Nov. 17, 2025
Keeping Romance Alive On A Budget
In this heartwarming episode of We Are the Hansons, Myia Hanson opens the door to real, everyday love—the kind that grows through late-night conversations, shared coffee cups, and creative date nights that don’t break the bank. With humor, honesty, and a whole lot of Hanson charm, Myia shows how couples can keep the spark alive even when money is tight.
From simple traditions to budget-friendly adventures, this episode dives into the practical ways love stays strong over the years. Whether you’re juggling kids, work, or just trying to make moments count, Myia reminds us that romance isn’t about price tags—it’s about presence, intention, and choosing each other again and again.
Perfect for couples, parents, and anyone who believes in building a love story that lasts, this episode is full of warmth, inspiration, and real-life connection.
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It was a Tuesday night, nothing special, just Tuesday. The
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kids were finally asleep, dishes still in the sink, bills
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on the counter, and my husband. He walked into the
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kitchen with two coffee mugs, a bag of stale marshmallows
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we'd forgotten about, and this look in his eyes. No
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fancy restaurant, no expensive wine, just coffee and conversation in
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twenty two years of choosing each other. That's what romance
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looks like in a reel marriage. Not grand gestures, not always.
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Sometimes it's just showing up with stale marshmallows. I'm Maya
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Hanson and this is we are the Hansens. Welcome to
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the show where we dive into the beautiful, messy, complicated
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reality of family life. Today's episode. It's personal, it's practical,
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And if you've ever felt like romance is a luxury
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you can't afford, this one's for you. We're talking about
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keeping that spark alive when money is tight, when life
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is full, when date nights feel impossible and grand gestures
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feel out of reach. Because here's what I've learned after
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two decades of marriage and thirteen kids, romance isn't about money.
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You spend. It's about the moments you create. Let's start
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with some real talk. There's this narrative we're all sold
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that romance requires money. Fancy dinners, expensive gifts, weekend getaways,
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diamond jewelry and listen, those things are lovely, but they're
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not what keeps love alive. I want to tell you
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about our first apartment. We were broke, and I mean
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broke broke. Our furniture was a mix of hand me
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downs and thrift store finds. Our dining room was a
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card table with two folding chairs. But we had this tradition.
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Every Friday night, we'd write each other a note, just
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a little slip of paper, something we loved that the
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other person did that week. Then we'd hide it somewhere
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in the apartment for the other to find. Sometimes I'd
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find mine tucked in my coffee mug in the morning,
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sometimes in my coat pocket. Once he hid it inside
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my favorite book right at the chapter I was reading.
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Those notes cost nothing, but they made me feel seen, loved, remembered,
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and there's actually science behind them. Doctor John Gottman, one
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of the leading researchers on relationships, has studied thousands of
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couples over decades, and you know what he found. It's
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not the grand gestures that predict lasting love. It's the small,
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consistent acts of attention and affection. He calls them turning
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toward moments. When your partner says something and you put
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down your phone to listen. That's a turning toward moment.
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When you remember their coffee order, when you touch their
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shoulder as you walk by, when you leave a note.
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Those moments, they're free and there everything. Another study from
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Journal of Consumer Research found that couples who prioritize shared
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experiences over material gifts report significantly higher relationship satisfaction because
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experiences are inherently better, but because they create memories, stories,
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inside jokes. A fancy watch might sit in a drawer,
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But remember the night you danced in the kitchen, Remember
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the sunset picnic, Remember the time you built a blanket
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for and talked until three in the morning. Those are
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moments you'll tell the grandkids about. All right, let's get practical.
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You want romance, you want connection. Let me give you
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some ideas that cost next to nothing, but create priceless memories.
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But here's the twist. Don't just throw on Netflix. Make
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it an event. Create tickets, hand draw them. If you
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want assigned seats, make a menu, pop some popcorn, dim
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the lights and pretend you're more special. We've done this
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with our kids, but Jeremy and I we do it
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alone sometimes too. After everyone's asleep, we'll watch something we've
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both been wanting to see, but we commit. No phones,
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no distractions, just us. Pick a recipe that's totally new.
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Maybe it's sushi, Maybe it's a homemade pasta. Maybe it's
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some wild dessert you saw online. The point isn't perfection,
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it's the process. Cooking together forces you to collaborate, laugh
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at mistakes, taste test. It's intimate. Plus you get to
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eat your creation together at the end, and if it
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turns out terrible, even better. Now you have a funny story.
