Nov. 17, 2025

Keeping Romance Alive On A Budget

Keeping Romance Alive On A Budget

In this heartwarming episode of We Are the Hansons, Myia Hanson opens the door to real, everyday love—the kind that grows through late-night conversations, shared coffee cups, and creative date nights that don’t break the bank. With humor, honesty, and a whole lot of Hanson charm, Myia shows how couples can keep the spark alive even when money is tight.

From simple traditions to budget-friendly adventures, this episode dives into the practical ways love stays strong over the years. Whether you’re juggling kids, work, or just trying to make moments count, Myia reminds us that romance isn’t about price tags—it’s about presence, intention, and choosing each other again and again.

Perfect for couples, parents, and anyone who believes in building a love story that lasts, this episode is full of warmth, inspiration, and real-life connection.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

WEBVTT

1
00:00:04.679 --> 00:00:11.679
It was a Tuesday night, nothing special, just Tuesday. The

2
00:00:11.800 --> 00:00:16.760
kids were finally asleep, dishes still in the sink, bills

3
00:00:16.800 --> 00:00:20.559
on the counter, and my husband. He walked into the

4
00:00:20.640 --> 00:00:25.280
kitchen with two coffee mugs, a bag of stale marshmallows

5
00:00:25.359 --> 00:00:29.960
we'd forgotten about, and this look in his eyes. No

6
00:00:30.079 --> 00:00:38.240
fancy restaurant, no expensive wine, just coffee and conversation in

7
00:00:38.320 --> 00:00:42.640
twenty two years of choosing each other. That's what romance

8
00:00:42.719 --> 00:00:48.920
looks like in a reel marriage. Not grand gestures, not always.

9
00:00:49.000 --> 00:00:55.520
Sometimes it's just showing up with stale marshmallows. I'm Maya

10
00:00:55.600 --> 00:00:59.520
Hanson and this is we are the Hansens. Welcome to

11
00:00:59.560 --> 00:01:03.520
the show where we dive into the beautiful, messy, complicated

12
00:01:03.560 --> 00:01:09.959
reality of family life. Today's episode. It's personal, it's practical,

13
00:01:10.760 --> 00:01:13.799
And if you've ever felt like romance is a luxury

14
00:01:13.879 --> 00:01:18.799
you can't afford, this one's for you. We're talking about

15
00:01:18.879 --> 00:01:23.439
keeping that spark alive when money is tight, when life

16
00:01:23.480 --> 00:01:28.159
is full, when date nights feel impossible and grand gestures

17
00:01:28.239 --> 00:01:33.480
feel out of reach. Because here's what I've learned after

18
00:01:33.599 --> 00:01:39.480
two decades of marriage and thirteen kids, romance isn't about money.

19
00:01:39.599 --> 00:01:44.680
You spend. It's about the moments you create. Let's start

20
00:01:44.719 --> 00:01:50.159
with some real talk. There's this narrative we're all sold

21
00:01:50.280 --> 00:01:56.560
that romance requires money. Fancy dinners, expensive gifts, weekend getaways,

22
00:01:56.959 --> 00:02:02.280
diamond jewelry and listen, those things are lovely, but they're

23
00:02:02.400 --> 00:02:05.920
not what keeps love alive. I want to tell you

24
00:02:05.959 --> 00:02:09.719
about our first apartment. We were broke, and I mean

25
00:02:09.840 --> 00:02:13.319
broke broke. Our furniture was a mix of hand me

26
00:02:13.400 --> 00:02:17.719
downs and thrift store finds. Our dining room was a

27
00:02:17.800 --> 00:02:22.240
card table with two folding chairs. But we had this tradition.

28
00:02:23.319 --> 00:02:27.280
Every Friday night, we'd write each other a note, just

29
00:02:27.360 --> 00:02:31.439
a little slip of paper, something we loved that the

30
00:02:31.479 --> 00:02:34.400
other person did that week. Then we'd hide it somewhere

31
00:02:34.439 --> 00:02:37.879
in the apartment for the other to find. Sometimes I'd

32
00:02:37.960 --> 00:02:40.599
find mine tucked in my coffee mug in the morning,

33
00:02:41.280 --> 00:02:45.560
sometimes in my coat pocket. Once he hid it inside

34
00:02:45.639 --> 00:02:48.840
my favorite book right at the chapter I was reading.

