March 13, 2025

Do We Regret Having So Many Kids? The Truth About Big Family Life

Do We Regret Having So Many Kids? The Truth About Big Family Life

Raising a big family comes with incredible joys and real challenges—but do we ever regret having so many kids? In this episode of We Are the Hansons, we get honest about the ups and downs of parenting a large family. From the chaos to the unforgettable moments, we dive into what makes it all worth it (or not). If you’ve ever wondered what life is really like in a big family, this episode is for you!

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Hey, everyone, and welcome back to We Are the Hands,

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and I'm really excited to dive into today's episode, which

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comes from one of our listeners. Someone reached out and

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asked if we regret having so many kids. It's a

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question I've actually been asked quite a few times, and

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I thought I would take this topic and share with

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you today. Before I get into it, I want to

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remind you all that every family's journey is unique, and

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our perspective is just that ours. I'm sure each of

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you listening has your own thoughts, experiences, and challenges when

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it comes to growing your family, But today I want

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to share what it's been like for us, what we've

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learned along the way, and what we truly feel about

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raising such a big crew. Let's start by saying this, No,

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we do not regret having so many kids. We've had

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our challenges, lots of them, but regret that's not something

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that's been part of our equation and having a big

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family is one of the most fulfilling, rewarding things we've

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ever done. And while it might seem overwhelming at times,

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it's our choice. It's been a choice we've made together,

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and it's been a choice that we keep making every

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single day. When you have a large family, people often

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want to know what it's like, and they'll ask if

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we've ever wished that we had less chaos, fewer mouths

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to feed, or less noise. And I get it. It's

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a lot to juggle and on the outside it might

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look like madness, because let's face it, sometimes it is.

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But I think you know most importantly is understanding that

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when you make a decision like this, it's not just

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about the day to day grind. It's about the bigger picture,

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the love, the growth, and laughter, and yes, even the

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struggles that come with that. It's definitely not easy. Let

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me tell you. People tend to view having, you know,

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a large family is extreme. You're either a saint, someone

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to be admired for taking on such a big responsibility,

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or or you're just crazy overwhelmed by your own decisions.

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There's not much middle ground there at all. I can't

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count how many times I've had people say I don't

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know how you do it, or are you sure you're

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not tired of having kids? It's as if there's a checklist.

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You know, there isn't a checklist. It's what makes a

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family big enough I've never understood that what's too big. Honestly,

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what's too much? Every family is different, and this is

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the family we wanted. We chose this, and this is

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our life now. I'd be lying if I said we

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didn't have tough days. There are moments, especially in the

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early years when everyone is really young, and I wondered

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if I could keep up. I'll be honest. There were

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nights when I was so exhausted I thought I'd never

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be able to catch up on sleep again. It was rough.

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There are still days when life feels like a big

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juggling act. It's crazy some days. But I never regretted it,

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not for one second. Every family, like I said, is different,

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and there are people out there that don't want kids,

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and that's their choice. But on our family's journey, we

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chose to have these kids, and I would never regret it.

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I love the big family. The truth is, raising kids,

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no matter how many you have, it's never easy. You

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learn as you go and you adapt. It's true for

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anyone with one child, three children, or thirteen. Their early

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years when they're so dependent on you for everything can

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be taxing. I remember when Maddie was young, I was

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figuring things out as a mom, learning to balance everything

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while having older children as well. It wasn't until I

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had more kids that I realized how much more I

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could handle. Each new child taught us something new, whether

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it was patience, time management, or how to survive on

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less sleep. But through it all, we've made it work.

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And honestly, I wouldn't change a thing. Would not change

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a thing, and I know my husband Jeremy wouldn't change

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a thing. We both wanted a lot of kids and

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we both have a lot of kids. One of the

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things that surprises people is the sheer amount of love

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that grows in our family. Yes, it can be chaotic,

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but it's also deeply fulfilling. When you watch your kids

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grow up together and supporting each other, building their own

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relationships with one another, it's incredible. There's that unspoken bond.

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They have something that's truly magical to witness. Our kids

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are each other's best friends. They're biggest cheerleaders, and sometimes

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they're toughest critics for sure, But that's what our family

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is all about. Most families are all about. And I've

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got to say, there's this beautiful sense of teamwork that

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develops when you have a big family. Everyone has a

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role to play, whether it's helping with tours, taking care

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of younger siblings, or just offering moral support when someone's struggling.

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I see my kids off for that support all the time.

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We're all in this together, even when it feels like chaos.

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There's always someone to lean on, you know. With fifteen

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of us and thirteen of them are kids, you never

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go a day without having a shoulder to cry on

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or ear to listen. Somebody is always there even when

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it feels crazy, and I think that's one of the

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most valuable lessons our kids will take with them as

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they grow up. How to work together as a team,

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how to support one another, and how to love fiercely

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our kids. It amazes me when one of especially the girls,

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is down and out or sad, my boys are right

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there to lend an ear and pick them off the floor.

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Because they're gentlemen. They care about their little sisters, every

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one of them. Of course, there are sacrifices, and you

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can't have thirteen kids and not have to make some adjustments.

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Just doesn't happen. We've made sacrifices in terms of time,

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our resources, and sometimes even our personal space. Date nights.