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There's something magical about getting out of your regular environment,
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and if it's just at a local park or a
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trail nearby, bring a blanket, pack some sandwiches and just
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be watch the sunset. Talk or don't talk. Sometimes silence
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with someone you love is its own kind of conversation. Candles, music,
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a bubble back, or homemade face masks. You can make
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them with honey, oatmeal, whatever's in your pantry, take turns
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giving each other's shoulder roups. It's luxurious, it's intimate, and
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it costs maybe five dollars. This one's became a tradition
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for us. Get a jar, any jar, and some slips
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of paper. Then spend an evening going through old photos,
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reminiscing about your favorite moments together. Every moment you share,
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write it down and drop it in that jar. Months later,
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when you're having a tough day or feeling disconnected, pull
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out the jar, read them together. It's like revealing your
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love story, one moment at a time. And here's the
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thing about all these ideas, they're templates, not rules. Adapt them,
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make them yours. The creativity is part of the romance,
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because romance doesn't always look like candle at dinners in
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fancy restaurants. Sometimes it's holding hands during a TV show
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you both love. Sometimes it's a text in the middle
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of a busy day that just says thinking about you.
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Sometimes it's waking up early to make their coffee exactly
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how they like it. Small gestures, consistent attention. That's the foundation.
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Now let's talk about the hard part, because I'm not
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going to sit here and pretend that Keeping romance alive
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on a budget is always easy. It's not. Let's get complicated.
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Life gets complicated overwhelming. You've got kids who need attention,
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bills that need paying, jobs that drain you, households that
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need managing, and by the end of the day you're exhausted.
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The last thing you feel like doing is planning a
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romantic gesture, even a cheap one. Sometimes you just want
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to collapse on the couch and zone out. I've been
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there more times than I can count. There have been
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seasons where Jeremy and I we were like ships passing
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in the ninth him handling one crisis, me handling another.
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Communication reduced to logistics, Did you pay that bill? Can
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you pick up the kids? What's for dinner? Romance? It
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felt like a luxury we couldn't afford, not because of money,
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but because of energy. But here's what I've learned during
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those seasons. The effort counts more than the perfect plan.
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A ten minute coffee date at your kitchen table while
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the kid's nap is better than nothing. A voice memo
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you send during lunch breaks saying I appreciate you is
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better than silence. A hand squeeze as you pass each
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other in the hallway. These things matter, their deposits in
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your emotional bank account. Another obstacle, and this is a
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big one, is the stress about money itself. When you're
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worried about making ends meet, when you're looking at bills
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and feeling that not in your stomach, romance can feel impossible.
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But here's the paradox. That's exactly when you connection most.
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That's when you need to remember why you're in this together.
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Talk about the money stress. Don't let it be this
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silent thing between you, but also don't let it steal
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every moment of joy. Some of our most memorable dates
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happened during our brokest seasons, because constraints force creativity. When
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you can't just throw money at a problem, you have
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to actually think, innovate, try something different, Like the time
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we couldn't afford to go out, so we built a
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blanket for it in our living room, yes as adults,
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and we just talked about everything, our dreams, our fears,
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funny stories from when we first met. We talked until
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two in the morning. Cost zero dollars, memory priceless. The
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final obstacle I want to address is simply life phases.
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Maybe you have a newborn and you're both sleep deprived zombies.
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Maybe you're caring for aging parents. Maybe one of you
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is going through a health challenge. Maybe work is crushing
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one or both of you right now. Romance looks different
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in different seasons, and that's okay. Sometimes romance is your
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partner taking the babies so you can shower alone. Sometimes
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it's bringing them soup when they're sick. Sometimes it's just
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saying I see you trying when everything feels impossible. Grace,
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give each other grace, and remember that seasons change. The
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exhausting ones don't last forever. Before we recorded this episode,
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I asked our listeners to share their stories. How do
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you keep romance alive without breaking the bank? And the
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responses they were beautiful. I want to share a few
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with you. Sarah wrote in and told me about a
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tradition she and her husband started during their first year
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of marriage. Every month, they swap a single book. But
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here's the twist. As they read, they leave notes for
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each other in the margins, little observations, jokes, love notes,
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reactions to the story. By the end of the year,
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they have twelve books filled with their shared journey. A
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dialogue written between lines of other people's stories. Sarah said
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in Our Love Story Hidden inside our love Stories, I mean,
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come on. Marcus and his wife live in the city,
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not exactly Primes stargazing territory, but once a month, no
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matter what, they drive fifteen minutes to a nearby hill,
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bring a blanket and lie. They're looking up. Sometimes they
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can barely see stars through the light pollution. Sometimes it
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rains and they sit in their car instead when chill
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wiper's going. Just talking, Marcus said, the stars aren't really
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the point. The point is they show up every month,
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no matter what. It's their sacred time. There's something powerful
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about rituals. Isn't there about saying this matters so we
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protect it. This one made me tear up a little.