35
00:02:49.840 --> 00:02:56.919
Those notes cost nothing, but they made me feel seen, loved, remembered,

36
00:02:58.080 --> 00:03:03.000
and there's actually science behind them. Doctor John Gottman, one

37
00:03:03.000 --> 00:03:08.599
of the leading researchers on relationships, has studied thousands of

38
00:03:08.719 --> 00:03:13.280
couples over decades, and you know what he found. It's

39
00:03:13.319 --> 00:03:18.240
not the grand gestures that predict lasting love. It's the small,

40
00:03:18.759 --> 00:03:23.439
consistent acts of attention and affection. He calls them turning

41
00:03:23.520 --> 00:03:28.080
toward moments. When your partner says something and you put

42
00:03:28.080 --> 00:03:32.039
down your phone to listen. That's a turning toward moment.

43
00:03:32.680 --> 00:03:36.520
When you remember their coffee order, when you touch their

44
00:03:36.560 --> 00:03:40.879
shoulder as you walk by, when you leave a note.

45
00:03:40.919 --> 00:03:47.439
Those moments, they're free and there everything. Another study from

46
00:03:47.599 --> 00:03:52.560
Journal of Consumer Research found that couples who prioritize shared

47
00:03:52.639 --> 00:04:00.400
experiences over material gifts report significantly higher relationship satisfaction because

48
00:04:00.439 --> 00:04:07.960
experiences are inherently better, but because they create memories, stories,

49
00:04:08.879 --> 00:04:13.199
inside jokes. A fancy watch might sit in a drawer,

50
00:04:13.800 --> 00:04:17.839
But remember the night you danced in the kitchen, Remember

51
00:04:17.879 --> 00:04:22.199
the sunset picnic, Remember the time you built a blanket

52
00:04:22.240 --> 00:04:25.839
for and talked until three in the morning. Those are

53
00:04:26.000 --> 00:04:31.519
moments you'll tell the grandkids about. All right, let's get practical.

54
00:04:32.000 --> 00:04:36.399
You want romance, you want connection. Let me give you

55
00:04:36.439 --> 00:04:41.639
some ideas that cost next to nothing, but create priceless memories.

56
00:04:42.839 --> 00:04:47.480
But here's the twist. Don't just throw on Netflix. Make

57
00:04:47.519 --> 00:04:51.800
it an event. Create tickets, hand draw them. If you

58
00:04:51.879 --> 00:04:58.120
want assigned seats, make a menu, pop some popcorn, dim

59
00:04:58.160 --> 00:05:02.360
the lights and pretend you're more special. We've done this

60
00:05:02.439 --> 00:05:06.120
with our kids, but Jeremy and I we do it

61
00:05:06.160 --> 00:05:10.959
alone sometimes too. After everyone's asleep, we'll watch something we've

62
00:05:10.959 --> 00:05:15.199
both been wanting to see, but we commit. No phones,

63
00:05:16.040 --> 00:05:23.040
no distractions, just us. Pick a recipe that's totally new.

64
00:05:24.240 --> 00:05:28.639
Maybe it's sushi, Maybe it's a homemade pasta. Maybe it's

65
00:05:28.639 --> 00:05:33.240
some wild dessert you saw online. The point isn't perfection,

66
00:05:34.319 --> 00:05:40.040
it's the process. Cooking together forces you to collaborate, laugh

67
00:05:40.519 --> 00:05:46.279
at mistakes, taste test. It's intimate. Plus you get to

68
00:05:46.279 --> 00:05:49.800
eat your creation together at the end, and if it

69
00:05:49.839 --> 00:05:54.639
turns out terrible, even better. Now you have a funny story.

