March 3, 2025

Growing Up & Moving Out: The Hanson Sibling Journey

Growing Up & Moving Out: The Hanson Sibling Journey

In this episode of We Are the Hansons, we dive into the emotional and exciting journey of siblings growing up and moving out. From childhood memories to the bittersweet goodbyes, we share personal stories, lessons learned, and how families evolve when the nest starts to empty. Whether you're the one leaving or the one staying behind, this episode is all about love, change, and the lifelong bond of siblings. Tune in for laughter, nostalgia, and heartfelt moments as we explore what it really means when siblings take their next big step in life!

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Hey, everyone, welcome back to We are the Hands, and

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today we're diving into a big topic that every family

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eventually faces. What happens when siblings grow up and move out. Now,

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in a family as big as ours, this is something

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we've had to navigate more than once, and honestly, it

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never really gets easier. There's this mix of pride, sadness, excitement,

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and sometimes even a little chaos. So today I want

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to share my thoughts on how our family has handled it,

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how it's impacted our kids, and some of the things

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we've learned along the way. When you have a full house,

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you get used to the noise, you know, the energy,

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just the general presence of everyone around, and then suddenly

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one of them is gone, whether they're leaving for college, work,

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or just to start their own life, that first empty

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room feels like a punch to the gut. For our

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younger siblings, it's a huge adjustment. They've spent their whole

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lives looking up to their older brothers and sisters now

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that that person isn't there. Every day I've seen my

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kids go through this. Sometimes they're excited for their siblings

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to be moving, sometimes they feel left behind, and sometimes

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they don't know how to process it all. For us

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as parents, it's weird. It's that weird mix of emotions too.

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On one hand, you want them to grow up and

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become independent and chase their dreams, but on the other hand,

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there's this quiet little ache because it's the end of

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an era. One of the biggest things we've tried to

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do is make sure our family stays close even after

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someone moves out. We try to still continue get togethers.

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We try to still do things as a family with

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all of us, and you know, life gets busy, but

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we courage the phone calls, video chats and visits whenever possible,

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just because we want that connection with our children, and

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we want our children to be connected to each other.

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A lot of people assume that once a kid moves out,

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they're gone, but that's not really true. If you've built

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a strong family foundation, they're still part of the fabric

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that is at home. It's just it's different in a way.

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Is pretty much what it is. We've had to learn

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to be intentional about keeping the connection. Sometimes that means,

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you know, having group chats that never stop buzzing. Sometimes

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it's planning family nights when they all come back home,

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or we all meet at one of their houses, and

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sometimes it's just making sure that they know that no

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matter how far they go, they always have a home

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with us. I want my kids to feel that because

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them knowing that our home is always open and they

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can always come back to visit. Even if they needed

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a place to stay, our door would always be open.

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This is home, this is where they were raised. It

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makes them feel comfortable and wanted knowing that they have

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that if they need it. I think the younger kids

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have the hardest time with it. Like you know, one

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day their older sibling is there to help with homework,

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to argue over the remo out, or just to be

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a constant part of their life. The next day they're

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packing up their things and moving on. You know, they

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see that and it does take a toll on them.

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I remember one of my kids struggling when the older

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sibling left, and still to this day. In fact, my

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daughter Madison, you know, she's she's kind of emotional when

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it comes to her siblings leaving, especially ones that she's

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close to. I would say Madison and Gavin have become

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really close this year, closer than they used to be,

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and Gavin will be moving out in May after he graduates.

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And Madison came in the other night and I thought

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she was just coming in to give me a hug

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a night, and when she lay down to hug me,

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she's making this noise. I could tell that she was crying.

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And I said, what's wrong? And she said, I don't

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want Gavin to move out. And I was like, Maddie,

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he's not going to be that far away, you know,

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and he's got tell May. I mean, he graduates and

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he's already moving. It's not like we're never going to

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see him again. You can either go there every weekend

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or every other weekend as long as we don't have

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stuff going on, or he can come see us. It's

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not like we're that far away and it's not like

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we're never going to see him again. And she said,

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but me and Gavin just started getting close this year,

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and I'm not going to see him as much. I'm like,

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you will see him, honey. You know, when kids grow

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up and move out, we as parents are sad, but

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we also want to see them start their own life

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and their own journey and see what we've taught them,

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how they use that and how you know, they raise

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their own family. It's hard for you to tell your

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younger kids that because they don't care about what their

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siblings are going to do for work or anything like that.

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They just want to be able to see them every

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single day and know that they're going to be coming

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through that door at night or they get done with work.

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So that's a big struggle for my Madison, and I

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know the other kids are sad too, but I think

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it's just when you become close to somebody. Even though

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all our kids are pretty clear, you always have that

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one sibling that you're closer to, and Madison is closer

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to Gavin now. And then I remember, like when Morgan

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moved out to go to college. The kids were really

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sad then too, Why does Morgan have to leave? And

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it was mostly the littler ones because they didn't understand

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that when you hit an age and you start living

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your own life, you want your own space, you want

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your own privacy moving out and starting your own life

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and your own journeys. They don't understand that. They just

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want them to be present all the time. It was

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still a struggle, but you know, they get used to it.

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It does take time, and they always ask questions like

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when is Morgan coming home? Or when are we ever

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going to see Colin? Or are keenan interest in coming

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over today? Or you know, it's always that constant question,

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and eventually it starts to fade because they see them

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coming over and they see them constantly and then they realize, oh,

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so they are we are going to see them and

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they will be over more and stuff like that. So

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it does get easier, especially if you can see your kids.

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Our kids in Wisconsin we don't get to see very often.

