April 8, 2025

"Raising Kind Kids: How We Teach Compassion at Home"

"Raising Kind Kids: How We Teach Compassion at Home"

In this heart-centered episode of We Are the Hansons, we open up about one of the most important lessons we teach our kids: kindness and compassion. In a world that can often feel loud, chaotic, and divided, we believe that raising children who lead with empathy can change everything—starting at home. We share the real-life ways we encourage kindness in our home, from everyday conversations to how we handle conflicts, set examples, and create a culture of respect and understanding. Whether it’s sibling dynamics, helping others, or just learning to say “I’m sorry,” this episode is packed with practical insights and heartfelt stories from our family to yours. If you’re a parent trying to raise good humans, this one’s for you.

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Hey, everyone, welcome back to We Are the Hands Ends.

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I am so glad you're here with me today, Whether

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you're folding laundry, driving to work, hiding in the pantry

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for five minutes of peace, or just soaking in some inspiration.

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Thank you for spending this time with me. Today's episode

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is one that's close to my heart, and it's something

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we're constantly working on in our home, teaching our kids'

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kindness and compassion. Now, when you have a big family

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like ours, there are a lot of personalities under one roof.

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There are days that feel like a beautiful dance of

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love and teamwork, and other days where it feels like

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wrestling matches for the last granola bar. But through it all,

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what we try to build into a very bones of

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our home is a spirit of kindness, empathy, and looking

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out for one another. Let me take you back a bit.

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When I first became a mom, I was young, and

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I remember thinking, I want my kids to be good

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humans for more than I want them to be anything else. Sure,

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I want them to be smart, successful, confident, But above

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all that, I want them to be kind. I want

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them to see someone hurting and offer a hand. I

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want them to think beyond themselves. I want them to

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be the kid who invites the new student to sit

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with them at lunch, the teen who stands up when

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someone's being bullied, and the adult who leads with heart.

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I think I've already accomplished that because one my daughter, Morgan,

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she was in a group in school called Stanford the Silent.

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That was a group that helps kids that are getting bullied.

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Anybody that's getting bullied can go to that person or

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one of the members of the group and ask them

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for help, and they will help. But that doesn't happen.

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None of this happens by accident. Your kids are taught

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kindness and compassion. Let me walk you through how we

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do that in our home, with some of the real stories,

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messy moments, and lots of trial and error. Modeling starts

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with us as parents. Kids are little mirrors, and in

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our home with thirteen little merors who it's houmb how

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fast they pick up what we say and do. If

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we want them to be kind, we have to show

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them kindness not just to them, but to each other,

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to the cashier, to the neighbor whose dog barks too much.

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Even when we're frustrated, especially when we're frustrated, I should say.

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I remember one time at the grocery store. One of

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the kids asked, why did you let that lady go

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in front of us when she had a whole cart

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and we just had milk? And I told them because

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she looked tired and maybe she's having a hard day.

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That moment stuck. Now I've caught our kids doing little

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acts like that without even telling them to. Correcting behavior

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with heart is another thing. Don't get me wrong. Our

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kids fight, they tease, they push each other's buttons like

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it's a sport sometimes, but when it crosses a line

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into unkindness, we don't just say sorry. We ask questions

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like how do you think that made your sister feel?

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Or what would you want someone to do if that

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happened to you, or how can you make this right?

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We want them to step into someone else's shoes. That's

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the heart of compassion, and sometimes that leads to the

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most honest, raw conversations, sometimes tears, and sometimes real apologies.

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Not just words, but a hug, a gesture, a change

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in behavior. I have seen this so much with my kids.

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My kids kids used to tease each other about being chunky,

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having big teeth. When I hear my kids tease one

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of their siblings about their teeth or being chunky or

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having a big head, I'm that parent that will say,

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we don't say that. That is not acceptable. That will

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not happen again. You apologize. And I'm also that parent

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that looks at my kids and said, if you say

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something harsh like that and something bad happens to that

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sister or brother after you say that, you're going to

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regret that for the rest of your life saying hurtful stuff.

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You don't ever want to say hurtful stuff to your siblings.

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My kids now see it. The little one's still kind

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to do it, but it's not as bad, but it's

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things that come out of their mouths. I also tell

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if you can't say nothing nice to somebody, don't say

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nothing at all, And I've caught my younger ones saying

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that to their siblings or friends. In a big family,

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it's easy for the loudest or most dramatic moments to

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get all the attention, but we make a point to

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catch them being kind and call it out. I saw

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the way you helped your brother with the homework. That

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was awesome. That is one thing I say a lot.