70
00:05:55.600 --> 00:05:59.040
There's something magical about getting out of your regular environment,

71
00:06:00.000 --> 00:06:02.800
and if it's just at a local park or a

72
00:06:02.800 --> 00:06:07.439
trail nearby, bring a blanket, pack some sandwiches and just

73
00:06:08.600 --> 00:06:15.639
be watch the sunset. Talk or don't talk. Sometimes silence

74
00:06:16.079 --> 00:06:24.000
with someone you love is its own kind of conversation. Candles, music,

75
00:06:24.800 --> 00:06:28.759
a bubble back, or homemade face masks. You can make

76
00:06:28.839 --> 00:06:34.199
them with honey, oatmeal, whatever's in your pantry, take turns

77
00:06:34.240 --> 00:06:39.800
giving each other's shoulder roups. It's luxurious, it's intimate, and

78
00:06:39.839 --> 00:06:44.279
it costs maybe five dollars. This one's became a tradition

79
00:06:44.439 --> 00:06:48.079
for us. Get a jar, any jar, and some slips

80
00:06:48.079 --> 00:06:52.879
of paper. Then spend an evening going through old photos,

81
00:06:53.079 --> 00:06:57.720
reminiscing about your favorite moments together. Every moment you share,

82
00:06:58.639 --> 00:07:02.040
write it down and drop it in that jar. Months later,

83
00:07:02.800 --> 00:07:06.680
when you're having a tough day or feeling disconnected, pull

84
00:07:06.680 --> 00:07:11.199
out the jar, read them together. It's like revealing your

85
00:07:11.279 --> 00:07:14.839
love story, one moment at a time. And here's the

86
00:07:14.920 --> 00:07:21.839
thing about all these ideas, they're templates, not rules. Adapt them,

87
00:07:22.399 --> 00:07:26.959
make them yours. The creativity is part of the romance,

88
00:07:28.000 --> 00:07:31.879
because romance doesn't always look like candle at dinners in

89
00:07:32.000 --> 00:07:36.800
fancy restaurants. Sometimes it's holding hands during a TV show

90
00:07:36.839 --> 00:07:40.519
you both love. Sometimes it's a text in the middle

91
00:07:40.519 --> 00:07:44.560
of a busy day that just says thinking about you.

92
00:07:45.439 --> 00:07:49.160
Sometimes it's waking up early to make their coffee exactly

93
00:07:49.199 --> 00:07:55.720
how they like it. Small gestures, consistent attention. That's the foundation.

94
00:07:56.720 --> 00:07:59.839
Now let's talk about the hard part, because I'm not

95
00:08:00.000 --> 00:08:02.839
going to sit here and pretend that Keeping romance alive

96
00:08:02.959 --> 00:08:09.000
on a budget is always easy. It's not. Let's get complicated.

97
00:08:09.560 --> 00:08:15.120
Life gets complicated overwhelming. You've got kids who need attention,

98
00:08:15.800 --> 00:08:20.519
bills that need paying, jobs that drain you, households that

99
00:08:20.600 --> 00:08:24.600
need managing, and by the end of the day you're exhausted.

100
00:08:25.560 --> 00:08:27.959
The last thing you feel like doing is planning a

101
00:08:28.040 --> 00:08:33.039
romantic gesture, even a cheap one. Sometimes you just want

102
00:08:33.080 --> 00:08:35.759
to collapse on the couch and zone out. I've been

103
00:08:35.799 --> 00:08:39.919
there more times than I can count. There have been

104
00:08:40.120 --> 00:08:45.399
seasons where Jeremy and I we were like ships passing

105
00:08:45.440 --> 00:08:49.519
in the ninth him handling one crisis, me handling another.

106
00:08:49.879 --> 00:08:55.240
Communication reduced to logistics, Did you pay that bill? Can

107
00:08:55.279 --> 00:09:00.159
you pick up the kids? What's for dinner? Romance? It

108
00:09:00.240 --> 00:09:04.159
felt like a luxury we couldn't afford, not because of money,

109
00:09:04.919 --> 00:09:08.440
but because of energy. But here's what I've learned during

110
00:09:08.440 --> 00:09:12.840
those seasons. The effort counts more than the perfect plan.

111
00:09:13.840 --> 00:09:17.559
A ten minute coffee date at your kitchen table while

112
00:09:17.600 --> 00:09:22.200
the kid's nap is better than nothing. A voice memo

113
00:09:22.399 --> 00:09:26.200
you send during lunch breaks saying I appreciate you is

114
00:09:26.279 --> 00:09:30.759
better than silence. A hand squeeze as you pass each

115
00:09:30.759 --> 00:09:36.080
other in the hallway. These things matter, their deposits in

116
00:09:36.120 --> 00:09:41.360
your emotional bank account. Another obstacle, and this is a

117
00:09:41.360 --> 00:09:46.159
big one, is the stress about money itself. When you're

118
00:09:46.159 --> 00:09:49.879
worried about making ends meet, when you're looking at bills

119
00:09:49.919 --> 00:09:55.519
and feeling that not in your stomach, romance can feel impossible.

