Nov. 24, 2025

13 Kids 1 Bathroom

13 Kids 1 Bathroom

Welcome to the wildest, realest, most unforgettable chapter of Hanson family life. In this episode, Myia Hanson pulls back the curtain on what it’s actually like managing a household of 13 kids… with only one bathroom to share.

From morning chaos and nightly bathroom rotations to the hilarious emergencies, unexpected bonding moments, and creative survival strategies only a big family can invent—this episode is a raw, cinematic journey into love, patience, and pure family madness.

Myia dives deep into how a single toilet became the centerpiece of family debates, comedy, and unforgettable memories. It’s honest. It’s chaotic. It’s heartfelt. And it’s a celebration of choosing joy—no matter how crowded the hallway gets.

If you’ve ever wondered how big families make it work… or if you just need a good laugh… this one’s for you.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Six forty seven am a house stirring to life, thirteen souls,

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one mission, one bathroom. What you're about to hear isn't

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a survival story from some remote wilderness. There are no bears,

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no avalanches, no treacherous mountain passes. This is something far

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more dangerous. This is parenthood multiplied by thirteen, divided by

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one tiny room with a lock that stopped working in

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twenty nineteen. And somehow we wouldn't trade it for anything. Okay,

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maybe we'd trade it for a second bathroom, but that's it. Hey, friends,

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welcome to We are the Hansens. I'm Maya Hanson, and

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if you're new here, let me paint you a picture.

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My husband Jeremy, and I have thirteen children, yes, thirteen,

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born entire family through love, intention, and apparently an excellent

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sense of humor from the universe. Most of our kids

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did public school, but now we do online. We run

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multiple businesses. We create together, we dream together, we build together,

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and we share one bathroom. Today's episode is about that bathroom,

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but really it's about what happens when a family chooses

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to lean into the chaos instead of fighting it. When

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you realize that the hard parts those become stories you

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tell forever. So grab your coffee, buckle up, and let

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me tell you what it's really like when thirteen kids

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share one bathroom. Every morning in the Hanson House begins

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the same way with a race, not a fun race,

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not a friendly race. This is the Hunger Games bathroom Edition.

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The goal is simple, be first to the bathroom, because

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first means hot water. First means privacy. First means you

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might actually get to brush your teeth without someone's elbow

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in your ribs. Second place. Second place means waiting and

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negotiating and listening to whoever is in their humming show

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tunes like they're auditioning for Broadway. I've watched my kids

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develop strategies that would impress the military. One of my

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daughters wakes up fifteen minutes before everyone else. She's mastered

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the art of the silent wake up, no alarm, internal

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clock only she slides out of bed like a ninja

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and makes her move while the house still sleeps. My

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teenage boys they formed an alliance, a bathroom pack. They

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take turns being first, rotating days like they're running a

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fortune five hundred company. But the little ones, the early

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elementary kids, they have no strategy, only chaos. You were unfiltered,

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desperate chaos. Last Tuesday, I watched my youngest sprint down

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the hallway wearing just her shorts, and they were backwards,

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screaming bathroom emergency, like she was announcing the apocalypse. Her

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older brother beat her by half a second, split through

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the door, and lock. My eight year old stood there

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staring at that closed door like it had personally betrayed her.

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Then she looked at me, eyes welling up, bottom, lip trembling. Mom,

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I don't think I'm gonna make it. Here's what nobody

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tells you about big families. You develop this incredible sense

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of humor about bodily functions because you have to when

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you have thirteen kids in one bathroom. Dignity is the

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first casualty. Privacy died years ago, Shane. We don't know her.

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We've had full family meetings about bathroom etiquette with PowerPoint presentations.

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Not joking. My husband Jeremy made slides Slide one. If

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you sprinkle when you tinkle, be the sweetie and wipe

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the seed. Slide two. The toilet paper roll has a

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magic refael button. Just kidding, replace it yourself. Slide three

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a photo of our plunger with the ca option know

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where this lives. But here's the beautiful part. Somewhere between

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the chaos and the competition and the absolute absurdity of

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it all, my kids are learning something valuable. They're learning patience.