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I also say you were so patient with your sister today,

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Thank you. Here's another thing I say a lot is

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that was really mature of you to walk away from

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an argument that shows real strength. Kindness isn't always loud,

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so we make it loud by celebrating it. We also

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believe that compassion grows when kids get to step outside

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their bubble. We try to involve them in acts of service,

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whether that's helping a neighbor, donating their toys or even

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their outgrown clothes, or making cards for someone in the hospital.

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One time, we ended up giving a homeless woman some

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blankets because she came knocking on our door asking for food.

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Money she did say she would work for it. She

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also asked for blankets because they had nothing and they

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were cold, so we did donate blankets. We donated a

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bunch of the kids's toys that they had outgrown and clothes.

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So now when my kids outgrow some thing or don't

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want toys, that is the first thing they say is

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can we donate these to somebody that doesn't have a lot,

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Or can I give a little girl my clothes that

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don't fit us. We also talk a lot about feelings.

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We normalize them when they're sad. We don't rush to

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fix it. We sit with them, We validate, We use

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words like that must be really hard. And when someone

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else's upset, we ask, what do you think they need

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from you right now? Over the weekend, my little Anna

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had hit a very sad point. In the weekend, she

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asked me if she could call her grandma Darlene. It

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is her great grandma, but we don't call them great grandma,

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we just say grandma. And I look to her and

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I told her we couldn't call her because she's in

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heaven and heaven does not have a phone. And she

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was really upset and started crying, and I explained to her,

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I'm sorry, if we could call her, I would be

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letting you call her every day. And I just explained

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to her why we couldn't call her. It did help

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a little bit. She decided that she wanted to call

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her other grandma, so I made the phone call and

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let her talk to her other grandma. And then on Sunday,

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the same thing happened and she was crying and sad.

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So she went through an emotional weekend and I just

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hugged her and told her I loved her, Her sisters

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told her they loved her and that it was okay.

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And even though there's not a phone in heaven, she

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could still talk to Grandma Darlene, you know, just speak

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out loud and talk to her that way. Granted, she

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wouldn't get a response back, but at least she'd be

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able to tell her what she needed to or what

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she wanted to. And she ended up calling her grandpa

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on one of her other grandparents because she wanted to

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talk to Grandma Darlene and that was the next best thing.

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So we made sure that she was able to call

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her grandpa the next day. We role play situations before

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they happened, like what could you say if you see

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someone eating alone? This has happened with my children, especially

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at school. Every time somebody was eating alone, my kids

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would always either go and sit down with that person

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or ask that person to sit with them for lunch.

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My kids are very kind hearted children, and no matter

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what anybody else thought of that child that was sitting alone,

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my kids were one to step up and sit with

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that child. Another thing is how can you handle it

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if someone's being mean to your friend. My kids have

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always stuck up for their friends and kids that didn't

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have a voice of their own, which makes me proud

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as a parent. I always tell my kids you never

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ever bully anybody because you don't know what it's like

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in their home or what they're going through or their

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daily life. We don't know that, so you never ever

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bully somebody. I always have told my kids, if someone

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is picking on you, you have a right to defend yourself.

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If they put their hands on you, you need to

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stop it right then. So when they see somebody getting bullied,

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my kids are the first one to speak up. Always

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been that way. Another one is what if your friends

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having a rough day? How can you check in? You

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stop them and ask them how they're doing, and if

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they're all right, you can call them, you can video

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chat them. There are many ways to check in on

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your friends if you think something's happening, and my kids

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do that. My kids always check in on their friends.

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It's not about perfect responses. It's about giving them tools,

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giving them language, and making kindness a reflex And when

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they come home with stories, good or bad, we talk

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through them. We don't always solve it, but we always

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make space for it. If that makes sense. Here's the thing.

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Kindness isn't something you mass and move on from. It's

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a practice. It's a daily choice. And yes there are

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days we all get it wrong. I lose my patience,

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the kids slash out, we say things we regret. But

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even in those moments, we circle back to compassion. We apologize,

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we reconnect, We remind each other of who we are

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and who we want to be, and over time it

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shapes them and it shapes us. So to every parent

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listening who's wondering if the constant reminders, the endless conversations,

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the use kind words and try again moments are making

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a difference, They really are. It's slow work, but it's

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holy work, if that makes sense. In our family, kindness

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isn't a rule, it's a culture. It's how we live,

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it's how we love. Thanks for being here with me today.

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I'd love to hear how you're teaching kindness and compassion

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in your home too. Send me a message on our

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Facebook we are the Hansens, or drop me an email

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at We are the Hansen's Show at gmail dot com

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and please go subscribe to our We are the Hansen's

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YouTube channel. And if no one's told you today. You're

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doing a great job. Keep going, keep leading with love

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until next time. This is we are the Hansens. Take

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care of yourselves and each other.