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71
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72
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80
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81
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82
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83
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84
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85
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86
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87
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88
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89
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90
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91
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92
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93
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94
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95
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96
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97
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98
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99
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100
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101
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102
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103
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104
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105
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106
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107
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108
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109
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110
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111
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112
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113
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114
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115
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116
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118
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119
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120
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121
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122
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123
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124
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125
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126
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127
00:09:56.000 --> 00:09:59.200
128
00:09:59.279 --> 00:10:04.639
129
00:10:04.799 --> 00:10:14.039
130
00:10:14.080 --> 00:10:18.840
131
00:10:18.919 --> 00:10:21.480
132
00:10:21.480 --> 00:10:25.559
133
00:10:25.679 --> 00:10:30.279
134
00:10:30.360 --> 00:10:34.879
135
00:10:34.960 --> 00:10:38.799
136
00:10:38.960 --> 00:10:44.600
137
00:10:44.600 --> 00:10:49.360
138
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139
00:10:53.879 --> 00:10:57.840
140
00:10:57.879 --> 00:11:01.440
141
00:11:02.000 --> 00:11:06.000
142
00:11:06.000 --> 00:11:09.000
143
00:11:09.080 --> 00:11:12.559
144
00:11:13.159 --> 00:11:15.879
145
00:11:15.919 --> 00:11:19.320
146
00:11:19.399 --> 00:11:23.240
147
00:11:23.279 --> 00:11:29.080
148
00:11:29.519 --> 00:11:32.840
149
00:11:33.399 --> 00:11:39.120
150
00:11:39.200 --> 00:11:45.120
151
00:11:45.120 --> 00:11:49.720
152
00:11:49.799 --> 00:11:53.840
153
00:11:53.960 --> 00:11:58.240
154
00:11:58.279 --> 00:12:04.039
155
00:12:04.080 --> 00:12:07.240
156
00:12:07.360 --> 00:12:13.159
157
00:12:14.080 --> 00:12:18.039
158
00:12:18.279 --> 00:12:22.519
159
00:12:22.600 --> 00:12:28.240
160
00:12:28.919 --> 00:12:32.840
161
00:12:32.919 --> 00:12:40.240
162
00:12:40.279 --> 00:12:46.200
163
00:12:46.360 --> 00:12:51.320
164
00:12:52.039 --> 00:12:58.120
165
00:12:59.320 --> 00:13:02.039
166
00:13:02.120 --> 00:13:06.320
167
00:13:06.679 --> 00:13:10.679
168
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169
00:13:16.720 --> 00:13:20.639
170
00:13:21.320 --> 00:13:25.759
171
00:13:26.200 --> 00:13:29.720
172
00:13:30.080 --> 00:13:33.840
173
00:13:33.960 --> 00:13:37.519
174
00:13:37.600 --> 00:13:41.720
175
00:13:41.759 --> 00:13:46.320
176
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177
00:13:50.000 --> 00:13:54.480
178
00:13:54.480 --> 00:13:57.240
179
00:13:57.360 --> 00:14:02.279
180
00:14:03.000 --> 00:14:07.440
181
00:14:07.519 --> 00:14:14.279
182
00:14:14.320 --> 00:14:20.360
183
00:14:20.440 --> 00:14:24.159
184
00:14:24.240 --> 00:14:27.799
185
00:14:27.919 --> 00:14:33.399
186
00:14:33.440 --> 00:14:36.840
187
00:14:36.960 --> 00:14:41.440
188
00:14:41.639 --> 00:14:46.000
189
00:14:46.039 --> 00:14:50.000
190
00:14:50.039 --> 00:14:53.960
191
00:14:54.159 --> 00:14:58.279
192
00:14:58.320 --> 00:15:02.799
193
00:15:02.840 --> 00:15:05.840