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They're learning to think about others. They're learning that sometimes

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you don't get what you want when you want it,

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and that's okay, well mostly okay. We've definitely had some incidents.

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If you want to understand power dynamics in the Hansen household,

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you need to understand our shower schedule. We don't call

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it a schedule. We call it the rotation, and the

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rotation is sacred. Every child gets exactly twelve minutes, not thirteen,

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not fifteen twelve. We have a waterproof timer that we

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con suction cup to the shower wall, and when that

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timer beeps, your time is up, no exceptions, no negotiations, No.

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But I still have conditioner in my hair. Rents faster.

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Now you might think this sounds strict, and you'd be right,

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But when you have thirteen people who need to get

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clean and a hot water heater that's already working overtime

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just to keep up structure, isn't about control, It's about survival.

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My teenagers push back on this the most. They want

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their long showers where you just stand under the water

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and think deep thoughts about life and the universe. I

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get it, I really do. But this is not a spa,

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This is not a meditation retreat. This is a bathroom

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in a house with thirteen kids. You can contemplate the

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universe on your own time. Last month, my fourteen year

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old daughter decided to test the system. She stayed in

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there for twenty three minutes. When she finally emerged, wrapped

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in a towel and radiating defiance, she found seven of

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her siblings standing in the hallway, arms crossed, glaring. No

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one said a word. She hasn't gone over twelve minutes

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since pure pressure is a powerful thing. But here's what

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I've noticed. Within all these rules and timers and rotations,

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my kids have gotten creative. My nine year old daughter

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discovered that if she showers at night instead of mourning,

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she gets sixteen minutes because fewer people are competing for

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the bathroom time. She came to me so proud of herself,

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like she'd cracked a Da Vinci code. Mom, Mom, I

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figured out a life hack, and I just smiled, because

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that's exactly what we want them to learn. How to

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problem solve, how to think outside the box, how to

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thrive within constraints instead of just complaining about them. Then

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there's the hot water situation. Our hot water heater is

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a workhorse, a champion. It deserves a metal for bravery

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and dedication. But it's not magic. By the time we

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get to kid number eight or nine in the morning rotation,

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the water temperature is let's call it character building. My

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younger kids have learned to shower fast, not because of

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the timer, but because lukewarm water is a powerful motivator.

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Get in, get clean, get out before the Arctic blast arrives.

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One night last year, I was up late folding laundry.

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It was past midnight. The house was finally quiet, and

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I heard the shower turn on. I walked down the

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hallway and found my oldest daughter standing under the water

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with her eyes closed. She wasn't washing her hair, she

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wasn't rushing, she was just standing there. I didn't interrupt.

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I just watched for a moment from the doorway because

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I understood, sometimes the shower isn't about getting clean It's

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about having thirty seconds where nobody needs you, where nobody's

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asking questions, where you can just exist. That's what one

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bathroom teaches you. To find the small moments of peace

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wherever you can, even if it's standing under lukewarm water

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at midnight, because that's the only time you get to

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be alone. We need to talk about toothbrushes. In a

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house with thirteen kids, toothbrushes become complicated. Everyone has their

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own color coded toothbrush. This is non negotiable. We learned

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this the hard way after or the great toothbrush mix

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up in twenty eighteen. We don't talk about twenty eighteen. Now.

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Each child has a specific color purple for Torren, blue

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for Anlin, green for Tristan, and so on. The system works,

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usually until someone loses their toothbrush and decides in their

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own wisdom to just borrow someone else's. The discovery of

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toothbrush theft in this house is treated with the same

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seriousness as a federal investigation. Who used my toothbrush? Not me?

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I didn't touch it. Maybe it grew legs and walked away.

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I've become a toothbrush detective. Sherlock Holmes of the bathroom sink.

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I can tell by the bristle pattern who used what.

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I can identify toothpaste brand preferences by smell. This is

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my life now. Then there's the toothpaste situation. We've tried everything,

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family sized tubes, individual mini tubes, pump dispensers. Nothing survives.