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We do call them, video chat them, but it's definitely

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not the same. We make sure the kids can talk

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to them. We reassure them that their bigger brother or

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their bigger sister still loves them, and we involve them

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in things like video chats and you want to call them,

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you you can call them stuff like that. So that

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does make it a lot easier. You know, this part

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is hard. When they're little. You're involved in everything as

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a parent, from what they eat to what they wear

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or how they spend their days, and then suddenly they're

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making big life choices on their own and for me

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as a parent, I try and give advice and make

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sure i'm leading them in the right path. And we

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can give our kids advice daily. It doesn't mean they're

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going to take our advice. We hope they do, and

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for the most part, I think our kids are pretty

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good about taking me and their dad's advice, but they

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also want to adventure and see on their own. So

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regardless if we give them the advice and we hope

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they take it, it's up to them to make that step

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and move to do what they feel is best for them.

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I've had to remind myself that my job isn't to

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control their life, but to support them as they figure

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things out. That doesn't mean I don't worry or that

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I don't have my opinions. I definitely do, but it

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does mean I have to trust that we as parents

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raise them well enough to make good choices. And you

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know what seeing them thrive out there in the world is,

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you know, one of the best feelings that I feel,

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even though we miss them like crazy, there's nothing like

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watching them step into adulthood with confidence. And sometimes I

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think to myself, as they grow up, you can tell

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which ones are going to not mess around and take

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things as a joke. Moving out into adulthood and which

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ones are going to be serious and following your footsteps.

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As parents, you hope and pray that they make the

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best choices and stuff and take your advice, but they

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do have to learn on their own. We can only

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hope that they listened. You know. As parents, me and

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my husband pray every single day for all of our

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children to succeed, and we hope our kids will do

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better than us and most parents, most good parents, i

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should say, want to see their kids do better than them,

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and that's what me and my husband hope. We want

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to see them do better than us. We want them

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to take pride in everything they do in life. We

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gave them the advice and it's up to them to

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run with it. One thing we've learned is that moving

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out doesn't always mean forever either, because sometimes your children

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come back, whether it's for a visit, for holidays, or

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even just something that life throws at them like a

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curveball and they need a safe place to land. Our

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doors are always open for our kids, and they know

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that every single one of them, maybe a relationship change

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and it didn't work out and they need to come home.

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My door is open. We will make room in our

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home for our children. We've always told our kids that

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our home is their home no matter how old they get,

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and if they need to come back, whether it's for

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a weekend or a few months or whatnot, our door

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is open to them. I would never let my kids

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go with no home. They will always have a home

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here at home, and they know that. It's almost like Morgan.

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She was staying with her boyfriend and she wanted to

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switch schools, and so her college is in Springfield, so

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she moved home so she could be closer to college.

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It has worked out good for her because one she

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has a place to lay her head, she don't have

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to spend a lot on groceries or living expenses when

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the roads are bad, she doesn't have to travel forty

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five minutes to get to class on bad roads. Granted,

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most of the time the schools close, but sometimes the

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colleges don't close, even though the high school, middle school,

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and elementary do. So there have been days that she

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had to go to school, even in bad weather. And

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it's a ten minute ride to school, so I don't

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have to worry about her going too far on bad roads.

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And if she ever needed a ride, we always get

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her there. Or get her home if she did not

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want to drive. So it's pretty good for us and

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for her as well. Colin has came home and stayed

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until he got on his feet. And guess what, every

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single one of our kids know that our door is

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open for them, and they don't hesitate to say, hey,

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can I stay by you? It's easy. We will make room.

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Regardless of how big our house is. We'll find a

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way and we always do, and our kids know that

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and it's comforting to them. And a lot of times

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we will have family night and our kids are coming home.

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We watch movies, we play games, we have a good dinner,

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and we just all hang out and chit chat and

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enjoy each other's company. And our kids hang out together.

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Over this weekend, the kids went and played basketball together Madison, Tristan, Keenan, Colin.

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They went by their cousins. Gavin hung out with Maddie.

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You know, they all are close and it makes this

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mama heart happy to see that. I am so proud

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of every one of our kids. So when they move out,

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when they grow up, I know they're not going far

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and I know we're going to see them often. Granted

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it's a little harder for the kids in Wisconsin, but

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video and phone calls and ninety nine percent of the

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time we see the kids that live around us here

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in Missouri daily, if not every other day, so it's

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not like it's super bad. And the younger ones are

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starting to get used to that because they know that

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they're going to see them more often than they thought,

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so it's a little bit better now. When Morgan decided

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that she wanted to go to college out of state,

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everyone was sad and we tried to convince her not

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to go, and we did a dang good job of

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convincing her to stay close to home because I was

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worried about her going far away and something bad happening

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and I'd get that horrible phone call that no parent

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wants to get, and I just wouldn't have been able

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to handle it, and nor would my husband Jeremy. It

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would just have been horrible for us. Good for her

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because she wanted to go to a college out of state,

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but not so good for us. There is that at

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the end of the day, you know, watching siblings grow

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up and move out is hard, but it also is

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such a beautiful part of life. It means they're growing

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learning and stepping into who they're meant to be. It's bittersweet,

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but if we do it right, if we stay connected,

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keep communications open, and let love be the foundation, then

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we don't really lose them. Our family just grows in

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a new way. That's all for today. Thanks for hanging

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out with me. If you want to send me a message,

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you can send me a message on our Facebook page

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we are the Hansens, or you can email me at

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we are the Hansen's Show at gmail dot com and

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please go over and subscribe to our We are the

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Hansens YouTube channel. Until next time, take care and remember

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you're always a part of this crazy, beautiful family.