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Hey, friends, welcome back to We Are the Hands Ends,
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where we open the doors to our home and share
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the real, raw and beautiful chaos of family life. I'm
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so glad you're here with me today because this episode
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is something that's close to my heart and something I
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think a lot of families, especially moms and wives, will
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connect with. Today. I want to talk about how a
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wife helps her husband with confidence and drive in a family, because,
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let me tell you, this is something we don't talk
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about enough. We talk about how men should be strong,
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driven leaders, but we don't always talk about the support
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they need behind the scenes, especially from the woman who
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sees them at their best and worst. The truth is,
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behind every strong man is often a woman who believes
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in him when he's doubting himself. And in a big,
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busy family like ours, that belief is powerful. It's essential.
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So grab your coffee or whatever you're sipping on, and
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let's get into it. Let's start with the pressure our
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husbands are under, whether they're the primary breadwinner or not,
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there's this expectation that they always have to have it
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all together. Society often tells men they're supposed to be
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the provider, the protector, the problem solver and the emotional rock.
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And in big families, especially ones with a lot of
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kids like ours, that pressure is multiplied. There are mouse
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to feed emotions, to manage, schedules, to juggle. It's constant
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and the truth. Sometimes our husbands feel like they're falling short.
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They wonder if they're doing enough, if they're good enough,
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if we see them the way we used to. And
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when that confidence starts to slip, so does their drive
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because confidence and drive go hand in hand. When a
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man feels like he's falling apart at home, it's really
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hard for him to give one hundred percent anywhere else
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in the home, that's where we come in. You know.
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Giving emotional encouragement constantly reminds him of his strength and capabilities,
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especially when he's feeling the weight of responsibility. Respect and
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admiration shows admiration for his efforts and decisions, making him
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feel valued and respected. You know. Support and leadership backs
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him up in parenting and decision making, reinforcing his role
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as a leader with the family. Affirming words speaks life
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into him with affirmations like I believe in you, We're
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proud of you, and you've got this, creating a peaceful
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home helps maintain a loving and peaceful home environment that
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recharges him instead of dreams him being his safe place
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offers a non judgmental space where he can vent, dream
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and process thoughts without pressure. Celebrating his wins, acknowledges both
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big and small victories, building momentum in his self worth,
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encouraging his vision, supports his long term goals, dreams, and purpose,
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even when they come with risks or sacrifice. Reminding him
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of his impact, points out how his presence and efforts
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positively affect the kids and family as a whole. Taking
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initiative together. Works with him on family planning, financial stratuies,
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and home projects, showing we as women in the trenches
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with him. Physical affection, simple touches, hugs, and closelessness can
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reignite energy and confidence in ways words sometimes can't. Spiritual
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and emotional grounding praise with him or encourages spiritual grounding,
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helping him stay anchored during chaos, protecting his reputation, defending
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him in public or with family, always speaking positively about
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him around others, pushing when needed, challenges him in a
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loving way when he's slipping, Reminding him of who he
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is in what he's capable of. One of the most
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powerful things we can do as wives is speak life
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into our husband. And I'm not talking about flattery. I
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mean truth, encouragement, and affirmation. When my husband has a
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hard day, or he feels like he's not doing enough
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for the kids, or work has been heavy, I remind
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him of what I see. I tell him you're a
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good father, You're doing better than you think. I'm proud
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of you. I see how hard you're trying. Those are
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some of the things I tell him. And it matters
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because even the strongest men need someone to remind them
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of who they are. Your words can be the mirror
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he looks into to remember his value in a world
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that constantly critiques and competes. Voice can be his camb
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We have the power to remind them that their worth
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isn't just what they do, but in who they are
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to us and to our children. I try and give
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encouragement in several different ways. I tease my husband a
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lot about he doesn't know how to cook. He does
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know how to cook a lot of times. He we
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always have him cooking on the grills outside and I
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do all the inside cooking. Yeah, sometimes he'll help do
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the inside cooking, but I'd rather do it myself at
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that point, because, for one, I feel like there's too
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many people in the kitchen at once and it's very
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hard to move around. I can't get to what I
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need to get to because there's somebody there. So I'd
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rather not have him in my kitchen when I'm cooking,
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And same goes for him outside when he's cooking on
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the grill. I need to stay out of his way
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and let him do the work. Yes, I'll help carry
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stuff out or bring stuff in off the girl, but
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that's his space. Talking about drive, because that's a tricky
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one in our family life. When you've got bills, babies,
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and burnout, it's easy for dreams to get buried. But
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part of helping your husband keep his drive alive is
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creating space for those dreams, even if it seems unrealistic
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right now. I have constantly tried to help, you know,
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build up my husband, my children. That is just being
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part of a big family. Any family should be building
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up each other, not dragging them down. And me and
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my husband work together all the time. We own a
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power washing company, we do podcasts, So giving him encouragement
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on you know, whatever we do for the day, for
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work or helping with the kids, or when he's fixing
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my car, it is stressful, but we work hand in hand.