120
00:09:55.919 --> 00:10:01.440
But here's the paradox. That's exactly when you connection most.

121
00:10:02.240 --> 00:10:06.360
That's when you need to remember why you're in this together.

122
00:10:07.639 --> 00:10:10.639
Talk about the money stress. Don't let it be this

123
00:10:10.879 --> 00:10:15.240
silent thing between you, but also don't let it steal

124
00:10:15.320 --> 00:10:19.679
every moment of joy. Some of our most memorable dates

125
00:10:19.799 --> 00:10:29.600
happened during our brokest seasons, because constraints force creativity. When

126
00:10:29.639 --> 00:10:33.360
you can't just throw money at a problem, you have

127
00:10:33.399 --> 00:10:40.679
to actually think, innovate, try something different, Like the time

128
00:10:40.720 --> 00:10:43.240
we couldn't afford to go out, so we built a

129
00:10:43.240 --> 00:10:46.879
blanket for it in our living room, yes as adults,

130
00:10:48.000 --> 00:10:52.799
and we just talked about everything, our dreams, our fears,

131
00:10:53.679 --> 00:10:58.039
funny stories from when we first met. We talked until

132
00:10:58.080 --> 00:11:06.120
two in the morning. Cost zero dollars, memory priceless. The

133
00:11:06.159 --> 00:11:10.639
final obstacle I want to address is simply life phases.

134
00:11:11.440 --> 00:11:15.799
Maybe you have a newborn and you're both sleep deprived zombies.

135
00:11:16.519 --> 00:11:20.320
Maybe you're caring for aging parents. Maybe one of you

136
00:11:20.480 --> 00:11:25.559
is going through a health challenge. Maybe work is crushing

137
00:11:25.919 --> 00:11:29.360
one or both of you right now. Romance looks different

138
00:11:29.559 --> 00:11:33.960
in different seasons, and that's okay. Sometimes romance is your

139
00:11:34.039 --> 00:11:38.840
partner taking the babies so you can shower alone. Sometimes

140
00:11:38.840 --> 00:11:43.440
it's bringing them soup when they're sick. Sometimes it's just

141
00:11:43.480 --> 00:11:48.919
saying I see you trying when everything feels impossible. Grace,

142
00:11:50.000 --> 00:11:54.840
give each other grace, and remember that seasons change. The

143
00:11:54.960 --> 00:12:02.960
exhausting ones don't last forever. Before we recorded this episode,

144
00:12:03.080 --> 00:12:07.200
I asked our listeners to share their stories. How do

145
00:12:07.240 --> 00:12:11.080
you keep romance alive without breaking the bank? And the

146
00:12:11.159 --> 00:12:15.919
responses they were beautiful. I want to share a few

147
00:12:16.000 --> 00:12:20.360
with you. Sarah wrote in and told me about a

148
00:12:20.399 --> 00:12:23.840
tradition she and her husband started during their first year

149
00:12:23.879 --> 00:12:30.639
of marriage. Every month, they swap a single book. But

150
00:12:30.720 --> 00:12:35.159
here's the twist. As they read, they leave notes for

151
00:12:35.279 --> 00:12:42.440
each other in the margins, little observations, jokes, love notes,

152
00:12:43.120 --> 00:12:46.120
reactions to the story. By the end of the year,

153
00:12:46.840 --> 00:12:51.879
they have twelve books filled with their shared journey. A

154
00:12:52.039 --> 00:12:58.639
dialogue written between lines of other people's stories. Sarah said

155
00:12:59.399 --> 00:13:04.639
in Our Love Story Hidden inside our love Stories, I mean,

156
00:13:05.080 --> 00:13:09.559
come on. Marcus and his wife live in the city,

157
00:13:10.399 --> 00:13:16.200
not exactly Primes stargazing territory, but once a month, no

158
00:13:16.240 --> 00:13:20.759
matter what, they drive fifteen minutes to a nearby hill,