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The toothpaste tube in our house goes through stages like

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grief and misery. Stage one, brand new, full perfect. Everyone

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squeezes from the bottom like civilized humans. Stage two, someone

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gets lazy, the middle gets squeezed, the tube develops a

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weird bulge. Stage three chaos. The cap goes missing, toothpaste

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is everywhere except inside the tube. Stage four. The tube

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is now flat, completely empty, but somehow one child insists

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there's still toothpaste in there and will extract the last molecule.

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Stage five, the tube is found on the floor, stepped on,

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de clared, deceased. Funeral services are not held. We simply

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open a new tube and start the cycle again. But

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you know what's funny. In all the toothbrush wars and

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toothpaste tragedies, there are these moments that make me stop

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and smile, Like when my eight year old helps her

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sister here, let me help you, okay, now spit. Or

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when my teenagers voluntarily buy new toothpaste with their own

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money because they know we're running low. They don't announce it,

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they don't ask for credit, they just replace it. Those

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small acts of service, those matter more than they ever know,

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because we're not just teaching them to brush their teeth.

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We're teaching them to think about others, to notice when

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something's needed, to contribute to the family without being asked.

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And yeah, sometimes that lesson come with a side of

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toothpaste on the mirror and bristles in the sink, But

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I'll take it. Every family has their secret language. In

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the Hansen house, ours is the knock code. If you

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don't know the knock code, you're about to learn why

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it matters. See, when you have a bathroom and thirteen

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people who need to use it, communication becomes critical. But

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here's the thing about bathroom communication. Nobody wants to shout

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personal information through a locked door. Are you almost done?

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I really need to go. So we've developed a system.

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One knock, how much longer? Two knocks? I need to

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get in there soon. Three knocks. This is becoming urgent.

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Four knocks emergency, I repeat emergency. The person inside then

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responds with their own knock code. One knock back, give

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me five minutes. Two knocks back, Almost done, Three knocks back.

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I'm in the middle of something. You might want to

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find an alternative. We don't have an alternative, but the

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warning is appreciated. The knockcode has saved us from many

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countless awkward conversations. It's efficient, it's private, and it works mostly.

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Sometimes a child will create their own knock pattern, a

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freestyle interpretation of the code, random knocking, and the person

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inside will yell back, what does that mean? It means

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hurry up, communication, breakdown. We've all been there. But here's

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what the knockcode really taught us. Sometimes the best solutions

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are the simple one. We could have installed a complicated

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scheduling app. We could have brought one of those electronic

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signs that shows red or green for occupied or vacant.

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We could have done a lot of things, but we

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just learn to knock. And in learning to knock, we

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learn to wait, to respect boundaries, to understand that sometimes

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people need a minute, not just in the bathroom. In life.

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My kids know that when mama's bedroom door is closed

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and I don't answer right away. Maybe I need a

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minute too. They learn that from the bathroom boundaries aren't

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about keeping people out. They're about creating space where everyone

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can be themselves, even if that space is a five

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x seven bathroom with a door that doesn't lock properly

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and an exhaust fan that sounds like a helicopter, Which

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brings me to the next part of our story, the

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dark times. Every parent has a nightmare scenario, a worst

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case situation that lives in the back of their mind,

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lurking in the shadows. For parents of thirteen kids with

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one bathroom, that nightmare has a name, the clog. It

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happened on a Saturday morning, eight am. The house was

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just waking up. My husband was making coffee, I was

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starting breakfast. The kids were emerging from their rooms like

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adorable zombies, heading for the bathroom. Then I heard it.

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A squab our child was screaming, Mom, Dad, the toilet

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won't flush. Jeremy and I looked at each other. In

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that moment, we didn't need words. We both knew this

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was it, the nightmare. I got to the bathroom first,

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opened the door, and there it was. The water level

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in the toilet was higher than it should be, much higher.

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My son, at the time he was only four, just

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stood there, pale as a ghost, eyes wide open with fear,

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yelling I didn't do anything wrong, I promise. I just

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flushed it and it went like this up instead of down.