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Thomas is a single dad, widowed, young, and he's raising
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two daughters. Every Friday night, he makes brownies from scratch,
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nothing fancy, just a box mix and love. But he said,
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his daughters light up every single Friday when they smell
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those brownies baking. It becomes this anchor in their week,
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this promise that no matter how hard things get, Friday
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brings brownies and time together. He wrote, Romance isn't always
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between partners. Sometimes it's showing your kids that love looks
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like consistency, like showing up with brownies when life is hard,
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And I thought, yes exactly. Jennifer and her husband both
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have demanding jobs, different schedules. They barely see each other
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some week, so they started leaving sticky notes. One on
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the bathroom mirror, one on the coffee maker, one on
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the steering wheel. Silly notes, sweet notes, encouraging notes, You've
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got this today, love you more than coffee. Your butt
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looks great in those genes, Jennifer said. Some mornings, finding
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a note is the difference between a hard day and
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a bearable one. And it cost what fifty cents for
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a pack of sticky notes. What strikes me about all
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of these stories is the common thread thoughtfulness, presence. Intentionally,
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none of these people are spending money they don't have.
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They're spending attention, time, creativity, and their relationship. They're thriving.
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All right, We're coming to the end, and I want
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to leave you with something concrete, practical steps you can
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take starting today, even if it's just fifteen minutes a day.
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Protect it fiercely. No phones, no TV, just conversation, check
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in with each other. Ask better questions than how is
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your day? Try what made you laugh today? Or what's
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something you're looking forward to or what's weighing on you
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right now? A text that says proud of you, their
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favorite snack picked up on the way home, A BackRub
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without being asked, doing the chores they hate without making
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a big deal about it. These tiny acts of service
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and affection, they're the glue. Weekly date night, even if
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they're at home after the kids are asleep. Monthly adventures,
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even if it's just exploring a new neighborhood, morning coffee
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together before the chaos starts. Bedtime conversations where you share gratitude,
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find your rhythm, and honor it. Rituals become the backbone
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of connection. When anniversaries or birthdays come around, think beyond
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store bought gifts. A handwritten letter detailing everything you love
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about them. A playlist of songs that remind you of
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your relationship. A photo book you made yourself. A treasure
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hunt leading to small, meaningful surprises hidden around your house.
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A day where you recreate your first date on a budget.
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The thought behind it means more than the price tag. Ever,
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could don't just think nice things about your partner say
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them often specifically, not just I love you. They'll say
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that too, but I love how patient you were with
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our daughter today, or I appreciate that you always make
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sure the gas in my car is full, or thank
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you for being my safe place. Appreciation is free, and
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it's one of the most powerful relationship tools you have.
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Here's the bottom line, friends, romance isn't about money. It
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never has been. It's about showing someone consistency and creativity,
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that they matter, that you see them, that you choose them,
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and that that you can do on any budget. Thank
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you for spending time with me today. I hope you're
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walking away with fresh ideas, renewed hope, and maybe a
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reminder that the best things in life really are free.
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If this episode resonated with you, do me a favor,
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Share it with someone who needs to hear it. A friend,
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your partner, the couple that you know who's in a
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tough season. Sometimes we all need a reminder that love
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doesn't have to be expensive to be extraordinary. And hey,
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if you try any of these ideas, I want to
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hear about it. Find us on our social media Facebook
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on we are the Hansens and send us a message.
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Get on over to our YouTube channel and check us out. Subscribe.
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We're all in this together, figuring out how to love
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well in real life. Before I let you go, I'll
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leave you with this. Love isn't measured in dollars, in moments,
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in attention paid, in showing up when it's hard, in
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choosing each other even when romance feels impossible, especially then. I'mya, Hanson,
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this has been We are the Hansens until next time.
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Keep laughing, keep loving, and keep showing up for each
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other often
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