159
00:13:21.639 --> 00:13:26.480
bring a blanket and lie. They're looking up. Sometimes they

160
00:13:26.480 --> 00:13:30.759
can barely see stars through the light pollution. Sometimes it

161
00:13:30.960 --> 00:13:35.279
rains and they sit in their car instead when chill

162
00:13:35.360 --> 00:13:39.559
wiper's going. Just talking, Marcus said, the stars aren't really

163
00:13:39.600 --> 00:13:44.360
the point. The point is they show up every month,

164
00:13:45.000 --> 00:13:51.399
no matter what. It's their sacred time. There's something powerful

165
00:13:51.559 --> 00:13:56.679
about rituals. Isn't there about saying this matters so we

166
00:13:56.799 --> 00:13:59.440
protect it. This one made me tear up a little.

167
00:14:00.080 --> 00:14:04.120
Thomas is a single dad, widowed, young, and he's raising

168
00:14:04.159 --> 00:14:09.080
two daughters. Every Friday night, he makes brownies from scratch,

169
00:14:09.720 --> 00:14:15.240
nothing fancy, just a box mix and love. But he said,

170
00:14:15.279 --> 00:14:19.080
his daughters light up every single Friday when they smell

171
00:14:19.120 --> 00:14:25.080
those brownies baking. It becomes this anchor in their week,

172
00:14:26.600 --> 00:14:30.919
this promise that no matter how hard things get, Friday

173
00:14:30.960 --> 00:14:36.480
brings brownies and time together. He wrote, Romance isn't always

174
00:14:36.559 --> 00:14:40.840
between partners. Sometimes it's showing your kids that love looks

175
00:14:40.960 --> 00:14:45.960
like consistency, like showing up with brownies when life is hard,

176
00:14:46.440 --> 00:14:53.440
And I thought, yes exactly. Jennifer and her husband both

177
00:14:54.000 --> 00:14:59.320
have demanding jobs, different schedules. They barely see each other

178
00:14:59.480 --> 00:15:04.159
some week, so they started leaving sticky notes. One on

179
00:15:04.200 --> 00:15:07.840
the bathroom mirror, one on the coffee maker, one on

180
00:15:07.919 --> 00:15:14.840
the steering wheel. Silly notes, sweet notes, encouraging notes, You've

181
00:15:14.840 --> 00:15:19.080
got this today, love you more than coffee. Your butt

182
00:15:19.120 --> 00:15:24.000
looks great in those genes, Jennifer said. Some mornings, finding

183
00:15:24.039 --> 00:15:27.399
a note is the difference between a hard day and

184
00:15:27.440 --> 00:15:32.679
a bearable one. And it cost what fifty cents for

185
00:15:32.720 --> 00:15:36.679
a pack of sticky notes. What strikes me about all

186
00:15:36.720 --> 00:15:45.519
of these stories is the common thread thoughtfulness, presence. Intentionally,

187
00:15:46.440 --> 00:15:51.159
none of these people are spending money they don't have.

188
00:15:51.759 --> 00:15:59.639
They're spending attention, time, creativity, and their relationship. They're thriving.

189
00:16:00.879 --> 00:16:04.120
All right, We're coming to the end, and I want

190
00:16:04.120 --> 00:16:08.759
to leave you with something concrete, practical steps you can

191
00:16:08.840 --> 00:16:14.519
take starting today, even if it's just fifteen minutes a day.

192
00:16:15.480 --> 00:16:21.960
Protect it fiercely. No phones, no TV, just conversation, check

193
00:16:22.000 --> 00:16:26.399
in with each other. Ask better questions than how is

194
00:16:26.440 --> 00:16:32.879
your day? Try what made you laugh today? Or what's

195
00:16:32.919 --> 00:16:37.159
something you're looking forward to or what's weighing on you

196
00:16:37.279 --> 00:16:41.919
right now? A text that says proud of you, their

197
00:16:41.960 --> 00:16:46.679
favorite snack picked up on the way home, A BackRub

198
00:16:46.840 --> 00:16:51.320
without being asked, doing the chores they hate without making

199
00:16:51.320 --> 00:16:54.879
a big deal about it. These tiny acts of service