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It's okay, buddy. I told him, go find your dad,

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tell him to bring the plunger and pray. Here's what

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you need to understand. In a house with one bathroom,

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a clog isn't just an inconvenience. It's a full scale disaster.

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Where do thirteen people go when one toilet doesn't work?

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The gas stations down the street got real familiar with

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our family that day. Jeremy worked on that toilet for

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three hours, plunger snake YouTube tutorials, mumbling under his breath. Meanwhile,

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I became the bathroom traffic controller. Okay, bathroom still down.

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If you need to go, you're taking the van to

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the store. But Mom, no butts, literally get in the van.

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By noon, we made seven trips to the station. The

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attendant knew us by name. Back again Hansen's Yep, plumbing crisis,

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thoughts and prayers. At two pm, Jeremy finally emerged from

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the bathroom holding the toilet snake. I got it. The

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kids cheered, actually cheering, like their favorite sports team had

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just won the championship. And in that moment I realized something.

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We take our bathroom for granted. Running water, functioning plumbing,

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the ability to flush without crisis. These are luxuries. That night,

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after everyone was in bed, I sat on the edge

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of the bathroom tub and just looked around that tiny room.

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The chip tile, the grout was needing, recocking, the mirror

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with toothpaste spots. I could never quite get off the

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room that drives us crazy, that causes so much chaos,

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This room that we're so lucky to have. Not everyone

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has running water, Not everyone has a safe place bade

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their children. We have one bathroom, but we have one

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more than some people will ever have. Perspective is a

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funny thing. Sometimes it takes a clog to remind us

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what matters. If you think thirteen kids sharing one bathroom

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is hard when they're little, wait until they become teenagers.

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Everything changes when your children discover mirrors. My teenage daughter

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can spend forty five minutes in that bathroom, not exaggerating

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forty five minutes. They go in looking like they just

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woke up, which they did. They come out looking like

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they're about to walk a runway in milan, hair curled,

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make get flawless, outfit co ordinated for what for school?

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For school where they'll sit at their desk and listen

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to their lessons with their siblings. But that's not the point.

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The point is the process. The bathroom becomes their sanctuary,

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their creative studio, their confidence building workshop. And I get it,

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I really do. But meanwhile, there are eleven other people

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who need to use that room. This you almost done,

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five more minutes, fifteen minutes later, This you said five minutes.

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My teenage sons have a different approach. They're in and

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out in eight minutes. Flat shower, teeth, hair done. They

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don't understand what their sisters are doing in there. What

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takes so long? You wouldn't understand. It's complicated? How is

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washing your face complicated? They'll understand someday when they have

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daughters of their own, and I will laugh. But here's

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what I love about watching my teenagers navigate this one

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bathroom situation. They're learning negotiation skills that will serve them

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for life. My fourteen year old daughter wanted extra time

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to get ready for a church event she needed the

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bathroom from six point thirty to seven point fifteen. Instead

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of just taking it and dealing with the fallout, she

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called a family meeting the night before. Okay, so tomorrow

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I need extra bathroom time. Here's my proposal. I'll do

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the breakfast dishes for whoever gives up their slot, and

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I'll cover evening bathroom duties for anyone willing to go

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to the gas station tomorrow morning. Instead, she negotiated, She

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offered value in exchange for what she wanted. My husband

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and I sat there trying not to smile, because that's business,

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that's leadership, that's emotional intelligence. And she learned it fighting

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for the bathroom time with her siblings. The beauty of

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big families isn't that everything's easy. It's that nothing's easy.

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And in that struggle, in that constant negotiation compromise, kids

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learn how the real world works. They learn that you

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don't always get what you want. They learn that sometimes

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you have to give something to get something. They learn

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that other people's needs matter just as much as yours.