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We see each other twenty four seven, and a lot
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of people question like, how do you guys work together
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and live together. We are a team. We know how
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to be the team that we are and we've built
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our businesses on that, you know, just working together, complimenting
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each other. You know, there's so much between the two
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of us that building somebody up, it helps. It gives
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them a boost of confidence. And a lot of times
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that confidence helps because not everybody hears words of encouragement
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or anything like that, so it goes a long way.
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We can work together because we know how each other think.
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So he a lot of times will come to me
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and ask my opinion, and I'll give it, and if
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he thinks different, he'll be like, oh, yeah, that's a
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good idea or vice versa. Anytime somebody is saying bad
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things about my husband or anything like that, I'm always
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there to back him up. I will never ever not
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stick up for him, especially when I know that whatever
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said is wrong. You know, we had a business guy
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that went on and posted some bad stuff about our company.
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He never knew us, and he was saying some bad stuff,
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and when my husband commented back to him, he apologized
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because he was another powerwashing guy, so he was a
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competitor of ours, and he was just trying to get
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the busard the job for himself and didn't want us
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to get it. So he was not just doing it
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to our business, he was doing it to other businesses
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that were in the same field. And he ended up
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sending my husband a message telling him he was sorry,
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went and deleted it and gave us a good review.
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Because we are very picky when it comes to our work,
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and especially me. There's a lot of different things that
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you can boost your spouse up. That physical affection is
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you know, hugging and you know just that I love
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you giving them a hug, you know, simple touches like
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patting them on the back. You know, that stuff really
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does help. You know, it builds their confidence in ways
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that our words as wives can't do. And creating that
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peaceful home. You know, it helps maintain our loving and
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peaceful environment. It helps recharge your husband. So all of
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these things that I'm talking to you about today, they
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do work. They work wonders. Sometimes I got to remind
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my husband of who he is and what he is
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capable of, because I know he's strong, I know he's smart,
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and I know that he thinks a lot, and I
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know he will get to where he needs to be.
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But just that, you know, pushing helps. So maybe your
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husband wants to start a side business, go back to school,
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change careers, or chase some idea he's been sitting on.
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You don't have to understand the how, but you can
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support the why. You can say, I believe you're capable.
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Let's figure it out together. Me and my husband have
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done that. We have done that a lot, as he
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does it for me as well. And sometimes supporting his
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drive means stepping up in areas that let him breathe.
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Maybe you juggle the bedtime routine so he can take
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the online class. Maybe you encourage him to take a
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night to think, read, or plan. It doesn't mean we
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lose ourselves. It means we're building something together. Drive thrives
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where belief lives live by that, because I do. Our
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home should be our husband's safe place where he doesn't
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have to have all the answers, where he can take
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off the armor and just be, not fix it, figure
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it out, just be. When he walks through the door
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and feels judged or like he's not enough, that chips
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away at his confidence. But when he walks and hears
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I'm so glad you're home, or the kids missed you today,
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or even a warm hug and a smile, it does
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something powerful. It reminds him that his presence matters. Being
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his safe place doesn't mean ignoring issues or not holding
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each other accountable. It just means being a soft landing
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when life is hard. It means giving him space to process,
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to feel, and to grow. Another huge piece is how
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we talk about our husbands in front of our children.
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When our kids see us roll our eyes, cut him
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down or dismiss his ideas, they learn disrespect. But when
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they see us honor him, support him, and cheer him on,
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they learn partnership. They learn that love isn't just romance,
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it's resilience. It's building up the person you choose day
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after day, even when you're having a hard time. Respect
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builds confidence. When our husbands feel respected, they rise and
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we get to be part of that. Now, let me
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be real for a second. This isn't about carrying the
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emotional weight of someone who is not trying. This isn't
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about excusing bad behavior or putting yourself last. A strong marriage,
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especially in a big demanding family, takes mutual support and
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when both partners are committed to uplifting each other, when
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both are invested in one another's growth, it's magic. But
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someone has to start. And many times when a wife
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leads with love, encouragement and belief, it sparks something powerful
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in our husbands. So if you're listening to this right
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now and wondering how to help your husband find his
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confidence and drive again, just know you don't need to
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fix everything. Just be his mirror, his cheerleader, his soft
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place to land, speak life, create space, build respect, and
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watch what happens. Your belief in him might be that
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thing that wakes up belief in himself. Thanks for spending
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time with me today. If this spoke to you, share
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it with someone who needs to hear it, and remember
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your words, your love, and your support. They matter more
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than you know. Get on over to our YouTube channel
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we are the Hansens and subscribe. You can also send
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me a message on our We are the Hanson's Facebook
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page or send us an email at we Arethehansen's Show
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at gmail dot com. We're in this together. I'll see
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you next time. We are the Hansens