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For sure, it don't happen as often as we'd like,

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but that doesn't mean it's impossible to find joy in

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the little things. It just means we've had to be

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more creative, and we've had to and we've learned that

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small moments of connection, whether it's a quick chat over

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breakfast or a silly dance party in our living room,

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which happens quite often, mean just as much as grand

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gestures in our house. Another thing that's important to mention

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is that having a big family has made us really

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prioritize what matters. We've learned not to sweat the small stuff.

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When you've got a got so many kids, you start

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to realize that perfection is overrated. There is no such thing.

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It's not about having a spotless house or perfectly behaved children,

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though we definitely try. It's about making sure everyone feels loved, heard,

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and supported. The messes will always be there, the tantrums

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will happen, but at the end of the day, what

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matters most to us is the emotional foundation we've built

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as a family. So do we regret having so many kids?

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Absolutely not. Would we do it all over again without hesitation?

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Do we have tough moments, of course, but those tough

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moments make the good ones feel even more special. The

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love in our home is more than enough to outweigh

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the chaos, and as crazy as it may seem to some,

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it's exactly the family that we have always dreamed of having,

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and here we are. I couldn't imagine life without so

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many kids. I don't know what we do. It is

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an incredible journey that me and my husband both embarked on.

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Here we are killing it. Things definitely aren't always easy,

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but I can tell you now that if I didn't

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have as many kids, I honestly think I would be lost,

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and I'm pretty sure my husband would agree with me

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on that. It seems like when one of our kids

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hits the age of eighteen and they move out, it's like, Wow,

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we're getting low on kids. We have never thought for

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one second not to have this many kids. It has

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been a goal and a dream for both of us,

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and we've definitely got our hands full, but we definitely

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would not trade it for the world. It has been

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a fun journey that we've traveled, being able to watch

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them grow up from babies to adulthood and continue their

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journey on their own after their adults is something that

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makes our heart happy. I know a lot of people

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think we're crazy, and to be honest, if I seen

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a family with this many kids, I'd probably be like, Oh,

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she's got to be crazy with all those kids. But

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it's something we love. It's something we enjoy. You know,

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our vacations are never boring. Our house is never boring.

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There is always something in our home that we can

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look back and laugh and remember. We make memories every

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single day. I think to myself, there's a lot of

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people out there that either can have kids, or you know,

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want kids, and they haven't made it that far yet,

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or they haven't found their person. But I'm here to

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tell you if you want two kids, or five kids

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or twenty kids, I don't care. I will never judge

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somebody for how many kids they have. It ain't easy.

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Even with one child, that ain't easy. But you work

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your butt off and you can make it happen anything

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as possible. And let me tell you this, every single

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child is a blessing. So if you end up pregnant

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and you weren't planning to have baby, just remember that

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baby is a blessing that baby was meant to be.

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And I know there's a lot of young pregnant women

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out there, or young teen moms out there that everyone

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tells them you ruined your life. You're having a baby

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so young. That baby is a blessing. And don't let

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anyone ever tell you that it ruins your life, because

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it didn't. It didn't ruin your life at all. That

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baby will always be your number one supporter. That baby

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will all always look up to you. And a lot

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of times I hear, you know when there's a young

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teen mom. In fact, I went to school with a

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girl in high school that was pregnant and she got

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picked on so bad for being pregnant in high school.

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But I'm going to tell you she finished high school,

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she had that baby and took care of that baby

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on her own. But she did it. Anybody can raise

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a baby. You just got to set your mind to

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it and do it. There's always going to be that

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negative nancy in the background. You know, we've had it

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happened to us where we've had a negative nancy. Oh,

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you're having another baby. I'm sorry, that's none of your business.

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If I want more kids, I will have more kids

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to be honest. If I didn't have the medical issues

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with my little Anna when she was born, I probably

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would have had one or two more kids. You can

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call me crazy, you can call me insane, but my

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love for children and my husband's love for children are huge,

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and they are our life. And that's why our home

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is open to any child that's out there. They will

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always be safe in my home. A lot of my kids,

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as friends, call me Mom and my husband dad because

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we are there to listen, we are there to give support,

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and we would never let anyone get hurt in our

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home or go hungry. I have always helped kids with homework,

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with food, with anything they needed. They could always come

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to us and we make sure they had what they needed. Close,

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you name it, we did it. And I guess that's

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just the love for kids that we have. But I

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couldn't never say I regretted having this many kids, because

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that would definitely be untrue. So to the listener that

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asked that question, we do not at all regret having

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this many kids. If you have any other questions, you

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can send us a message on our we are the

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Hansen's Facebook page. But before I wrap up, I want

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to leave you with this thought. No matter the size

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of your family or the challenges you face, the most

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important thing is that you make choices that feel right

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to you. If that means one child, if that means ten,

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or if that means something in between, do what makes

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your heart happy. For us, that's having a big family,

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and it's been one of the greatest blessings to our lives.

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Thank you so much for listening today. I hope I

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answered some of your questions and gave you a little

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insight into what it's really like having a large family.

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If you have any other questions or a topic you

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want me to dive into, feel free to reach out

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to me on our We Are the Hanson's Facebook page

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or send me an email at we are the Hansenshow

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at gmail dot com. And don't forget to check out

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our YouTube and subscribe. We will see you next time.