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They learn to be human in a bathroom with one

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sink and a medicine cabinet that won't stay closed. These

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are the classrooms we don't plan for, the lessons we

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didn't write in a homeschool curriculum, but they might be

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the most important ones we ever teach. Not every bathroom

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moment in our house is about chaos and competition. Some

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are sacred. Bathtime with the little ones is still my

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favorite part of the day. When the house finally quiets

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down at night, and I fill that tub with warm

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water and bubbles and I watch my younger children play,

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that's when time stops. My eight year old daughter makes

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beards out of the bubbles. My nine year old daughter

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she creates elaborate stories about the toy boat, and I

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sit on the edge of the tub, washing their hair,

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listening to their laughter. In those moments, I'm not thinking

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about the chaos in the morning. I'm not worried about

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tomorrow's schedule. I'm just there, present and grateful. This bathroom

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that causes so many problems during the day becomes something

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different at night. It becomes a place where I connect

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with my kids one on one without distractions. My older

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kids used to fight bathtime when they were little. I

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don't want a bath I'm not dirty, But now now

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that they're older and showers have replaced baths, they tell

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me they miss it. Remember when you used to take

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bubble bass and you'd wash your hair and tell us stories. Yeah,

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I remember. Sometimes I'll catch one of the teenagers just

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sitting on the edge of the bathtub, not doing anything,

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just sitting, okay, yeah, just thinking. The bathroom becomes a

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thinking place, a refuge. Even in a house full of people,

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you can close that door and have a moment to yourself,

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to process, to feel, to just be in all the

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chaos of our days, in all the rushing and scheduling

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and managing thirteen different personalities, sometimes the best things we

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can do is just sit with our kids on a

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bathroom floor. That's the thing about small spaces. They're forced intimacy.

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When you can't escape each other, When you're constantly bumping

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into each other in the hallway and sharing sinks and

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negotiating mirror space, you learn to be together, really together.

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And I know someday this season will end. Someday all

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my kids will grow up and move out and have

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their own bathrooms in their own house, and they'll probably

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have more than one. They'll have a master bath with

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double sinks and walk in showers and all the space

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they could ever want. And maybe they'll appreciate it, but

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maybe they'll also miss this, the chaos, the laughter, the negotiations,

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the knock code, the feeling of being part of something

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bigger than yourself, even if that's something is a bathroom schedule.

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So here's what I want you to hear. Whether you

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have kids or not, whether you have one bathroom or five,

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the limitations in our lives aren't always obstacles. Sometimes they're teachers.

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Our bathroom has taught my children patience, creativity, negotiation, and empathy.

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It's taught them about resources and they should be respected.

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It's taught them that our needs matter, but so do

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everyone else's. It's taught them that life doesn't always go

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your way, and that's okay. We live in a world

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that constantly tells us we need more, more space, more stuff,

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more convenience, and there's nothing wrong with wanting those things.

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But there's also something beautiful about learning to thrive with less,

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about finding joy in the constraints, about laughing at the

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chaos instead of being defeated by it. Do I wish

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I had two bathrooms? Sometimes? Absolutely do I dream about

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mornings where everyone gets ready without drama. You bet, But

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what I trade these years, these memories, these lessons, not

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for anything, Because here's the truth. My kids won't remember

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that we only had one bathroom. I mean, they'll remember it,

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but they won't remember it as a hardship. They'll remember

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it as part of their story, part of what made

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them who they are. They'll tell their own kids someday,

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you think this is bad, we had thirteen people sharing

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one bathroom, and their kids will look at them like

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they're describing pioneer life on the prairie. And my kids

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will smile because they know the secret. You survive by

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loving each other, by laughing at the absurdity, creating systems

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and breaking them and creating new ones. You survived by

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being a family. Not a perfect family, not an instagram

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worthy family, just a family, A real, messy, loud, beautiful

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family with one bathroom. Thank you so much for spending

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this time with me today. Friends, If you found this

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episode made you laugh, made you feel a little less

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alone in your own chaos, or reminded you that perfect

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doesn't always exist and that's perfectly okay, then my heart

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is happy. We'd love to hear from you. You can

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send us an email on We arethe Hanson's Show at

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gmail dot com. You can also send us a message

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on our We Are the Hanson's Facebook page and get

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on over to our YouTube channel and subscribe. From our

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one bathroom to wherever you are. This is Maya Hanson

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reminding you that the best stories come from the hardest seasons.

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Keep loving your people, keep laughing at the chaos, and

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never ever take a functioning toilet for granted.