200
00:16:55.360 --> 00:17:01.919
and affection, they're the glue. Weekly date night, even if

201
00:17:01.960 --> 00:17:07.720
they're at home after the kids are asleep. Monthly adventures,

202
00:17:07.759 --> 00:17:12.680
even if it's just exploring a new neighborhood, morning coffee

203
00:17:12.720 --> 00:17:19.880
together before the chaos starts. Bedtime conversations where you share gratitude,

204
00:17:21.559 --> 00:17:26.480
find your rhythm, and honor it. Rituals become the backbone

205
00:17:26.519 --> 00:17:31.359
of connection. When anniversaries or birthdays come around, think beyond

206
00:17:31.440 --> 00:17:36.400
store bought gifts. A handwritten letter detailing everything you love

207
00:17:36.480 --> 00:17:40.640
about them. A playlist of songs that remind you of

208
00:17:40.680 --> 00:17:47.640
your relationship. A photo book you made yourself. A treasure

209
00:17:47.759 --> 00:17:52.319
hunt leading to small, meaningful surprises hidden around your house.

210
00:17:53.559 --> 00:17:57.720
A day where you recreate your first date on a budget.

211
00:17:58.759 --> 00:18:02.119
The thought behind it means more than the price tag. Ever,

212
00:18:02.279 --> 00:18:06.359
could don't just think nice things about your partner say

213
00:18:06.400 --> 00:18:13.839
them often specifically, not just I love you. They'll say

214
00:18:13.880 --> 00:18:17.960
that too, but I love how patient you were with

215
00:18:18.000 --> 00:18:22.079
our daughter today, or I appreciate that you always make

216
00:18:22.160 --> 00:18:26.160
sure the gas in my car is full, or thank

217
00:18:26.200 --> 00:18:31.279
you for being my safe place. Appreciation is free, and

218
00:18:31.319 --> 00:18:34.319
it's one of the most powerful relationship tools you have.

219
00:18:35.079 --> 00:18:40.319
Here's the bottom line, friends, romance isn't about money. It

220
00:18:40.440 --> 00:18:45.640
never has been. It's about showing someone consistency and creativity,

221
00:18:46.039 --> 00:18:51.720
that they matter, that you see them, that you choose them,

222
00:18:52.079 --> 00:18:57.799
and that that you can do on any budget. Thank

223
00:18:57.839 --> 00:19:00.880
you for spending time with me today. I hope you're

224
00:19:00.920 --> 00:19:05.880
walking away with fresh ideas, renewed hope, and maybe a

225
00:19:05.960 --> 00:19:11.279
reminder that the best things in life really are free.

226
00:19:11.319 --> 00:19:15.759
If this episode resonated with you, do me a favor,

227
00:19:16.480 --> 00:19:19.319
Share it with someone who needs to hear it. A friend,

228
00:19:20.000 --> 00:19:23.359
your partner, the couple that you know who's in a

229
00:19:23.400 --> 00:19:27.920
tough season. Sometimes we all need a reminder that love

230
00:19:28.039 --> 00:19:32.559
doesn't have to be expensive to be extraordinary. And hey,

231
00:19:33.400 --> 00:19:36.960
if you try any of these ideas, I want to

232
00:19:36.960 --> 00:19:40.400
hear about it. Find us on our social media Facebook

233
00:19:40.640 --> 00:19:43.440
on we are the Hansens and send us a message.

234
00:19:44.079 --> 00:19:48.079
Get on over to our YouTube channel and check us out. Subscribe.

235
00:19:48.440 --> 00:19:51.599
We're all in this together, figuring out how to love

236
00:19:52.000 --> 00:19:55.480
well in real life. Before I let you go, I'll

237
00:19:55.559 --> 00:20:00.960
leave you with this. Love isn't measured in dollars, in moments,

238
00:20:01.599 --> 00:20:06.480
in attention paid, in showing up when it's hard, in

239
00:20:06.559 --> 00:20:13.119
choosing each other even when romance feels impossible, especially then. I'mya, Hanson,

240
00:20:13.720 --> 00:20:16.720
this has been We are the Hansens until next time.

241
00:20:17.000 --> 00:20:20.680
Keep laughing, keep loving, and keep showing up for each

242
00:20:20.720 --> 00:20:21.480
other often